by T. T. Kove
I frowned. How did he know I liked Footloose?
“You watched it on my Netflix, remember?” He reminded me, grinning as he straightened up. “Dance flicks and Japanese animation. What else is there to know about you?”
“Nothing. I think.” That was pretty much it. “Umm… well, I like to read fan fiction.”
“Fan fiction?” His eyebrows inched up his forehead.
“Yeah, fan fiction of the shows I watch. You know, when things don’t happen the way you want them to or you ship a couple that’s not actually canon, and… well, yeah, fan fiction is great for that. Also, most of the fan fiction I read are pretty sexual as it’s usually a ship between two guys. You can get lots of ideas from it really.” Not that I’d ever lived out any fantasies I might’ve had, or got from reading, but with Wynn I might just get to do it. “Then again, if you don’t like to watch porn, and only like to read good books, then I’m sure you don’t like to read erotica either.”
He snorted. “I’ve got space in the DVD racks in the living room for these.” He pointed at the covers on the bed.
“Oh, I’ve got more than these,” I warned, noticing how he easily ignored my observation. “A lot more. Not all of it anime though. I’ve got some films—I especially like superhero films, like Marvel—and series.”
“Now Marvel I could get behind,” he said, grinning like he was pleased he’d found some middle ground. “Action flicks in general.”
I liked superhero action, but if he liked other sort of action—explosions and car chases and whatnot—then I was out. Though action in a fantasy setting, like The Lord of the Rings, that I could do.
“We should have a film marathon one night we’re not working,” I suggested lightly, smiling down at my DVDs. I only bought the series I liked, after all, so they were all precious to me. Al had never been fond of them though, so if I’d watched it back at his place, it had mostly been in my room, on my laptop.
A strong arm slid around my neck, drawing me back against a wide, hard chest. Soft lips brushed my temple. “Now that we could do.”
I closed my eyes briefly as I leaned back against him. He stayed like that too, his cheek resting against my head, arm still around me in a loose hug.
“I like learning new things about you,” he said then, voice low and deep.
“Same here.” I smiled to myself. “And there’s a lot more to learn. That’s a bit exciting, isn’t it?” I knew the most fundamental though—how kind he was and how considerate of me, both in and out of bed. That he liked keeping his place clean and tidy. That no matter what people said about him, he had a big heart. Nothing anyone else said could make me see him any differently—because what mattered was how he treated me, and he treated me better than anyone had ever done.
He was like a knight in shining armour—the modern type, who was all dark and brooding and not shiny at all, but a saviour anyway. He’d protect me. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me as long as he was around. And he probably would be around for a while as we figured out this strange, new relationship we’d fallen into.
I couldn’t be anything but happy at that.
Chapter 10
Life seemed a lot easier. Maybe because I didn’t live in fear in my own home anymore, maybe because I’d had a good shift at work last night where I didn’t mess up much, or maybe just because all the sex I had now left me constantly relaxed and in a good mood?
All of them might certainly be helping. As for work doing better… if it was because of Wynn’s help or because I wasn’t constantly worried about Al… the jury was still out on that one. Being more relaxed—and not a bundle of nerves, like Wynn said—certainly helped too.
So here I was, at my brother’s place to have a Friday dinner with them. I had today off, but would work again tomorrow. It seemed a little easier to face the bar when I had a night off in-between shifts. I hoped tomorrow would happen without me messing up too much either.
“There you are!” Kian drew me into a tight hug the minute I stepped through the door.
“It’s not been that long.” I chuckled and tried to save my dignity by fighting my way out of his grip. It didn’t work—even Kian was stronger than me. We weren’t anything alike, not really, but then I got most of my mum’s Asian genes and Kian’s mum was Caucasian… but we were both femme. Kian currently had his black hair dyed with rainbow tips, which he seemed to do at least once a year. Eyeliner marked his eyes. He wore a tight T-shirt without any print, but it was a pastel pink so it relayed its message anyway. And standard skinny jeans—exactly like mine.
While my hair was its regular coarse black, I also wore eyeliner. I’d used to dye my hair before too—back in school I’d had a period while it’d been pink. Then Al had happened and he certainly hadn’t liked that, so I’d coloured it over with black again after a while. Alistair didn’t like anything that made me look camp.
“I’m worried about you, you idiot.” He held me at arms’ length and looked me up and down. “How’re you doing? Al’s been by several times in the past week. He’s real worried about you, says you haven’t been home and he’s not been able to get a hold of you.”
I swear my blood froze. “Al’s been here?”
“Yeah, looking for you.” He tilted his head. “What’s going on?”
I swallowed. “We broke up. That’s to say—I broke up with him. I moved out.” And I’d left the note… Hadn’t he got the hint? How could he come around to my brother’s and claim to look for me, claim I still lived with him? And he hadn’t tried to contact me—not after I’d moved all my stuff out anyway.
Kian blinked. “You moved out? But… where are you living now?”
I mumbled the address, but didn’t mention I lived with anyone in particular. I didn’t think Kian knew Wynn’s address anyway. Best to let Kian get used to me and Al being over first before I brought Wynn into the mix. I did not want to hear how surely Al was the better catch because he so wasn’t.
“So if Al comes here asking for me again, don’t tell him anything.” I gave him a pleading look now, and when I spotted movement at the corner of my eye, I turned to give Silver one as well. “It’s over. I don’t want to keep seeing him.”
Silver’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded. Kian, on the other hand, frowned. “But you’ve been in love with him for years. What changed?”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to get into it. Kian would flip his shit and I was fine now. As long as Al stayed away, anyway. Which he probably wouldn’t do, but I wouldn’t worry about it until I had to. “Sometimes people just fall out of love, I guess.” Especially when they get slapped around and belittled all the time.
Now that was something Kian didn’t want to believe either. He’d been with Silver for years now and he was a hardcore romantic, so the possibility of falling out of love didn’t sit well with him. Still, it made him shut up, grimace, and turn to the kitchen. “So I tried to cook dinner for once, but failed majorly, so we ordered take-away from the Indian place down the street. Hope that’s okay?”
Way to liven the mood, brother. I chuckled as I followed him, brushing past Silver still leaning against the doorway. “That’s good. I’ve never had much confidence in your cooking abilities anyway.” He was as bad at cooking as I was. Sure, we could do noodles and pop things into the microwave or a pizza in the oven, but preparing actual meals… that wasn’t our forte. Better to go the safe route of take-away.
“Want to see a film while we eat?” Kian asked, eyeing me wryly as we piled food on our plates. “We can go for a romantic comedy, maybe? For laughs, you know? Or if you’re entirely done with romance, I suppose we could do action? Or if you’re really, really done with romance, horror? Nothing says fuck you like some blood and gore.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’d be good with whatever you two want to watch.” I glanced at Silver, who still hadn’t said a word, to find he was already watching me. I flushed and looked back at my plate, ladling tikka masala over th
e rice I’d already piled on.
When I was younger, back when Kian had first met Silver and brought him over to meet the family, I’d fancied him so bad. He’d been the first boy, the first person, I’d ever fancied. It was because of him I’d figured out I was gay. Looking at him now, there were some similarities to Wynn. Like the black hair and the fit body and the full sleeve tattoos.
I didn’t fancy Silver anymore though. I’d grown out of it right around the time I’d started to fancy Alistair instead. Now it was Wynn who occupied my thoughts. That made three guys in the span of five or six years? That wasn’t so bad.
Mathilda had fancied countless guys during our two years at college. Some she’d got with, some she hadn’t. Me? Well, there’d only been Al through those two years. I’d never once looked at anyone else—though I had sucked other guys’ dicks. I’d just never fancied them.
And now Wynn…
“You seem deep in thought.” Silver bumped my shoulder with his gently. “You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah.” I smiled to convince him, but I wasn’t sure he was convinced. He only gave me another long once-over, then grabbed cutlery and a glass and took his plate with him out to the living room.
I followed. I let them sit together on one end of the sofa and took the other, curling up with my plate on the armrest.
Silver browsed through channels, didn’t find anything, and Kian popped a DVD into the player. He’d chosen an action comedy, probably to be on the safe side. Truth was though, I wouldn’t have minded a romantic comedy. I was in a pretty good place right now, but I wasn’t ready to tell him that. Wasn’t ready to hear about how Al was better than Wynn. I didn’t even know why he didn’t like Wynn, as I’d never paid much attention.
The film didn’t hold my attention. I kept cutting glances their way. They’d been together for so many years now and they were comfortable together. They always had been, honestly. When Kian brought Silver home for Christmas their first year together… he’d been so happy.
I’d overheard Mum and Dad saying later, after they’d gone home again, that they’d never seen Kian so happy before. Not in the few months he’d been in our lives by then, anyway. I hadn’t grown up with my brother, as he’d been living with his no-good mum. But when he turned eighteen and Dad could finally contact him again without her making a mess of it… Kian had entered my life and he’d a fixed part of it ever since.
I loved him. And I loved Silver, he was almost like an older brother to me now too. He spent more time with our family than his own, after all, and with all those years together… yeah, they were solid.
That was what I wanted. Something solid, someone to feel comfortable with, someone to love fully. It was what Kian and Silver had, it was what Adam had used to have with Nick. Except Adam wasn’t interested in this anymore in favour of sleeping around. But I was. I didn’t want to sleep around. All I’d ever wanted was someone to love, someone who was only mine.
It seemed like maybe, possibly, that’s what Wynn wanted too. Why else would we have moved so quickly in such a short amount of time? Surely not just for the sex. It was great, but there was more to it than that.
Two phones pinged at the same time. One was mine—the other Kian’s. I shuffled the last forkful of food into my mouth before I checked what was going on.
I almost choked on my food. It was a text message. From Al.
Where the fuck are you, Kaz?
Next second, another one trickled in.
Don’t you dare avoid me. I have to see you.
I managed to swallow the food before I really did choke, but only barely and I didn’t taste it at all.
“Is it okay if Chloe stops by?” I heard Kian ask, but it was almost like I heard it coming from very far away, like he was in a different room.
I’m warning you, Kaz.
That one had an angry emoji after it and I stared at the red, angry face. That was probably how he looked right now too. Why he’d spent so many days in silence before he contacted me was beyond me, but… my peace was over. Maybe he’d hoped I’d come back on my own? As if that would ever happen.
“She’ll be here any second,” Kian was saying, still as if far away. “She was just around the corner.”
You can’t fucking ignore me, you piece of shit, you hear that?
So what if he found me? I was surrounded by people. Right now I was with Kian and Silver, and they wouldn’t let Al hurt me. If I wasn’t with them, I was with Wynn, and at work I was around Adam, mostly. Neither of them would let Al hurt me either—and considering both of them knew he would, they wouldn’t let him near me.
It was weird that Al had resorted to threatening messages. He’d never done that before. He was always nice and cordial in public or anywhere else someone other than me could get a hold of. These text messages… They could be used as evidence to show people, like Kian, what he was really like.
Should I show him? I clenched my new phone tight, glanced at him, seeing him smile adoringly up at Silver who affectionally ruffled his hair. Kian’s expression changed to one of indignation as he pushed at Silver’s chest—not managing to so much as move him an inch, but he did retract his hand. Kian instantly set to fixing his hair just so again.
The door slammed open and Chloe stormed in before I could make up my mind. She wore high heels that she toed off angrily before she came over to flop onto the sofa, in-between Kian and me. She was dressed up as if she’d been to a party, but her expression was thunderous and her eyeliner and mascara were slightly smudged under her eyes. Eyes that were a bit glassy, as if she had been crying or she would soon.
“I hate everyone,” she pronounced.
“Aww, babe.” Kian looped his arms around her neck and hugged her tight. “Don’t put us all under there just because one guy’s an arsehole.”
She blew out a breath. “I try and try and try. And this is all I get! Dumped. And only a month before Christmas too. I don’t know why I bother.”
I let my hands sink to my lap, still clutching my phone tight. I couldn’t show Kian now. He had other things to occupy him, like his best friend clearly being dumped.
When I’d first met Chloe, she’d been in a relationship with another girl. A tomboyish girl, but still a girl. She’d been the first lesbian I’d ever known back then, while Kian had been the first gay guy. But it had turned out Chloe wasn’t a lesbian. When that relationship ended, her next one had been with a guy. And so she had continued through the years, switching between girls and guys at her leisure.
She seemed to want to find the right girl or guy for her, but she never managed. Her relationships never lasted wrong. Either she was really difficult to deal with—hard to imagine, as she’d always been really nice to me—or she fell for the wrong type of people. It was probably the latter.
“I suppose it’s good it’s before Christmas though.” She sighed. “At least I hadn’t got around to buying him a Christmas gift yet.”
“See? There’s a silver lining to everything,” Kian quipped, always the optimist. “You and Kaz can start a club. He’s newly single too.”
Oh! Shit.
Chloe turned her head to me. “Yeah? I bet your ex is an arsehole too.”
If only any of you knew. I tried for a smile but it turned out rather weak. “Yeah.”
Kian’s brows knitted together in a frown as he watched me, while Silver only gave me another long look like he had in the kitchen earlier. Does he suspect something? Kian sure didn’t, but it was harder to read Silver.
“Men,” Chloe huffed. “Next time it’s going to be a woman, for sure.”
“As if some of them aren’t only after sex too,” Kian commented drily.
Chloe sighed, as if he had a point. “Maybe I’ll try being a nun for a while. Celibacy’s got to have some perks right?”
“If not you can always go for a dildo,” Kian offered kindly. “You get the dick but without all the drama that comes with the rest of the body.”
Silver
hit Kian upside the head—and Chloe burst out laughing. “Thanks a lot for that,” Silver grumbled.
“Not you.” Kian turned wide eyes on him. Wide eyes that always made Silver melt. I’d seen it myself countless times. “Never you. If anything, I’m the one who makes the drama in our relationship.”
Silver wrapped an arm around Kian’s neck and drew him in close. “That’s right.”
I smiled a little to myself at their antics, but as I glanced down at my phone and saw Al’s messages still on the screen, my smile faded. I wanted to go back to Wynn’s flat and be with him, let him make it all better, because he would. When I was with him, nothing else mattered. Al couldn’t get to me, no one could, because I was safe with Wynn.
“Guys, I’m going home.” I stood abruptly, shutting off the screen on my phone so I didn’t have to look at Al’s threatening messages anymore.
“What?” Kian pushed away from Silver. “Why? You just got here a little while ago.”
I bit down on my lip. “I’m not feeling so great. Need some time alone.” Some quality time in bed with Wynn, was more like it, but I wasn’t going to say that.
“Ahh, yeah, I’m sorry.” Kian got to his feet and came over to hug me again. “About the audition and Al and everything. You’ve not had a good week, have you?”
I hugged him back. “Yeah, no, not really.” The audition… I tried not to think about that. That I had to wait a year to retake it and then another one to even start school if I did get in. But other than that… getting away from Al only meant good things, and Wynn… yeah, I didn’t have words to explain Wynn. “I’m working tomorrow night. Got Sunday off, but, yeah, we’ll just talk next week, okay?” Sunday I planned on spending with Wynn. All day, uninterrupted.
“Okay. Don’t feel too down, you hear me? It’s not the end of the world that you botched that audition… and when it comes to boyfriends, there’s plenty other fish in the sea.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, there is.” One in particular was likely waiting for me at home.