by A. D. Ellis
Too choked up to speak, Kendrick disconnected the call. He stared up at the dark ceiling, lit only by a sliver of light from the hallway, and tried to prepare himself for the next day.
He’d be out of rehab.
He still had a long way to go.
If Bella was Tony’s, they’d deal with it. It wasn’t like he’d lose Jay’s love to Tony.
If Bella wasn’t Tony’s he still had to accept there was a very slim chance she was his own child. Would Jay want to find that guy?
No matter what, no questions asked, he loved that baby girl like she was his very own. She’d either get a daddy out of him, or an unbelievably attached ‘uncle’ if she was really Tony’s.
Kendrick, she looks just like her daddy.
She had dark hair. Tony and Kendrick both had dark hair. Her eyes weren’t a specific color just yet. He never thought babies looked like real people. Just who did Tony think Bella looked like?
Flopping over on the bed, careful not to jar his shoulder, Kendrick sighed, “I should have bought Go the F**k to Sleep for myself in rehab. I think I need it.”
**********
He stretched his legs out as he stood from the car. His mom and dad had picked him up from rehab. The drive could have been awkward, but his parents made it as easy as possible.
“Kendrick, I’m sorry we didn’t see the issues you were having all those years ago or over these past few years. And I’m sorry we either didn’t see the problems you were having with the pills, or we turned a blind eye to them.” Audrey stated these things matter-of-factly. “In all honesty, I’m ashamed to admit I think I turned a blind eye to them more than most because it made me feel that my messed up past maybe caused you to be more likely than most to mess up too. And I’m sorry I didn’t trust Jay when she first came to us.”
“Mom, we all screw up. You and I just do it bigger and better than most, right?” Kendrick smiled at his mom. “And we can work the other things out with Dr. Parks. You’ve apologized to Jay and me both. It’s okay to move past it.”
He looked around and saw various vehicles parked in front of Jay’s place. The unknown black car was likely Tony’s.
With a hug from his mom and dad, he waved goodbye to them and walked through the door.
Every cousin was there. Tony stood silently in the background, holding Bella. With his knees threatening to buckle under him, Kendrick made a beeline for Jay. Gathering her in his arms, he kissed her thoroughly. Holding her face in his hands, he whispered roughly, “I will never leave you alone again.”
Jay smiled through tears, “Welcome home, Kendrick.”
Katie and Zoey wiped away tears of joy, as the guys just smiled.
Tony cleared his throat. Walking toward Kendrick with Bella in his arms, he smiled. “I’ll be back to visit, and I’ll be the best damn godfather I can be. Take care of my girls, treat them right, or you can answer to me.” Tony leaned in to kiss Bella’s head, “Bye-bye, Bella.”
Pulling Kendrick into a hug, he clapped him on the back. “Be good to each other. Give me a call if you ever need a third…” All eyes in the room bugged out. “…pair of hands when it comes to diapers or potty training or teaching her to ride a bike. I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”
Laughter bubbled over then.
“Jay, sweetie, thank you for being my friend and being there for me. We were good together, but nothing I did ever made your eyes shine the way they do for this guy here. Take care of you.” He kissed Jay’s cheek.
With a quick wave, he walked to his car and drove off.
**********
“Shhh, they’ll hear us.” Jay giggled as Kendrick tossed her on the bed.
He walked to the door, threw it open and stuck his head into the hall. “Sawyer? Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re aware I’m planning on having lots of loud sex with Jay for the next several hours, right?”
“Yep, that’s why we’re taking Bella for a drive over to Grandma Cindy’s house until evening.”
“Good plan, boys. Enjoy.” Kendrick started to close the door, but hesitated. Walking into the hallway to where Sawyer was packing up the diaper bag, he added a couple diapers, another outfit and blanket, and two extra packs of breast milk.
“Just in case. You never know.” Leaning down to nuzzle Bella’s downy soft head, he whispered, “Have fun with your mannies, Bella Marie. I’m going to ravish your pretty momma now.”
“Kendrick! Don’t talk dirty to the baby!” Jay hollered from the bedroom.
“Go on, go have fun. We’ve got the baby all taken care of.” Sawyer shooed him back to the bedroom while Luke loaded Bella into the car seat.
Before they were even out the door, Kendrick had pounced on Jay. “Mmmm, post pregnancy sex…is it as good as pregnancy sex? Let’s find out.” He wagged his brows at her. “Best part is I don’t have to worry about poking the baby’s eye out.”
Jay laughed and smacked at him. “That was never a danger, and you know it.”
“Oh, I think you underestimate the reach of this big boy.” He hefted himself in his hand.
Jay rolled her eyes.
By the time Sawyer and Luke returned with Bella, Kendrick and Jay had worn themselves out.
“Damn, you two look like porn stars who just finished a marathon recording session. Go shower and sleep. We’ll stay through the first late night feeding.”
Kendrick gratefully steered Jay toward the bathroom, a hot shower and sleep would be the perfect ending to a perfect day. Looking over his shoulder at Sawyer and Luke, Kendrick couldn’t help but smile as the two men fussed over Bella. That baby girl was going to be the most loved and protected child on the planet.
After a scorching hot shower, Kendrick gathered Jay in his arms as they settled into bed. Their bed.
“So, was Tony upset?” Kendrick hadn’t been able to get a good read on the man before he drove off.
“Mmmm, it’s hard to say. I think he was shocked and petrified at first, but then the idea grew on him. I think he sort of liked the idea of playing house, helping to raise Bella. And I know he would have been there for us every step of the way. But, in the long run, I think he was relieved to just get godfather duty. This way, he can spoil, play, and pamper her, but have no real responsibility or obligations.”
He reveled in having Jay cuddled against his chest. No pill could ever bring him the euphoric feeling of having this woman by his side.
“What about you? If we open that envelope and it says you aren’t the father, do you still want to take on the responsibility and obligation of raising Bella for the next eighteen years?” Jay’s eyes looked up at him expectantly.
“Hell no.”
When she gasped, he chuckled, “I plan on raising Bella and the rest of our kids for the next eighteen plus years.”
“And if you are the father. Will it change anything?” Jay furrowed her brow.
“Not at all. Either way, I’m marrying her mother the first chance I get and making both of my girls Jordans.” He kissed her neck, her ear, her mouth. “Now, no more talking. Let’s sleep before the little beast needs the boob or her butt wiped.”
“Kendrick?”
“Yeah, Pixie?”
“I love you. Thank you for showing me what it truly means to be a family, to stand by someone, and to love unconditionally.” She kissed his chin.
He shook his head. “No, Pixie, I should be thanking you.”
“For what?”
“For showing me it’s okay to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, and for saving me. I love you.”
“Wow, we’re pretty good for each other, huh?” Jay smiled at him.
“Well, take away the unplanned pregnancy, unknown father, unwed mother, prescription pill addiction, suicide and depression, yeah, I’d say we’ve really got it going on.” He laughed at her snort of laughter before kissing her. “Joking aside, you are my heart, my soul, my forever.”
She sighed, “At the risk of sounding completely c
heesy, you complete me. You really do.”
“Are we doing cheesy movie lines now? Well then, Jaymison Marie, you had me at ‘Wanna have a threesome?’”
Their laughter slowly faded, and they slept with thoughts of the future dancing brightly through their dreams.
Epilogue
The wedding took place in a crowded courthouse. It wasn’t crowded because of others using the space, it was just hard to fit that many family members into the small room.
“I think this is quite possibly the largest courthouse wedding I’ve ever seen.” The justice laughed.
“You know this family, Judge. Go big or go home.” Kendrick laughed.
Jay handed Bella to Katie before turning to take Kendrick’s hands.
“I understand you both have written something. Jaymison, you may begin.” The jovial old man nodded at her.
“Kendrick, I wasn’t looking for love. More like I was running from anything resembling love. But you somehow snared me, without even meaning to, and showed me a world of love and family I never knew existed. Today, I vow to love, honor, and cherish you. But I also vow to support you through the good and the bad, kick your ass if it becomes necessary, and continue the love of family you’ve shown to me.” She slid a simple band on his finger to cover the tattoo ring Kyle had inked not long ago. Even when his ring was off, Jay would be there.
“Jaymison, you found me at what I thought was my lowest point. You gave me a reason to fight through the blackness. Little did I know the depths of darkness that awaited me. Your love, your courage, and your heart saved me. Today I vow to love, honor, and cherish you. But I also vow to support you, protect you, and let you kick my ass whenever necessary. Thank you for being my heart.” He slid the band over the K on her finger.
Taking Bella into his arms, he kissed her head. “Bella, today I vow to be your daddy forever. I will love you, cherish you, teach you, and protect you. You’ve been mine since the moment I first heard of your existence, and no slip of paper will ever change that. Bella Marie Jordan, I love you forever.”
The little envelope containing the results of his paternity test sat snuggly in the safety deposit box at the bank. Kendrick had stared at the envelope for over an hour while rocking Bella one evening.
“Jay, I don’t want to open it. She’s mine no matter what this slip of paper says. Nothing will change that. Let’s lock it away in case we ever need it for medical issues, but I don’t need to have a test to prove to me this baby girl is mine.”
The other man who could have been the father was found dead from an overdose in Florida. The eerily similar paths Kendrick and this man took were not lost on Kendrick. The difference? Love and support from family and friends, a determined woman, and a beautiful baby. Without those things, Kendrick’s path could have been much different.
And so the envelope sat, unopened, while Kendrick, Jay, and Bella happily became a family of three.
When Jay tossed the bouquet, laughter abounded as it broke into two pieces. Katie catching one piece and Luke grabbing the other before it landed on the judge’s head.
Decker and Sawyer could only smirk at each other. Twins did everything together, right? Maybe a double wedding?
**********
“I wanted to thank you all for being here for me today, it means a lot.” Kendrick stood at the edge of the park with his family surrounding him.
“I recently heard a song by Pink called Beam Me Up. It’s a very touching song about the loss of a loved one, especially a child. There are days when I’d give anything to talk to my son just for a moment. I was lucky enough to see him in a dream once. He’s a beautiful boy, and I wish he would have had the chance to live in our family.” Kendrick cleared his throat, fighting the tears as Jay took his hand.
“I wanted to release butterflies today in memory of my son, Ricky. And in memory of all the other babies taken from this world. Like butterflies that are gone too soon, these babies’ lives were cut short, but they live on in the beauty surrounding us.” With a single tear running down his face, Kendrick opened his own small box of butterflies as the rest of the family opened theirs.
The family stood quietly for several moments watching the butterflies flutter away.
“I love you, Ricky.” Kendrick whispered as he pulled Jay to his side and cuddled Bella to his chest.
**********
From the Author
I started writing my first book (For Nicky) in October 2013; I had no clue if I could do it, and even less clue about what to do when I finished it. About halfway through that book, I realized that the mean, terrible sister, Audrey, had a story to tell; I started Because of Beckett as soon as I finished For Nicky.
I had no intention of continuing the Torey Hope Series. However, readers had fallen in love with the stories and they asked for more. I created a heartwarming Christmas novella to lead into the third full-length novel, Loving Josie.
One day, in the shower (where else do great ideas come from?), I realized that the younger generation of Torey Hope had some stories to tell. I ran the idea by readers, and they loved the prospect of continuing the Torey Hope Series. So, voila, Torey Hope: The Later Years was born!
The first three books in The Later Years can be found on my Amazon author page (author.to/ADEllisAmazon). The titles are Decker, Sawyer, and Zach.
One of these days, I’ll let the other characters and stories out of my head and create some new books and series; until then, I continue to fall in love with the hearts of my Torey Hope characters in each and every story.
THANK YOU FOR READING! I hope you enjoyed; please take a moment to leave a review. If you’re reading on a file/device that doesn’t take you to a review option, you may click here to leave a review on Amazon (author.to/ADEllisAmazon)
A.D. Ellis
Notes
I found these websites helpful in researching addiction and recovery. I hope, if you’re dealing with an addiction, you’re able to find assistance to begin your recovery.
http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/opiates-narcotics-recovery.htm
http://luxury.rehabs.com/drug-detox/opiate/
http://www.futuresofpalmbeach.com/drug-detox/coping-with-withdrawal-symptoms/
http://www.healthline.com/health/opiate-withdrawal#Overview1
https://www.addiction.com/3517/change-in-addiction-recovery/
https://www.addiction.com/3277/death-addiction-stages-grief-addiction-recovery/
http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/features/painkiller-addiction-warning-signs
http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/features/pain-medication-addiction
This page will help to explain the therapy Zoey is trained in and how it can help those with pain like Kendrick deals with. A big thanks to my friend Megg for giving me details about this therapy.
http://neurokinetictherapy.com/
BOOKS KENDRICK GOT FOR BABY BELLA
Love You Forever http://amzn.to/1n5ecYe
On the Night You Were Born http://amzn.to/1RZDhiS
The Monster at the End of this Book http://amzn.to/1RZDpik
Go the F**k to Sleep http://amzn.to/1RZDRx9
In searching for funny books Kendrick may have registered for, I came across a whole page of them. Here are some hilarious titles you may want to read for yourself or purchase for friends.
Funny books about babies and children: http://amzn.to/1RZDCSK
About the Author
A.D. Ellis spends the majority of her days loving and wrangling two school-aged children, a husband, and a Yorkie with a stubborn streak a mile wide before heading to the inner city of Indiana to teach a challenging group of alternative education students in grades third through sixth. Most days she hits the gym after school in hopes of running and lifting away the stress and headaches of the day before picking up her children and squeezing a whole day’s worth of loving and living into the too-short hours before bed. It’s no wonder Ms. Ellis lives for the slower, easier days she gets to enjoy on breaks from school
.
Growing up in a small farming town in southern Indiana, A.D. is grateful to her mother for passing along the love of reading. With her nose constantly stuck in a book, Ms. Ellis became accustomed to friends and acquaintances snickering and shaking their heads at her love of reading.
A.D. never dreamed of being anything but a teacher, although there are certain times of the year when she laments her career choice. Ms. Ellis had a story idea floating in her head for about a year. After persistent prodding from a friend, A.D. put pen to paper and began writing her first story in October 2013. From that moment on, she was hooked. Taking the people and stories from her head and sharing them with readers is a scary, exhausting, rewarding, and fulfilling experience which A.D. plans to continue until there are no more stories banging around in her mind.
A.D. Ellis’ work can be found Amazon and other platforms. Please contact her on Facebook, Twitter, or her website.
Amazon http://author.to/ADEllisAmazon
Facebook www.facebook.com/adellisauthor
Twitter www.twitter.com/ADEllisAuthor
Website http://adellisauthor.webs.com
Acknowledgements
This is always one of the hardest parts of finishing a book, but quite possibly the most important part. It’s so hard because I fear I’ll miss someone who has helped me out, supported me, been a listening ear, or offered advice and encouragement. If I miss listing your name here, please know it wasn’t on purpose, and I love you dearly!
I wouldn’t have been able to complete this book without input from many readers who have dealt with addiction/suicide/recovery. If you answered any of my many questions, THANK YOU for making this story what it is. To C and C, thank you for being willing to share such a deeply personal part of your life with me. I appreciate your openness and honesty more than you can imagine. And I’m amazed at your ability to overcome the obstacles in your life.