by Kristi Gold
She surveyed the room and glanced to her right to find Helen waving them over. And next to the judge’s wife, one silver-haired, debonair man dressed in his usual classic golf attire. No one would guess that a man of such an intimidating stature would have such a soft spot for young couples in love.
She tugged on Matt’s sleeve to gain his attention. “I see them. Corner table.”
Matt raised his hand in acknowledgment. “I don’t know what I expected, but the judge looks as fit as a fiddle.”
But beneath that healthy veneer a horrendous disease was attacking his brilliant mind. “Helen said it’s important to treat him normally.”
“I can do that,” he said as he clasped her hand.
Together they waded through the handful of couples dancing to classic tunes delivered by A.W., the eightysomething DJ. As they approached, Rachel noticed Helen whispering something in Jack’s ear.
At first the judge looked a little confused before recognition dawned in his expression. Then he stood and grinned. “If it’s not my favorite twosome.”
While Helen and Rachel hugged, Matt stuck out his hand to Jack for a shake. “Hey, Judge. You’re looking mighty prosperous these days. Is that a new watch?”
“It is,” Helen said when Jack hesitated. “I gave it to him for our fiftieth anniversary two months ago.”
Matt pulled out a chair for Rachel, and as soon as they were seated, Jack removed his glasses and folded his hands on the table. “Now, how long has it been since I married the two of you?”
“Fourteen years in August,” Rachel answered. “It’s hard to believe it’s been that long.”
“Seems like yesterday the two of you showed up at the chapel,” Jack said. “You were flat broke and nervous as caged cats. But I knew the minute I laid eyes on you both that I didn’t need to give you the special treatment.”
Rachel frowned. “Special treatment?”
“A form of counseling,” Helen said. “He used to…” She turned to the judge. “Why don’t you explain it?”
He assumed his sophisticated demeanor. “Gladly, missus. You never tell it right anyway.”
“Oh, hush and get to it, Jackson.”
“I will, woman. Just give me some time.”
Rachel exchanged a smile with Matt over the banter that was as familiar and welcome as hot chocolate in winter. She’d never known two people so suited for each other, and that almost made her sad. At one time she’d felt the same about her and Matt.
“Usually the bride and groom plan the wedding well in advance,” Jack continued. “When they’d come in to discuss the ceremony, I’d tell them four things. Don’t blow your parents’ savings on a wedding that lasts fifteen minutes. Divorce costs more than the wedding, so don’t take the nuptials lightly unless you’re prepared to pay. Don’t cheat each other or on each other. And…” He looked a little forlorn. “I can’t remember that damn fourth point.”
“Expect a lot of crap through the years and learn how to deal with it because nobody’s perfect,” Helen said before regarding her and Matt. “The day you two walked into the chapel, so young and obviously in love, he told me, ‘Helen, those two kids—’”
“Are going to make it,” Jack finished. “I was right.”
As Rachel swallowed around the knot forming in her throat, Matt squeezed her hand. “You’re a good judge of character, Judge,” he said.
Helen took Jack’s hand into hers. “Yes, he is. Amazingly, all but six couples he’s married over the past twenty years are still together.”
“And the six that aren’t?” Rachel asked.
“Five divorces and sadly one death,” Helen said. “It’s illogical to assume that all of them would make it.”
“What’s your secret?” Rachel asked.
Jack chuckled. “Crap-management skills. If we fight before bed, we call a truce and duke it out in the morning when we’ve had some sleep. We have two different TVs and we do our own laundry. She lets me play golf and I let her have her poker club. We’ve got it down to a science, don’t we, sugar?”
“We certainly do, dear heart.”
So touched by their unmistakable love for each other, Rachel still felt as if she might cry. Her emotions kept spiraling out of control, either from hormones or the monumental task of trying to save her marriage.
“Would anyone like a snack or a drink?” Helen asked.
Rachel shook her head. “Not now, but I might want some cheese fries in a little bit.”
“After that plateful of food you just ate?” Matt looked and sounded incredulous.
She shrugged. “I’d only had the muffin Helen gave me. And I’m eating extra because…” I’m eating for two. Thankfully she pulled the words away before they jumped out of her mouth.
“It’s the mountain air,” Helen offered. “It makes for a hearty appetite.”
So did a lack of sex, another point she would keep to herself. “You’re right. I’m always hungrier when I’m here.”
“And I’m personally tired of sitting.” Matt pushed back from the table, stood and regarded Jack. “How about a game of pool, Judge?”
Looking as eager as a pup, Jack came to his feet. “Sounds like a fine idea, J.W.”
“It’s Matt, dear heart,” Helen corrected. “But come to think of it, he does look a little like Jackson Wayne.”
Jack scowled at his wife. “I know who he is, Helen.”
“Of course you do, honey,” Helen said. “It’s just an honest mistake. That’s all.”
Matt walked to the judge’s side, thankfully interrupting the awkward moment. “Come on, Jack. I’ve got a five-dollar bill with your name on it if you beat me. Ten if you let me win at least one. In the meantime, you ladies have a nice chat.”
Jack elbowed him in the ribs. “Hope you aren’t too attached to that five spot, boy. I might be an old goat, but I can still whip you nine ways to Sunday at the table.”
After Matt gave her a wink and walked away with the judge, Rachel turned back to Helen. “Guess we won’t be seeing those two for the rest of the evening.”
“It’s worth it to know Jack will be enjoying something he loves so much,” Helen said. “Matthew’s such a good, considerate man, Rachel.”
“Yes, he is.” A good man and, at one time, a good husband. If only he could be that man again. If only he realized he could also be a great father. A strong sense of melancholy settled over her and came out on a sigh.
“Honey, are you okay?”
The question brought Rachel out of her momentary funk. “I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.”
“You look tired,” Helen said. “But very pretty, too.”
“Thanks.” Helen’s diplomacy skills were second only to Matt’s. The pair of faded jeans and black knit shirt she wore wouldn’t be considered fashion forward. But she hadn’t packed for an outing because she hadn’t planned to leave the cabin. She hadn’t planned to be dealing with so many conflicting feelings, either. Tell Matt about the baby tonight; wait until tomorrow before they headed home.
Helen scooted her chair back and stood. “I’m going to get a beer. Do you want your usual wine or would you prefer something stronger?”
Oh, that she could have a glass of wine to relax. Unfortunately out of the question. “No thanks on either. I could use some water.”
“Water it is. I’ll be right back.”
Rachel rested her bent elbow on the table and supported her chin with her palm. She watched several couples twirling around the floor to a country-music waltz and found herself longing to be where they were in forty years. She wanted to still be with Matt, still in love. Still holding on to each other as they had for so long. Growing old and gray together with kids and grandkids to carry on after they were gone. Her fantasy, not his.
Helen returned with a mug of amber draft and a bottle of water that she set before Rachel. “I remembered you mentioned cheese fries, but unfortunately they’re all out tonight.”
Her appetite had
all but disappeared. “Don’t worry about it. If I eat anything else, I’ll have to unbutton these jeans.”
Helen looked toward the pool tables before retaking her seat. “Looks like the boys are having fun.”
Rachel glanced over her shoulder to find the judge slapping Matt on the back, both of them laughing as if they didn’t have a care in the world. “Jack looks good. You’d never know anything’s wrong.”
“Except for the memory lapses,” she said. “The new medicine has been helping with that, although he still has mood swings now and then. At times he acts as if he despises me.”
Rachel couldn’t fathom Jack despising anyone, let alone his wife. “He doesn’t despise you, Helen. He adores you.”
“I used to think so, but lately he’s been snapping my head off. Sometimes he gets downright belligerent over the smallest things. I realize that part of it’s the disease and part of it’s boredom. I know he misses performing weddings even though he swears he doesn’t.”
“When was the last time he officiated?”
“Last fall. After he was diagnosed, I closed the doors to the chapel. But I can’t stand the thought of letting it go.”
Rachel could relate. She felt the same way about the cabin. “Is there anyone who could possibly perform the weddings with Jack assisting for as long as he’s able?”
“That would be the best option, and I’ve actually made a few calls to some folks in Gatlinburg. So far I haven’t found a soul who’d be willing to drive all the way out here to perform even weekend weddings.”
An idea suddenly occurred to Rachel. A great idea. “What about J.W.? Since he’s an attorney, I’d think he’d be authorized to do weddings.”
Helen sighed. “I did consider that, but our son is very busy with the family. Our grandson graduates high school this year, and our granddaughter’s a freshman. There’s a lot going on when you have children that age.”
“Would he agree to two weekends a month?”
Helen shook her head. “I doubt it. Apart from his schedule, he’s never really approved of our decision to open the chapel.”
She couldn’t comprehend why anyone would object to that. “Why not?”
“Because he believes that a former esteemed district judge and an economics professor should retire in sunny Florida, play golf and have parties, not dump their resources in a less-than-lucrative wedding chapel.”
Rachel couldn’t imagine Helen and Jack being anywhere that didn’t include mountains. “I’d think he’d be grateful you remained close to home instead of several states away.”
“You’d think that, but again, he’s never understood why we decided to buy it.”
She’d always been curious about that, as well. “Why did you?”
“To be together. When I was still teaching and Jack was still on the bench, we rarely saw each other. This was our dream, to work side by side in an endeavor we both enjoy. It’s made our marriage stronger.”
That made perfect sense to Rachel. Many people had thought that she and Matt would tire of each other, since they worked together. That had never been a problem before now. “Doesn’t J.W. understand the importance of respecting his father’s choices under the circumstances?”
Helen twisted her wedding ring around and around her finger. “He doesn’t know about the Alzheimer’s.”
Rachel was stunned. “You haven’t told him?”
“Jack asked me not to say anything until it was absolutely necessary. And even if we decided to tell J.W, who knows when we’d have the opportunity to do it face-to-face? I could break the news over the phone, but that’s unacceptable as far as I’m concerned.”
Rachel felt Helen’s despair as keenly as if it were her own. “When did you see them last?”
“It’s been months. I invited the family for Easter dinner, but they had a cruise planned for the kids’ break. Last Christmas they took a ski trip to Vermont. As far as the weekends go, their calendar is full.”
She’d met the Van Alsteens’ son only once, and he’d seemed decent enough. A little reserved, but polite and relatively nice. Clearly first impressions weren’t always accurate. “That’s horrible, Helen. He only lives a little over an hour away.”
“It’s not that J.W. doesn’t care about us, because he does. He phones most Saturdays and he never forgets our birthdays. It’s simply an unfortunate fact that children move away and move on with their lives. That’s why I cherish what Jack and I have together. It makes our son’s absence a little more tolerable because we still have each other.”
All the more reason why she was glad she’d stayed close to her father. All the more reason why she didn’t want to raise this baby alone. Making it work with Matt meant more now than ever. “I really do wish you could keep the chapel open. It’s always been such an integral part of this community.”
“Even if I could find someone to take over the officiating duties, the chapel needs work. The roof needs a few repairs and the whole place needs painting, inside and out. Oh, and the plumbing is a mess.”
“Surely you can hire someone around here to take care of all that.”
“Jack’s as tight as a guy wire when it comes to money,” she said. “He always insisted on doing everything himself to save a few dollars. The fees we charge go into the chapel’s upkeep, and what’s left goes into a college fund for the grandchildren. He’s determined to make certain Luke and Mindy have all the money they need for school that he didn’t have growing up. Never mind they have a father who does quite well financially.”
Jack and Matt were cut from the same cloth. “I’m so sorry, Helen. I just wish I could do something.”
“There is something,” she said, a thoughtful look on her face. “Tell me when your baby’s due.”
Rachel was shocked senseless. “How did you know? I haven’t even told Matt yet.”
“Actually, I only suspected you might be pregnant. You’ve never been a big eater, so that was the first clue. You also haven’t had your usual glass of wine. And the most telling, you kept touching your belly earlier today, and you’ve been doing it tonight.”
She hadn’t even been aware of that, and she wondered if perhaps Matt had noticed, too. If he suspected anything, he would have asked. Then again, maybe he didn’t want to know. “I’m not sure of the exact due date. I just confirmed it right before we left to come here. I haven’t even been to the doctor.”
Helen studied her with concern. “You said Matt doesn’t know. Is there a reason why you’re waiting to tell him?”
So many reasons she could spend the rest of the night reciting. “I’m not sure how well he’s going to take it. And the weekend’s been going so good so far, I don’t want to spoil it with news that might ruin our progress.”
“He’ll be thrilled, Rachel. What man wouldn’t?”
The man she’d married. “I just feel I need to wait until the right time.” When that right time might be still remained to be seen. “Were you worried when you became pregnant so soon after you miscarried?”
“Of course, but not only because I feared losing another baby. I worried that I could be trying to replace my other child. But don’t believe that for a minute. Life does go on, and your next child could never be a replacement for the first. That precious little one will take its place in your heart, right beside the son you lost.”
“Thank you for putting it in perspective.” Rachel summoned all her willpower to keep from giving in to the emotional meltdown that had been threatening all night. Instead, she put on a shaky smile that she hoped didn’t look forced. “Since it doesn’t appear our boys are coming back anytime soon, what do you say to joining them?”
“I say let’s do. I wouldn’t mind shooting a game or two and showing them up. Between the two of us, surely we can take them.”
“We surely can try.”
Before Rachel could get out of her chair, Helen laid a hand on her arm. “Honey, I want you to do me a favor.”
“All you have to do is
ask.”
“Take tonight and find a quiet place in your soul,” Helen said. “Forget about all the regrets and should-haves and, above all, the anger. Try to recapture what you once had with your dear husband. Just love Matthew like you’ll never have the chance again.”
* * *
“ARE YOU OKAY TO DRIVE?”
Not at all surprised by the question, Matt stuck the keys into the ignition and turned on the truck. “Did you see me have a beer?”
“No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
He hadn’t expected an apology, only her usual doubt. He was mighty pleased she hadn’t belabored the point. “Tell you what. If you’re worried, you can give me a Breathalyzer test.”
She snapped her fingers. “Darn. I didn’t bring one.”
“Not a problem. We’ll improvise.”
Before she had a chance to protest, he leaned over and kissed her thoroughly. Kissed her until he almost asked if they could take this little test into the backseat. But he didn’t want to push his luck.
“Are you satisfied I’m okay to drive?” he asked after he pulled back.
She cleared her throat. “I’m convinced. I was about to ask you to turn on the heater, but I’m not sure that’s necessary.”
He grinned. “Just think of me as your own personal heater.”
He was about to kiss her again when his cell started ringing. He took the phone out of his pocket and offered it to Rachel. “See who it is. If it’s Chase, I’ll take it.”
She looked at it for a second and frowned. “It’s Helen.”
He almost took the cell back in case it was bad news, but he didn’t want to borrow trouble. “Go ahead and talk to her.”
“Hi, Helen.” After a few seconds, she said, “We had a great time, too.” Another bout of silence passed before Rachel laughed like she’d heard a good joke. “I’ll tell him. Have a nice night and I’ll stop by before we leave on Monday.”
He didn’t like being reminded they had to go home in a day’s time. “What’s so funny?”