Fourth Down

by Kirsten DeMuzio

  I pressed my hands to his chest for balance, because his words were making my knees weak. Although I was often too nice and avoided confrontation at all costs, in the important moments I was able to speak up. This was one of those rare moments.

  “So, do it,” I whispered, holding his gaze and silently praying he wouldn’t refuse me.

  Ford dropped his forehead to mine and swore softly. Before I could second guess my boldness, his lips were on mine, soft but firm. Even better than I had imagined, and my lips parted on a sigh. Ford swept his tongue inside, boldly possessing my mouth. My hands slid up his chest and around the back of his neck, where I held on for dear life.

  I’d never been kissed like this, and I never wanted him to stop. His hands were restless on my body, one on my back pulling me tight against him, the other on my face gently caressing my cheek with his thumb and angling my head to deepen the kiss. One of his legs fit snugly between mine, and his thigh pressed against me, causing me to moan and press closer. He was hard against my belly, and his obvious arousal only caused my own to burn brighter.

  Breaking away, Ford dropped his head to kiss my neck and suck on my earlobe, sending shocks of pleasure through my body. My breathing was heavy and uneven, and even though I wasn’t terribly experienced, I knew this was unlike anything I would ever experience with someone else. Ford pushed all my buttons simply by existing, and now that he was touching me…I wanted more. So much more.

  Chapter Eight

  Ford

  The soft sounds of pleasure escaping from Poppy’s mouth while I kissed my way along her neck were driving me crazy. She had a firm grip on the back of my head, holding me to her, and the way she was rocking against my thigh let me know she was just as aroused as I was. Before I captured her lips with mine again, I needed to stop this before it went any farther. If I kissed her again and felt her tongue against mine, I might not be able to stop.

  Gripping her hips to keep her from following me, I tore my mouth away from the soft skin of her throat and took a step back. For a second before she realized I was gone, I took in the sight of Poppy with her head thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted. She looked more beautiful than should be allowed. When she noticed I wasn’t just shifting my focus, her eyes opened and were clouded with desire. It took every ounce of self control I possessed not to move back in and take what I wanted.

  “What’s wrong?” Poppy asked me, her voice husky. She licked her full bottom lip, and I had to shut my eyes for a moment against the visual of her luscious mouth.

  “I’m sorry, Poppy. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  Hurt flashed through her eyes, and she opened her mouth to protest.

  “Shh,” I said pressing my finger to her lips. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it, because…damn Poppy.”

  “Then why did you stop?”

  “Because I’m not what you need.”

  She scoffed and knocked my hands off her hips so she could replace them with her own. “How do you know what I need?”

  I wished I could memorize her as she looked right then with her hands on her hips, her eyes alight with desire and annoyance, snowflakes in her hair, and her mouth thoroughly kissed.

  “I know you’re not a one-night stand kind of girl, Poppy. And that’s all I have to offer right now. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life, but I’m not a relationship kind of guy.”

  Her bottom lip stuck out slightly in a pout. “What if I’ll take whatever you’re offering?”

  That wasn’t what I expected her to say, and for a moment I almost took her up on it. I hadn’t actually dated anyone since I had moved back to town three years ago, and when I was interested in female companionship I didn’t have to work too hard to get it. The idea of taking Poppy back to her place and losing myself in her was tempting, so very tempting. But I had the feeling one night with her wouldn’t be enough. She was turned on right now, but she would regret it in the morning. The last thing I wanted to be to her was a regret.

  “I do care about you, Poppy, in my own way and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I can barely make it through the day without biting someone’s head off, let alone be the kind of guy you should be with.”

  She was silent as she studied me through hazel eyes. It was like she was making up her mind whether she was going to accept what I said or demand I take her home and pick up where we left off. Lord, I was in trouble if she chose the latter. I was strong now, but if she begged I wasn’t sure I could refuse her.

  With a sigh, Poppy’s shoulders slumped and her gaze dropped to the ground. “Fine, Ford. I’m not going to throw myself at you. I can only take so much rejection in one day.”

  “Hey, hey. I’m not rejecting you. I’m trying not to hurt you.”

  She rolled her eyes and walked to the passenger door, yanked it open and climbed in. Okay, I guess she was ready to go home. On the ride home, she looked away from me and out the window, sitting as close to the door as her seatbelt would allow. It was a far cry from the way she was pressed against me earlier, and I felt the distance she was putting between us. It wasn’t a good feeling.

  When we got to her place, I got out and walked her to the door.

  She unlocked her door and turned back to face me. “Thanks for fixing my car,” she said, looking defeated and sad.

  I hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but that’s exactly what I had done. Though I knew this wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad as if I had slept with her and then did what I always do. Walk away. Poppy deserved better.

  I wanted to say something that would make it all better, but I didn’t know what that would be. So, I just stood there with my hands shoved in my pockets so I wouldn’t reach for her.

  “I’ll see you on Tuesday,” Poppy said walking inside her apartment. “Oh, and Ford? If you could start being mean to me again, that would make it easier for me to not want to kiss you.” The door shut in my face.

  I was halfway down the stairs when it opened again, and Poppy stuck her head out. “And don’t you dare kiss me again unless you’re ready to finish what you started,” she scolded with her eyebrows pulled together in a scowl.

  I gave her a thumbs up over my shoulder and said, “Got it.” Continuing down the stairs and getting the hell away from her was the only thing I could focus on right now. She was always so nice and pleasant, and to see that cute frown on her face made me want to go back up and kiss it away.

  But I got her message loud and clear - she was basically telling me not to play with her emotions, and I respected that. It was exactly why I put a stop to this in the first place.

  The night was long and held little sleep for me. No matter how far under the pillow I buried my head, I could still taste Poppy on my lips and smell the sweet floral scent that was uniquely hers. I drifted off somewhere close to dawn only to be awakened by my alarm a few short hours later.

  Staring up at the ceiling, I felt uneasy about how we had left things last night. Over the last couple of weeks I thought we had become friends, but with how things went down last night I wasn’t sure how it would be between us. I definitely still wanted Poppy as my friend, even if it would be torture not to touch her whenever she was near. Now that I’d had a taste, and God it was so much better than I had imagined, it would be hard to keep my hands off.

  Scoffing at myself, I thought how little interest I had been able to drum up in women over the last few years. When I was still playing ball, the girls were plentiful and easy. After I came home, I rarely had the urge to put in the effort it took to get laid. There had been a few girls, but nothing like what I was feeling for Poppy. If I was being honest with myself I would say I probably was depressed after my injury and even now. But I just didn’t care enough to do anything about it. Until now.

  Poppy had woken up something inside me, and I didn’t want to lose it even if it meant limiting myself to being just friends with her. But would she accept my friendship after I turned down her invitation last night? She seemed pretty pissed
when I left her.

  Rolling over to check the clock, I saw I had just enough time to get down to the community center before her Saturday morning yoga class started. She may have told me to be mean to her again, but that just wasn’t going to happen. I was going to be the best damn friend she’d ever had, because the truth was I couldn’t stand the thought of her not being in my life somehow.

  After throwing on a pair of gym shorts and a sweatshirt, I covered my messy hair with a baseball cap and ran down the stairs.

  “Hey, Ma. I’m going out for a while. Do you need anything?”

  “No, I’m fine. Where are you going so early on a Saturday?”

  I hesitated a moment before telling the truth. “I’m going to do yoga.”

  My mom just smiled at me and didn’t seem surprised at all by my new exercise routine. “Have fun. Tell Poppy I said hello.”

  “Sure thing. I’ll bring back something for lunch. Call me if you need me.”

  I didn’t have one of those yoga mat things, so hopefully Poppy had an extra again that I could borrow. Stopping at the front desk on the way in, I paid for the class and slipped into the room just as everyone was starting to stretch. Poppy’s eyes went wide at the sight of me, then narrowed as I approached her.

  “Sorry I’m late, Miss Mitchell,” I said in the nicest voice I could muster. “I didn’t have time to get my own mat. Can I borrow one of yours?”

  She grabbed my arm and pulled us to the side of the room, not that there was any privacy with every pair of eyes watching us intently.

  “What are you doing?” She hissed at me.

  “I’m here for the yoga class. I paid and everything.”

  She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “Really, Ford? I told you not to be nice to me. That should be really easy for you.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her innocently. “I’m really just here for the yoga.”

  “Whatever,” she grumbled, grabbing an extra mat and hurtling it at my chest.

  Poppy took the class through the same series of stretches I remembered from the last class. Most of the poses were still excruciatingly hard for me, but I could see how this would be a good addition to my workout.

  “Okay, everyone. The last pose for today will be a new one. Do I have a volunteer to show the class?” A couple of the women raised their hands, but Poppy’s eyes swept past them and landed squarely on me, even though I hadn’t raised my hand.

  “Ford! Thanks for volunteering. Come on up here,” she said in a sweet voice laced with arsenic.

  Fine, if this was her way of getting back at me, I could take it. I strolled up the front of the class and waited for Poppy to show me what to do. She started out in the Runners’ pose, which was easy enough, but then she twisted her body in an unimaginable way. One arm was wound around her leg and the other was straight up in the air. How the hell was she doing that?

  “Your turn.”

  I frowned at her but got into position. Well, sort of.

  “So, you see how my chest was opened up and I was looking up to the ceiling?”

  Yeah, I saw it. That doesn’t mean I can do it.

  “Now do you see how Ford’s shoulder is still pointing to the side? It needs to be up towards the ceiling.” She put both hands on my left shoulder and pushed it back.

  “Aaaah! Fuck!” I shouted as a painful stretching sensation ripped through my entire upper body.

  “Breathe through the stretch, Ford,” she said sweetly before walking around the class to help everyone else get into position. From the corner of my eye I didn’t see her dislocating anyone else’s shoulder. Lucky me.

  When class was over and I stood rubbing my sore shoulder, Poppy gave me a smug smile. Oh, you can’t get rid of me that easily, sweetheart.

  “Thanks for the workout. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said with a wink as I walked out the door.

  Poppy seemed less surprised but equally as annoyed when I showed up for her yoga class again on Sunday morning. This time I got away without any injuries as she basically ignored me the entire time. Monday I had to go the whole day without seeing her, but I made sure to be home when she arrived for her shift on Tuesday. I even suggested to my mom that she have Poppy bring her to the pub for dinner.

  I was mixing a drink when Poppy and my mom walked in and took a seat at the bar. Perfect. Tuesday nights weren’t too busy, so I could spend some time hanging out with them. I dropped a couple of menus and two glasses of ice water in front of them.

  My mom pushed the menu back to me and said, “It doesn’t matter what I eat anymore, so give me the greasiest thing you’ve got with the highest calorie count.” Poppy laughed, but turned her eyes to me. The annoyance I had been getting used to was gone and replaced with sadness. My mom’s joke was funny in a morbid sort of way, but it just reminded us of the countdown to her death.

  “Oh, come on you two. Loosen up,” my mom said.

  Poppy managed a small smile, and I just shook my head. Okay, mom. I’ll just loosen up about you dying.

  “What do you want to eat, Poppy?” I asked.

  Her eyes scanned the menu, and she said, “I’ll have whatever Maggie’s having.” That was a surprise. From the dinners she cooked for my mom, I knew Poppy was a healthy eater.

  She shrugged. “Sometimes a girl needs to loosen up.”

  I put their orders in and waited on a few customers at the other end of the bar. By the time their food was up, I was due for my break. Shelly came over to man the bar and I took my mom and Poppy over to a table to eat.

  “So, Ford. I got a call from Coach Hawkins this morning. He hadn’t heard back from you about the job offer,” my mom said with a raised eyebrow. Jesus, leave it to my mom not to beat around the bush.

  I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck. “Yeah, well. I don’t have anything to say about it.”

  Poppy was listening to our conversation with interest but didn’t say anything. My mom turned to her and filled her in. Thanks, mom.

  “Coach Hawkins was Ford’s coach at LSU. Apparently he has offered Ford a spot on his coaching team.”

  “Oh, wow! That’s great, Ford!” Poppy said enthusiastically, but her smile didn’t seem to reach her eyes.

  “It might be great, but I’m not taking it…I can’t leave here now.”

  My mom reached across the table to cover my hand with hers. “Coach Hawkins said the job won’t start until April. That’s four months from now.”

  I knew where she was going with this, and I just wanted to clamp my hand over her mouth to keep her from talking about the elephant in the room.

  “I’ll be gone by then, Ford. It’s time for you to make plans for your future.”

  And there it was. How could I make plans for after my mom died? It seemed like I would be looking forward to her being gone.

  “I told him that you would be down for an official interview and tour at the end of January. He’s already booked your flight and hotel, Ford.”

  My mouth dropped open in shock. “Seriously, Ma? You’re just planning out my life for me?”

  “Well, someone has to,” she retorted.

  The truth was that I was really interested in the job, but it seemed like a betrayal to my mom to make plans for when she was gone. What if her health turned around and she didn’t die? I knew this was highly unlikely, or even impossible, but I couldn’t help hoping.

  Poppy took my hand in hers under the table and said softly, “I think you should do this, Ford. Maggie’s right. You need to take steps forward.”

  “Fine. I’ll go down in January. But that doesn’t mean I’m taking the job.”

  My mom just smiled at me like she had won this argument, and Poppy squeezed my hand before letting it go. I wanted to grab her hand back, because it seemed like she was the only anchor in my crazy life right now.

  My break was over, so I left them to finish their food. Shortly after I returned to the bar, Grady and Josh came in, probably straight from the shop. They
saw my mom and made a beeline to her table. Both guys hugged her and shook Poppy’s hand as my mom introduced her. When they walked toward me, Grady was grinning and Josh waggled his eyebrows at me. Shit.

  Sliding onto a bar stool, Grady pushed his long blonde hair behind his ears and said, “So, that’s your girl you’ve been hiding from us?”

  “She’s not my girl, and I’m not hiding her. She works for my mom.”

  Josh glanced back over at Poppy. “Riiight, dude. That’s why she spent Thanksgiving with you, and why you can’t keep your eyes off her.”

  “Fuck off,” I said, starting to walk away.

  “All right. All right. We’ll lay off you, dude. Can we get a couple of beers?” Grady said, playing peacemaker.

  I grabbed two beers out of the cooler and set them down on the bar.

  “So, what are you doing in here on a weeknight? Don’t you have women at home making dinner for you?”

  Josh scoffed, “Yeah right. I’m lucky if Leah even acknowledges me when I get home. She’s so busy with Maddy.” Leah’s and Josh’s daughter was about three months old and seemed to take up all their time and energy.

  Grady grinned. “Lindsay definitely acknowledges me, but she doesn’t cook. I’ve got to stop and pick up Chinese on the way home. Apparently that’s what she’s craving tonight.”

  Just a week ago Grady had been in here freaking out that Lindsay was going to dump his ass - again. In reality, she had just found out she was pregnant. They were both insanely happy, especially since she didn’t think she would be able to have children. Both of my best friends had found their place in life, and I couldn’t help feeling jealous.

  Maybe this coaching job was what I needed to get me out of my funk. As much as I hated to think about it, my mom would be gone in a matter of months. Leaving the town would be easy; I’d done it before. I knew I wouldn’t lose touch with Grady and Josh. My eyes drifted back across the room to Poppy, who was laughing with my mom. For some reason that shocked the hell out of me, I had the feeling she would be the hardest to leave behind.