“Luckily, they did because I don’t think I would’ve been able to take seeing another loser break my baby sister’s heart, and prison orange isn’t my color!”
“He tried to break up with me.”
“Wait, what?”
Josey nodded. “Brett wanted to break up with me because the pressures of what other people felt about our relationship weighed on him. I had to convince him we could defy the odds, and maybe that’s what you need to do with Phoenix and Ashley, too. They need to know that the three of you can manage the rumors and slander.”
“Yeah, but my job…”
“You know what? If you don’t have enough confidence in your ability, aside from your personal life, then I can’t make you know your brilliance.” Josey tossed her hands up and shrugged. “Cee-Cee, let’s examine what you think, not what others think. Do you believe there’s something wrong with your relationship? Is your relationship hurting anyone else? Is it an unhealthy dynamic? Be honest with yourself.” Josey crossed her arms and stood at the foot of the bed, giving her a challenging stare.
“It’s not,” Cee-Cee said defensively. “We are three consenting adults who care about each other a great deal, and to top it all off, we’re friends. What could be harmful or unhealthy about that? They both respect me, and I respect them. To hell with gender normative behavior! Ashley and Phoenix aren’t intimidated by my ambition. You know how hard that is to find these days?”
She huffed and crossed her arms defiantly, and Josey couldn’t hold in her snickers of amusement.
“That’s it! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You know why relationships fail? Because sometimes people stop fighting for the ones they love. Show your boys that you’ll fight for them, and that the three of you deserve each other.”
Cee-Cee blinked. Realizing what Josey was getting at, she dropped her arms and smiled. “I see what you’re trying to do.”
“And, as far as your job is concerned, you’re not in public relations to create a false image of Phoenix. You’re supposed to be putting his best face forward. This is a conservative enclave, but that doesn’t mean we’re all supposed to ignore and be intolerant of differences. Maybe what this town really needs to see from our mayor is that it’s okay to be yourself. There are people literally dying to fit in, and they need that example more than ever.”
“I suppose you’re right,” said Cee-Cee. She stared down at her hands. How to convince Phoenix of that, however? Plus, there was still the matter of Ashley leaving. On the other hand, social media was her life. She knew they’d be able to stay very closely in touch, even if the relationship was long distance for a time. “It’s so much to wrap my head around, so different from how I planned my life.”
“Plans are made to be changed. You think I planned to be a mom at twenty? Yet, as a result of Baby Joe and Hailey, I think I’m more responsible than ever.”
Cee-Cee cringed. To think she had considered her sister the irresponsible one. Thank goodness love and a relationship of her own had taught her not to judge. Josey was a working mother, well on her way to having a degree, a husband and a home of her own. Meanwhile, Cee-Cee—the one who had everything figured out less than two months ago—was trying to figure out where she’d live, how she’d make her relationship work and what to do about her job.
She giggled at the absurdity of the situation. Josey sat next to her and grabbed her hand. “You need your boys, Ashley and Phoenix. Don’t let them go without a fight.”
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.”
“Now, see, that’s what I mean about plans. Nothing is promised. All you can do is try…but I have faith in love. It’s a magic that takes the impossible and makes it perfectly reasonable.” She kissed Cee-Cee’s fingertips.
Cee-Cee wriggled out of her grasp to dig out the cellphone buzzing in her pocket. “It’s Ashley,” she murmured, staring at the screen and smiling.
“Well, don’t just sit there. Go talk to him! I need a nap anyway. Gotta get my rest in while the baby is sleeping.”
* * *
Ashley was calling to see if Cee-Cee wanted to go with him to meet his real father for the first time. After promising Tam that he would go, he had to do it, but his heart thundered in his chest at the prospect.
He had been in town for over a month, and last night Tegan had announced he would have to move on next week. But Ashley Terrence had one last thing to do on this, his final weekend in town. In the hospital elevator on the way up to his Reginald Harold’s floor, Ashley thoughtlessly squeezed his cellphone and shuffled his feet.
His eyes darted around the tight space looking for an escape, but he had to do this. Cee-Cee tugged his pinky finger, slipping her hand around his without a word. He felt stronger for the contact. He gave her a shaky smile. “Thanks for joining me on this. When I agreed to do this for Tam, I had the feeling it would be a piece of cake, but now I’m literally shaking. I can’t believe I’m getting emotional.”
“You can do this. You’re going to be fine.”
When they stepped out on the oncology ward, he took a minute in the waiting room and put together a Snapchat message for his fans. “I feel like this is about to be life changing,” he said.
“It is,” Cee-Cee agreed. She rubbed his back encouragingly.
“I want to preserve the memory. Say hi to the Ashers, Cee-Cee.” He hit record and she waved. “My bae is coming with me to meet my real dad for the first time. Wish me luck.” He flashed a thumbs-up and stopped recording. He added the footage to his story for the day and shot it out to hundreds of thousands of strangers. So many people knew what went on in his day-to-day life, but very few knew what went on in his head.
He was grateful for Cee-Cee. In the past few weeks she had proven a truer friend than half the people he had known his whole life. If he couldn’t have Tam here to walk him through this, she was a welcome substitute. He threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “I wish Phoenix could be here. Where was he today?”
“Meeting with town officials about breaking ground on a new school.”
“Speaking of kids, did I tell you that he did that fundraiser because of his little sister? I ran into his dad at the CTF thing, and he told me Sally has NF1.”
“I had no idea. In that case, I’m doubly glad we booked you.”
They ambled slowly down the hallway, and he read the numbers on the door, and as he got closer to his destination he slowed his walk even more. “Why are hospitals so clinical?” He knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t help himself. He was nervous.
“I dunno.” She smiled. “I think that’s where ‘clinical’ comes from, though. Hospitals, clinics—clinical.”
He snickered. “Oh, god, I don’t want to do this.” He blew out his breath through clenched teeth and tapped his fingers against the side of his leg. She patted his chest.
She didn’t rush him. Cee-Cee had an arm around his waist and walked at his pace. “Whenever you’re ready,” she said.
His head hurt. He wished he didn’t have to do this. He wished with all his heart that someone would hop out and say he had been punk’d and William was his father all along. The stigma of being unwanted hung over his head like a dark cloud, as it had ever since his mother had broken the news to him that he was the bastard son of an American businessman and a paid escort.
“This is stupid, you know? Like…I’m over the fact that my mum used to be a high-priced hooker. Everyone has a past. It could’ve been worse, right?”
She snuggled against him. “Escorts usually just date men. The sex thing is…”
“I don’t want to talk about that. It’s my mum,” he blushed, grinning. She nodded. “No, the part I hate is that my father had to be a fucking deadbeat. The man was wealthy. He could’ve helped. Reginald should have made it easier on my mum.”
She shrugged but nodded. “I understand. I mean, I don’t. I don’t know how you feel, but I empathize. I know this has to be tough for
you.” He stopped in the hallway outside his father’s hospital room door. A nurse scurried past them with a quiet pardon and kept hurrying down the hall. The fluorescent light illuminated the couple as he took both her hands and stared at Cee-Cee.
“I don’t feel anything. That’s the point. I could walk in there, and that man could be dead. Other than sympathy for the death of another human being, I wouldn’t be able to grieve him. I don’t know him!”
“I don’t think your mom expects you to fake a connection with your father that isn’t there.”
“He shouldn’t have made her wait for him. She was his dirty little secret, and he was the promise she shouldn’t have believed in, and I feel…so like them.” He shuddered. Cee-Cee looked into his eyes inquisitively.
“With me and Phoenix,” she deduced. “That’s why it bothers you so much.” She squeezed his upper arm and dropped her gaze. “If it helps, I don’t promise anything.”
He snorted and pulled away. “Come on. Visiting hours are almost closed. Let’s get this over with.” He tapped on the door first before letting himself in.
Whether Cee-Cee realized it or not, she promised everything. She promised to be easy to get along with. She promised to be there with him when he needed her. She promised late night, nonsensical conversations and laughter when he joked and a listening ear when he wanted to try out the lyrics to a new song. Just by virtue of being, she promised to be the girl of his dreams.
She wouldn’t allow herself to be, but there was promise.
“Reginald Harold?” he whispered to the man in the hospital bed staring at a small TV mounted to the wall.
There were wires leading to monitors at the bedside, and he looked frail and unkempt. His hospital gown bloused out from his haggard frame, but his eyes were alert and alive. Grey as a storm but clear. His eyes lit up when he saw Ashley.
“You came,” Reginald said simply. His baritone voice carried, a big voice for such a wasted man. Ashley nervously stepped closer.
“Hi. A flight across the world and a tour bus ride across the country later, I’m here. How are you?”
“Making it,” the old man muttered with a rueful grin. “How are you? Who’s this you’ve got with you?”
Cee-Cee gave a small wave and clung to Ashley’s arm. “This is my friend, Cee-Cee.”
“Nice to meet you, Cee-Cee.”
“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Reginald. We came a long way to spend some time with you. I know Ashley has been looking forward to this.”
“Has he?” A slow smile said he disbelieved her. She shook his hand, and he rubbed his thumb over her smooth skin. “It’s good he has friends like you. I’m glad you came.”
His words were so like Ashley’s that she caught her breath and said nothing.
Silence slipped in. They didn’t know what to say to each other. Ashley swallowed thickly. He saw the resemblance. They had the same flared nostrils and slightly upturned eyes. The same bold chin. Reginald had silvering blond hair instead of his dark brown.
But as he stared at his biological father, he thought about days spent tossing a ball with William. His father had taken him to the beach and taught him how to surf. He had learned how to drive in William’s beat up Ute. William had let it slide the first time he broke curfew and grounded him when he slipped up and did it again.
William had had the sex talk with him and explained girls. William had helped him pick out a tux for the prom and taken him and his mum out to dinner after he graduated from high school. It was William who’d shout for him to turn down his music and get to bed when he stayed up late, practicing guitar. William. That man was his father. This man was a stranger.
He had questions. He didn’t know if Reginald had answers that would suffice. “Why did you leave my mother?” he asked quietly.
In the hush, Reginald nodded and made a contemplative sound. He looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Young,” he answered. “Foolish. Busy. For no justifiable reason. Did she tell you that I knew nothing about you until years and years later?”
Ashley bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. He inclined his head subtly. “I managed without you. She didn’t deserve to.”
“Love is a many splendored thing and a monstrous creature over which we have no control. Neither the giving of it nor the getting. I wish I had been a better man to her, but the truth is your mother was not my destiny. I went on and married someone else. We had a home, a family. She died. My oldest boy…second oldest, I guess…he moved out of state. I don’t hear from him much, but he’s living well, I think. I see that you are too. Big time rock star.”
He chuckled drily and the laughter turned to a coughing fit. His spare frame rattled as he covered his mouth with his fist and hacked into his hand. Cee-Cee quickly reached for the pitcher of water while Ashley helped his father sit forward to open his lung passages. Reginald turned red with exertion, but after an uncomfortable period of painful coughs, he finally managed to calm the spasm. He inhaled shallowly.
“It’s cancer,” he answered the unspoken question.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Cee-Cee sadly. She rubbed Ashley’s back when he tensed at the diagnosis.
“How long?” Ashley whispered uncomfortably. He wondered what his brother was like. He had always wanted a sibling. And what about this man who spoke eloquently and had gentle eyes? What would life have been like with him as father? It was easy to see how his mother might have fallen for such a person. Reginald Harold was not the heartless villain he had expected.
He was a tired old man who had made his peace with his past bad behavior. This trip wasn’t for his father. It truly was for him.
Reginald muttered, “I don’t keep up with the time. I’m here while I’m here. I’ll be gone when I’m gone.”
“How long—Dad?”
“Months, son. A couple of months. I have my affairs in order, both heavenly and earthly. What I wasn’t man enough to do while I had the time will be handled while I don’t. I want you to know that you’re in my will. It’s not much.”
“No, I don’t want anything.” Ashley clasped his hand and dropped into the chair by the bedside. He hadn’t expected to feel anything, certainly not this desire to hold onto Reginald for a while longer. “I don’t need anything. Is there anything I can do for you? I have money. I can put you in a better facility, help pay some of your bills.”
Cee-Cee slipped quietly from the room. He didn’t even notice her go. Reginald shook his head and leaned back against the cool pillow. “I have insurance. I don’t need money. I just wish…you could stay with me a while.”
“Did you love my mother?”
“Oh, I thought she was the sun and moon. Couldn’t figure out how to get the sun and moon home with me. See, I was a low level employee when they sent me over to Sydney, but I’m sure I made her believe I had money to spare. I didn’t. I lived in a one room flat in New York at the time. Could barely feed myself, much less support someone else. And your mother was doing well for herself. She had a quaint little house. She had friends and family. Despite what she did for a living, she was respected.”
“So you left her because you thought it was better for her?”
“I didn’t want her to come to New York and be disappointed in me. Sheer cowardice. There is no justification, and I’m sorry, son.” Ashley nodded. He watched Reginald’s eyes get heavy. The old man blinked and added, “It’s tough, you know? Can’t explain it. The son I was with for a lifetime takes for granted he’s got me always. You never had me. I wonder if you might want me.”
“I’m here, Dad. I’ll stay around while I can.”
“He’s busy, you know? He’d come if he could. Don’t think ill of him, now. Junior reminds me of me that way, too busy for the things that count.”
Ashley wanted to tell him he was busy too. But he wasn’t too busy. He would talk to Tegan. They’d put the tour on hold. Money would be lost, but maybe he could crowdsource. His Asher fans would be more than happy to help
once they heard he had to pause things to be there for his sick father. The man he had never known. He shook his head. He knew how this story would appeal to his fans.
Reginald was asleep within minutes after that, and Ashley exited the silent room to see where Cee-Cee had disappeared to. He found her in the waiting room across from the oncology floor nursing station. “There you are.” She rose at the sound of his voice.
“Everything okay?”
“I’m staying, Cee-Cee. I need to stay in town and spend some time with him.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do? You’ve worked so hard to get your career to where it is. That’s a lot to walk away from.”
“There’s more to life than careers, Cee-Cee,” he scoffed. He wished she understood that. Her career was the only thing standing between them, and he was beginning to hate her bullish ambition. “Let’s go.”
“Yeah, I need to get over to Phoenix. He just called me, sounded upset.”
“What about?”
“That I was here with you.”
“Why would he be upset about that?” Ashley pushed the button for the elevator and glanced at her quizzically.
“Because we didn’t invite him.”
Chapter 27
Cee-Cee and Ashley ambled into his condo, and Phoenix slammed the door. Fuming, he held up his phone. On the screen was Cee-Cee’s Facebook page. She didn’t even know Phoenix was following her. He shouted, “I never check Facebook. I don’t even know who set up a page for me.”
“I set it up for you,” Cee-Cee murmured. “Why are you so upset? And why are you stalking my Facebook page? You could’ve just sent me a friend request.”
“Well, I happened to open it up, and this is what I see.” Phoenix hit play and the video displayed Ashley and Cee-Cee at the hospital.
“My bae is coming with me to meet my real dad for the first time. Wish me luck.” Ashley flashed a peace sign and the shot stilled.
“Have you both forgotten that we went public with you as my girlfriend? Now, you’ll have every tabloid connecting the two of you and ruining everything I’ve spent weeks working for! All these events we’ve been going to together won’t mean anything. That shit’s local and Ashley fucking blabs his business to the whole fucking world!”
MMF BISEXUAL ROMANCE: Phoenix Running Page 21