by Karis Walsh
“Jimmy, you can’t run away like that,” he said, his voice obviously laced with worry. “I’m sorry. He saw the horse and took off.”
“It’s okay,” Rachel said. She held the boy up so he could pat Bandit’s neck, while she kept one hand tight on the reins so the horse couldn’t reach Jimmy with his teeth. Bandit stood quietly, however. “I was explaining to him that he shouldn’t run in front of a horse, like he wouldn’t run in front of a car.”
“Thank you,” the man said, taking his squirming son from Rachel. “I saw the new barn out by the ferry landing. So we’ll be seeing horses in the park from now on?”
“Yes,” Rachel said. Cal recognized her cop voice. Strong and assured. Approachable, but in charge. She was relieved not to hear any trace of hesitation or self-doubt even after Rachel had been berated by her superior. Cal exhaled in relief. Rachel would be okay. “We’ll be patrolling in the park and along the waterfront this summer.”
“Glad to hear it. My dad told me stories about how he used to ride out here when they had a livery stable. Years ago,” the man said. He carried Jimmy over so he could pet Ranger as well. The horse nosed the boy gently.
“We’ll have to plan an open house some weekend this month,” Rachel said as she mounted Bandit again. “So everyone can meet the horses and their riders.”
“We’ll be there, won’t we, Jimmy? And I’m sure my dad would be thrilled to come, too. Thanks again, Officer.”
Rachel waved and then turned to Cal. “It’s bigger than I am,” she said. Cal frowned, not quite sure what she meant.
Rachel struggled to explain what had been racing through her mind since she had run away from the stable yard. “When Hargrove assigned me to this unit, all I could think about was how it would affect me and my career. My reputation. I’ve wanted the team to succeed and be safe, partly for them, but mostly because I thought it’d make me look good. Maybe help me be part of this department again.”
Rachel squeezed her calves to ask Bandit to walk, aiming him toward the trails on the far side of the fort. She let her reins hang loose, and Bandit ambled along with his head low. Rachel noticed Cal wasn’t quite as relaxed on Ranger even though the horse was quiet. She probably expected Rachel to run off again at any moment.
“When she was yelling at me today, all I could think about was my career again,” Rachel continued. “It’s as good as over, although someone seems determined to prolong its demise. I don’t know why I’m still in charge of this unit when I seem to be the one person best suited to destroy it. No one wants to listen to me, I don’t have enough knowledge to train them, and no one above or under me has any faith I’ll succeed.”
“I do,” Cal said. “You’re doing an excellent job training those horses, and—”
Rachel stopped her with another wave of her free hand. She used the other to guide Bandit onto a path leading down the bluff and toward the Sound. The carefully maintained trail was wide enough for the two horses to walk side by side. “But don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. I can do the impossible and get these officers trained enough to patrol on the Fourth without killing themselves or anyone else, but it won’t make a difference. My lieutenant will still hate me. My team will still disrespect me. Everyone on the force who knows I got this job without the right qualifications will still resent me.”
“I’m sorry,” Cal said. She leaned over and squeezed Rachel’s hand. “I wish those jerks had stood up for you today. Or that you had pulled out your Taser and zapped that bitch.”
“I was tempted,” Rachel said with a smile. She kept her hand loosely twined with Cal’s for a few moments, soothed by her touch. Relieved to have at least one person seek contact with her when everyone else seemed determined to push her away. She finally let go and gestured down the hill.
“The livery was down there. And sometime I’ll show you where the old mounted police stables were. We’re part of the history of this park now. The history of this city.”
The trail ended at the pebbly stretch of Owen Beach. Rachel steered Bandit along the water’s edge, where the footing wasn’t as deep, and headed toward the marina. She looked around and sighed. The two bridges spanning the Narrows were behind her and Mount Rainier was barely visible in front. She loved it here. The green hills of Vashon Island and Brown’s Point across the Sound. Huge tankers edging slowly toward the Tideflats. The murky half circle where the Puyallup River emptied into Commencement Bay. And, even more, she liked having Cal here beside her. The only person who stood by her side. Not for long, since she’d be leaving soon. Moving away. But for now she was here, and Rachel had to enjoy her while she had the chance.
“So what changed?” Cal asked when Rachel had been silent for several minutes. “You sound so calm now, but you were so upset when you ran away. I didn’t know what you were going to do.”
Rachel shrugged, unable to explain how her mind had changed as she had ridden deeper into the park. She always thought more clearly out here. “I realized it’s bigger than I am,” she repeated. “That little kid, his dad, his grandfather. This unit is important to them and to the rest of the city. We’ll be able to keep people safe in places like the park where it’s not easy to have officers on foot or in cars. And we’ll be a liaison between the department and citizens. People love seeing horses around their town. Talking to us, visiting the animals. For kids like Jimmy, this might be the only opportunity to touch animals besides dogs and cats. And what I did last night. Maybe it was stupid, and maybe Hargrove had every right to yell at me in front of everyone, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that Alex Mayer’s killer is found. And Randy might not be citizen of the year, but he and Clare sure don’t deserve to be punished for someone else’s crime.”
“So what are you going to do?” Cal asked as she steered Ranger around a pile of driftwood. “Give Hard-ass Hargrove your resignation? Or tough it out because the city needs you?”
Rachel turned away from the beach and skirted the parking lot, avoiding the more crowded areas. “I’ll stay until the Fourth. Do my best to get everyone through the night alive. Then I’ll try to lateral to another department. Maybe Spokane or Cheney so I can be closer to my parents. I can’t spend the rest of my career alternating between being invisible and being used for target practice.”
“They’ll miss you,” Cal said. “They might not say it out loud, but I really think they will.”
Rachel gave her a halfhearted smile. She didn’t think Cal was right, but she didn’t care enough to argue. The only person she would miss—and the only person she wanted to be missed by—was Cal herself. And there wasn’t much chance of that happening. She turned at the ferry landing and headed Bandit up the steep hill toward the police yard. He slipped on the pavement, and she turned to more practical matters with a sense of relief. “I called your farrier, and he’s coming out next week,” she said. “He’ll take care of the horses’ shoes so we can start riding out as a team.”
Chapter Eleven
Cal was surprised to see the unit’s officers actually doing constructive work when she and Rachel rode through the gate. Clark and Don were trotting around the arena while Billie struggled to ride a bicycle through the deep tanbark. She circled the horses and rode up behind them, ringing the bike’s little bell. Cal had to admit, she was impressed. Bikes were definitely something a police horse would face on the Tacoma streets. Sitka and Fancy seemed relaxed even when Billie rode directly in front of their faces.
Cal wanted to call them over, force them to apologize to Rachel. She didn’t know why she felt so protective of her, but it was not a feeling she was accustomed to having. Rachel was certainly strong enough to take care of herself, but Cal had been allowed to see her softer side. The part of Rachel that felt hurt when she was treated so badly. Cal hurt, too, for Rachel. Because Rachel stood alone, with no one else by her side. Cal was rooting for the underdog, that was all. It didn’t mean she cared for Rachel.
Okay, maybe she did. But after listening to her tal
k during their impromptu trail ride, seeing and hearing the quiet conviction in Rachel’s voice, Cal felt shallow in comparison. Rachel might have been looking out for herself when she was first assigned to the mounted unit, but now she was on a mission. Protector of the city. Defender of the innocent. Cal admired her and would do anything she could to help her, but Rachel’s attitude adjustment only highlighted the differences between them.
Everyone was watching Cal, as if waiting for her to set the tone for the rest of the afternoon. Rachel sat perfectly still on Bandit next to her, and the rest of the team—Don and Clark on their horses and Billie straddling her bike—hovered near the arena fence. Cal decided the best thing she could do for Rachel was to proceed with the lesson as planned. Business as usual, with no mention of Rachel’s chastisement or her subsequent flight.
“Billie, come get Ranger,” she called. “And the rest of you make a big circle here on the gravel. Clark, did you bring those flares?”
“Sure did. They’re in a box in the tack room.”
Cal brought four flares out to the parking lot. “We need to get the horses used to these in case you work an accident scene. Horses are instinctively afraid of fire, so they’ll really need to trust you if they’re going to override those instincts and not run away. Once I light this, start walking in a big circle around it. Gradually move closer if you feel them relax.”
“I think Alex might have done this with the horses when we weren’t around,” Don said. “A couple mornings I noticed scorch marks here in the parking lot.”
If Alex had worked any of the horses around flares, Cal had a feeling it’d be Ranger. He apparently hadn’t skipped any steps in the handsome Thoroughbred’s training. Ranger had been easy to ride in the park today, he was comfortable around people and traffic, and he hadn’t batted an eye at any of the desensitizing objects Cal and Billie had put in front of him. She couldn’t understand why Alex hadn’t even seemed to bother with the other three. He had spent hours giving the officers riding lessons, so time hadn’t been an issue. And they were willing to learn. Yes, he’d have looked good on Ranger in comparison with his bungling unit, but his reputation as the team’s sergeant and leader would have suffered at the same time.
Cal lit the flare and set it in the center of the circle of riders. Sitka and Bandit snorted loudly and backed away from the smelly red flame. Fancy’s entire body stiffened as she stared at the flare. And Ranger walked quietly forward when Billie nudged him with her heel. Completely unconcerned, of course.
“Turn Fancy to the right, Don,” Cal said, forcing her attention off Rachel who was stroking Bandit’s neck and cooing softly to him. “It’s best to keep her moving.”
“Good, Don,” she said when he finally coaxed Fancy into a walk. Soon all of the horses were calmly circling the flare. “Let’s reverse and walk the other way. Remember, horses process visual information through each eye separately, not together like we do. When we’re desensitizing them to any object, it’s important for them to see it from both sides.”
Billie was able to walk Ranger close to the flare, and the other horses, as was typical for herd animals, followed his lead and relaxed. Maybe Alex had been planning this all along—train Ranger thoroughly, and then use him as a steadying influence on the others. Unlikely. Cal figured it had more to do with ego than with a grand training scheme.
Completely the opposite of Rachel’s approach. Cal watched her inch Bandit closer to the fire-breathing demon. He arched his neck and flared his nostrils, but he didn’t fight Rachel’s control. Cal could see that most of Rachel’s attention was on her own horse, but she was also aware of the other riders. Cal knew Rachel would be out here tomorrow morning, working each horse through whatever issues she had noticed in them the night before. She wouldn’t let her team suffer even though she was suffering in her exile from the police community. Because, as she had said on their trail ride, she really believed the unit and its duties mattered more than her personal misery.
Cal, on the other hand, lived only for another championship, another shiny trophy, another one-night stand. Rachel had stopped their kiss last night, had refused to have sex with Cal, because they were so different. Cal had agreed. She wanted fun and the freedom to move on when it suited her. Rachel wanted love and loyalty. But now Cal could see the gulf between them was much deeper. It had nothing to do with what they wanted, but everything to do with who they were. Deep inside, where it counted. And Cal was more discomfited by the comparison than she cared to admit.
Dusk was settling over the park as Cal set out another two flares. The lesson had started later than usual, but she was glad to have the deepening gloom during this exercise because the flares stood in sharp contrast to the dark shadows outside the circle of light. The acrid smell of smoke and the hiss of the flames coupled with the scary nighttime world gave the horses and riders a very small taste of what they’d encounter on the Fourth of July. Very small. The gulf between where the unit was and where it had to be was frighteningly huge, but by the time she told the riders to dismount, they were able to weave among the three flares, walking within several feet of them. Cal decided to consider the small bit of progress a success.
“Great job, everyone,” she said as they led their horses back to the barn. Rachel, of course, disappeared with Bandit into his stall while the others clustered together under the overhang. Cal doused the flares with water before covering them with dirt in a corner of the parking lot, as far from the barn as she could get them.
“I’ll be playing polo for the next few days, but we’ll have another lesson on Monday,” she said when she returned to the barn. “Try to work with as many desensitization objects as you can before then. Once the horses are shod properly, we’ll start working them on the roads.”
Rachel half listened to the drone of talk outside Bandit’s stall while she brushed her horse and mentally reviewed their lesson. Don was still having trouble getting Fancy to move forward. No surprise, since Rachel figured the heavy mare would prefer to stand in one place for the rest of her life, as long as someone brought her food and water. Maybe a change of scenery would help. She’d take the horse out of the yard this weekend. A long gallop in the open spaces of the park might be enough to pique the horse’s interest and ease her ring-sour attitude. Clark was still having some flexibility issues with Sitka, especially when they were turning to the right. She’d do some extra suppling exercises before their next lesson.
Rachel was planning her next ride on Ranger when a burst of laughter from Cal made her turn her attention back to the foursome’s conversation. Yesterday, she had listened with a sense of longing, a desire to be included, and a deep feeling of loss because she had been part of this community not so long ago. But Hargrove’s visit had convinced Rachel her dreams of restoring her reputation were futile ones. She wasn’t home yet. Until she got a fresh start in a new city, with a new department, she wouldn’t find the peace of having a family and community that she craved. She’d stay long enough to finish what she had started—or what she had been forced to start. She would give the mounted unit a fighting chance, and then she’d go.
She focused on Cal’s voice, tuning out the others. So deep and sexy, the sound wrapped around Rachel like a soft comforter. Rachel was focused on what her unit needed—how to train the horses and riders, and how to keep them safe. But why couldn’t she devote a little time to her own needs and desires? One simple kiss with Cal was enough to prove she’d be able to distract Rachel from her troubles for a few hours. No, she’d do more than distract Rachel. Cal would be able to render her so fucking out of her mind she wouldn’t give a damn what Hargrove had said or how her unit treated her. Cal wanted her, had been open about her interest from the first moment they were reunited at her farm. Why not grab at this connection, short-term or not?
She’d wait until the other officers left. Ask Cal to come over to her apartment, stay for dinner, discuss the upcoming training schedule for the team. Not that she needed to make e
xcuses. Cal wanted her, had pushed for this night, so all Rachel had to do was say yes. She could picture them on her couch. She’d kiss Cal and tug on her thigh until Cal straddled her. Slide her hands up Cal’s ribs, over her beautifully toned torso, rub her thumbs over nipples so hard she’d—
“I’m taking off,” Cal said. She was leaning against Bandit’s stall door. “I’ll see you Monday.”
Cal had been standing there for several moments, watching Rachel. Watching her absently groom her horse while her green eyes—as dark and shadowed as the night beyond the stable’s lights—gazed into some distance Cal couldn’t see. Cal was surprised her own voice, when she finally spoke, didn’t betray any of the lustful thoughts she experienced as images of Rachel rapidly shifted through her mind. Rachel over her, under her, on her knees. A repeat of last night’s kiss, but with no stopping, no second thoughts.
Rachel looked at her, her eyes inviting Cal into the shadows. “It’s late. Why don’t you come over to my place? We can order pizza. Hang out.”
Yes. Cal wanted to. She’d wanted Rachel from the moment she had seen her in her uniform. So poised and strong, her polished demeanor dissolving into smiles as she played with Feathers. Last night, after their kiss, Cal would have jumped at the invitation she saw in Rachel’s expression. But now she was the one having second thoughts.
“It’s late,” she echoed. “And I have to be up at dawn tomorrow. But thanks for the invite. Maybe some other time.”
“Sure, maybe,” Rachel said shortly, turning her back to Cal and resuming her work on Bandit’s coat. “See you Monday.”
Damn. Cal walked out to the parking lot, fighting with every step against the urge to go back and jump at the offer Rachel had made. She got into her car and slammed the door. This was crazy. She had only taken this job as trainer to spend time with Rachel. Seduce her. Now she had the chance she had been looking for, and she had said no. And had probably confused and hurt Rachel in the process.