Fallen Angel, Part 1

by Podger, Tracie

  Either side of the drive was grassed with football goal posts dotted around. There was no obvious boundary fence, no gates, which surprised me a little judging by some of the properties we had passed with security. We pulled up outside a large house and were met by Ted.

  “Come on in,” he said as he opened the car doors. “The kids are doing my head in, wanting to see you,” he added with kindness.

  With a hand on my back, Robert guided me to the door. I noticed a group of boys, probably no older than twelve, thirteen, looking out from one of the windows. We were shown into a living room with small sofas dotted about, a large flat screen TV on the wall and Play Stations, wires trailed everywhere.

  The boys rushed to Robert, giving high five’s and awkward handshakes as only youngsters could do. They’d all started speaking at once, squabbling because each wanted to speak first.

  “Whoa,” Robert said. “One at a time please,” he smiled.

  “Gerry has got in trouble again,” one said.

  “No I haven’t, shut ya mouth,” came the reply.

  “Yeah, he got a slap, nicked some stuff from old man Jeff’s,” yet another added.

  Robert laughed and held his hands up in surrender.

  “Boys, we have a guest, do you think she wants to hear all this, and Gerry, you and I are going to talk later, right,” he said sternly to the younger boy.

  I watched him interact with those boys. He’d sat on the sofa with them as they told him what they had been up to, how they hated school, and could they have some more games. Evelyn and Travis had left the room with Ted, Evelyn to leave some shopping in the kitchen and Travis with Ted, to no doubt discuss Gerry’s mischief. My heart felt for Robert, how could he think he would be a bad father? Just looking at him with those boys, he was what anyone would want in a dad. He was attentive, he reprimanded and separated a scuffle.

  What a waste, I thought.

  I’d noticed someone come to the door, a girl with dirty hands and tangled hair. She looked pitiful and my eyes were immediately drawn to the bruises on her face. She saw me look and covered her cheek with her hand as she backed out.

  I placed a hand on Robert’s knee, “Be back in a moment,” I said.

  I wandered out to the front door. The girl, with her jumper wrapped around herself, was sat on a bench, smoking a cigarette. She looked about fifteen, but it was hard to tell.

  “Can I sit with you?” I asked.

  She shrugged her shoulders, “Whatever,” she replied.

  “My name’s Brooke,” I said. “What’s yours?”

  “Why, lady, do ya wanna know?” she asked not looking at me.

  “No reason, I just thought it might be nice,” I replied.

  She sat and finished her cigarette; the smoke was being expertly exhaled in rings before she flicked the butt across the lawn in defiance of the non-smoking sign.

  “Kerry,” she said. “My name’s Kerry.”

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  She looked at me as if I was stupid, “I ain’t got anywhere to go, obviously.”

  “I’m sorry, that was dumb of me, but I am English,” I said with a smile.

  “You his girlfriend?” she asked, gesturing with her eyes to the house.

  “Yes, I suppose I am,” I replied

  “He never brought a girl here before. I miss Evelyn though,” she said and the harshness to her voice softened.

  “I like Evelyn, she’s a lovely woman,” I replied. I’d hoped that would draw her into a conversation with me.

  “Yeah, she’s the only lady who gives a shit.”

  “How old are you?” I asked.

  “Old enough, what’s with the questions? You ain’t with the cops, are ya?”

  I laughed, “No, I told you. I’m English; I came here on holiday and have decided to stay for a while. Will you show me around?”

  She’d shrugged her shoulders and stood. I followed and saw just how thin she was. The bones of her shoulder blades pushed through a too flimsy jumper, jeans hung from her hips and too big, battered sneakers covered her bare feet. How had that girl ended up there, looking that way? I was curious. The boys in the lounge looked well fed and wore clean clothes.

  “Do you live here, Kerry?” I asked.

  “Nah, I just get some food every now and again,” she replied.

  “Where do you live then?” I didn’t want to push, but I asked anyway.

  She just nodded her head towards the trees beyond the lawn.

  We walked around the building. It had a large garden surrounding the whole house and I was amazed to see it was much bigger that I’d thought at first. At the rear of the property was a porch with a back door leading into the kitchen. On the porch were a couple of swing seats with an old blanket.

  “Sometimes I sleep here,” she said as we walked past and to the door of the kitchen.

  Evelyn turned towards us as we entered the room.

  “Kerry,” she said, a warm smile on her face. “It’s good to see you, are you hungry?”

  She reached out with a sandwich. Kerry snatched it and stuffed it in her pocket.

  “See ya,” she said, she looked at me as she left the kitchen.

  I turned to Evelyn and saw the sad smile on her face.

  “What do you know about her?” I asked.

  “Now there’s a sad story, Brooke. We don’t really know an awful lot; she lives just outside the house. Got a druggie for a mother and abused by moms many pimps and boyfriends.”

  “Why is she not here then, in this house, how old is she?”

  “Fifteen, but we can’t make her stay. The authorities have tried to intervene but she has a mother. She can come and go and when she feels comfortable enough she might just stay.”

  I looked out the window and at the ragbag of a girl sitting on the swing seat. She stuffed the sandwich in her mouth as if it would be last thing she will eat.

  “We found her here a while ago, scavenging in the bins,” Robert said as he came into the room. “We’ve tried to speak to her mother, to talk her into giving her up to us. To be honest she sees her daughter as a meal ticket, pimps her out to earn her next heroin fix.”

  “Kerry is too scared of her mother to come here voluntarily, so for now we just offer her a shelter when things get too bad. She can get food and we have a nurse that comes once a week, she can see her if she needs to. The poor girl was pregnant a couple of years back, miscarried thankfully,” Evelyn added. Her hand caressed the cross that hung from her neck.

  My heart broke for that girl. On the cusp of becoming a woman, she was already ruined with no hope for her future. How could a mother do that to her child? For the first time my childlessness hit me. A mother should protect their child, lay down their life for them if need be, not use and abuse them. My eyes met Robert’s and I immediately understood. He saw himself in every one of those children and he wanted for it not to have to be that way. But he was an inspiration to them. He’d changed his life around, became successful. Whatever journey he’d taken to get to where he was, if he could impart just something on these kids, save just one of them, I believed that must have made him happy.

  I turned back to look at Kerry, she was sat on the swing seat. I took two cans of Coke and went to join her. I silently handed her one as she eyed me suspiciously.

  “Did you know they have a gym you can use?” I said.

  “Yeah,” she answered, opening her can.

  “I’m going there, I do a bit of kickboxing if you want to come.”

  She looked sharply at me and I continued. “It’s good fitness, but best of all, you can learn how to defend yourself, you know, should you ever have to,” I said casually.

  “Well, it was nice to meet you and if you want, we can meet again at the gym, Ted knows when,” I said as I pushed myself off the swing.

  I’d hoped that I had planted a seed. I wanted to help her and if I could get her to interact with me on one thing, maybe, just maybe, I could do something to make her
life a little better.

  I walked into the lounge where Robert and Ted were talking, a list was being written of items needed replacing, new things for the kids. They had a rule, they told me, if a child broke something by neglect, it didn’t get replaced. Robert explained that he wanted them to learn respect for what they had. He and Ted discussed each child and I gathered that there were ten that stayed there. I listened as Robert went through school reports and I listened to Ted. His rough, gruff voice was full of love for those kids as he told stories about what they had been up to, any trouble, and what progress they’d made.

  Leaving was hard. I’d spied Kerry in the distance and raised my hand to her, she didn’t respond but I thought I saw a small smile. That would do. We drove off, initially in silence.

  “It’s always hard leaving the first time you meet them,” Robert said.

  “You are amazing you know, what you do here,” I said with unshed tears.

  “I just want them to have a chance. Some do, some grow up, and get an education and then work for me. Some just leave and we don’t see them again,” he said.

  I saw Travis look in the rear view mirror. He caught my eye and gave me wink, a message had been sent, ‘see, I told you he wasn’t all bad’.

  We drove through the city and Robert pointed out buildings he owned. There were a couple of hotels, the restaurant we had first dined at, apartment blocks, and I marvelled at his success. I desperately wanted to know how he’d got to that moment in his life.

  ***

  When we arrived home I felt like I needed some fresh air. I grabbed a sweatshirt asked Robert to show me the grounds. We took a walk. Immediately surrounding the house was a manicured lawned area and I learnt that he paid some of the older boys at the home to tend to the grass. There were no plants or flowers; I doubted their knowledge extended beyond the lawnmower.

  We walked to an opening in the trees and into the wooded area. It was nearing October and the leaves were starting to turn brown, fall from their branches. We came to a clearing, to a shooting range and I looked at Robert.

  “If you’re going to live here, you should learn to shoot, Brooke,” he said.

  “Why on earth would I learn to shoot? We don’t have guns back home. It’s not normal to be around them, I don’t think so,” I said.

  I’d never handled a gun in my life; the thought scared me. God no, I had no desire to learn to shoot.

  Next to the clearing was a stone building and taking a key Robert opened the door. He keyed in a code to silence the alarm and I noticed the place surrounded with CCTV. The room contained gun cabinets and opening one, he took out a shotgun. I noticed handguns and rifles too.

  “I hope you have a licence for these,” I said, nervously laughing.

  “Of course. Now come on, let me show you how it’s done.”

  He filled his pocket with cartridges and we walked back out of the room straight into Travis. I sighed; it was that bloody stalking thing again.

  Travis gave me some ear defenders that I’d placed over my head and stood behind some bales of straw. Robert lined up his shotgun. In the distance were black body shapes pinned to more straw, and behind that a mound of earth to capture the lead, I guessed. I watched the concentration on Robert’s face as he placed the gun to his shoulder. He had one eye closed and the other looking straight down the barrel. He pulled the trigger and the noise echoed around. I jumped and a small scream left my lips. Travis smirked at me and I aimed a kick at him.

  A second shot rang out, that time I was prepared. Leaving the shotgun uncocked, Robert and Travis walked to the target slapping each other on the back when they arrived, obviously pleased with the result.

  As they walked back with boyish grins on their faces, I asked if they would let me have a go.

  Travis went into the building and came out with a smaller version, loaded it and handed it to Robert. He stood directly behind me and I was reminded of other times he had done that. A giggle escaped from my lips.

  “I know what you’re thinking, now concentrate. Put one hand here, on the barrel and the other here, finger on the trigger but don’t pull,” he said as he moved my hands to the correct place.

  “Now, this sits in your shoulder and rest your cheek here,” he said.

  “Focus on the target and when you’re ready, pull,” he added as he stepped back slightly.

  I’d squinted, trying to hold the heavy shotgun steady into my shoulder. My heart was hammering but as much as I had protested earlier, I was quite excited. I pulled the trigger but was totally unprepared for the recoil. The butt of the gun slammed into my shoulder and I stumbled backwards. The gun rose in the air. Immediately arms wrapped around me, pulling the gun down towards the floor.

  “I hit it, I hit it!” I said, jumping up and down with excitement.

  “I doubt it,” Travis laughed

  I gave the gun to Robert and ran to the target.

  “See, I hit it,” I shouted back.

  There were a couple of little holes just at the edge of the blacked out body. I raised my arms in a victory salute as I ran back.

  “Did she?” Robert called to Travis who was checking out my handiwork.

  “Only just. A small nick to the shoulder, wouldn’t stop a mouse though,” he said laughing.

  “I don’t care, I hit it,” I said sulkily.

  “Well done, baby, that mouse will sure get it next time,” Robert said.

  “Let me have another go,” I said.

  With the gun held much firmer into my shoulder, I let off another shot. That time I hit the target a little better, not in the centre, or the head, as I’d seen Robert do, but I was happy.

  “Perhaps we could go clay shooting?” I asked, “That’s why you have all these guns isn’t it?”

  A look passed between them, one that I’d seen but was unsure of its meaning. Still, I was on a roll; I was having fun. Shooting a gun was not as scary as I’d thought it would be, and with a little practice I might do well.

  Travis locked up and we headed back to the house.

  “Aren’t you worried someone might break in there?” I asked pointing to the building.

  “It’s alarmed and we have CCTV all around the area. We would see someone long before they got close to the house or here.”

  I looked around. I hadn’t noticed before and although very subtle, every now and again I saw a camera. Sometimes they were so well hidden Robert had to point them out. I also saw them move, they followed us.

  “No one can get close without tripping a sensor, even from outside the property. Only my cars can open the gates, so don’t ever walk home, you won’t get in,” he said with a laugh.

  “Why all the security?” I asked

  “When you have what I do, there’s always someone who wants to take it away,” was all he replied.

  I felt chilly, we’d been outdoors for a while, and the temperature was dropping. Winter was well on its way. We headed up to the kitchen and Evelyn handed me a cup of tea. I was pleased to taste it was Earl Grey. Sam must have given her a shopping list of what I liked when she’d collected my things because she also put a plate of my favourite biscuits on the bar.

  Travis and Robert left me to go to the office, they had some work to discuss, and I sat in the TV room. I flicked through the channels until I’d found something interesting, and I settled down. I was already growing to love being at the house. A little while later Evelyn popped her head around the door.

  “Brooke I’m preparing dinner and I thought I should ask if you have any allergies, anything you don’t like.”

  “Oh, just salmon, I can’t eat that. Other than that, I not a fussy eater, thank you,” I replied.

  I wondered if I’d get used to that, having someone cook for me. I’d learnt that she worked weekdays, cooking, cleaning, and looking after Robert, the apartments and she took the weekends off. I also knew, she sometimes went back to the home to help out.

  I watched a nature program and lost track of ti
me. I was comfortable there but my mind wandered back to Kerry. I’d told Ted that the following evening, I would work out and wondered if some of the kids wanted to come along. I knew they got exclusive use of the gym one night a week and I hoped that Kerry would join in.

  Searching the Internet on my mobile, I found a number for a local kickboxing club. I called them to see if I could arrange for a trainer to come and work out with me. Having the phone in my hand reminded me I had some calls to make. I checked my watch to see what time would be in the UK and then dialled. Michael answered on the first ring.

  “Hi, it’s me,” I said.

  “Hello. Are you having a nice time?” he asked

  “Yes, I am. Being with Sam is great right now, but we have to talk. The lease is up on the house next month, you need to call the agents if you want to extend it or give notice.”

  “Why would I give notice? I thought you would have this little holiday of yours and then come back,” he said.

  “No, Michael, we’ve talked about this. I’m not coming back to the house.”

  I took a breath and closed my eyes for a moment, “I’m not coming back, period.”

  “What do you mean you’re not coming back?” he shouted. I pulled the phone away from my ear a little.

  “I’m not coming back, I want to stay here for a while. I can work from here and I can spend time with Sam.”

  “Has he talked you into this? Are you out of your fucking mind, Brooke? Ten years we have been together, why would you throw that all away? Are you seeing someone else?” he asked.

  “No, Sam has not talked me into this, I’m not out of my mind and yes we have been together, on and off for ten years, but not really. Come on, we haven’t had a relationship for a long time.”

  “Are you seeing someone else?” he repeated.

  I sighed, “Yes. Yes, I’m seeing someone,” I said quietly.

  “What, someone in America?”

  “Yes, and that’s why I’m staying.”

  “Do you love him?” he asked. There was a pitiful whine to his voice and I felt terrible.