She gave her head a quick, violent shake. "No… it's okay. I understand." Her voice sounded thick.
He touched her face, drawing his fingers down her cheek. "Then what is it? What's wrong?"
"Zack," she said faintly, "did you say… I heard you say…"
"Yes? What?" Suddenly his heart was pounding in a way it never did after a race. He began to wonder if something was wrong with him-if maybe he was getting old.
"I heard you say two people… Did you mean… that you love me?"
He could only stare at her, overwhelmed. "Are you crazy?" he muttered brokenly.
She slowly nodded, still gazing into his eyes as if transfixed by something she saw there.
"Of course I love you!" His emotions were erupting again, in a way some might have considered unmasculine. He snatched his hand away from her face and gestured wildly with it, so overcome by his need to touch her, to crush her in his arms, that he didn't trust himself to do so without hurting her. "When I think… about losing you-When I thought about you down there in that water, sinking… When I thought of you dying in that water, when you-"
"Zack!" Her eyes were suddenly round and full of light. Her hands were on his arms, holding him tightly, shaking him. "Zack, I wasn't afraid! I just realized that. I wasn't-not in the same way! I was scared, yeah, but the way anyone would be. It wasn't… terror, like my nightmares! Zack, I'm okay, I'm really okay!"
"Yeah…" He took a deep breath, dashed moisture from his cheeks, and shook his head, smiling at her through a blur. "You sure are. More than okay."
"Zack." She was shaking him again. "I've got to tell you something, something wonderful-"
"Lord, I hope so. You'd better be telling me you love me, too, or I'm liable to be taking a walk off the end of this pier!"
"Oh, that too. Of course I lo-"
"What do you mean, 'that too'!" he said with a growl, just before he lost his grip on his self-restraint and dragged her into his arms.
"No…" She was shaking her head frantically, bracing her hands against his chest, and smiling. Laughing. Crying.
"I love you, Zachary, and I have wonderful news for you. You won't believe it. Just wait until I tell you!"
When, a few moments later, Zack let go with a whoop of pure joy, there was no one to cast him more than a glance of mild curiosity. The crowd had dispersed, gone back to Frisbees and sparklers and picnic baskets. If anyone thought it the least bit odd that he suddenly gathered the two people he loved most in the world into his arms and hugged them, laughing and crying at the same time, he couldn't have cared less.
Theresa," Zack said some time later. "Maddy and I'd like to ask you something."
They'd decided, in spite of everything, to stay for the fireworks. They'd promised Theresa fireworks; they'd never hear the end of it if they didn't stay. So they sat sandwiched together for warmth, waiting in suspense for the first skyrockets to burst across the darkening sky. Theresa was between Maddy's knees, Maddy between Zack's, with his arms around them both and the blankets wrapped around all three of them. Maddy's purse and its precious contents lay on the blanket beside Maddy's feet.
Theresa tilted her head and said agreeably, "Okay."
"How would you like it," Zack said slowly, pausing every couple of syllables to touch his lips to Maddy's ear, a process that was causing waves of warm shivers to cascade down her spine, "if you could come and live with Maddy and me?"
Theresa was silent for a minute, considering. "That would be good." She swiveled her head to look up at Maddy. "You mean like, you'd be my foster parents 'stead of Dottie?"
"No," Zack said. "I mean we'd be like your real mom and dad. You'd live with us… forever."
"Oh." Theresa's head swiveled back. She looked out at the empty sky and shrugged. "I don't think I can." Her voice sounded sad.
Zack looked at Maddy, Maddy looked at Zack, and they both shrugged. Zack cleared his throat and asked carefully, "Why not?"
"Well, cause I have a real mom and dad already. They're in heaven. So nobody can't be my real parents."
Maddy held her breath. She felt a tremor ripple through Zack's chest, but couldn't tell whether it was laughter or something else.
"Well," Zack said, and rested his chin on the top of Maddy's head. After a moment he cleared his throat and went on. "I have a real son, did you know that? His name is Josh, and he's in heaven too. Now, if Maddy and I adopt you, you'll be our real daughter. That's what the law says. So if we can have another real kid, it seems to me you could have another set of real parents."
Maddy felt the pressure of Zack's lips on the top of her head and tilted sideways to press against his shoulder. They both waited tensely while Theresa turned the logic of that over in her mind. After what seemed like forever, they felt her head move up and down.
"Okay. Then it's prob'ly all right."
"Well, okay, then. It's settled." Zack lowered his mouth to the curve of Maddy's neck. She felt his slowly expelled breath like a warm caress. Both the big, solid body against her back and the small, thin one in her arms seemed very still and subdued.
After a while Theresa tipped her head back and asked, "Where would we live? Maddy gots a house, and so do you. I like Maddy's house-you can open up the ceiling and see the sky-but she doesn't have a swimming pool, and I don't think she has enough beds for everybody to sleep in."
"Hmm," Zack said. His voice sounded suspiciously quivery. "That is a problem. How's this? Maddy can keep her house for a special place to make puppets, and you can all come and sleep at my house." He touched his lips to Maddy's ear and whispered, "Okay?"
"Okay," she whispered back, her voice breaking up into laughter.
"That would be good," Theresa decided. "Will I get any brothers and sisters? Real ones, not foster ones, like Vickie Frownfelter."
"Oh," Zack murmured, sending silky shivers down Maddy's neck with his breath, "I think we could probably manage one or two…" She turned to look at him. "Or more. You never can tell." He shrugged placidly as he settled Maddy firmly against him and prepared to field Theresa's next question. It came after another thoughtful silence.
"Will I get a gramma and grampa? Real ones? I've never had a gramma and grampa before."
Zack nudged Maddy, who nodded and held up two fingers. "Yep," he said. "Complete set-two of each."
"Only two?" Theresa's head tilted upward. "What about Dahlia? Can't she be my gramma too?"
"You can ask her," Zack said. "Wouldn't be a bit surprised."
"Okay," Theresa said with a satisfied sigh. "You know what? I think it's gonna be all right!"
"Me too," Zack said, and ruffled her hair. Then he wrapped his arms across Maddy's chest and whispered, "How about you?"
"Well," Maddy said, "I do have one question. I hate to ask-it seems so crass-but I just keep wondering…"
"What?" he mumbled, obviously trying very hard to be serious.
"Well, you keep telling me you just sell sporting goods. I don't mean to question your veracity-after all, you are the man I love and have every intention of marrying. But Zack, I really would like to know how you intend to support this family of yours, especially all those brothers and sisters you promised Theresa!"
"Hmm," he said, sounding severe. "This'll teach you to question your husband's veracity. I will have you know that I do, in fact, sell sporting goods. Ever hear of-"
" London 's!" she said, sitting upright and turning in his arms to stare at him. "Oh, my… word. That's you? London 's Sporting Goods? I don't know why I didn't make the connection. I always thought that meant the city. Is that really you?"
"Us," he corrected her, hauling her back into his arms.
There was a thump and a low whistle, followed by a muted explosion. Star-bursts lit up the summer sky and cascaded down like sparkling rain.
Theresa cried "Oooh…" in wonder and delight, and then, with triumphant glee, "Maddy, I see Zack kissing you!"
Maddy erupted into helpless giggles.
"Get used t
o it, squirt," Zack growled. "Real parents do that a lot!"
As he reclaimed Maddy's mouth, skyrockets exploded again, some of them in the sky…
KATHLEEN CREIGHTON
***
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Still Waters Page 17