She shook her head and smiled. “No, the new formula is working wonders. She actually slept for five hours last night. I’m just worried, I guess.”
“Worried her mother won’t come, or worried that she will?”
“Both.”
“I know what you mean.”
She nodded toward the door. “Come in. I’ll get washed up and we can eat. It may be a long night.”
During supper, Ada happily reminisced with Nick about the days when he had worked on their farm. Her mother’s chatter was unusual. Most Amish meals passed in silence. Nick cast several worried glances at Miriam when her mother brought up Mark, but Miriam kept silent. For some reason, listening to talk of her brother no longer brought her the sharp pain it once had. She missed Mark dearly, but listening to her mother’s and Nick’s stories about Mark’s life brought Miriam a measure of comfort. Mark was gone—he would never be forgotten. Not by Miriam and her mother and not by Nick.
When the meal was over and the table cleared, Ada went to bed leaving Nick and Miriam alone in the kitchen. He said, “It’s a nice night, shall we sit outside for a while?”
Miriam glanced at the baby. “Sure. Hannah will make herself heard if she needs anything.”
When they were both seated in the rockers on the front porch, silence descended between them. It was a comfortable silence broken only by the sounds of the night, the creaking of the windmill, insect chirpings and the distant lowing of cattle.
Nick said, “I’m sorry if Ada talking about Mark upset you.”
“She needs her good memories. It’s okay.”
From inside the house, Hannah began making noises. Bella came to the door and barked. Miriam rose from her chair and moved past Nick, but he reached out and grasped her hand. “We all need to hold on to good memories,” he said quietly.
Was he talking about Mark or about his memories of her? How would things have turned out between them if Mark had lived?
It was foolish to wonder such things, yet she did wonder.
His hand was warm and strong as he held her cold fingers. They quickly grew heated as a flush flooded her body. Bella barked again.
“Is there a chance we can be friends again?”
“I don’t know,” she answered quietly. She pulled her hand away and went inside, grateful that she had a few minutes to marshal her wild response to his touch. The simple contact of his hand had sent her reeling with a flood of memories. She remembered holding hands with him as they crossed the creek on the way to their favorite fishing hole. Once, he’d taken her in his arms to show her the way the Englisch teenagers slow danced together. Mark had been there, making fun of her awkward attempts to dance, laughing with them when Nick slipped and fell in the creek and his big fish got away.
They were good memories of a better time. Could she and Nick be friends again? She didn’t see how. Too much stood between them, but seeing Nick every day was helping her heal—something she’d never thought would happen.
After feeding Hannah, Miriam retreated to the cot in the kitchen. She slept in snatches, waking at every creak or groan from the old house. Nick, if he slept at all, lay sprawled on the sofa in the living room. Twice Ada came into the kitchen to check on Hannah and to scan the lane but no buggy appeared. When dawn finally lit the sky, Nick came into the kitchen and began to stoke the coals in the stove. After that, he fixed a pot of coffee.
When he had it brewing he took a seat at the table. Miriam pushed her hair out of her face and joined him. “Now what?”
“We are back where we started from.”
As much as Miriam wanted to help Hannah’s mother, she was secretly glad the woman hadn’t shown up. She didn’t want to give Hannah back. If only there was a way to keep her.
* * *
“Nick tells me you are coming to my wedding tomorrow. I’m so glad.” Amber had arrived for Hannah’s checkup on Friday afternoon. After she had weighed, measured and examined the baby, she turned her full attention to Miriam.
“I didn’t say yes. I said I’d think about it. Mother hasn’t been feeling well, and I don’t like to leave her alone with the baby.”
“Please come. I’ll stop by the Wadler Inn and ask Naomi Wadler to come and keep your mother company. She mentioned wanting to drop in for a visit. Tomorrow would be the perfect time. If someone can stay with your mother will you come?”
“I really don’t have anything to wear.” Miriam still felt strange about her last-minute inclusion. She didn’t know Amber that well, and she didn’t know Dr. Philip White at all.
“That is absolutely the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. You know that I have Plain relatives. My wedding is going to be far from fancy and as long as you don’t come in a bathing suit, I’m okay with what you wear.”
Miriam grinned. “I was just thinking how nice I would look in my teeny-weeny bikini.”
“Is it yellow with polka dots?” Amber’s eyes sparkled with mirth.
“How did you guess?”
“No, you can’t wear that. I don’t want Phillip’s eyes on anyone but me. Nick, on the other hand, will be sorely disappointed when I tell him what you had in mind.”
Miriam looked down at Hannah in her crib. “I’m sure that Sheriff Bradley couldn’t care less about what I wear.”
Amber tipped her head to the side. “I’m not so sure about that. Have the two of you overcome your differences? I had hoped that this situation would help. I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive Nick for his part in your brother’s death. I know Nick as well as anyone can. I know he would never willingly hurt someone.”
Miriam wasn’t ready to discuss her feelings for Nick. “Can we talk about something else?”
“I’m sorry. I was out of line, wasn’t I? Phillip tells me I get carried away in my quests to right the wrongs of the world. Please don’t let my foolish mouth keep you from coming to the wedding. You have to come, if for no other reason than to meet the most wonderful man in the world. I won’t take no for an answer.” Amber gave Miriam one of her endearing smiles.
“If you can find someone to stay with Mother and the baby, I’ll come.”
Amber squealed with delight and hugged her. Later that night, Amber called to tell Miriam that Naomi was thrilled to come and visit with Ada.
The following morning, Miriam picked through the clothes in her closet with disdain. She hadn’t been lying yesterday. She didn’t have a thing to wear that was wedding appropriate. A stay in an Amish household didn’t lend itself to fancy attire.
Although she was sure the bride wouldn’t notice what she had on, Miriam was afraid Nick would notice. He had a way of looking at her that made her sure he could see all the way through her.
After choosing a simple green skirt with a white blouse, Miriam slipped on her favorite high-heeled sandals and went downstairs. Her mother was rocking the baby and humming an Amish lullaby.
“Are you sure you will be okay while I’m gone?” Miriam asked.
“I’ll be fine. Naomi Wadler will be here. She and I will have a nice visit. Do not worry your head about us.”
“I won’t be gone long.” Miriam gathered her purse and car keys from the small table by the front door. Should she leave? She didn’t want to disappoint Amber.
And Nick was going to be there.
The prospect didn’t fill her with alarm the way it once had. Nick was a good man, not the monster she had tried to make him out to be.
“Are you leaving, or are you going to stand there staring off into nothing?”
Her mother’s comment dispelled Miriam’s sober thoughts. “I’m going. My cell phone will be right here on the table. Nick’s number is in it. He will be at the wedding, too. If you need anything, he will get ahold of me.”
“You know that I don’t like that thing.”
Miriam crossed the room and dropped a kiss on her mother forehead. “I know you don’t like it, and I also know that you know how to use it. I’m not worried about you, I’m worried abou
t Hannah.”
The frown left Ada’s face. “She hasn’t been fussy in days. We will be fine.
“Maybe I should stay home. I don’t know that Amber will miss me at her own wedding.”
“You told her you would come so you must go. Hurry now, or you will be late. There will be a lot of buggies on the road. Amber is very well liked among our people and many will want to celebrate with her on this blessed day.”
“Okay, I’ll go, if only to see what her future husband looks like.”
On her way out the lane, she met Naomi in her buggy coming in. That gave her one less worry. Her mother’s
prediction proved true. There were almost as many buggies lining the streets and in the church parking lot as there were automobiles. Inside the white clapboard structure of the Hope Springs Fellowship Church, she signed the guest book and took the arm the usher offered her. She allowed him to escort her to the bride’s side of the aisle.
The church was nearly full. Many of the guests were wearing Amish dress and children were everywhere. Soft organ music filled the air. To her dismay, the usher stopped and indicated a seat next to Nick Bradley.
She looked around quickly, but there wasn’t another empty spot close at hand. Unless she wanted to make a scene by cutting Nick directly, she would have to endure the ceremony seated beside him. Would he be able to tell the way her heart beat faster when he was close?
He scooted over slightly to make more room. There was no hope of finding a seat elsewhere. She graciously thanked the usher, sat down, gave Nick a friendly smile and proceeded to ignore him. What she couldn’t ignore was the rapid rush of blood to her skin. She opened her collar slightly and fanned herself.
He leaned close. “Hot?”
His breath stirred the hairs on her temple and sent her temperature up another notch.
“A little. I had to rush to get here.” Please don’t let him think it’s because of his nearness.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come. You look nice, by the way. Those are cute shoes.”
Cute shoes? What man noticed a woman’s shoes? She gave him a sidelong glance.
“Three sisters,” he said in answer to her unspoken question.
He turned to speak to the person on the other side of him. It gave Miriam the chance to gather her composure and survey her surroundings.
It was her first time attending a service at the Hope Springs Fellowship Church. The inside of the church was simple and elegant with dark, rich wood paneling and brilliantly colored stained-glass windows. Off to one side of the altar, a young woman continued playing the organ. It felt good to be back in church. She had avoided going for fear of running into Nick. Now that her fear was no longer a factor, she was free to worship as
she normally did. The soothing sounds of the beautiful melody began to ease the tension from Miriam’s body. It was then she noticed the sound of muffled crying.
Looking across the aisle, she saw a woman in her late sixties crying softly into a lavender lace hanky that perfectly matched her lavender suit and hat.
Overcome with curiosity, Miriam whispered to Nick, “Who is the weeping woman?”
Nick leaned forward to look around her. He sat back with a grin on his face. “That is Gina Curtis. She is something of a town character. She is very attached to Dr. Phillip. When everyone else considered her a hypochondriac, he correctly diagnosed her fibromyalgia. I think she has been in love with him ever since, but she cries at everyone’s wedding so it’s hard to tell.”
Miriam nodded, and then sat in awkward silence. Please, Lord, let this be a quick ceremony.
The organ music suddenly stopped as the minister and three men entered from a door behind the pulpit. As they arranged themselves at the front, the organist began the familiar strains of the “Wedding March.”
The congregation rose and turned to see a pair of bridesmaids in plum dresses carrying small bouquets of pink roses. Amber, a vision in a simple A-line satin gown with lace cap sleeves and a short veil, started down the aisle on the arm of a short stout man that Miriam assumed was her father. As she approached the front of the church, Miriam saw she had eyes for only one person in the building—the tall man waiting for her beside the minister.
Phillip looked a great deal like his grandfather,
Dr. Harold White, but where Dr. Harold looked distinguished with his high cheekbones and white hair,
Dr. Phillip looked downright delicious. He was movie-star gorgeous with a deep tan, sun-streaked light brown hair that curled slightly above his collar and eyes so blue they looked like sapphires.
She glanced at Nick beside her. He was a good-looking
man, too, but in a rugged way that she preferred to the young doctor’s suave features. When the music stopped, Miriam listened to the preacher’s sermon about the way love allows us to accept the faults of others and how that same love makes us strive to mend our own faults for them.
Amber and Phillip then faced each other for the exchange of vows. When it came time for Phillip to slip the ring on Amber’s finger, he fumbled and dropped it. The ring went rolling across the floor. The minister stopped its flight by stepping on it.
He picked up the golden circle and held it aloft. “My grandmother used to say that something had to go wrong in the wedding or it will go wrong in the marriage. Not that I believe in such superstitions, but let’s all be glad that Amber and Phillip are off to the best start possible.”
The congregation laughed. The minister gave the ring back to Phillip and this time he placed it on Amber’s hand without incident. Everyone applauded when he kissed his bride.
Miriam glanced at Nick. He was smiling—not at Amber, but at Miriam. She looked away quickly, but not before her heart did a funny little flip-flop in response. If things had been different, it could have been them standing together in front of their family and friends. Was he thinking the same thing?
After the wedding service, Miriam descended the steps of the church. Around her, families and friends were gathered in small groups, catching up on the latest news and events of the week. People surrounded Amber and Phillip. Words of congratulations and well-wishes flowed around them. Every one, including Miriam, was happy for them. It was clear they were very much in love.
Rather than join a group, she turned aside and walked along the path that led behind the church to a small footbridge that spanned a brook at the edge of the church property. The source of the clear, small stream lay a short way uphill—the gurgling spring from which Hope Springs had derived its name.
When she reached the secluded bridge, she saw she wasn’t the only one seeking solitude. Nick stood at the far end of the bridge staring upstream. His brow was furrowed in concentration. She started to turn away, loath to disturb him, but he spoke suddenly.
“Do you ever wonder where the water comes from? I mean, I know it comes out of the earth, but before it was trapped underground, it had to come from somewhere.”
“I never thought about it.”
“When I was a kid, I thought the gurgling of the water was laughter, delight at being out in the sun and the air again. It still sounds like that to me.”
She leaned against the opposite railing and looked down at the water slipping over and around stones as it raced away downhill. “I think about where the water is going. It’s just starting its journey. Imagine all the places and people it will pass on the way to the sea.”
The silence lengthened between them. The sounds of the birds in the trees and the gurgling brook were soothing. It didn’t surprise her that Nick was so introspective. He was someone who heard laughter in the sounds of a brook and truth in a little boy’s worried words.
Silence was making her more aware of Nick’s presence even though he stood a good six feet away and outside her line of sight. “It was a nice wedding,” she said at last.
“All weddings are nice, aren’t they? They mark the beginning of what everyone hopes will be a blessed union. To bad it doesn’t always work out that w
ay.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience.”
“I’ve never taken that plunge. I was thinking about my folks.”
“I’m sorry”
“It was what it was. Mom couldn’t reconcile herself to living the life of a cop’s wife. One day, after one of their ugly fights, she told him she wished he would leave and never come back. After he was killed, she couldn’t deal with the guilt she carried.”
“I’ve been told guilt is a useless emotion.” Useless but so hard to put away.
“It’s also a very powerful emotion.”
“Yes, it is.” Reuniting Hannah with her mother would be Miriam’s way of making up for the tragedy she had instigated so many years ago.
* * *
More than anything, Nick wanted to know what Miriam was thinking. He had hidden his surprise when she sought him out. He didn’t want to break the tenuous thread that kept her from running away again. So instead of moving closer, he stayed put, allowing her to control the situation.
His heart ached to gather her in his arms and hold her close. He’d once dreamed of asking Miriam to marry him. Seeing the love and joy in Amber’s and Phillip’s eyes had driven home just how much he wanted to resurrect that sweet dream. Did he dare hope that Miriam was softening toward him? Didn’t her presence here prove that? He prayed God would show him the way to heal Miriam’s heart. His every instinct told him that if he moved one step closer she might flee.
“The sound of the water is soothing,” Nick said, quietly.
“Yes, it is.”
She didn’t leave, but stood listening to the water with him. It gave him a reason to hope, a reason to believe they could repair the love they had once shared. He wanted that more than anything, because he was once more falling in love with Miriam Kauffman.
Chapter Nine
Miriam gave Hannah a kiss on the top of her head before laying the baby in her crib late Monday morning. She had slept for five hours during the night and Miriam was feeling like a new woman after that much sleep. Ada, stirring a kettle of soup on the stove, said, “You are taken with her, aren’t you?”
A Home for Hannah Page 10