I took her advice and focused on each breath in and out. I closed my eyes and attempted to ward off the rush of thoughts stampeding through my head.
When I realized I could no longer hear the guys’ voices, I opened my eyes.
He was here. Standing right in front of me. Looking better than I remembered. He wasn’t wearing a hat, and his hair was sticking up like it did when he ran his fingers through it. His cool blue eyes were filled with warmth as he looked back at me with a crooked smile on his face.
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until Leah squeezed my shoulders and again instructed me to breathe. Emotion overwhelmed me as tears immediately welled up in my eyes, and I knew then that no amount of time could allow me to get over Ford.
“Hey, hey,” Ford murmured as he walked around the bank of chairs and took my hands to pull me up. Josh and Leah had disappeared somewhere, taking Maddy with them.
Wiping the tears from under my eyes, he quietly asked, “Can I hug you?”
Nodding, I threw my arms around his neck as he wrapped his own around my waist and hauled me up against him. Being in his arms again, the last few months slipped away. It was like we had never been apart. My body remembered what it felt like to be pressed against his, to be held in his arms. My heart remembered what it felt like to beat again.
I had a million questions, most of them some form of what are you doing here? And how long are you staying? But I didn't want to lose this moment by speaking. I didn't want to risk hearing that he didn't come back to see me or that he wasn't staying very long. Because I was fairly certain both of those things were what I would hear.
Ford didn't seem to be in any hurry to release me though. One of his arms was banded tightly around my lower back, and his other hand cupped the back of my head, holding it in place against his neck. He nuzzled his face against my hair and inhaled deeply.
It seemed like we stood like that forever before Leah cleared her throat behind us and said, "Sorry to interrupt, guys. But baby Hawke is here. Grady said we can visit in a few minutes."
Reluctantly I loosened my arms from around Ford's neck and let them fall to my sides.
"I'm going to stop in the ladies room. I'll see you guys up there," I said with a shaky voice.
"I'll wait for you," Ford replied, taking my hand in his.
Shaking my head, I gently eased my hand from his grasp. "No, this is Lindsay and Grady's moment. They don't need me in there like this. I need a minute to get myself together, and I can't do that around you."
Ford looked less than pleased with my answer but grudgingly followed Leah down the hallway. I waited until they were out of sight before I walked the same path and ducked into the restroom. It's a good thing I wasn't wearing any makeup today, or my mascara would be making tracks down my cheeks. My eyes were red and watery enough as it was. There wasn't anything I could do about that right now, but I could stop the tears from continuing to fall. Several deep breaths later I had summoned some of the strength I had used not to cry the day that Ford left for Louisiana.
Once I was somewhat confident I could make it through the next fifteen minutes or so without breaking down, I left the restroom. I stopped at the nurses' station to find out which room Lindsay was in and get buzzed into the maternity ward. Leah and Ford were standing outside the room talking in hushed tones. They both looked serious, and Leah even looked a little pissed off.
When she saw me approaching, she smiled at me and gave Ford a shove inside the doorway.
"Come on, Poppy. Let's go see that baby," she said, looping her arm through mine and steering me into Lindsay's room.
The sun was streaming through the large window, and Lindsay was in the hospital bed at the far side of the room. She looked tired but peaceful and extremely happy. Her eyes never strayed from Grady, who sat at the foot of her bed holding a baby wrapped in a blanket with a tiny pink hat. Pink.
“It’s a girl?” I asked Leah.
“Yup. Maddy has a new playmate.”
Ford and Josh stood off to the side near the window, and I studiously avoided eye contact with Ford.
Lindsay grimaced as she adjusted her position in bed.
“You okay, baby?” Grady asked, finally tearing his attention away from his daughter to turn he eyes on his wife.
“I’m great. Are you going to let anyone else hold Brie?”
Grady looked back down at his little girl, his long hair falling over his face. “Nope.”
A nurse came in then, pushing past Leah and I, who were still standing just inside the door.
“All right everyone, it’s time for our first breastfeeding lesson. So, unless you would all like to learn, I suggest everyone but Mom and Dad leave the room.”
Lindsay gave us a little wave. “Thanks for coming, guys. You can come back later, and I promise that Grady will let you hold her.”
Josh clapped Grady on the shoulder, and Leah went over to give Lindsay a quick hug.
“You will let me hold that baby, Grady Hawke. I’ll be back in one hour,” Leah threatened. She set my brown paper wrapped vodka bottle down on the windowsill. I had totally forgotten about my vodka in all the craziness of seeing Ford again.
“Poppy brought you a baby gift,” Leah said sweetly. Damn her! If things went badly with Ford being back in town, I was going to need that more than ever. The thought of having to go back to the creepy liquor store made me want to take a shower.
She took Maddy from Josh and they headed out the door. I was still standing in my spot by the door when Ford walked by, grabbing my hand on the way. Giving it a gentle tug so I would follow him, he said, “Let’s go. We need to talk.”
Looking back over my shoulder as Ford pulled me from the room, I saw Lindsay give me a thumbs up and a big smile. When I turned back around I saw Leah giving Ford the “I’m watching you” signal. What the hell was going on? And why did it seem like everyone knew about it except for me?
Ford kept hold of my hand as we rode the elevator down to the lobby. I glanced at his strong profile, noticing the tick in his jaw and the tension in his broad shoulders. Though I could tell he was on edge, his grip on my hand was soft. He rubbed his thumb softly over my knuckles.
When we exited the elevator, Ford turned to me and finally spoke. “Did you drive here?”
“Um…no. My car’s not really working right now…again.”
“Did you tell Josh? When did it break down? How did you get here?”
“No, I didn’t tell Josh. It’s summertime, and I can walk almost everywhere I need to go. It didn’t start last Monday when I left for work.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly waiting for an answer to his last question.
“Aiden gave me a ride here.”
“Aiden?”
“Yes, Aiden. I ran into him at the liquor store, and then…”
“You were at the liquor store? It’s Wednesday morning.”
Oh, God. This day just keeps getting better and better.
Chapter Twenty
Ford
Taking a deep breath, I attempted to focus on what was important right now. We could deal with her car later. And why she was visiting a liquor store on a Wednesday morning. I scrubbed my hand over my face and back through my hair. The corners of Poppy’s mouth quirked up.
“What?”
She stood up on tiptoe to ruffle her fingers through my hair. “I missed your hair.”
“My hair?”
“Yeah. The way you run your fingers through it, and it sticks up all over the place.”
I scoffed. “I’ve been gone for almost four months, and what you miss about me is my hair?”
The hint of a smile fell from her face, and the sadness returned to her eyes. Shit.
“Come on. I’ve got something to show you, and a whole lot of shit to tell you,” I said, taking her hand again and leading her out to the parking lot.
We reached my truck, and I opened the passenger door for Poppy. But she hesitated and turned to me. I ha
d one hand on the door frame and the other on the door, effectively caging her in.
“Why are you here, Ford? Did you just come back to see Grady’s baby?” There was doubt and fear in her eyes. Two emotions I never wanted her to have because of me.
“No. I’m here for you.”
Poppy’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She opened her mouth and shut it, pursing her lips tightly to keep in whatever it was she wanted to say. I waited, watching her internal struggle. I wanted to tell her what I needed to say, but I stopped myself for now. There was obviously something she needed to get off her chest.
“I…I changed my mind, Ford. I want to go.”
“Uh, okay. Then get in the truck.”
She shook her head in frustration. “No, I mean I want to go with you. To Louisiana. I made a mistake.”
I took her face in my hands and waited until her eyes met mine. “No, you did exactly the right thing. You don’t belong down there, giving up what you’ve worked so hard for.”
“Yes, I do. I want to be with you. You have no idea how much it hurts…every single day. It just gets worse and worse until I end up buying vodka at 10:00 am on a Wednesday morning. Please, Ford. I love you.”
Poppy was a sobbing mess now as the words tumbled from her mouth in rapid succession. I hated to see her like this. I hated that she was like this because of me.
“Just get in the truck, Poppy,” I said sternly. She obeyed, but her eyes wouldn’t meet mine and her lips trembled.
There was so much I needed to tell her, but I didn’t want to do it in the parking lot of the hospital. I was already getting plenty of dirty looks from people walking by seeing Poppy crying.
But there was one thing she didn’t need to wait to hear. “Oh, Poppy?” I said, leaning in through the open window. She finally looked up at me.
“I love you, too.” I pressed a quick kiss to her lips and ran around the front of the truck. Thankfully the drive to our destination was a quick one, because I could see a million questions rolling around in her head as she stared at me the whole time.
We pulled up in front of a large Victorian house just a few blocks from downtown and only one street over from Poppy’s apartment. I jogged around and opened up her door.
“Where are we?” She asked, as I took her hand and led her around the side of the house.
I unlocked the door and swung it open, revealing a set of stairs leading to an upstairs apartment. Guiding her inside and up the stairs with my hand on her lower back, I said, “This is my new apartment.”
It took a moment for my words to sink in, and she looked at me and then around the small living room that had my furniture in it. She looked like she might pass out, so I eased her down on the couch next to me.
“Ford, I don’t understand.”
I had never been a guy who was good with words or expressing my feelings. Hell, I barely understood my feelings half the time. But this moment was important. I had to make her understand how I felt and what I wanted. It was crucial. So, I said things as simply as I could.
“Poppy, I love you. It may have taken me a long to get there and an even longer time to realize it. But I’m there. I’m here with you.” Okay, that wasn’t coming out simple. Try again.
“I quit my job at LSU. I moved back here last week. I’m starting back at the pub on Monday, and I will be the new assistant coach at the high school this fall.”
Poppy’s eyebrows pulled together and she frowned at me. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting. Did I leave something out? Was there something else I should have said?
“Why would you do that? You love football.”
“I do love football. Just football. It’s not the NFL or LSU. It’s football, and I can do that anywhere. What I can’t do anywhere is be with you.”
Her voice broke when she spoke, “No…I can’t let you give up your dreams for me.”
I took both her hands in mine and looked into her eyes. “The thing is, Poppy…I don’t feel like I’m giving up anything. I get you, and there is nothing in this world, nothing, that’s better than that. You’re my dream.”
Finally a smile. Her eyes were still filled with tears that threatened to spill over, but she was smiling.
“So, you’re back in town for now. Then what? I mean…I’ll be moving somewhere to go to medical school after next year. What happens then?”
“I go where you go. I can get a job tending bar in any college town you decide to move to. And maybe I’ll be able to pick up some coaching gigs too.”
Poppy chewed on her bottom lip. “Are you going to be happy with that? That’s what you’ve been doing here, and you’ve hated it.”
“That’s because I felt like I was stuck here. Right now I’m here because I want to be. I want to be wherever you are.”
She still looked like she wasn’t buying it. But I had all the time in the world to convince her that I was serious. What I didn’t have any more time for was sitting here not touching every inch of her.
Poppy in cutoff shorts and my jersey was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen, and I needed to get her to stop talking and start touching.
“Babe?”
She stopped chewing her lip and looked up at me. “Yeah?”
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We can work all the other shit out later. But right now, you need to get over here so we can make up for lost time.”
With only a half second of hesitation, Poppy launched herself at me, nearly knocking me over backwards. Her hands were in my hair, and my hands were on her ass. Slow and sweet would have to come later. Right now I needed to be inside her. If her roving hands were any indication, she needed the same thing.
When I stood up, she immediately wrapped her legs around my waist without ever breaking contact with my mouth. Her tongue plunged into my mouth, and I wondered how I had lasted four months without this.
Trying to walk backwards down the hallway without looking where I was going was a difficult feat. More than once I bumped into a doorway, causing Poppy to giggle before resuming her total possession of my mouth. When we finally reached the bedroom I sat down on the bed with Poppy straddling my lap.
Without breaking connection with my mouth, she stood up and shimmied off her shorts and underwear. As much as I loved her in my jersey, I needed her naked. It had been way too long. Ripping her shirt off over her head, I tossed it aside and moved on to work on her bra. Poppy tugged my shirt off and fumbled with the button on my jeans. When she couldn't get it right away, she huffed in frustration.
"Need some help?" I murmured against her mouth.
She made the sexiest little growl and shoved me backwards so I was laying flat on the bed. With her attention focused on getting my clothes off, I was naked in a matter of seconds. I patted the bed next to us in search of my jeans and a condom.
Between kisses on my neck, Poppy said, "I went on the pill, so we don't need it...unless there's another reason..."
I grasped her face in my hands and forced her to look at me. "There's no other reason, Poppy. I haven't been with anyone else since you."
Relief flashed through her eyes and she resumed her exploration of my body.
"Babe? I love what you're doing, but I need to be inside you. Right. Now." I gripped her hips and guided her down on me. Sweet Jesus. She was even tighter than I remembered. I moved my thumb to stroke over her. This wasn't going to last long and I needed her with me.
It seemed our separation did the same thing to her that it did to me. It was matter of mere minutes before her body quaked around me, causing me to lose it as well. When she collapsed down on my chest, I smoothed her hair out of her face.
"Sorry that was so quick. We're going to have to do that a lot, so I can build up my tolerance for you."
She giggled, her warm breath washing across my skin. "I don't have anywhere to be for the next three days."
Later that evening as we sat on my bed, eating pizza and drinking beer, Poppy voiced the concerns I kn
ew she still had.
"Are you sure, Ford? That this is what you want?"
Looking at Poppy, sitting cross-legged in only her underwear and one of my shirts, her cheeks flushed and her hair tangled from rolling across my mattress all afternoon, I was sure.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
"But don't you want more out of life than just bartending?"
I shrugged. "I'll be able to do some coaching. Once you become a doctor, you can just support us and I'll stay at home with the kids."
She smiled. "Kids? Plural?"
"Hell yes. Who else am I going to teach to play football."
She might have doubts that I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t. I may have spent endless hours regretting my decision to keep running that fateful night three years ago. But now, I was thanking God I made that decision. Because it brought me here. To Poppy.
*****
"What the hell, dude? You can't move furniture with a baby strapped to your chest," I said to Grady as he sauntered up the driveway. His daughter, Brie, was about two months old and was currently snuggled against Grady's chest in some sort of contraption with straps and buckles.
"I'll supervise," he replied. "It looks like you and Josh have it covered."
Lindsay walked past with an armful of Poppy's clothes on hangers. "Don't bother, Ford. He won't give her up. The second he walks in the door after work, he steals her right out of my arms."
Grady walked down the driveway with his wife. "It's not fair you get her all to yourself all day long while I'm at work."
Rolling my eyes I turned away and went back up the stairs. Fortunately Poppy's apartment was so small she didn't have a lot of furniture. What she had could easily fit in with my stuff in my apartment. Our apartment.
It took two months, but I finally convinced her to move in with me. We never spent a night apart anyway. It seemed like she was always waiting for me to say I was leaving town again. So, I played on her practical side and convinced her that it would save time and money if we lived together. Her only hesitation came from her doubts in my staying power, but I knew with time she would believe I was serious about her. About us.
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