by Laura Lam
He said Communism had entered the picture under two important circumstances. Firstly, a large proportion of intellectuals worldwide in the 1920’s and 1930’s were strongly left-wing or Communist sympathizers, desolate at the slaughter of the First World War and seeking an alternative to the ‘old order’. Secondly, Ho’s search for international support had been widespread but, sadly for later events, only found a sympathetic ear in Moscow.
Ho Chi Minh’s communism had been an instrument to serve a much deeper ideal, that of nationalism. Ho once stated, “I shall follow any international community which supports the liberation of the colonies.” General Vo Nguyen Giap said, “Ho Chi Minh chose Communism in order to save the nation.” Giap also described how Ho provided a version based on opportunity rather than equalization for the Vietnamese people, quoting Ho:
“The poor should be better off and have enough; the average should become well off and some of them rich; the already rich should be able to become even more wealthy. People would be united, with everyone as patriot.”
Above every source of influence stood Ho’s real and central driving force: he was a patriot. That was the name he had adopted in the crucial early years when he formulated his position; he styled himself Nguyen Ai Quoc – Nguyen The Patriot.
My father said Western powers never seemed to understand that the primary driving force of the Vietnamese people has always been nationalism. Westerners failed to acknowledge and accept the fact that the Vietnamese simply wanted to get rid of the foreigners and to run their own country.
I returned to the hammock on the patio and sat for a long time. I stared at my sister’s little garden where she grew white jasmine bushes and flowering apricot trees in huge pots, Hong came and said, “It’s late, are you coming inside to get ready for bed?” I told her I was enjoying the cool breeze and the scent of the flowers and was not sleepy. My father’s story was still too vivid and raw.
After thirty-five years of silence, misunderstanding, and frustration, the father I always loved emerged, finally understood and appreciated. My own conscience began to bother me a great deal from this time. I believed it was me, and not my father, who had chosen the wrong path. Had I known more about my father and Granduncle Cuong, would I have worked for the Sai Gon regime, or been involved with the Americans? The remaining days of my visit filled me with indescribable sadness.
In the stillness of the night, I listened to the whispering of the wind. I watched the geckos on the ceiling in the dim light from the small electric bulb. They made tiny “chit chit” sounds – sounds of regret, as my grandmother used to say. My own regrets gradually seeped into me, as did remorse, and hidden guilt.
OTHER LOVED ONES
From 1992 to 1994 I sent the remaining two-year salary from the UNHCR to buy four more houses in Sai Gon, one for each of my brothers. The reasons were very clear to me at the time: to fulfil the duty of an eldest child, to free them from poverty, and to remove my overwhelming guilt for having left them behind in 1975. This was my way of liberating myself once more, in order to enjoy life in the West without hindrance of remorse. In 1993 I helped them set up a patchwork quilt project, TT Quilts, in Sai Gon, hiring several women from Xom Gieng and several female relatives from Truong An. Later the project was expanded and many single mothers were hired and trained to produce high-quality, handmade quilts for export. This enables the women to work at home while looking after their young children. Part of the profits from foreign sales are donated to the families of these women to help support their children’s education.
Every time I have been in Sai Gon I have tried to locate my old friends and former classmates. I could locate only one, Lan, who’d worked with me in the accounting department at the Ministry of Transportation. She has been working as a hawker, selling beef noodle soup in an alley in Sai Gon. I was told that Phuong, my classmate who’d suffered the serious traffic accident in 1970, and her family, might have escaped to Australia. I couldn’t obtain Phuong’s address, however. When I returned to Ngoc Phuong temple, I was told Sister Dieu Thai might have emigrated to the United States. I tried to search for Nu and was told by her former neighbours that her family had indeed escaped, presumably by boat. But there had been no news from them. Colonel Donnelly’s former place had completely changed. I couldn’t find anyone who knew Mother Chin. She’d given me a pair of pearl earrings in 1975 and they are now still with me, as a cherished remembrance.
BITTER LEGACY
I took Edward to Truong An village in the summer of 2000. He’d asked to see it. This was my first time back since 1967.
It was a sunny and hot afternoon. We arrived in Thanh Chau with my mother, my sister Hong and my brother Nhan, and their children. From the van’s window, we saw sparkling water and then my maternal relatives, squatting in their motorized sampans, looking expectantly in our direction. I recognized Mo Muoi in her white blouse and black trousers and partially-torn conical hat. The minute she saw us getting out of the van, she took off her hat, stood up, and waved at us. Her old sampan was bobbing in the water under a brilliant sun. She ran towards me. I shouted out, “Mo Muoi!” and embraced her. Her face bore the obvious signs of long suffering, and at that moment tears welled up in her eyes. I felt a pang in my chest. “What a miracle to see you, dear child!” She said.
We passed several monkey bridges. When my old neighbourhood appeared, I hardly recognized it. Mo Muoi pointed at a very tall coconut tree behind a small thatched hut – my old family house, and said, “I don’t know if you still remember this tree. Your father had asked me to find a baby tree. He planted it himself to celebrate your birth. Its trunk contains many bullet holes, but every year it never fails to produce fruits.” Edward was fascinated by the tree, and its story.
I saw a frail looking woman standing in her front yard, she shouted, “Hoa Lai! I’m Lien. Your old friend Huyen Lien (Black Lily)!” I looked at her, startled. She burst out laughing, then shouted again, “You don’t remember me! I don’t blame you. It has been more than thirty years.” I smiled at her and shouted back, “Yes, I remember you, Lien!” While I was struggling to get out of the wobbling sampan, she ran over and pulled me up to the bank. We embraced. Lien was very talkative. She took me into her house to see her widowed mother. Lien herself was also a widow. Her husband and all her four brothers who had been members of the NLF had been killed in combat. She reported that our friend Cam Phi – Plump Orange had been killed by a poisonous snake in the underground shelter during one of the raids in the seventies. Both of us found ourselves in tears. That evening I gave her a small amount of American money. She bought for herself a solid gold ring the next day – her new savings.
Hinh was especially delighted to see me. He had told Mo Muoi that if he could see me, he would be “happy to die”. He had been in poor health following a head injury after the war. I gave him cash for medical treatment. Uncle Muoi’s eldest son, Gai, was poorest of all my maternal cousins. I gave him money to construct a well at his house at the suggestion of my mother. She said that Gai’s family had used polluted river water in their cooking and she was reluctant to eat at Gai’s house. His younger brother Thanh, who had accompanied me during my return visit to Truong An in 1967 had died of illness shortly after the war.
One of Edward’s first questions was why our village had no roads. It was difficult to answer but I decided to tell him the truth, that the Americans had bombed the village heavily and destroyed all the roads. The parts that were left were further damaged by floods, and the reason for that was that all trees had been killed by American chemicals during the war.
We stayed at my parents’ little country house in the village of Vinh Vien, the birthplace of my deceased adoptive brother Son. The house is typical of the area – palm leaf roof and walls – but without the typical earthen floor. When I had it built for my parents, I requested a red brick floor. I also equipped it with a modern bathroom, electricity, and a telephone. It overlooks a stream and is surrounded by fruit trees. We found there
a dozen ducks and chickens, hundreds of duck and chicken eggs, a tank of live fish, clusters of fresh coconuts, baskets of mangoes and pineapples, and various types of vegetables – presented to us as gifts by my maternal relatives and friends. Each meal was a feast to us and we had a constant flow of visitors, who were most anxious to see me and my Eurasian son. In less than a day, word got out. Even complete strangers arrived to have a brief view of the overseas Vietnamese (Viet Kieu).
I had heard about victims of Agent Orange in Vinh Vien, and while there the local authorities confirmed that there were currently two hundred victims in this village alone. I asked to see some of them and more than a dozen appeared at the house. The sights shocked me. Their conditions were beyond anything the outside world could imagine. When Edward met the first two cases – an older woman who had been infected, with a horrible looking face, and her invalid daughter – he was terrified and burst into tears. He ran into the bedroom, pulled down the mosquito net, and sat motionlessly on the edge of the bed. I went in and took him in my arms, but couldn’t find the right words to explain to him. All I could say was, “We’ll try to help them ourselves. Then we’ll tell other people to help them too.”
The following day he asked me if we could take some of them home with us. In order to have their arms and legs “repaired”, he said. We had arrived in the village with a budget of two thousand dollars, and although we gave only small amounts to each family of my maternal relatives and to Agent Orange victims, the money was gone in two days. On our third day, my sister said, “We must leave the village before dawn tomorrow. If we stay, more people will come and we don’t have any more money to give.” She telephoned the car rental company, telling them that we would be returning to Sai Gon earlier. In the evening, Hinh arrived and we discussed the war again. He gave me the following message:
Millions of Vietnamese were killed and millions were injured in various degrees. The United States added further misery to Vietnamese lives by decades of embargo against Viet Nam. Another unfair treatment took place in the spring of 1997, when the US Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin came to Viet Nam and demanded a payment of 145 million dollars, to be paid by the Vietnamese by 2019. This would be the repayment of loans which the Americans had made to the American-backed regime in Sai Gon during the war. The Vietnamese themselves feel deep resentment and argue that even if the Americans decided to use that debt – that sum of money – to pay each family of the American War’s victims, the amount would be less than thirty-six American dollars per family.
After Hinh left, I asked myself over and over, “What can I do for my country?” and “How can I help the Agent Orange victims?” Those who had suffered and continue to suffer are my own people.
The next morning we got up before five. Edward was wide awake but said he didn’t want to leave the village. He begged me to stay and see more people with “poorly arms and legs”. He started weeping again. Hinh came in and gently lifted him off the bed, “Please come with me, sweet child!” We made our way in the dark to the waiting motorized sampan. Edward was carried by Hinh. Everyone could hear him sobbing. But he fell asleep afterwards in my arms. The sampan was passing the palm jungle at a high speed. With two other sampans behind, my relatives accompanied us to a meeting point with the driver and the van. Two hours later we found them – already waiting for us near a monkey bridge.
Major Historical Events
1615 - 1975
1615
French Jesuit, Alexandre Rhodes arrives in Viet Nam with other priests after being expelled from Japan. Aggressive Catholic criticism of Eastern religion and beliefs, with Rhodes’ view of the Buddha as “the Black Liar, to be felled like a dangerous tree.” Romanized script or Quoc Ngu is developed by Rhodes in 1628 and his Vietnamese-Portuguese-Latin dictionary is published in 1651.
1615 – 1800
Combined promotion by missionaries of Catholicism and trade. Ten percent of population converted to Catholicism by c. 1750. Rising hostility of government mandarins towards missionaries.
1778
Bishop Pigneau de Behaine appoints political and military advisors to Nguyen Anh, and provides significant technical support in a civil war. 1802 Nguyen Anh begins reign as Emperor Gia Long, uniting the country, and founding the Nguyen dynasty.
1820
Emperor Minh Mang (1820- 1840) avoids missionaries and dismisses all French advisors at Court during his reign. Captain John White, first American recorded as setting foot in Viet Nam.
1847
French forces attack Da Nang port in response to Emperor Thieu Tri’s rejection of missionaries. Emperor Tu Duc succeeds Thieu Tri, and plans to eliminate Catholicism in Viet Nam.
1852
Napoleon III takes power in France. He endorses series of expeditions to Viet Nam to protect French missionaries and gain trade concessions.
1857
Napoleon III makes final decision to invade Viet Nam.
1858
French warships attack Da Nang and set fire to the town. French troops rely on the support of 400,000 Vietnamese converted Catholics, who pledge their loyalty to the French.
1861
French forces capture Sai Gon. The Imperial Court still hopes for a peaceful negotiation.
1862
Emperor Tu Duc signs treaty with France, granting them broad religious, economic, and political concessions.
1863
The French take control of Cambodia. French missionaries urge French government to overthrow Emperor Tu Duc. Resistance movements are intensified throughout Viet Nam for ten years. The French execute many resistance leaders.
1873
French forces attack Ha Noi and capture General Nguyen Tri Phuong, who starves himself to death in captivity. The Vietnamese counter-attack and re-gain Ha Noi two years later.
1879
First French governor appointed for South Viet Nam, now France’s colony in the Far East and renamed “Cochinchina”.
1882
Captain Henri Riviere and his powerful troops seize Ha Noi. The commander of Ha Noi citadel, General Hong Dieu, commits suicide.
1883
France establishes Annam (Central Viet Nam) and Tonkin (North Viet Nam) as “Protectorates”.
1884
The French enthrone Ham Nghi, at age 12. His Court is split among those calling for armed resistance and those wanting to negotiate and collaborate with the French.
1885
Emperor Ham Nghi goes into hiding after being overthrown by the French. The Emperor issues the Can Vuong, a widespread appeal to the nation for armed resistance.
1887
France creates Indochinese Union, including Cochinchina, Annam, and Tonkin, and also Cambodia.
1888
The French capture Emperor Ham Nghi and send him into exile in Algeria. The French enthrone Dong Khanh, who dies in the same year.
1889
The French enthrone Thanh Thai, at age 10.
1890
French troops continue to raid villages and push many of the Can Vuong resistance forces deeper into remote mountainous areas. Ho Chi Minh is born in Vinh, Central Viet Nam.
1907
Educational opportunities are made available to Vietnamese women – for the first time in history, with the Dong Kinh Nghia Thuc, a non-tuition school. The school is sponsored by the two revolutionaries Phan Boi Chau and Phan Chau Trinh. It is one of their efforts to help prepare the country for an armed revolution. Emperor Thanh Thai’s secret women’s army is revealed to the French, who suspect the Emperor’s plot against them. The Emperor is deposed and sent into exile in a remote Indian Ocean island. The French enthrone Emperor Duy Tan, at age 7, to replace Thanh Thai.
1911
Ho Chi Minh begins his exile overseas and would not return until 30 years later.
1914
First World War breaks out in Europe.
1916
Emperor Duy Tan calls for a general armed uprising, hoping to inspire the revolt of
98,000 Vietnamese conscripts gathered in Hue on their way to France (for labour battalions) for the First World War. The French depose Emperor Duy Tan and send him into exile in Reunion. Emperor Khai Dinh is enthroned. Khai Dinh yields to all France’s demands and is portrayed as a corrupt leader and a traitor by Phan Chau Trinh and Ho Chi Minh.
1917
Russian Revolution. Ho Chi Minh, then known as Nguyen Ai Quoc, arrives in Paris and stays for seven years.
1919
Ho Chi Minh sends petition for self-governing of Viet Nam to President Woodrow Wilson at Versailles Peace Conference. But American Secretary of State refuses to submit petition on his behalf.
1920
Ho Chi Minh joins new French Communist Party.
1926
Bao Dai, son of Emperor Khai Dinh, who had been “adopted” by a French family and educated in France now returns to ascend the throne, at age 12, under French tutelage.
1930
Ho and other revolutionaries form Indochinese Communist Party in Hong Kong.
1933
The French arrange a marriage for Emperor Bao Dai and Nguyen Huu Thi Lan – daughter of a wealthy Vietnamese collaborator. Like her family, she is a naturalized French citizen and a Catholic.
1936
Popular Front government in France sponsors short-lived liberal reforms in Viet Nam.
1939
World War II begins.
1940
Japan invades Indochina but leaves the French colonial administration intact.