“Jas ... No ... Isaac is really playing me. He isn’t doing the relationship lesson break, it’s really over.”
“Charlene—”
“Na, Jas. It’s cool. I have to prepare myself for this; I can’t keep waiting on him.”
“I feel ya, girl ...”
Charlene had told Jasmine only part of the story—that Isaac knew about her multiple partners and wasn’t feeling it. And Charlene didn’t want to go much further. Jasmine knew Charlene would have difficulty getting pregnant, but Charlene had told her it was because of the fertility issue, like she had initially told Isaac.
They hung up the phone after that, since there wasn’t much more consoling to do. Charlene was happy she had called Isaac, because it was during the call that she had seen the reality. The reality was that there was a strong chance that she would be out in the clubs real soon looking for a new man.
Chapter 25
Charlene had really thought she’d outgrown it. She’d thought she no longer needed to run to another man to fill the void, that she had changed and had learned why, for so many reasons, that that wasn’t the solution. She wanted to believe she was a strong enough woman now that she could lean on herself. Apparently not.
Sure enough, after she thought long and hard about it, she called up Rich. At first she hung up after dialing the fourth digit of his number. Then, less than a minute later, she tried again. She got all the way to the sixth digit and hung up. She was debating with herself if she was making a mistake. Not because it wouldn’t be right to do to Isaac, clearly he wasn’t concerned about her or her feelings. She didn’t want to go back into Rich’s world of chaos. Even more, she knew going backward was in the rule book of things not to do. But Charlene figured this would be an exception to the rule. She was in an emergency emotional state and she didn’t have any time to look forward, so backwards it was going to have to be. Besides, she only intended for it to be an innocent conversation for some much-needed attention.
She eventually mustered up the courage to complete dialing his number and on the third ring he answered.
“Hey, miss,” he said, sounding as smooth and sexy as she had remembered last.
“Hi, Rich,” she replied.
“Your man let you free for a second.”
Funny he should ask that, she thought to herself.
“Yeah, I guess he has,” she replied, trying to hint at but not completely discuss the turmoil at home.
“Well, is that good news or bad news?”
“Both,” she said, trying to be as vague as possible.
“Well, does that mean I’m going to finally be able to spend some time with you?”
She hesitated at first, unsure of how far she was willing to take this.
“Yeah ... What you have in mind?” she asked.
Charlene wasn’t sure if Rich felt like a lucky guy that she still thought enough of him to keep a relationship, and if he valued their relationship for what it was. Or if he just thought it was the same old Charlene doing what she normally does—dibble and dabble. She desperately didn’t want to portray the likes of the old Charlene, but the new Charlene was craving the same affirmation that the old one had. She wanted a man to let her know she was good enough, because, unfortunately, she still didn’t know that for sure herself.
“Let’s hang out and get a bite,” he said.
“Sure, come get me ... I’ll be ready in an hour,” she said.
“OK, see you then—and wear something sexy for me.”
“Got ya. See you soon.”
“Bye.”
There was a part of Charlene’s answer right there. Yeah, Rich was figuring that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. He just saw Charlene’s phone call as a booty call. Although a week or two ago that would’ve been the last thing she would have wanted, she didn’t even care. She didn’t care a few years ago, and she was in no mood to care tonight. For the first time in a while Charlene reintroduced herself to her true self and didn’t feel like pretending. So, Team Dream Charlene, a nickname the guys used to call her because she had been with the whole team, was back.
Rich took closer to two hours, and Charlene had almost changed her mind by then. She’d slowly changed into something sexy as Rich had asked and when she looked in the mirror was momentarily disgusted that this effort wasn’t for her fiancé, or ex-fiancé. She put on some tight jeans and a low-cut shirt. She didn’t go overboard, but she knew she was accentuating all of her assets for him.
Charlene was expecting him to call and say he was downstairs and she would have come down. Instead, as she was sitting on her couch awaiting that call, her doorbell rang. When she went to answer it, it was Rich on the other side with his hand hovering over his crotch.
“I got to pee,” he said as he scooted past her and didn’t wait for her approval to enter.
Charlene had only gotten a glimpse of him before he disappeared into her bathroom. That glimpse was enough, though, to give her a little tingle, ’cause as usual Rich was looking fine as wine. He looked like he had just stepped off the pages of GQ. Even doing the pee-pee dance and holding himself he looked irresistible.
Once he came out of the bathroom, he stood in the doorway for a second. Charlene was bent over on the couch putting on her boots.
“Mmmm,” Rich said, being flirtatious.
Charlene giggled under her breath at the perfect opportunity she had given him to go there.
“Why don’t we stay here and order in?” he continued.
Charlene sat up and looked at him.
“You say that now, after I done got all dressed up.”
“So take it back off,” he said.
Rich was on a roll, and she could tell that soon he was going to have them rolling around on some horizontal plane.
“Ha, ha, ha, Rich ... Seriously, I could have stayed in my chill-out clothes.”
“Take those clothes off, then,” he said again with a flirtatious undertone.
Charlene looked at him for a second.
“I’m kidding, Leen ... We can go ... I thought since it’s later and we already here, we chill here. But it’s cool, let’s go.”
Charlene looked at him for a couple more seconds, trying to quickly assess the best option. She wasn’t feeling all that energetic and up to going out, actually, but she knew that if they stayed in, there was more of a chance that this idea would go from her getting some attention to her getting some extraspecial attention.
After she weighed the options, she figured she would take the risk and stay in.
“Fine, let’s stay here,” she said after a couple moments of silence.
“You sure? We don’t have to,” he replied right away.
“No, it’s cool ... Did we know where we were going, anyway?” she asked, slightly laughing.
“Not really ... City Island would have been cool for food but I don’t know where other than that ... We can order in delivery and watch a movie.”
“Sure, call and order while I go change out of these uncomfortable-ass jeans. Can’t be lounging on the couch in these.”
“Just leave them off,” he said.
Charlene headed back to her room, not sure how she felt about their sudden change of plans and all of Rich’s comments. A piece of her knew that he had every right to think it was somewhat appropriate, especially since she hadn’t told him otherwise yet. She didn’t even know if she knew how to assert herself and tell him that it was disrespectful. It was Rich; he would probably laugh at her and ask who she was trying to fool. She decided she wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. She knew she couldn’t deny that she did want to leave her jeans off and call Mr. GQ in her bedroom. The problem was she hadn’t decided if she wanted to go that far, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to disrespect Isaac in such a way or even if it was disrespectful to him. Out of anger, she could easily decide that Isaac shouldn’t mean anything at this point and that she was free to and should go ahead and bang Rich’s brains out. Still, though, she did fe
el bad about sleeping with another man that wasn’t Isaac, and she wondered if this was the very lack of self-respect that got her where she was.
She came back into the living room and he was skimming through the Yellow Pages.
“What do you want to eat?” he asked.
“I’m in the mood for pizza,” she said.
“Dominoes, then, it is,” he replied.
“No arguments or suggestions?”
“Nope ... Your wish is my command,” he said.
“Ooh. I like that,” she said as she sat on the couch beside him.
She wasn’t sure if she was helping to lead things by sitting next to him versus on the adjacent couch, but she did know that the vibe wasn’t saying sit anywhere.
Rich ordered their pizza and then they decided on and ordered a movie. They chose The Break-Up, a movie with Jennifer Aniston that she had been dying to see. She thought it was also a good choice because it was a comedy and it would keep things on a friendly level with some jokes and laughter. Except she forgot what they say about laughter being the way to a girl’s heart.
The pizza had come and gone, and they sat on the couch side by side chuckling, giggling and cracking up laughing. Charlene was more tickled than Rich was, but they were both clearly finding the movie humorous. There was one scene where they were both laughing at something silly Vince Vaughn had done and they somehow leaned in toward each other. Maybe it was the movie about relationships that instantly made her want to get closer to Rich, but either way she had. She had somehow propped herself up on his body, leaving the situation to go any which way. The fact that the movie was about a breakup, one would have thought it would make her break down crying, thinking about Isaac, but it didn’t. In fact it seemed she chose to resurrect a breakup with ol’ Richy boy. Before the next scene began she was kissing on Rich’s neck and he wasn’t making any attempt to stop her. She didn’t know exactly what had come over her or changed her mind, but something had because all of a sudden she was going in.
She had started aggressively fondling Rich as she licked and kissed on his neck and chest, and it wasn’t long before he joined in, exposing her breasts and stomach. They were like two animals, trying to get to each other first until finally Rich gave in and let Charlene run the show. Once he succumbed to her seduction, she continued kissing on his entire upper body, making small circles with her tongue. Once she had covered most of his upper body with her mouth, she began unbuckling his belt to cover more ground. While she continued to kiss and lick down his stomach, with one movement she unbuckled his pants and with another reached in and removed his pipe. She slowly made her way down farther, and began making small circles with her tongue until she started her next technique. The circles she made on his pipe to get it fully erect and moist got it bigger and bigger until she placed the entire thing in her mouth and proceeded to pleasure him.
Charlene looked up and saw that Rich was enjoying his treat, his head was leaned back and his eyes were closed. She was sure he was thinking about how he had missed her many talents. She didn’t want to end it there and she knew if she kept going much longer it would, so she slowed down until she stopped. Then she slowly made her way up on top of him. As she lifted herself up, she removed her loose pajama pants. She had on some lace purple thongs underneath, and she kept her white wife beater on. Once she came eye to eye with Rich, she subtly whispered, “You ready for the ride?”
“Definitely so,” he said back, slightly smirking.
“Keep your hands on the inside and buckle up,” she replied with a giggle.
Although she was giggling, she became serious. She slowly lowered her body back down as she moved her thong over to clear the way, and pushed down to let Rich inside of her. Both of their faces lit up from the initial feeling. It wasn’t that it had been too long for Charlene, it was that Rich packed quite a bit more than Isaac, so to feel that much inside of her was a pleasant reminder of the good old days. They both moaned some and groaned some, as Charlene went up and down like a merry-go-round with her breasts bouncing in his face. She went back and forth, up and down and in circles, making every motion possible so this ride would be memorable for the both of them.
Moments into it, as she started to realize that it could end soon because she knew she was rocking his world, she remembered they should have put on a condom. She was so used to not using one, and Rich was no stranger to her raw insides, either, so she hadn’t thought of it at first.
“Sorry, babe, give me a second,” Charlene said as she leaned over for Rich’s wallet. She quickly removed a condom, which she knew would be there, placed it on his erect and eager penis and got right back on top. Rich couldn’t do anything but laugh at what she had done, and how she just kept right on going like it was nothing. That was his porn star, as he used to call her. Lucky she did that, because about fifteen strokes later, Rich clinched up and grabbed her body as he released his little men and they were all inside the rubber hat.
Chapter 26
Some time had passed, and Charlene hadn’t even cried yet. She had no idea where she got the strength from, but she didn’t break down, not once. Between the girl answering Isaac’s phone and her indiscretion with Rich, she was reminded that her past was only a day or two behind her and never that far away. Emotional Charlene would have had to throw a pity party by now and invite her friends over for it. But not this time. She wondered if she had literally run out of tears in her tear ducts. She did stay up late on a few nights in deep thought, though, running over in her mind all the ways she’d gone wrong and how she could possibly live the rest of her life right.
The night before was one of those nights, but she eventually went to sleep and when she awoke she was in the very same state of mind. She woke up ready to face her new life. She had decided that she was no longer going to go on with high hopes, she couldn’t take any more. It made the pain that much more unbearable because she hadn’t yet tried to trick herself into thinking she didn’t care.
She left the house fairly early and headed out to run some errands. She went to drop some clothes at the cleaners, get her hair done, pick up something for her mother, and then headed home to clean and do laundry. When she got home, she had lost most of her Saturday. She put down her bags, pressed the answering machine button and ran into the bathroom. She started to release her urine as she listened to the first message, which was from her mother thanking her for her help today. The next message was from one of her coworkers, letting her know that she had come in earlier and left some work on her desk. Charlene had started to wrap up in the bathroom when the third message came on. It was Isaac. She damn near flew out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Charlene, It’s Isaac. I’m returning your call. I’ve been real busy, but I know you probably need some sort of closure, so I’ll let you know that I did receive your letter and it’s all cool. I’m not mad at you anymore; I know this is the best thing for me. I hope we both have the lives we deser ve ... I love you.”
Charlene immediately started crying when she heard that. She could hear it in his voice that his feelings were really thought out and he was on to the next relationship.
Charlene took a few seconds to cry her tears out and then she went ahead and called him back. He didn’t answer the phone. She left him a message as well, just asking for him to call her. She was too emotional to express much more; she didn’t want to do that on an answering machine.
She did call Paige, though. She told her all about the girl answering the phone and the message Isaac had left. Even Paige felt Charlene’s pain.
“Leen, however this turns out, you will be fine.”
“I know, I feel so bad. How can I mess up such a good thing? I really did love him.”
“I know. That’s why you should have been honest with him. Love would have endured all.”
“Why isn’t it enduring this, then?”
“Because it’s after the fact. He feels betrayed. After all of these years he finds out something about your pas
t. Most men can’t handle a female that has had too much experience ... But I think with Isaac it has more to do with the baby part.”
“He said before that we would try.”
“That’s before he knew that your chances were as slim as they were, and before he knew that it’s not normal circumstances, that it’s because of an abortion of some other man’s child.”
“It was years ago ... It was a mistake,” Charlene said through her tears. Although she had tried to stop, she had been crying since she heard the message.
“I know, Leen, that’s why I really didn’t think he would be so heartless. I really did think he would be more understanding and get over it since he loved you, but he probably blames you.”
“I guess he didn’t love me enough. I can’t help but wonder if he would of even made me his girl if he knew in the beginning.”
“Who knows, don’t worry yourself about that. All you can know is that he wouldn’t be calling off an engagement over it if it got this far,” Paige said.
“Yeah ... Well, let me go throw some water on my face and get myself together.”
“OK. Want me to come over?”
“No, I’ll be all right. Thanks, though.”
“OK, sis, talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
Charlene did just that, she went into the bathroom and threw some water on her face until she calmed down. Then she sat on the edge of her bed and let her mind wander.
After about ten minutes she got up and went into the kitchen and got some of the Oreo cookies she hadn’t been able to get enough of lately. She went to turn on the television to find herself a good girlie movie to watch instead of cleaning up. After she couldn’t find anything quite sappy enough, she decided to watch her How Stella Got Her Groove Back DVD. She popped it in and went into the kitchen. She didn’t quite know what to make that would be quick and easy, but she did know she had her mind on a sausage. It was frozen and so was going to take some time to fix, but she started making it anyway because she was dying to have one. Once she put the pot of water on the stove to boil it, she headed back to watch the rest of the previews.
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