I was relieved. If something had happened, Megan would tell me. I knew that. We were good enough friends to have each other’s backs, and I knew Cassandra couldn’t keep anything to herself. She would have definitely texted me by now. I’d feel even better once I talked to Kade.
Dad came knocking on our door at ten o’clock and said we were having brunch. I just wanted to get home, but it’s not like I had a choice. I felt a strange sense of urgency that only intensified when I saw Cheryl sitting at a table in the dining room. Seeing us, she waved and we followed Dad and Miss Akin over.
Cheryl wore jeans and a sweater and her slightly longer than shoulder-length hair was worn down. She was prettier without so much makeup, I thought, but she would never be as pretty as my mom. No amount of makeup would change that.
Miss Akin kept the conversation flowing during brunch, mostly about the beauty of Edinburgh. I couldn’t eat a bite. After last night’s dream and the knowledge that Dad had a girlfriend, I had no appetite. I couldn’t say the same about Shane though, who downed his breakfast and then mine on top of it.
When Dad checked out at the hotel desk and said goodbye to Cheryl, Miss Akin put a hand around my shoulder and squeezed. “We’ll be home soon, my dear.”
My irritation must have been obvious. I managed a halfhearted, “Nice to meet you,” to Cheryl when we parted ways in the parking garage.
None of us said a word as we walked to the car and settled in for the ride home.
Dad slipped into the car and he had lipstick on his mouth. Pink lipstick. The same shade as Cheryl’s.
He even started whistling.
My gut clenched.
As he pulled out onto the main highway, I saw him watch me and Shane in the rearview mirror, almost like he was waiting for us to say something about his girlfriend. What did he expect us to say? “Hey, thanks for completely blindsiding us.”
I avoided his gaze, and instead stared out the window. Shane sat beside me, listening to his iPod. We were an hour into our ride when his phone signaled he had a text. He hit a button, read the text, and then he lifted the screen closer to his face. He sat up straighter, glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and then started texting.
Probably a porno picture from Richie, who was rumored to send raunchy pics and videos to his friends’ phones and emails.
I held my phone in my hand, cranked my music and stared out at the passing landscape for the next hour.
When Dad pulled into the inn driveway, I opened the door even before he stopped the car. I already had my backpack in hand, and wished I’d thought to bring my key along so I didn’t have to wait for Dad to unlock the front door. He watched me closely but I refused to make eye contact. I did glance at Shane. His earbuds hung around his neck, and he had pocketed his phone.
Once the door was open, I walked past everyone and ran up the stairs. In my room, I pulled open the drapes and looked out at the castle. My heart pounded hard against my chest. Over and over again the scene from the dream replayed itself in my mind.
Something was very wrong. I felt it in my bones.
I glanced at my phone. No messages, no missed calls. It was nearly three o’clock in the afternoon. Why the hell hadn’t Kade called by now?
I set the phone on my nightstand. I needed to focus on something else.
I thumbed through Laria’s journal, and couldn’t help but wonder why she had suddenly gone quiet. Too quiet.
A knock sounded at my door. I so didn’t want to talk to my dad about Cheryl. “Come in.”
Shane opened the door and shut it behind him. “Hey.”
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, sitting down on my bed.
“I have to tell you something,” he said hesitantly.
Every nerve in my body tensed. “Okay.”
“Richie was at Tom’s party last night…and he said that Kade was with Dana.”
Tears burned my eyes, and I tried to blink them back but failed. In the dream I had seen Dana’s reflection in the mirror. This just confirmed that the dream had been real.
“I’m sorry, Ri,” Shane said giving me a hug. “I know you really like him.”
Actually, I loved him.
I put Shane at arm’s length. “Were they like together-together?”
He winced. “I don’t know for sure, but it doesn’t look good.”
“Look? What do you mean?”
He handed me his cell phone and hit the video play button.
There in full color was Kade making out with Dana. Every nerve in my body tensed. He had her up against the wall in the hallway, one hand in her hair, the other on her ass. I could hear Tom in the background laughing under his breath. No doubt he’d taken the video. “Richie said they went up to the loft right after that was filmed, and didn’t come down for an hour.”
My imagination, or memory of the vision, had to fill in the gaps of what happened in that hour.
“How did you get the video?”
“Richie. He texted me first thing this morning, asking if you and Kade had broke up. I didn’t want to say anything when we were in the car. I didn’t want Dad and Miss A to hear.”
I couldn’t hold the flood of tears back any longer. I was devastated.
“I’m sorry, Ri.” Shane gave me a hug, his arms tight around me. “He’ll be sorry. I guarantee it.”
***
Kade stopped by a little after five o’clock, and I could hear him talking to Shane at the front door.
I almost went downstairs when I heard my dad intervene. A few seconds later the front door closed and I heard a car pull out of the driveway. I didn’t want to talk to my dad about Kade or what had happened. In a way I blamed him for taking me to Edinburgh when I could have been with my boyfriend instead. I was sure Miss A would catch on soon enough, and show up at my bedroom door with milk and cookies.
Milk and cookies were the last thing I needed.
My phone rang. It was Kade’s number. I immediately turned the phone off.
I needed a lobotomy, or anything that would get the image of Kade and Dana all over each other out of my mind. Unfortunately every second of the fifty-four second footage was burned into my memory. There was nothing he could do or say to deny it—it was there for all to see in living color.
Disappointment and anger ate at my insides. I hated the dark feelings waging war inside of me. I was furious, hurt, humiliated, and I wished more than anything I would have been home this weekend.
I shook my head, unable to believe Kade had hurt me so badly. Ian would have never betrayed me. No way, not like this. I took out the drawings of Ian and Kade, my gaze skipping from one to the other. I clenched the drawing of Kade in my fist and tossed it across the room.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and tried to focus on something positive, but there was nothing positive in my life…aside from my friends. But not one of them could make me feel better.
With a sigh, I opened my eyes and saw the matchbox. Laying at the end of the bed. My heart missed a beat. Where had it come from? It hadn’t been there seconds ago.
Do it.
I snatched up the box, opened it. My hand trembled seeing the single, sparkling new razor blade. I craved the release it would give me—knew that the pent-up rage toward Kade, the hatred toward Dana, and the frustration I felt with my father would disappear, if only for a minute.
I walked into the bathroom, and shut the door behind me. Without a second thought, I brought the razor blade to my arm and dragged it across my flesh.
The blood beaded on my skin, and I waited for the familiar release to come.
Instead, as the seconds ticked into minutes, I felt an overwhelming sense of anger and disappointment at myself. Tears burned my eyes. What the hell had I done? I had promised myself I would never cut again.
Cruel laughter filled my ears. A wave of nausea washed over me as I watched the trail of blood drip from my arm, onto the floor.
I was so tired. Tired of life. Tired of everything and everyon
e.
“Riley.”
I heard my name being called, sounding like from a distance.
I tried to open my eyes, but my lids were so heavy.
“Riley, wake up.”
Slowly, I opened my eyes to find my brother standing over me, a look of shock on his face. “No, no, no,” he was saying over and over again.
I blinked, and when I focused on him, he was ravaging through the medicine cabinet. “What the hell are you thinking?” I could hear the anger in his voice.
I understood that. I was angry with myself.
I glanced at the cut, surprised the blood had dried so quickly…or had I passed out?
“I shouldn’t have said anything. God damn it,” he said under his breath.
He was on his haunches beside me, pouring hydrogen peroxide over the wound.
It stung like hell, but I welcomed the pain.
“You told me you wouldn’t cut,” he said through clenched teeth.
“I’m sorry, Shane.”
Grabbing a wad of cotton balls, he pressed several to the cut.
“I don’t know…you might need stitches.”
“I’ll be fine.”
An awkward silence followed, and I watched him work methodically, placing butterfly bandages over the cut. When he was finished, he stood and held his hand out to me. “Megan and Cassandra are downstairs.”
Honestly, I didn’t want to see anyone. I just wanted to lay in bed, and curl into the fetal position. “Tell them I’ll see them tomorrow.”
He nodded, and started for the door, but stopped short. “Things will get better, Riley. You’ll see. Don’t let this beat you.”
Easier said than done. What would he say if I told him the truth about everything? About Laria, and how she had her hooks into both of us.
Chapter 23
The following morning it took everything within me to get out of bed. Of course, I knew Kade and Dana would be the talk of school. No doubt the video had gone viral and everyone knew that my boyfriend was a douche-bag.
“Keep your chin up,” Shane said as we walked through the double doors. He’d kept a vigil on me through the night, and only left my side to get cleaned up this morning. I had tried to make an effort this morning to look good, and maybe remind Kade of what a mistake he had made, but my hair wouldn’t cooperate, so I’d thrown it into a high ponytail. I was pale, and I had circles under my eyes.
I pulled the sweater tighter around me, and took a deep, steadying breath. “Thanks, I’ll be fine.”
“Good girl,” he said, nodding to one of his friends, who flashed a sympathetic smile my way.
And it begins… I thought.
Megan and Cassandra rounded the corner, and seeing me, they rushed my way, concern on both their faces. I was glad they had stopped by last night, and in hindsight I wished I would have talked to them rather than crying myself to sleep.
“See you later,” Shane said, leaving me in the company of my buddies.
“Sorry, Ri. Honestly,” Megan said, giving me a hug.
Cassandra squeezed my hand in a rare show of affection. “We left the cabin before the porno action went down.”
“Jesus, Cass—would it kill you to be a little sympathetic?” Megan said, shaking her head. “You know we would have called you had we seen or heard anything. And I came over last night right after Milo told me.”
“You’re good friends,” I said, meaning it. I was grateful to have them both.
I straightened when I saw Dana standing by her locker, a triumphant smile on her face as she watched me walk by.
I wanted to jump her and rip her eyes out. Instead, I kept my spine straight, shoulders back, and told myself I was better than she was. I refused to play the victim.
“Whore.” Cassandra mouthed the word, flashing Dana the one-finger salute as we walked by.
Just seeing Dana reminded me of the video.
God, I wanted to move back to Portland. Being invisible was better than being made a fool of. I felt stupid, used, and discarded…and I wished more than anything I hadn’t given my V-card to Kade MacKinnon.
Biggest.
Mistake.
Of.
My.
Life.
This weekend had been the worst on record. My new boyfriend had cheated on me, and my dad was seeing a woman and replacing my mom.
Could my life suck more?
I went to my locker, and as I approached I saw a picture taped to the outside.
As I came closer, my heart took a nosedive. A picture of a blonde cutting herself.
“What’s that?” Megan asked.
I ripped the picture off the locker door and crushed it in my fist. What a vindictive bitch. First she’d screwed around with my boyfriend and now she was announcing to the school that I cut.
Megan and Cassandra looked at each other, and I could tell by their expressions that they had seen the picture. I could feel my world shattering into pieces…again.
“Here comes Cait,” Cassandra said a second later.
Cait was alone, her skirts bouncing with each step. She walked with purpose, straight for me, and I knew what was coming even before she opened her mouth. “Riley, my brother needs to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to him.”
She was disappointed. “Riley, I know you’re mad…but please hear him out.”
“Leave her alone, Cait. Christ, you weren’t even there,” Cassandra said, sounding irritated. “Hasn’t she been through enough?”
Turning to Cait, she opened her mouth, then snapped it shut just as quickly. “You’re right—I wasn’t there, but I do believe my brother when he says he thought Dana was Riley.”
Cassandra snorted. “Really? You’re buying that?”
“I’ve seen the video,” I said, brushing a hand through my hair. “I don’t need any more evidence to know it happened.”
“Just please let him explain.”
“What would you do, Cait? What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
“I know it looks bad…but he honestly said he thought it was you.”
In the dream I remembered his reaction when I’d first seen him. Kind of like he was blowing me off. And when I’d touched his face, he’d blinked a few times and reacted completely different. Hadn’t he also asked, ‘What are you doing here?’ like he hadn’t expected me to be there?
I shook my head. What was I thinking? He could have been saying that to Dana, who had a tendency to always show up where she wasn’t invited.
“Cait, I appreciate you trying to make things better, but honestly, right now I don’t care if I ever see him again.”
Cait opened her mouth, but Megan shook her head. “Let it go, Cait. I know he’s your brother and all, but he’s a bloody wanker.”
Johan walked by, and his expression was difficult to read. I remembered him in the dream, the way he’d laughed. Since he figured I’d blown him off this summer, he was probably happy to see me get hurt by Kade.
“I’ll see you guys later,” I said, grabbing my textbook and slamming the locker.
Unfortunately, Dana beat me to first period. She sat in the front row, hands folded on the desk, back arched, cleavage on display for all to see.
“Cutter,” she said as I walked by.
I could feel the blood drain from my face.
I glanced at her friend, the virgin. She wasn’t making eye contact.
I tried to block out the image of Kade and Dana all over each other while laughing their asses off about him taking my virginity. The cutter’s virginity.
Why should I be so surprised? Secrets never did stay buried for very long. I knew that.
Aaron sat down, and he turned to me, caramel-colored eyes intense. He reached out, touched my hand. “Don’t listen to her, Riley. She’s trash.”
I forced a smile I didn’t feel, my gaze shifting to his hand. I saw the tiny scars on the inside of his wrist.
My gaze skipped to his and he abruptly turned back
around.
Dana watched our exchange and shook her head, like she thought I was pathetic.
I would show them all that I could survive this. I was stronger than they would ever guess, and the last thing I would do is let them see me crumble.
***
That strength started to waver as the afternoon wore on. I stayed in the library during lunch, unable to handle seeing Kade. People could call me weak or whatever. I had turned my phone off after seeing the pictures, and with the way I was feeling, I could crush the phone into a thousand pieces.
I had hoped to talk to Peter, but all day my efforts to connect had been unsuccessful. Damn, I could use his help. I needed answers and it was time to pick his brain.
Through the small rectangular window in the library door, I saw Kade approach. I scrambled up from my spot. There was only one other person in the library, a student who worked the front desk. I put a finger to my lips. She nodded as I walked behind a shelf of books.
I could hear Kade asking about me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard the library aide reply, “Sorry, haven’t seen her.”
I kept my head down the rest of the day, ignoring everyone and everything. I heard the whispers about Kade and Dana, though.
After school, I waited for Megan, who had to stay after to speak to a teacher about extra credit for an assignment she’d failed. By the time we walked into the parking lot, I was relieved to see the busses had left and the parking lot had emptied out, except for the athletes and kids in detention. Milo’s van was among those cars.
“Riley!”
It was Kade, yelling for me from near the field.
“Bloody hell,” Megan said, sliding her hand around my arm and picking up her pace.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him walking toward me in long strides.
“Riley, please…I need to talk to you.” I could hear the desperation in his voice.
I nearly broke into a run, but stopped myself short. Why should I run? I hadn’t done anything wrong. I stopped, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. “I’ll be right there.”
“I’ll be at the car,” Megan said reluctantly.
The Haunted Page 14