As anticipated, she stopped me when I mentioned the previous night. In all honesty, I didn’t have the energy to discuss it, either. Hanging out with her and Maddie was sufficient. As usual, we had a blast.
As I was heading back outside, the slamming of a car door caught my attention. Peering through the front window, I saw Shannon and freaked. Storming out the door and practically running toward her, my temper flared out of control.
“Do you have any idea what he could’ve done to her?” I screamed, not caring if my neighbors heard.
“What the hell are you talking about?” she barked back.
“Right! You didn’t know Kevin went after BC! How fucking surprising!”
“Joe, I swear to you, I didn’t. What happened?”
“You need to get the fuck out of here and out of my life! You never fucking belonged here in the first place!” By her facial expression, she wasn’t sure whether to be hurt or furious. “You’re a coldhearted, manipulative fucking bitch!”
“I-I thought you were different.”
Never once had I seen Shannon sad. Upset? Yeah. Pissed? Definitely. Happy? Occasionally. Horny? Unfortunately. But genuine sadness was a new one. For a second, I was thrown off balance. Then the look in her eyes warped into pure hatred. As soon as I saw who it was aimed at, all the sympathy I’d briefly felt vanished. It didn’t even temporarily reappear when my dog knocked her off her feet and muddied her clothes. BC escaped before anyone uttered another word. When Maddie noticed, she quickly followed.
I held out a hand, offering to help Shannon off the ground. “Fuck you!” She got up on her own, brushing at her clothes. The smudges got worse instead of better. “Now I’m going to be late. Thanks a lot, asshole!”
Where she had to go wasn’t my problem. “Are you okay?”
“Like you care,” she groaned, wiping her face on the cleanest spot of her sleeve. I didn’t, but figured asking was the right thing to do.
“Shannon…”
“Don’t, Joe. I stuck up for you where my brother was concerned. I cared for you. I put everything into this.” She motioned to the two of us.
“You and I both know this…” I mimicked her action, “was a bunch of shit. I used you in the same way you used me.” I refused to let her interrupt. “I know damn well you’ve been seeing the guy from work Kevin busted a while back.” Her face fell. Did she really think pulling that shit on a cop would fly? I got paid to be observant. “You’re on your own now.”
“Joe…”
“There’s nothing else to say.”
“Please, don’t tell him,” she begged.
“What you tell or don’t tell your brother is none of my business. Besides, you’re the one who went and bitched to him.”
“I didn’t mean for him to find out anything. He overheard me on the phone and flipped.”
“Guess you should be a little more mindful of your surroundings before opening your big mouth then.” I walked away. She called my name, but I didn’t turn back.
BC was sitting in the grass off to the side of the patio, Maddie beside her. When she heard me, BC’s eyes locked with mine. “Joey, I’m so sorry,” she choked out, standing.
“What the hell are you apologizing for?”
“I should’ve stopped Maddie. I didn’t mean for her to–”
“Buttercup…” I cringed because she felt the slightest bit bothered by anything to do with Shannon.
“Why would you think it was your fault?” Jack getting involved wasn’t always ideal. He pulled out a chair, making himself comfortable. “Besides, that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.” Laughing to himself, he rested his head back, looking at the cloudless sky. “Man, I wish I had recorded that. Maddie, you have to tell me this shit ahead of time.” The dog wagged her tail, looking at him.
“You’re not helping,” I growled at my older brother.
“What’s there to help? Considering how shitty Shannon’s always been to her, Maddie’s actions were completely justified. If you ask me, the whore got off easy.”
“Mud is baking into my skin.” The disgusted face BC made while surveying her arms was priceless. Unable to refrain, I chuckled. “Do you want help giving Maddie a bath or not?” she snapped.
“Yes, please.” If experience taught me anything, it was when to shut my mouth.
Having an extra set of hands for the tedious task of scrubbing mud chunks out of Maddie’s thick coat proved tremendously helpful. How she managed to get it buried so deeply in her fur was beyond me. BC took it a step further and brushed her before the last rinse. We almost made it without getting completely drenched, but while the water trickled down her back one more time, Maddie shook, knocking the hose loose from my grasp. It sprayed all over BC, making her scream like a little girl. In spite of the shock, she grabbed the nozzle and spun it faster than I could react, drenching my clothes. In retaliation, I reclaimed possession of the hose, held BC in place, and saturated her hair. She fought to escape, but I didn’t release her until she was soaked head to toe. Any excuse to keep her close was a good one.
BC didn’t object when I sent her in to shower while I cleaned up. She brought Maddie inside with her so she wouldn’t be tempted to play in the puddles we created. Once the soap suds were rinsed off the patio, I rolled up the hose and straightened the chairs on all sides of the glass table. The second I finished, Jack came out to offer assistance.
“So everything’s good with you two?” His curiosity bugged him. It was the first chance he could ask without BC there.
“It’s fine.”
“Fine? You’ve been together all afternoon and the topic hasn’t come up yet?” Sometimes my brother was a condescending asshole.
“It did, but…”
“But what?” he prompted, getting impatient.
“She didn’t want to talk about it.”
“And you accepted that?”
“Why do you care?”
“You’re running out of time. In less than a week, she’ll be heading back up north, and you’ll be here all by yourself.”
“Says the eternally single asshat who has suddenly forgotten how to mind his own fucking business.”
“My situation is completely different.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You and Brielle are just…supposed to be. Everyone knows it.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You’re an idiot,” Jack growled, irritated. “How do you think Aidan figured it out?” For the most part, BC and I were careful to keep our distance. “It doesn’t take much thought, Joe. There’s this crazy energy between the two of you that gives away your complete history. It’s so obvious, it’s ridiculous. You don’t even have to be near one another for it to exist. Think about it. You’ve been apart all these years, but the second she’s back in town, the spark is rekindled without any effort on either end. That’s some real shit. You can’t fake that.”
“You need a hobby. One that doesn’t involve me.” I knew what he meant, though. I felt it, saw it, craved it. The worst part about the whole damn thing was not only did I know how amazing it was to have, I also knew how fucking awful it was to lose.
The door slid open, alerting us both to BC’s presence. Wearing one of my navy PD shirts tied at her waist, along with a pair of basketball shorts rolled from the top, she was still gorgeous. How she pulled that off, I had absolutely no idea.
“Hey.” She knew she had walked into a serious discussion. “Um… My mom is out and about. She’s going to swing by and pick me up.”
“You don’t have to go,” I assured her.
“I know, but Lex made me promise to keep Mom busy so she wouldn’t be lonely.”
I smiled. “Your mom needs to cut the damn cord. Lex is a married woman now.”
“That’s what I keep saying,” BC sighed. Jack cleared his throat and went inside. “What’s his problem?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” She seemed uncomfortable, like she nee
ded to say something. If that were the case, why the hell was she leaving? “I’ll give you a call tomorrow and let you know about your car.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Please just fucking tell me whatever it is you want to say! “So I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Thanks for helping with Maddie. Trying to bathe her on my own is not fun.”
She grinned. “I can see why.” Her phone chimed and she glanced at it. “Mom’s here. I’ll, um… I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah.”
After watching her walk away, I went inside and got cleaned up. I relaxed on the couch for a while with Maddie before turning in for the night. It was the earliest I’d gone to bed in a long time. Thank goodness for the exhaustion because I passed out fairly quickly and didn’t wake up until the following morning. Unfortunately, it was one of those days I wished I would’ve never gotten out of bed.
I arrived at the station a half-hour before my shift started, but Pop thought it’d be best if I didn’t work. I promised him my temper was under control, but the only responsibility he gave me for the day was taking BC’s car to get fixed. He’d already spoken to a friend of his who owned a body shop and said he’d have the parts by two. I convinced Pop to let me swing by the school and show my face for a few hours. Didn’t he realize it was harder for me to deal with shit if I wasn’t doing anything?
By late afternoon, the car was just like new. Not only did the mechanic replace the taillights, but he also checked it over for anything else it may need. Surprisingly, BC kept the car well-maintained. It was only a couple years old, but he said it appeared to have been taken care of properly. Before, she wouldn’t have even thought to get the oil changed. Back then, her dad took care of everything most of the time without her even knowing.
From the shop, I went home to change, then headed over to the Watson’s. Rich wasn’t around, and Barb was relaxing on the couch, reading a book. She glanced up when I came in.
“Hello. How was work?”
“Boring,” I grumbled.
She smiled. “I’m very happy when you have a boring day, Joe. That means you’re safe. Brie’s upstairs.”
I twirled the keyring on my finger. “I figured she’d want her car back.”
“Unless you plan on driving her everywhere she needs to go.”
I winked, backing from the living room. “I’d have no problem doing that.”
“I’m sure.”
BC’s door was open, so I stood there, watching her on the phone. Her eyes locked with mine, as if she’d been waiting for me to get there.
She spoke into the phone. “I’m going to have to call you back.” Her lips molded into an almost bashful smile when she hung up. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I crossed the room and lay across the bottom of her bed. She sat with her legs folded underneath her and leaned on the pile of pillows. For the first time since she left the previous night, I felt calm. Whatever it took, we were going to have to figure our shit out. I needed her in my life.
The drive from Joey’s to my parents’ stretched on for an eternity. Mom noticed something was up, but didn’t press for information. She knew it wasn’t the right time.
Once inside the foyer, Mom continued toward the kitchen, but I stood there, unable to move. Not quite sure what to do, I sat down on the floor, my back resting against the wall. Mom instantly came to sit beside me. My head leaned on her shoulder, and she put an arm around me, kissing my head.
“You realize I’m an old woman and getting back up is going to be a real struggle, right?” I placed my hand in hers. “Do you want to talk about it?” she whispered. I shrugged, not really knowing where to begin. “It’ll make you feel better to get it out.”
“I messed up,” I uttered.
Mom giggled. “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
“With Joey.”
“Ah. Well, now that we’re on the same page, please continue.”
“How is it possible to still be in love with someone you haven’t seen in years?”
“The heart doesn’t stop wanting what it wants just because you distance yourself from it. Tell me something. Were you ever able to truthfully say you loved Aidan?” I shook my head. “My point exactly. Keep going.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this when I got home.” I sighed, frustrated.
“How do you mean?”
“I assumed he’d hate me, completely ignoring my presence. Or, even better, he’d be an ass towards me.”
“You wanted an excuse to pretend you didn’t care for him as much as you do.”
“Deep down, I suppose.” I stretched my legs out, crossing my ankles. “Instead, the arrogant bastard welcomed me with open arms, and what do I do? I fall right into them. How does this shit happen to me?” She stayed quiet. “It feels like I never left, but what’s worse is now I don’t want to go.”
“So don’t.”
“I have to, Mom. It’s not like I’m a kid with no responsibilities. I have a job and a mortgage to pay.”
“And?” she prompted.
“And what?”
“It’s not uncommon for people to change jobs, or to sell a house and move. So what else is there?”
“Mom…”
“Brielle, everyone knows something happened. You don’t just up and leave the one you love as quickly as you did for no reason, then spend nearly seven years avoiding him and your family. What was it? Someone else? It’s understandable. Things happen when you’re lonely and missing somebody special.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“There once was a time you told me everything without this much effort.” First, my mom thought I was a cheating whore, then she was trying to guilt me into confessing? Great!
“I know, but Joey wouldn’t be the only one hurt by the truth.”
“Sweetie, if you don’t stop playing games with me, I’m going to have your father take you out into the garage and go over every part of the car in full detail.”
“Wow. Don’t pull any punches or anything,” I groaned. “I’m asking you to let it go. I don’t want to do this right now.” She cleared her throat. “I can’t take it back once it’s out.”
“I’m aware of that.” Was she really going to make me tell her? “The thing is… I feel I failed you as a mother.”
“What? That’s ridiculous.”
“From the moment the nurse placed you in my arms and I looked into your eyes, I vowed my one and only mission for the rest of my life would be to make sure you were happy, healthy, and safe. I swore there was no one else on the planet I’d ever trust enough to help with that, other than your father. Then came Joe Sullivan.” I glanced up to see a smile on her lips, but a tear falling down her cheek. “I never once questioned his love for you, Brie.”
“Mom, we were friends for over a year before we started dating. And we were kids.”
“Even at that young, I don’t think you and Joe were ever simply friends. As your mother, I was extremely glad you saw it like that, though.” She chuckled. “Sometimes, you get lucky and find the other half of your soul sooner than others do. In my opinion, it was the strong bond you guys developed during the first year that solidified it. Trust me, no parent in their right mind would admit their young teenager has any idea what love is. The thing with you and Joe was I don’t believe you did. You were just right for each other. Through the years, everyone began to see what we already knew. Don’t get me wrong. You were and always will be Daddy’s little girl. There were plenty of times your father threatened to bury him in the backyard.”
“So Dad would’ve gone to jail,” I joked.
“Don’t ever underestimate the love a father has for his child.” As she spoke, the color drained from my face, my body slumped, and my heart throbbed with an incurable pain. I wished Mom had missed it, but she didn’t. “Brie? What is it?”
After a very large, deep breath, I began the story from the night at Donnie’s house, ending it where the nurse sat on my hospital b
ed, holding my hand as the doctor delivered the bad news. As expected, Mom’s tears fell freely. The wall around my heart held strong. I remember somebody at one point explaining how much better things would’ve been if I had told my family, but watching my mom sob and feel totally helpless because she didn’t have the ability to change the outcome was exactly why I decided against it. I held it in so she didn’t have to experience the pain and torment of losing something so precious. The fact that I was young, in college, and not in the best position to bring another human being into the world didn’t change the sadness of the situation.
“Why didn’t the hospital notify me?”
“Because I didn’t want them to. I was twenty years old. They had to respect my wishes. I think it was one of the residents who called for a psych evaluation. They tried any excuse they could come up with, but I won every argument.”
“I wasn’t there when you needed me,” Mom whispered.
I hugged her tighter. “It was my choice. I didn’t want any of you to feel this way. If I would have called, you would’ve been there.”
“You are so damn stubborn, Brielle. I blame your father’s side of the family.”
“No one in this world is more stubborn than you, Mom,” I whispered.
“I know,” she confessed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too.”
“I can’t imagine going through that with everyone by my side, let alone on my own.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it exactly the same way.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she understood.
“And Joe?”
“Joey knows nothing.”
“Don’t you think you should tell him?”
I sighed. “Do you remember that time in high school when someone made a comment about sleeping with me and Joey got suspended?”
“Like it was yesterday.”
“That was just an immature comment from a random nobody. Whether or not the fall caused what happened, what do you think Joey would’ve done to his cousin?” She gasped. “That’s why I couldn’t tell him. He was well on his way to following in his dad’s footsteps. He would have lost everything.”
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