Neev tried to make sense out of her words. Alcohol wasn’t helping him.
‘Damn, I am a fucking fool. I broke my phone out of angst. I only have the sim card now and the call record was in the phone memory.’ A pause later he added, ‘Nishani, my career is gone.’ He suddenly started wailing.
‘Let’s get some fresh air.’ More than him, she needed it.
A few minutes later, Nishani was driving Neev’s Kawasaki Ninja, with a sloshed Neev sitting on the pillion, on the lonely Western Express highway. Her mind was cruising faster than the bike. Neev kept murmuring, ‘Neev Dixit is Neev big shit!’ Nishani paid no heed till she felt his weight on her back. The rear-view mirror told her he was asleep. He never looked more repulsive before. She thought about how he would react if he came to know the video leak was designed by her? Would he leave her or would he empathize and be with her? She realized she didn’t care for Neev Dixit enough to wish either. She asked herself whom did she really love: Rakesh? Rehan? Vishwas? Neev? No! There were only two men she was ever doggedly serious about all her life: Shekhar and Shahraan. Nishani turned her bike and drove back to her flat.
‘Do you still love Neev?’ Shahraan had his eyes closed and face tilted up towards the shower. Though Reva knew they had to talk about a lot of things, she didn’t know it would begin this soon. Before she could respond, she heard Shahraan say, ‘I may ask you a few things tonight. And I never will do so again. Please make sure whatever you say, you mean it. Ignorance may be bliss, but I am tired of that bliss. So, do you—’
‘Do you still love Mehfil?’ Reva didn’t let Shahraan complete. She thought she saw a slight movement of his head. Nothing more.
‘Do you love me, Reva?’ he asked.
‘Do you trust me, Shahraan?’ she replied while staring at his nude back.
It sounded like some stupid teenage game—questions as answers and answers as questions—but Shahraan didn’t complain.
‘And Kaash? What about him?’
‘And the memories of Mehfil? What about them?’
‘Did you accept my proposal because you loved me or was it something else?’
‘Did you notice me because I was worth it or was it someone else?’
‘What do you want from me now, Reva?’
‘What did you want from me when you proposed to me, Shahraan?’
‘Did you fuck Kaash while we were in a relationship?’
‘Do you crave for Mehfil even after we are together?’
‘Have you ever thought of Neev when we make love?’
‘Have you ever wished for Mehfil after we are done making love?’
‘Do you want a new beginning with me, Reva?’
This one made Reva pause. She moistened her dry lips and stood up. Some of the lather slipped down her body. She loosened her still dry hair and stepped out of the tub. As she approached the shower cabinet, she let go of the hair clutch. The next instant, she was inside the cabin where they couldn’t move without rubbing onto the other. Shahraan finally turned. The shower water now fell on Reva’s face as she closed her eyes. They came closer.
‘Hasn’t every day between us been a beginning to a new something?’ she asked and embraced him tight. She prayed for him to reciprocate. A second later he did; tighter than normal.
Should I give him the good news? Reva thought and decided to wait because she wanted to feel the night in his arms around her for some more time. The last time she did so seemed like light years ago.
‘But that’s an integral part of the script,’ said Arunodaye. He was in the editing room at the time supervising an ad film of his. He got up and started ambling in the spacious room while talking on the phone. ‘It’s through that scene we are connecting to your character’s guilt. I am sorry, but I really can’t change it. Why don’t Nishani and you prepare for it together? You guys are long time friends, right?’
Kaash would have never done a pathetic thing like changing a scene because he was uncomfortable with it. Such kind of preposterous attitude was never his. And talking to Arunodaye, he realized the best way to escape it was to face it. Perhaps going through the scene with Nishani a few times could numb his jitters. He’d read it somewhere that one of the best way to prepare for a bed scene was to do it with clothes on numerous times over and then once, during the shoot, without them. He was an actor after all and pretence shouldn’t be hard. He sat on his bed and thought…immediately he checked himself. If he thought about it, he wouldn’t be able to do it. He simply called Nishani. Since she’d given him her number at the party, she’d always been on speed dial though he’d called her—Kaash did a quick math—a total of seven times in two years.
Nishani had thrown herself on the bed after the apartment’s watchman placed Neev on the sofa and left. Her mind wouldn’t succumb to sleep till she got a plan to strike back. She felt the vibration of her mobile phone in her jeans pocket. She pulled it out to see Kaash’s name on it. A genuine smile touched her. She took the call.
‘Hey Balloo, what’s up boy?’
Every time Kaash heard her voice he tried to, but could never numb his awareness of the motherly affection in her voice for him.
‘Nothing much. I was only preparing for my next scene. We are shooting on Sunday. Two days.’
‘Hell!’ It was then Nishani recollected she had to shoot an intimate scene with him.
‘Didn’t you know?’
‘I knew alright. But with all this happening—’
‘What’s happening?’
‘Nothing.’
Kaash sensed in that nothing, there was a long, untold story.
‘Okay. I had a chat with Arunodaye. He suggested we rehearse a bit before Sunday. Will you be game? I can meet you now if you want.’
‘Right now? But—’ Nishani paused. Something conjured in her mind. A plan! She was sure it would be the final blow for Shahraan. She could already feel her excitement pulsating within her.
‘Yeah. Let’s sure meet up. Outside Phoenix mall in an hour? I’ll pick you up on my bike.’
‘I know your place though.’
‘I’m outside right now,’ Nishani lied for the sake of her plan.
It was nine in the morning. Arunodaye had gone to sleep a couple of hours earlier. It was his wife Sunaina who woke him up stating he was getting innumerable number of calls from the media. For a moment, Arunodaye thought it was what he had dreamt: his film had released and it had been declared the blockbuster of the decade.
When he took the first call from his assistant in real, he had a feeling the film was history. Without caring to relieve himself in the toilet, he ran for the television as suggested by the assistant. He switched on to a leading news channel and opened the newspaper at the same time.
‘Reva Gupta clicked with Kaash Sehgal in the middle of the night near a mall: a secret affair or yet another script meeting?’ the news capsule said, with the complete story featuring in its entertainment section. The same shots were shown in the news channel as well. Arunodaye could still hear the sound of the slap Shahraan gave to Reva on set a week ago. And now this. His phone buzzed with Vikrant’s call. He took it.
‘Did you—’
‘Yes, just now.’
‘What the hell is Reva’s problem? She is not the first one to screw around, then why does she want to become the first one not to take care of it? I only hope it doesn’t affect the shoot. Rest can go to the gutters!’
‘Shoot? Do you think I would be able to strike the kind of chemistry I want between Shahraan and Reva in the film? Where is he saying anyway?’
‘I can’t reach him. Krishna told me he has cancelled all his meetings for the day. He’ll get back in some time.’
‘What about Reva and Kaash?’
‘Miss Headlines is unavailable as well. And I had a talk with Kaash just now. He said it was by chance that he met Reva last night. He was there to meet Nishani for rehearsing their scene.’
‘Yeah, I’d asked him to do so. We anyway aren’t shoo
ting Reva or Shahraan for the next ten days. Let’s focus on Nishani and Kaash then. And Vikrant, let’s stay focused. Remember, it took Satyajit Ray almost four years and a helluva problems to complete Pather Panchali.’
Of all the people, Nishani didn’t expect Neev to be the unhappiest.
‘What’s all this?’ he said reading the morning newspaper.
‘Whatever it is, it’s there in the open now.’ Nishani had come back from the gym minutes back and was having green tea.
She had messaged Kaash to meet her outside a mall. She then messaged Reva using Neev’s sim card, pleading to meet up at the same mall, same spot. When both Kaash and Reva were there, she snapped their pictures together. Finding each other there, both talked to the other for less than a minute. When Nishani called Kaash stating her bike had problems, he had to return home while Reva too returned after Neev’s mobile kept telling her it was unavailable. Nishani knew the headlines would no way affect Kaash—whose stardom was tiny compared to Reva’s—but will break all those fibres that still managed to connect Shahraan and Reva.
‘I don’t believe this!’ Neev said staring at the photographs.
‘Why?’
‘After whatever happened, I don’t think Reva would risk what she has to keep it going with Kaash.’
‘And what I can’t understand is that a man threatens to destroy your career because his wife chose to lie to him about you, and still you don’t want to believe she may be having a secret dalliance!’
‘No! Because this woman you are talking about at some point of time was mine too and I know when she is faking it and when she isn’t.’
‘Why don’t you call her and ask her about it?’
Neev glared at the photographs for some time and then said, ‘It’s none of my business. In fact, this will only push Shahraan to believe I wasn’t actually lying. But the one who leaked the video in the internet… I’ll not spare the bastard. I’ll…’
Nishani noticed how taut his grasp of the newspaper was. Still, she was okay inside. She knew he would never get to know the truth. And the last thing she wanted was Neev calling Reva and acting like a knight in shining armour once again. Moreover, there was no way Reva would show Neev’s message to Shahraan, especially after what happened between them in the vanity van. Even if she chose to tell the truth—she was there to meet Neev and not Kaash—what would she tell him? Why was she going to meet Neev at such an odd hour? Nishani relaxed. Finally all her cards read ace. She did what she wanted to do. Manipulate everything in such a manner that Shahraan remains away from relationships in future like he made her stay away from one important relationship all her life.
Aravali saw the news while coming back from a film festival in Goa. Instead of going to her place, she chose to knock at Kaash’s Cyanide. He was having cornflakes for breakfast while listening to a Pandit Ravi Shankar instrumental.
‘What’s all this?’ she said opening the door with duplicate keys.
‘What?’ Kaash continued to take his cornflakes seriously.
‘What, what? What were you doing meeting Reva?’ She came and sat beside him in one of the chairs.
Kaash now looked at her and gave her an amusing smile, ‘What can I do, dear? You were not here, and I was, so…’ He leaned sideways to reach her ear. He tried to lick her lobe.
‘I am serious, Kaash. People are saying all sort of bullshit. I want the truth.’
‘You can’t handle the truth,’ Kaash improvised a Jack Nicholson dialogue from A Few Good Men.
Aravali pressed his cheeks hard.
‘Okay, okay. The truth is, Nishani did it.’
‘What the flying fuck? What’s her problem?’
‘Same as yours and mine. She is in love.’
‘But screwing up everyone around her won’t solve her problem.’
‘Now you know why I love her. Nishani never does a thing to solve or question it. She only does it. Everything else is an eventuality with her.’
‘I don’t care what happens to Reva or Shahraan, but what about your image?’
‘It’s a man’s world, darling. And in a man’s world, when he is photographed with a married woman, she is the centre of attraction and at fault. Go through any newspaper, Reva Gupta is everywhere. Relationships come with an MRP, but when you are Shahraan Ali Bakshi or for that matter Reva Gupta, it comes with a TRP as well.’ He was done with the cornflakes.
‘I don’t know, Kaash. What will Nishani get by doing all this? Shahraan will get to know one day anyway. By the way, did you talk to her about this?’
‘No, I didn’t. Do I have the right to?’
‘Oh yes. You are there in the photograph as well.’
‘I am sure she meant no harm to me.’
‘But how are you so sure it’s she who did this?’
‘She called me there last night, then changed the time, and then didn’t appear.’
‘Which means she would have known you would guess it anyway.’
‘That means even without saying it, she has requested me for a specific response; that I should not respond to it. Hence, I’m only obliging her.’
‘I have never understood your relationship with her!’
Kaash smiled playfully and kissed her on the cheek.
‘Nor have I.’
‘Hmmm. But,’ said Aravali, ‘I really think you should talk to her. If not complain, then at least let her know what she is doing will only destroy her and whatever it is that she is after; Shahraan or whatever really. I mean, look at her. She is a real diva. She has promise; loads of it. But why is she squandering it away like this? It takes people all their life to even reach half of what she has done at this young age.’
‘I’ll talk to her. I am supposed to meet her tonight at her place for the rehearsal of the scene.’
‘The intimate one?’
Kaash nodded.
‘I’ll be worried tonight.’
Kaash’s eyes had a funny twinkle.
‘I don’t want to lose you, Kaash,’ Aravali clasped his hands.
‘You know something? I have a gut feeling she knows she is risking her career doing all this. I only hope she wins.’ He tightened the clasp. Aravali kissed him on the cheek and placed her head on his shoulder.
‘Will you ever love me so much that my weaknesses will arouse you more than my strengths?’
Kaash suddenly got up, picked her up in his arms, and took her to his bed. In that moment, Aravali realized she was in love with the suddenness attached to his personality. The way he made her senses swing between excitement, surprise, and astonishment was nothing less of an addiction.
Kaash threw her on the bed and lay beside her with arms around her and face buried in her bosom. He made her feel like a mother. She kissed his forehead.
‘All I can promise is that I’ll forever be honest with you, Aravali.’
‘That, my dear, is the best gift you can ever give me; an unadulterated honesty. And, by the way, I will not mind even if you sleep with Nishani tonight.’
Kaash glanced at her once and said, ‘If I had to sleep with her, I would have done it already.’
She blew some air on his face which fluttered his hair a bit.
Love is only the realized part of a connection…words from one of Kaash’s ‘Dear Nish’ letters ricocheted in her head and now—only now—she understood how true they were.
‘Let’s end it before I start hating you,’ Shahraan said, aware of Reva’s presence in his golf simulation room. It was a dark, spacious room, with a giant projection of a gold course on one of the walls. The way Shahraan was scoring told her he was very focused. By now she knew well he was most focussed when he was enraged.
‘I want to show you something, Shahraan,’ said Reva. She had waited for Neev to turn up for an hour. When his mobile phone was unreachable, she decided enough was enough. She went back but couldn’t sleep well, wondering why Neev summoned her like that? His messages sounded emotional and yet he didn’t turn up. Shahraan and she had
made love after a long time. She didn’t want to leave him alone in bed and go to meet Neev. She wondered if she should have done that? Especially after Shahraan and Reva dug hard, hoping there still could be more treasure left in the pit of their relationship. Neev’s message said they owed each other one last meeting. It was true, she thought during her post-coital bliss lying beside a sleep-arrested Shahraan. She was ashamed of the lie she came out with against Neev in the van. Probably that’s why she agreed to meet up. She was sure the meeting would sever her from Neev once and for all and bring forth a refreshingly different chapter in her life. While reading the morning newspaper, she realized she’d underestimated life yet again.
‘Neev had messaged me last night to meet up for one last time,’ she told Shahraan, who for a few seconds ignored her like one ignores one’s own flaws. Then realized avoiding her wouldn’t help much.
‘And you went ahead even when he lied about you to me.’
‘Lied?’
‘In the van he said it was you who had called him several times at night. Remember?’
‘Oh yes.’ Reva, the real liar, felt a knot in her stomach.
‘But—’ she began and knew her throat was dry. She swallowed and said, ‘I thought he would apologize and I could amicably end whatever was left between us.’
‘And to meet Neev, you went to Kaash? Is that the best you could think up to fool me?’
I’m only fooling myself. She didn’t dare to speak up.
‘Last night, I thought we’d made a new beginning. But this morning—’ He hit a furious shot. Bam! He waited till the projection showed he had pocketed the ball. She heard him say, ‘I realized you are incapable of understanding anyone’s love for you. I am sorry to say this, Reva, but you are one insensitive bitch.’
The name didn’t hurt her as much as the fact he didn’t abuse her eye to eye. If he thought she deserved a filthy name, she would have accepted it, but not looking at her was like treating her as filth itself. That, she knew, she didn’t deserve. Not just as yet.
‘Believe me. I met Kaash quite by accident last night.’
‘I don’t believe you anymore, so don’t insist on it.’
How About a Sin Tonight? Page 23