A sheepish grin spreads across Wolfie’s face. “At home, waiting for me in bed.”
“Aren’t you lucky.”
“Seems to me, you’re lucky too. Now, you have something to tell me. I saw those scrolls on your coffee table. I’m wondering how you got those and how this Collin cat got here? I mean the guy walks like he’s not used to having legs.”
“Whelp, Wolfie. Turns out Luis Dubois isn’t my pops after all.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, I know. Also turns out that not one part of me is human. The whole time I was straddling two worlds trying to get accepted as human because the mermaids weren’t going to accept me, and I was living a big fat lie doing that too.”
Wolfie sniffs. “So, uh if you’re not half human, then what is your other half?”
I sigh. I don’t want to tell him. Wolfie was there by my side taking out sea witches left and right, even if he didn’t want to, he did his job. Dude’s been slimed down on the regular, and frustrated with all the identity changes and such that sea witches can do.
It’s funny, we’ve dealt with sea witches and their shape shifting ways a million times over. It just never occurred to me think that Kismet had swapped out identities with another sea witch, not the first time and the second time.
Usually, a sea witch swaps out identities if they’re caught and they’re trying to get away. Usually, they take on the identity of a cop or a guard or something like that. But Kismet and her sisters had thought the whole thing out ahead of time. I guess that’s what makes them so terrible.
I mean, they premeditated the whole bit. They came up with their own morality which was to take advantage of humans while looking out for one another.
It’s scary that someone could think so lovingly of a sibling and then turn around and murder someone else’s sibling like it’s no big deal.
Wolfie’s staring at me like I owe him something.
“Okay, so, check this out. My dad is this sea witch guy named Rasmus.”
Wolfie howls. “It’s just so…it’s just so wrong. But, if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to right.”
“And the guy in there, that’s Collin. He used to be a mermaid.”
“So you used your sea witch powers to turn him human?”
“Yes,” I say.
“You know that’s illegal right?”
“I know. Are you going to turn me in?”
Wolfie stands up. “Not now. Maybe I’ll save this little tidbit of information to blackmail you later.”
“Some friend you are,” I say. I get up off of the floor, leave Wolfie, and peak around the corner at the end of the hall. Collin is spread out on the couch. I have to admit that he sure is sexy, but not the snore. He can keep the snore. He snores way too freaking loud.
When I go back into the hall, Wolfie’s standing by the door.
“Show me your tentacles,” Wolfie says.
I smack Wolfie on the arm. “Eww, no way. You might as well say show me your tits, and we both know that ain’t happening.”
“Too bad,” Wolfie says. “About the tentacles.” He grins.
I smack him again on the arm. “Keep talking and I will show you my tentacles. Then I’ll slap you with one some. Maybe probe you with some others. You how slimy tentacles are.”
“I hope this Collin guy knows how gross you are. Maybe I should warn him.” Wolfie moves to go towards the living room.
I stop him. “Seriously, Wolfie, thanks for being there for me, man,” I say.
“Are you kidding?”
“All right, all right, enough with the mush fest. Go home to Ginger.”
“Office tomorrow?”
I smack my forehead. “Right, I was supposed to head downtown to see the new office.”
“Be there in the morning. Ten o’clock sharp. We have a few clients.”
“On your hustle grind then. Good.” I touch my forehead. I have no idea what the future holds. Makes me nervous.
“Don’t worry,” Wolfie says. “It will all work out.”
“I hope you’re right,” I say. I open my front door for Wolfie.
“Goodnight, Long hair don’t care. Show up tomorrow, okay, I have a surprise for you.”
“Night Wolfman Zack.”
I close the door. I strip. I feel utterly disgusting. When I go back into the living room to check on Collin, I find him still fast asleep.
In my underwear and bra, I grab a couple of huge trash bags from the garage, grab some duct tape, and get to work on the patio doors that Amy, the super golem, blew out with her rage. I guess this will have to do for. If someone wants to come see me, I grab ahold of my gun and reload the clip. fuck it, I grab the entire box and carry both the gun and the box of shells up stairs with me.
Collin’s a big boy. He had that sea witch by her tentacles like Chief fuckula had me by my hair in the parking lot at the bureau. I laugh thinking about that. If I had unleashed my sea witch on her, bitch woulda been out.
I turn on the shower and climb in under the warm water. I close my eyes and let the water run over head.
Chapter Twenty-Two
In the morning, I make Collin breakfast. “Slow down bro, or you’re going to choke,” I say.
“I doubt it. I’ve been eating my whole life, it’s the walking, I’m not used to,” Collin says.
I riffle Collin’s hair.
He leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “I know one thing you do well with your new equipment,” I say with a raised eyebrow.
Collin smiles.
I love that smile. I could look at it forever.
“So what are we doing today?” he asks.
“Going to work.”
“Work huh. What kind of work? Kicking ass and taking names?”
“Yeah, maybe. I don’t really know,” I say.
My cell buzzes. I grab it. Guess who is. It’s Luis Dubois.
“Chére?”
“Luis?”
“So you met him, ah?”
“I met him. Thanks for not telling me my real father is a creepy sea witch. And fake father is actually my brother.”
“Ah, yeah, sorry about that. So I take it you’re not happy that you met him?”
“No, you can take it that I’m not happy that I was lied to my whole entire life either.”
“You’ll have to take that up with your mother and father Chére.”
I clear my throat.
“There’s still someone I want you to meet,” I want you to meet,” Luis says.
“Oh, is there? Thought I already met that someone. I thought your were referring to Rasmus.”
“Nope. Someone else.”
“Oh no,” I say. “No more secrets. Who is this person. Don’t tell me now that mother is not my mother.”
“No, I ain’t going to you that. Can’t tell you who they are before you meet them, though Chére. Let the dust settle. Have fun with your boyfriend. You will meet this someone in time.”
I groan. “Please tell me, Luis. Who is it.”
“You say my first name way too casually. You been storing that up?”
“No, Chére,” I say, mockingly.
“I love you, Chere. Anyway. I’m still your brother.”
“I love you too, Luis.”
I end the call. I have no last name now. Luis took my last name.
I cut my eyes at Collin. He doesn’t have a last name either. Oh well, what’s in a last name?
I clean up the breakfast dishes while Collin flicks through the television, then we get reacquainted again, and then I get dressed for work.
Collin begs me to teach him how to drive. There’s no way I’m doing that right now. My nerves are fried to the gills. I park the car in front of the address Wolfie sent me.
Casey shows up, wings flapping. She interrogates Collin all the way up to the seventh floor where our new office is.
Collin’s annoyed by her, I can tell. He’s loose with me, and that’s only been recently again, but that very uptight side he reserve
s for most people is basically back in full effect for Casey.
Casey could care less. “Man, it must be weird to have a whole new different set of equipment. I can’t even imagine,” Casey says.
The door to our new sweatshop has a small frosted window. When I see it, I think immediately of those frosted glass windows that say Private Detective on them in the movies. Ours doesn’t say anything.
I knock on the door. Wolfie answers. “Brought the whole crew with you?”
“Yep,” I say.
“I’m tired of being treated like the third wheel,” Casey says. “Hopefully I will be accepted now as a part of the team.”
Wolfie and I say no at the same time.
“So what do you think?” Wolfie asks me.
“Not, bad.”
I take in the file cabinets, four desks, a large window, and another door. “What’s in there?” I ask pointing at the other room.
The main office door swings open. At first we’re all on alert. I mean for all I know, Kismet has another sister. But it’s nothing like that. It’s Femi.
“Femi, what are you doing here?”
Ginger is behind her. Ginger waves and smiles at everyone.
“Don’t even,” I say to Ginger who’s already checking Collin out. “Leave that succubus stuff outdoors.”
Collin’s looks at Ginger. Since he’s not a mermaid anymore, he’s not impervious to Ginger’s succubus powers. I’d pop him upside his head if it wasn’t my fault that he’s looking. After all, I’m the one who gave him legs.
“I’d turn it off if I could,” Ginger says.
Femi throws her arms around my neck. “Thanks for the job,” she says.
Casey runs to a desk and sits on top of it. “I call dibs on this one. I deserve it after all that work I did yesterday at ULA searching for a friendless girls friends.”
“Did Wolfie show you yet?” Femi asks me.
“Show me what?”
Wolfie moves over to the door belonging to the other room I had asked about a couple of seconds before. “Come on,” he says. He throws the door open.
I go in and I see it. “Uh, what’s this?”
“Oceanwater tank.”
I approach it. It’s a tank all right. It has a lid on it and everything. It even has an anchored seat inside. “Thanks, Wolfie!”
“What? You don’t like it?”
“I love it,” I say, stroking the glass. “It’s pretty if not a little weird. Perfect throwing pies at my face and dunking me.”
“Hey, don’t give me any ideas,” Wolfie says.
“Thanks, Wolfie,” I say. Really he has done a great big favor.
“We have work to do,” Wolfie says. “I can’t have you running to the beach every five seconds to get your fix.”
“Man, you’re some kind of slave driver,” I say.
“So are you,” Wolfie says.
I think we’ll leave that up for debate.
After we chit chat about the tank and the office, I go into what happened last night. I explain to everyone the deal with Kismet and her sisters and all that.
Then I take a deep breath and I get it all out on the table regarding my sea witch status.
“Can I see your tentacles?” Casey asks with a grin.
“No way,” I say, shaking my head. I’m glad I left the scrolls in the car.
“Why not?” Femi asks. “I bet they’re bad ass.”
I roll my eyes. “I bet they’re not. Besides, I can’t right now. I don’t have the instructions.”
Collin puts his arm around my waist and pulls me to him. “I saw them in the car.”
“Who’s side are you on?” I ask.
Collin laughs. “Do it for Balthazar,” he whispers.
“Fine,” I say. “Let me run to the car.”
“I’ll come with you,” Casey says.
We ride down the elevator. “Can you believe it?” I ask Casey?
“I know. You’re a sea witch.”
“I really don’t want to change into one. I’ve always thought they those tentacles were gross.”
“You need to embrace your true self,” Casey says. “Stop being so superficial. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
“Un huh, what if I don’t want to embrace my true self.”
“You have to or else you’ll be living a lie.”
I guess Casey’s right. Living a lie sucks. I’ve already done enough of that.
I grab the scrolls from my car and we ride the elevator back up to the office.
I find the part in one of the scrolls pertaining to to masking spells.
“Maybe I should do this in the tank,” I say.
“Be my guest,” Wolfie says.
I go into the tank room. I climb inside. Feels nice. I think I can get used to it.
According to the scroll, since the power is within me, I only have to recite these words.
“Reveal, reveal, the person be, what ever words I say to thee. Sea witch.”
My limbs tingle, and then my bottom half explodes into tentacles. It’s a bit like farting at the dinner table, at least that’s what it feels like to me.
Everyone claps. I look down. I frown. At least I’ve got my friends.
About the Author
Contact Tiana here:
www.tianalagrone.blog
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Don't Feed the Mermaids (The Mermaid Files Book 1) Page 13