Don't Feed the Mermaids (The Mermaid Files Book 1)

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Don't Feed the Mermaids (The Mermaid Files Book 1) Page 2

by Tiana LaGrone


  We head out into the street. A motorcycle zips by. I ask Wolfie if he’d mind it if I stop by Tanaka’s t-shirt shop down the street.

  “I’ll wait in the car if that’s all right,” Wolfie says. “I’ve got to make a call.”

  “Fine with me. Just don’t take off and leave me.”

  Wolfie laughs. “I would do something like that, but I wouldn’t do it to you.”

  “You bet not,” I yell behind me. I book it towards the t-shirt shop because it opens early. The owner works in the back making the t-shirts first thing in the morning. I need to ask her for her a favor.

  I pass a small alley. I see someone posted up next to an open dumpster. I can’t make them out. They’re wearing a hoodie. A long paisley printed skirt covers their legs.

  When I get to the shop, I pull the door open. “Tanaka!” I yell.

  Tanaka and I met at the gym. She’s a nice chick and makes the coolest t-shirts you’ve ever seen. She also sells her shirts online and she makes a killing.

  I scream her name again.

  Tanaka peeks her head through a door. Her black hair is dripping wet.

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” she says. “I was in the shower.”

  I text Wolfie and tell him I might be a minute.

  Wolfie texts back and says it’s fine. If it gets too long, he texts, he’ll come in. I’m not sure if I should be grateful or not. Things have been a little weird between Wolfie and me ever since he tried to kiss me.

  The door jingles. Must be Wolfie. I turn around and I take a hard blow to the face. I hit’s so hard, I hit the floor. My head spins with pain. My vision blurs a little. My eyes feel on fire.

  “Agent DuBois. Nice to see you on this fine fine morning,” the person from the alley says.

  I hold my hand to my face. I want to go for the small gun in my boot, but I need to be cautious with every move.

  Suddenly, the person from the alley morphs into a sea witch that I know. She calls herself Valerie when dealing with humans. I know her M.O.

  Valerie pushes the hood off of her head. Her tentacles spread out underneath her long skirts. A few of them are long enough to almost reach me where I huddle. I scoot back. I hate sea witch tentacles. They shock, they suck, the sting, and they’re slimy as fuck.

  “You think you can just go around arresting my sisters and brothers. Sending them upstate to Alcatraz and there’d be no consequences. We make our living with our abilities and you surfacers do nothing but punish us for it.”

  I hope to goodness that Tanaka’s hearing all of this. The last thing I want is for her to get involved in all this.

  I start to reach for my boot.

  “Move a muscle and I spit acid in your face,” Valerie says.

  The hit to the face is at least starting to wear off. I only need to figure out how to get ahold of my gun. Since we’re not in water, my abilities are limited, but there’s one thing I have access to. That’s my voice.

  I sing a song my mother taught me when I was a little girl. It’s a song for bullies.

  “Stop!” Valerie roars.

  During the time it takes for her to spell a protection film over her ears, I grab my gun out of my boot. I pull the trigger and I don’t stop. I load the entire clip into her. Valerie falls.

  I run over to Valerie and make sure she’s dead. Tanaka peeks her head out of the door. “Is it over?” She asks.

  “Yeah, it’s over.”

  If I tried to count on my hands and feet how my sea witches hate my guts, I’d run out of digits, but Valerie is Kismet’s sister. She came to get her revenge, but she failed.

  I call Wolfie, tell him what happened. It’s not long before Tanaka’s shop is swarming with bureau agents.

  “Thanks for saving my life,” Tanaka says. “Who knows what she might of done if you hadn’t stopped her.”

  “I’m a hero” I say, cracking a smile.

  Tanaka pushes me playfully. “Shut the fuck up and come see me in the back.”

  I whisper to Wolfie that I want him to keep the other agents from the back of Tanaka’s shop and I follow her.

  “What you got for me?” I ask.

  “A case of H3, that’s what I got.”

  Tanaka hands me the box. H3 is a supplement hybrids like me can take to shift our DNA to take on our more human qualities. The stuff works good. At least I guess. My brother is right. There are a lot of surfacers who hate mermaids. If I’m ever going to start a family, then I need to make sure that my children come out one hundred percent human, so that they have a chance at survival in this world.

  Ever since Dr. Hiyoki, the famed alchemist caused a shift in the earth that revealed the portal to the underlands, things have been bad for mermaids, sea witches, selkies, kelpies, and whatever underland creatures exist.

  “How much do I owe you?” I ask.

  “A thousand,” Tanaka says.

  I reach into my bag and I pull out the cash. I could have sent her the funds electronically, but I don’t want the funds to be traced from me. H3 is illegal.

  If I lose my job, no more H3. I know Goldman’s not kidding about firing me if I get involved with my brother’s case, and if I lose my job, I’m going to have to figure out another way to make my money.

  “Be careful with the stuff,” Tanaka says.

  “Will do,” I say and I follow Tanaka back into the body of the shop.

  “Hey everybody, buy a t-shirt,” I say.

  Bureau agents swarm around, taking pictures of Valerie’s dead body, collecting slime samples from the ooze her tentacles left behind. And hey, some of them do buy t-shirts. I don’t blame them. Tanaka has skills.

  Chapter Three

  O’ Donnel’s is a bar right around the corner from Wolfie’s apartment. We’ve hang out there after almost every shift, going over our days work.

  We ride over there in his Camaro now. Usually, I drive myself. The sun rides along with us, peeking in through Wolfie’s sun roof.

  “Seriously Wolfie. I don’t know how you stand squeezing your big ass into this car.”

  “It makes me look cool,” Wolfie says.

  “I guess, if scrunched up mofo is the look you’re going for.”

  Wolfie turns around and frowns at me. He reaches into his center console and grabs his sunglasses.

  “Wow, Wolfie, seriously?” I ask.

  Wolfie’s sunglasses are big circles with yellow reflective lenses. “Costume party at O’Donnell’s all day today,” he says.

  “Shit,” I say, tugging on my t-shirt, I don’t have a costume.”

  “Shame on you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me it was costume party day at O’Donnel’s.”

  “Because I knew you wouldn’t give a fuck,” Wolfie says.

  I fucked up the costume deal, but at least I’m out of the office. The office gave me the heebie jeebies, what with Chief Goldman stomping around being a jerk. It’s on this day, in this moment, that I finally admit to myself that I want to punch that woman in the face sometimes.

  Wolfie knows me. He doesn’t mention the situation with my brother during the entire ride over. Once we get to O’Donnels, Wolfie parks in the parking lot of the bar. His house is so close, he could have parked there, and we could have walked over to O’Donnel’s, but I have a feeling that Wolfie’s trying to get me to the bar quick.

  It might have something to do with the fact that he’s trying to repair our relationship after the attempted kiss debacle. Or it could mean, he’s being a good friend and trying to get me liquored up as soon as possible.

  Either way, I get it, and for either reason I’m open to going straight to O’Donnel’s, but there used to be a time when Wolfie and me would park at his house and walk over, so it’s obvious that things have changed, and change makes me uncomfortable—like seeing my gung-ho mermaid brother walking around with a pair of legs.

  Don’t get me wrong, Wolfie’s not bad looking, so that’s not why I turned him down. But he isn’t my type. I don’t exac
tly know what my type is, maybe a mermaid with aquamarine eyes and white hair is my type. And if so, that means I’m in trouble.

  But also with Wolfie, I’d prefer us to keep things platonic. Too bad, I didn’t keep it platonic with the guy who used to have Wolfie’s desk before him. But that’s another story for another time, or never.

  Wolfie goes into his trunk and pulls out a wig and a gold chain, a cane, and a hat, along with a purple velvet jacket.

  “And just what are you supposed to be?” I ask.

  “A pimp,” Wolfie says with a smile. He tips his glasses down and his green eyes catch the sun. He pushes his glasses back up. “Now come on. Let’s get you a drink. You’ve had one hell of a day.”

  “You’re telling me. It was a disaster,” I say.

  “You worried about your brother? Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be?”

  “You know me and my brother have a strange relationship,” I say as we make our way through the door. The inside of O’Donnel’s is paneled with wood. Glass signs decorate the walls along with pictures of famous people. “In all the times I’ve come in here, I’ve never seen not one famous person.”

  Wolfie clears his throat. “Well, you’re about to see one now. See that guy over in the corner?”

  “Yeah, what about him?” I ask. I glance at the guy. He has dark hair and big black eyes. His mouth is so pouty it almost seems unnatural for such a mouth to be on a real person. “Oh my goodness. Isn’t that North Villa? I thought that guy was missing.”

  “Guess he’s not missing anymore. What a coincidence he’s here,” Wolfie murmurs.

  North Villa makes eye contact with me. I look away. Then I look back. He waves at me and fans me over.

  “What does he want with me?” I ask Wolfie.

  “What do you think?”

  “His sister, right? And my brother, the accused murderer. Great. And how did he know how to find me?”

  “You want me to come along?” Wolfie asks.

  “That’s okay,” I say. “Head on over to the bar without me. Order me a rum and coke.”

  “Rum and coke it is.”

  “Sailor Jerry’s, not that other stuff,” I say.

  “Got it,” Wolfie says.

  I make my way through the crowded bar over to North Villa. I sit down.

  “Wow,” North says.

  “Wow, what?”

  “You’re more beautiful than your pictures on the internet.”

  I rake my hands through my hair. “Uh, thanks?”

  “And that hair. Gorgeous. Have you ever thought of doing hair commercials?”

  “No way,” I say.

  North shrugs. He’s more handsome in person than he is on t.v.

  “I bet you know why I’m here.”

  “I’m sorry about your sister.”

  “Me too,” North says. “I figured by the way you responded to my waving you over that you knew who I was, the movie star part of me anyway.”

  “Yeah, two and two. You’re famous yeah, your sister’s murder is at the forefront of my mind. Say, how did you know I’d be here just now?”

  North Villa cracks a grin. “Well if I tell you that, then I’d have to kill you.”

  “Not funny.”

  “I promised that I would not reveal my source. Is that okay? I pride myself on my loyalty.

  “Fine, let’s get right into it. Your brother was going to marry my sister as some sort of push towards unity. How did you feel about it?”

  North pokes his lips out. “Actually, I didn’t feel anything because I didn’t know about it.” North Villa leans back. “I mean, I had no idea. The bureau told us that they had a suspect in custody. That’s all they would say. I didn’t know he was your brother. I also didn’t know your brother was engaged to my sister. What I did know is that you interrogated him. And I know that he’s the prince of the House of Mermaids”

  “Did your father know about the engagement?”

  “No. I don’t think so, although my father and April were pretty tight.”

  North Villa’s eyes are red. I assume that he’s been crying for his sister. His lashes are extremely long. I try not to admire them too much.

  I figure it’s possible that his father got angry and took his daughter out over her rebellious plans to marry my brother.

  “So Mr. Villa, what can I do for you?”

  “Well, I’d like you look into something for me.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t think your brother killed my sister.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes,” North says.

  I think I like the guy already.

  “I’m sorry, do you mind if I head over to the bar, order myself a drink and come back over and sit down? We can continue the discussion then.”

  “I can flag the waitress down for you if you want. What are you having?”

  “No, no, it’s fine,” I say. “I’ll order the drink myself. I came here with my partner. I need to chit chat with him about something anyway.”

  I get up to leave and North touches my hand. “Sorry, but can I ask you one question before you go?”

  “Shoot.” I don’t move my hand.

  “Are you really half mermaid?”

  “Yes,” I say, “Why?”

  “Only wondering.”

  “How did you know?”

  “An article I read about you in the Daily Supernatural mentions it. Funny it didn’t mention that your brother is the prince of the House of Mermaids.”

  “Ah, right. Yeah.”

  “Okay, go ahead. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  I head over to the bar. I punch Wolfie in the arm.

  “What’s up? Ready for that cocktail?” Wolfie asks without flinching. I know my playful punches feel like sweet taps to Wolfie. He lowers his glasses up and down.

  I reach out and grab his glasses by the sides. “Stop that. Did you call North Villa here and tell him that he ought to talk to me.”

  “Fuck no, why would I do a thing like that?” Wolfie asks. “I hate that guy.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s too pretty.”

  I look over at North Villa. And yes, he sure is pretty. “Well, he says he doesn’t think my brother killed his sister and he wants me to help him find out who did.”

  The bartender is back in Wolfie’s face. She’s smiling, twirling a cherry stem around in her mouth. I guess she’s trying to tie a knot in the stem. What she should be doing is wiping off the bar. It’s covered in spots. I guess there’s no use in me crying over spilled drinks, if that’s what caused the spots. Could be spilled magic potions, slime from the slimers, or puke. Who knows.

  I want to lean on the bar, but I don’t because it’s just way too freaking disgusting. “Come on, Wolfie. Tell me. Did you call him or not?”

  “No,” Wolfie says. “Serious. She’ll have a rum and coke, Ginger. This girl needs a drink.

  A clown costume drowns Ginger’s thin figure. She usually shows every bit skin she has on any other day. She’s a succubus and let her tell it, she has no time for subtlety.

  I wait for my drink. Then I carry it back to the table. It’s still early morning, but I need to get to the ocean for a swim. Without a dip in the sea, I get sick, even haggard looking. I don’t have to live in the ocean to stay healthy, but I do need my daily dose of sea water.

  It’d be awesome if I could order some ocean water and have it delivered to my apartment. I’d pour it in my tub and take a soak. Going back and forth to the beach can be a pain in the ass even though I live and work near the beach.

  I sit down next to North. I realize his glass is empty. “Can I get you something?” I ask.

  “Nope, I’m good. I think I’ve had enough,” he says, rubbing his eyes.

  My boots are getting tight because my body is starting a swell a bit. It happens when I don’t get my swim, even with steady doses of H3. The H3 takes years to work. There’s nothing instant about it. I hope in the next ten years I’
ll be squared away. Even though I can have a baby well into my hundreds with no problems if I stay a mermaid, if my body shifts to human, I won’t have much time to have a kid.

  My stomach growls. I blush. “Sorry about that.”

  North raises his hand and waves Ginger over. I guess it’s a super star thing. Usually, people go up to the bar to order stuff. Ginger rattles over. I hear honking.

  Ginger giggles. “Sorry, it’s my shoes,” she says.

  “You have horns in your shoes? Wow, you’re taking the whole clown thing quite seriously, aren’t you?” I ask.

  “I am. I love clowns.”

  “But do they love you? That’s the question?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never laid a clown. I don’t get anything out of them. They have no essence, but I do like to look at them.”

  I smile.

  “The lady here would like a…,” North says. “What will you have?”

  “Crab cakes,” I say.

  “Crab cakes. Got it,” Ginger says, adjusting her colorful wig. “And for you, Mr. Villa? What can I get you?”

  “I’ll have the same.”

  “Cool. Say, I really like that last movie you did with Denver Wallace. So good! You know the one, right, Willow?”

  “Uh, no,” I say.

  “Thank you very much for the compliment,” North says. “Fun times making that movie.”

  “I bet,” Ginger says. “Anything else guys?”

  “One of those clown wigs,” I say.

  “Sorry. I only have one.”

  “I’m sorry Ginger, I’m being an ass.”

  “That’s okay,” Ginger says. She heads back into the kitchen.

  “So what’s with that wig anyway?” North asks me as soon as Ginger is gone.

  “Costume party.”

  “So tell me, will you help me find out who killed my sister?”

  “Tell me this? You’re supposed to be missing. What’s up with that?”

  North laughs. “Yeah, I went for a little trip to Mexico. I didn’t tell my manager. He overrated.”

  “Oh,” I say. “You might want to tell someone you’re back.

  “I’m telling you,” North says.

  The bar door swings open. A tall woman enters. I notice right away it’s Chief Goldman. She’s pretty aloof, so I don’t think she sees me tucked in the back with North, at least not yet. There’s folks everywhere of just about every variety possible, besides full-blooded mermaids of course because they don’t have legs.”

 

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