Why hadn’t Shelby come to the hospital today? Did he want her to? What would he even say if she showed up right now? He didn’t know. He wanted to forgive her, but a small sliver of him was still pissed off at all her lies. And if he did forgive her, pretend like none of this happened, would that sliver fester into something more than anger? Would he eventually grow to hate her?
Jesus.
Restless, he muted the TV again and grabbed his cell phone from the over-bed table. On a whim, he tried Greer’s number for the simple reason he missed hearing his older brother’s voice. Didn’t really expect an answer—
And sat up in shock when Greer’s deep voice came on the line. “What’s wrong?”
He exhaled the tension he hadn’t known he’d been carrying since Greer disappeared. “What isn’t wrong? Where the fuck are you?”
Greer said nothing for several seconds. “There was something I needed to take care of.”
“And you’re not going to tell me what it is?”
“No. But I might not be around for a while, so you’ll have to watch over our brothers for me. Especially Vaughn. I’m afraid he’s driving himself straight off a cliff.”
Reece snorted. “I feel like I’m right there with him, riding shotgun.”
Static silence dragged out over the line.
“Reece,” Greer said eventually. “I don’t know what all’s going on there, but you can handle it. Dad always knew you’d make something of yourself. Something big, something more than any of the rest of us. He’d be proud of you.”
A hard lump took up residence in Reece’s throat. “I miss him. Every day.”
“We all do.” Greer’s voice was rough, and he cleared his throat. “But Mom? She’d kick your ass for pushing Shelby away.”
Reece groaned. Greer wasn’t even here and hadn’t been for days. How could he possibly know this was about Shelby?
“Because I’m not an idiot,” Greer said and shit, did the guy have mind-reading abilities or what?
“This call has nothing to do with Shelby.”
“If not, it should.” Greer pushed out a sigh. “Listen, I was wrong to tell you to end things with her. We were all wrong, and Mom would smack the rest of us for sticking our noses in your personal life.”
“No, you weren’t wrong. Shelby’s been lying to me from the start.”
“Yeah,” Greer said softly. “I know.”
Figured. Reece leaned back in bed and shut his eyes, too tired to care that Shelby wasn’t the only one he loved who had been keeping secrets. “I’m not even going to ask how.”
“Good. Don’t. And what you do now about Shelby is your choice, but we were wrong to interfere. Thing is, all of us, we’ve always felt like we’ve had to protect you because you’re…”
“A computer nerd?” Reece suggested dryly.
Greer snorted out a gruff laugh. “Well, yeah. You’re not like the rest of us. You don’t have the same…brutality in you. I don’t know if it’s because you never saw combat or if you were just born without the gene that makes the rest of us—”
“Aggressive? Belligerent? Combative? Thick-skulled?”
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. We’re knuckle-dragging mouth breathers.”
Reece rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “I’m not like you guys, but that doesn’t make me weak.”
“I know. In some ways, it makes you the strongest of us all.” There was a short pause, then Greer said, “I have to go, but first lemme say I think you should forgive Shelby. She hasn’t had a lot of good in her life until you came along. But that’s your decision, not mine. However it shakes out…just do what makes you happy.”
“I could say the same to you,” Reece murmured, but the line had already gone dead. He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a long time.
Do what makes you happy.
Well, he sure as fuck wasn’t happy sitting here in this hospital. In fact, he hadn’t been happy since he walked away from Shelby. Sure, he had every right to his anger, but was he angry enough to completely give up on her?
She hasn’t had a lot of good in her life…
No. He wasn’t that angry. Despite it all, he still loved her. It hadn’t been the Xanax or fear talking when he reached that conclusion on the bathroom floor. And if he’d learned anything from his parents—and from his brothers—it was that love wasn’t easy, wasn’t neat and tidy, and sometimes wasn’t even fun. But it was worth the trouble.
And he didn’t want to lose it, wasn’t ready to give up on her.
Reece shoved up off the bed and shuffled over to the closet for his bag of personal belongings. Fuck this. If his wife wasn’t going to come to him here, he’d just have to drag his sorry ass home to her.
Chapter Thirty
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jude said when he opened his door the following morning to see Reece standing there. “You should still be in the hospital.”
“I checked myself out last night.”
Jude shook his head and stepped back, opening the door wider. “You’re supposed to be the smart one, remember?”
He stepped inside. “Yeah, but I’m also a Wilde.”
“And there’s no hope for us as a species. C’mon, sit down before you fall down.” Jude motioned to the living room in a sweeping gesture with his coffee mug. “Libby’s in the kitchen making breakfast. I’d offer you coffee, but that didn’t go so well for you last time.”
“Oh, man.” He groaned as he lowered himself to the couch. “I’m never going to live that down.”
“Eh, eventually.” Jude sat in a recliner and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands linked in front of him. “Okay. Why are you here?”
“I went home last night. Shelby wasn’t there.”
“Well, what did you expect? You told her to leave, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I did. I’m good at opening my trap and saying things I don’t mean.” He lifted his gaze and felt like a heel all over again for some of the things he’d said to Jude in the past. If anyone understood what he was getting at here, it’d be his youngest brother. “I see you when I look at her.”
Obviously uncomfortable, Jude glanced away and sat back in his chair. “Dude. I love you, but that’s just nasty.”
“Not like that. Jesus, you can be such a douchebag sometimes.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“A douchebag with a five-year-old’s comebacks.”
Back on familiar ground, Jude grinned, all smug and unapologetic. He picked up his coffee mug again, lifted it to his lips. Drank. Waited in silence for Reece to continue, which said something about the level of his smugness, because the youngest Wilde brother was not known for his patience.
Reece heaved out a breath in frustration. “What I mean is everyone has always kept her down, talked down to her. Like we did to—no, like I did to you. Nobody has ever given her a chance to be something more. Including me.” His throat tightened. “I want to be the one to finally give her that chance.”
Jude’s smile faded into a rare serious expression. “Bro, I’m going to ask you something, and I don’t want you to think about it. Just answer from your gut. Do you love Shelby?”
He hedged. “She’s my exact opposite…”
“Answer from your gut.” Jude patted his abs. “Stop thinking about it. Does the idea of not seeing her every day make your chest tighten up like you can’t breathe?”
“Yeah.”
“You love her?”
“I love her.” He tried out the words, and the world didn’t burst into flames around him. He couldn’t even remember why he thought it would, because the words felt satisfying as hell, like the last puzzle piece snapping into place and showing him the image of the rest of his life.
With Shelby.
If he could make it up to her.
He slumped back on the couch. “Oh shit. I fucked up. She’ll never forgive me.”
Jude lifted his mug in a toast. “You’ll be amazed at what your
woman is willing to forgive.”
Surprisingly, that bit of sage advice gave him a sliver of hope. After all, Libby had forgiven Jude his stupidity. Of course, it was after eight years, and the wounds between them had time to heal. Would he have to wait that long too? He didn’t want to, but if that’s what it took, he would. He’d do anything to win her forgiveness for being such a jackass.
Even if that meant he had to beg his annoying younger brother for help. “What do I need to do?”
Jude gave his best Dr. Evil laugh and rubbed his hands together. “Oh, am I going to enjoy this.”
“I swear,” Reece said through his teeth, “I will slug you.”
“Nah. You adore me.”
“Won’t stop me.”
Jude waggled his brows, then got serious again. “Tell me how you fucked up with her.”
Resigned, Reece explained the whole situation. The drugs Shelby was caught with, the undercover work she’d done, and even the marriage manipulation to get closer to him and his company. Before he finished, he paused and grabbed Jude’s coffee because his throat felt too tight, and he was afraid his voice would crack. “So that’s it. I didn’t react well. Basically told her to fuck off.”
Jude sat up straighter in his chair. “Wait. Shelby’s been working for this ATF agent for how long?”
“Six years.”
Jude scowled and sat back in his seat again. After a moment of thought, he called out, “Hey, Libs. Can you come in here for a sec?”
Libby appeared in the doorway drying her hands on a paper towel, and glanced between the two of them. “Something wrong?”
“Nah, just need your lawyer-y opinion.” He tilted his head back and tapped his lips with one finger. Smiling, she bent to give him a kiss.
Reece turned away from the couple as a hollow ache opened up in his chest where his heart used to be. He’d had that same playful, easy intimacy with Shelby until recently.
Jesus, he really had fucked up. Big time. But he’d make it better. Somehow.
“So,” Libby said, straightening away from her husband. She planted a hand on her hip and looked at Reece. “Don’t tell me you’re in legal trouble, Mr. Responsible.”
“No, not me.”
Her smile dissolved into a grimace. “It’s Shelby, isn’t it? I should’ve known. Sorry.”
“It’s not what you think, babe,” Jude said. “Can you answer me something hypothetically? And don’t jump to conclusions.”
She perched on the arm of Jude’s chair. “All right. Ask away.”
“How long is the statute of limitations for drug possession?”
She didn’t even have to think about it. “Five years.”
Reece came half out of his chair in surprise. “You’re sure?”
“Well, unless there are other mitigating factors…”
“For example?”
“Uh, if the hypothetical person we’re talking about has been in possession of the drugs for that entire length of time. The statute of limitations only kicks in once a crime ends, so if Shel—I mean, this hypothetical person were to still be in possession of the drugs, they could still be charged.”
“She’s not.”
“Then if no charges were ever brought against her in the first five years, she’s free and clear.” Libby raised a brow. “Can we stop being hypothetical now? What’s going on?”
As concisely as he could, Reece explained everything. When he was done, Libby shook her head. “No. That’s all wrong. This Agent Mallory is holding an empty threat over her head.”
Or at least he was until the firebomb at The Bean Gallery. Then he offered her protection as long as she continued to do his dirty work. That motherfucker.
“I need to look into this Agent Mallory.”
“If you want, I can help,” Libby offered.
Reece nodded. “I’d appreciate it.”
Jude grinned and pulled Libby down onto his lap, kissing her soundly. “Isn’t my wife brilliant?”
“Yeah, she is. Still don’t know what she sees in a knucklehead like you.”
“I ask myself that every day,” Jude murmured and gave his wife another quick kiss before setting her on her feet. He also stood. “And while Libby’s checking into your shifty ATF agent, we need to get moving. We have a lot of work to do if you want to win Shelby back.”
Wincing, Reece followed his brother. “I’m going to hate this, aren’t I?”
“Yup. And I’m gonna take lots of pictures.” Jude grabbed his coat from the nearby rack and held open the front door, motioning him to go first. “The Wall of Shame at the office will no longer belong only to me. It’s gonna be awesome.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The drive to the courthouse Monday morning was the longest of Shelby’s life. She’d stayed away from the hospital after Reece came back to consciousness, but had received updates on his condition by Cam and Eva, learning he had checked himself out several nights ago, and he’d been asking about her. Still, she’d kept her distance and ignored his calls. Partly because she was afraid of what he’d say now that he was lucid again. Partly because she was afraid she’d throw her pride to the wind and beg him for a second chance. She didn’t know if she could take getting shot down again, so she played the coward and avoided him, putting off the inevitable for as long as possible.
But today, the inevitable had arrived. He was going to file for the annulment, and she couldn’t stay away. Sometime over the weekend, her fear had mutated into anger. He couldn’t throw them away like this. Yes, she’d fucked up—big time—but what they had together was the kind of thing people spent their entire lives looking for. And call her selfish, but she wasn’t willing to let that go. She’d beg and plead and straight up sacrifice her pride in front of everyone at the courthouse if she had to. Whatever she needed to do to prove her love to him.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn’t see the man with the shock of blue hair in front of her until it was too late. She walked straight into him, and stumbled.
“Whoa.” He held out his hands to steady her, then did a double take. “Shelby?”
She was pretty sure her jaw hit the ground. “Reece?”
Then, at the same time, they both asked, “What are you wearing?”
For the first time since she’d known him, he was dressed down in jeans and sneakers. Under his jacket, he wore a graphic T-shirt of Pac Man eating a Hershey bar. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and a sexy scruff darkened his jaw. Oddly, he looked a lot like Jude, except for his glasses. And the blue he’d dyed into his hair.
“Oh.” Tears filled her eyes and she reached up to push a lock away from his forehead. “What did you do to your hair?”
“What happened to yours?” he countered, winding a strand around his finger.
She self-consciously ran a hand over her new color—a honey blond, as close to her natural color as she’d been in years. “I thought…maybe if I toned it down, you’d find me more…I don’t know. Acceptable, I guess.”
“Oh, Shelby.” His features softened in a way she’d never seen before and he held out his arms. “Come here.”
She hesitated, still playing with the ends of her new dye job. She couldn’t look at him, didn’t want him to see how vulnerable the admission had made her. Especially when the terror of rejection had her cold from the inside out.
“Shelby.” He hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to his. She saw tenderness there and the ever-present fire of desire, but there was also a bit of shame and some worry lurking in the depths of his eyes. “I have never found you unacceptable.” He tugged at a strand of her hair. “I find this unacceptable. A normal hair color? A business suit? For fuck’s sake, you’re even wearing pearls.”
She swallowed hard. “I thought you’d like it.”
He clasped her shoulders, rubbed. “This isn’t you, Shelby.”
“I thought— I don’t know. I guess I thought if I looked more the part of your wife, then maybe we could stay
married.”
“I don’t want a Stepford Wife.”
Even dressed like this, he still didn’t want her. God, that hurt. So much that she suddenly couldn’t breathe because of the pain in the center of her chest. She nodded and tried to turn away before the tears blurring her vision spilled down her cheeks.
Reece pulled her into his arms. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry. I was—” Her breath shuddered out on a sob and fat tears spilled from her eyes, screwing her carefully applied makeup all to hell. “I was hoping this would change things between us.”
“I don’t want things to change.”
“I understand.”
“Hey.” That was all he said, then he waited in silence until she reined in the sobs and gazed up at him again. He cupped her cheeks in his palms, swiping away her tears with his thumbs. “Why are you crying?”
She sniffled. “I don’t want an annulment. I love you.”
The dimple in his left cheek flashed and he pulled a stack of folded papers out of his jacket pocket. “I never filled out the paperwork.”
“You…” She blinked at the empty pages. “Why not?”
“Shelby.” Again he waited until she lifted her gaze to his. “I let Jude pick out my clothes and dye my hair blue. Do you honestly think I’d show up to court looking like this if I wanted to end our marriage? I love you, and I want you as my wife. But I want the real you, not this cookie-cutter person you’re trying to turning yourself into. A person I foolishly tried to turn you into. I want—” He stopped short, closed his eyes and shook his head, then corrected himself, “No, I need the color you bring into my life. Before Vegas, I was not happy. I was existing, not living. I just didn’t realize it until you showed me that happiness is coming home to find you doing yoga to reggae music. It’s sneaking away from dinner parties for closet sex. It’s crazy pillows and paintings, whipped cream fights and getting dragged to a club in my tux and ending up covered in glow-in-the-dark paint.”
Wilde at Heart Page 24