by Jon Chaisson
“Peace, Love and Light, edha James,” she said calmly.
“And to you,” he answered.
CHAPTER FORTY
Peace
In peace we shall gather; in peace we shall part.
Denni stepped out of Light and into another Void, a nonspace without place or time. It was a gray emptiness, neither light nor dark. It was calm with no energies swirling through the air, leaving their senses and their spirits clean and clear. She had asked the previous Ones of All Sacred for a place of equality, where she could truly talk with Saisshalé without any possibility of influence or animosity from either side. They complied, but not without raising concerns; the previous Ones all wanted to do away with him with a deadly passion. To stop this endless cycle of Mendaihu versus Shenaihu, spirit against spirit in a pointless war of control. Denni did not want it. Saisshalé claimed he did not want it either.
Now was the time to find out the truth.
“Come forward,” Denni said into the nothingness. “Show yourself, Saisshalé.”
Out of the dense gray fog he came, weary and tired, dressed in his dirty street clothes. He stooped as if waiting for someone to help him tear that weight off of his shoulders. Denni wanted to trust him, at least here, where all was equal...but something had stopped her. He did not trust her, and he showed it. He was expecting her to destroy him, to erase any trace of him from this realm. She would need to tread lightly here.
“I agree to parley, edha,” she said. “We are here peacefully. I give you my word as the One of All Sacred that I will not harm you here.”
“Agreed. I too shall give my word,” he said. She hid her surprise; his voice had none of the disturbing calm, none of the intimidation it once had. It was ragged and weak. “I tire of this violence, emha. I am only following the Will of the Goddess, but I tire of this game.”
“The Will?” she asked with a frown. “I know of no 'will' that states that either of us must kill, or at least harm the innocent in any way.”
Saisshalé scowled at her and shook his head. “Young emha, do you still not understand? It is the Plan of the Goddess. Everything we do. Procreate, raise families, interact with others near and far. Fight wars, create peaceful societies. Everything is under the will of the Goddess. It is She who creates, and it is She who destroys. It is all balance.”
Denni pursed her lips and forced herself not to respond.
He continued, knowing she wouldn't. “I am here, young Denysia, because you are here. You are correct, we are equals. Everything that happens within your realm will eventually happen within mine. Nehalé Usarai awakened you, Dahné Natianos Lehanna awakened me. Neither of us have fully and completely ascended. We both wish for a complete spiritual awakening of the world, in hopes that it will make it a better, more peaceful place.
“But our methods could not be any more different, Denysia. You create a spiritual awakening on a global scale. Something that, to my knowledge, the previous Ones of All Sacred never dared to try. I can only respond in kind, by attempting to sway these awakened souls to their Shenaihu nuhm'ndah spirit, rather than their Mendaihu kiralla. Again, it is balance. I can't prove to you that I'm not corrupting these souls to turn against you. That has never been and will never be my intent, as long as it is not yours. I can promise you that under my command, they will not attack unless provoked.”
“A heavy promise to keep,” Denni said. “This is the Gharné, the human spirit that's involved here. You can't keep them from doing anything, you know. The Gharné have lived countless generations to sharpen their own version of Trisandi emotions. Some may say we only react on base emotions. To an extent, that's true. But that's the way we are, Saisshalé. You may be able to contain the Shenaihu nuhm'ndah through spiritual restraints, or maybe through discipline. But all you've done is show them that the Mendaihu are wrong, and you've told them that they are the aggressors here. Nothing could be further from the truth! The Mendaihu are here as guardians, and guardians only.”
“But from what, emha?” Saisshalé said. “From whom? You've convinced yourself plenty of times that the Shenaihu and the Mendaihu are the same except in spiritual belief! And let me tell you now, that even on that level we're not that far off. The Shenaihu believe in the same Goddess.”
“They believe wrongly,” Denni growled. She knew that was wrong to say, but she couldn’t help it.
“They believe in reality,” Saisshalé countered. “Do the Shenaihu not believe in the Goddess? Prove me wrong, Dearest One. I can tell you right now that they most certainly do.”
“That's not the point, Saisshalé. The point is—”
“That is the point,” he interrupted.
“That's not the point!” she barked. “Do me the pleasure of not interrupting, Saisshalé. It's not whether the Gharné believe in the Goddess. They’ve evolved spiritually and physically separate from their Trisandi ancestors, and their survival instincts will most definitely kick in whenever a threat shows itself. If the Shenaihu do attack, as you have shown us quite a number of times with your own actions, they're going to be wary. They're not going to trust you. So if this war comes, the Mendaihu will be standing there, waiting for your kind, as they have all this time. And they're not going to take it lightly.”
“Denysia,” he said quietly. “It doesn't have to happen. Everything I have done has been in response to your own actions.”
“So how do you suggest we end this, then?” she barked. “Do you have to kill me?”
He let out a long, frustrated breath. “If it comes to that, Denysia,” he said. “I am countering your moves because I've been trying to keep this war from happening, just as you have. You’ve never known those souls I hindered, have you? Take the man in Branden Hill, the one whose attack was interrupted by your sister, of all people. Do you know what purpose Gordan Milainikos serves as a Mendaihu? He was to be one of your fiercest protectors! Even higher than your sister, did you know that? Well, from the look on your face, I can guess that you didn't. You really should take your powers, young emha, and put them to better use than talking to your girlfriend across the city. I can hear it all quite clearly, by the way.”
Denni felt her cheeks burning crimson, but again she did not lash out at him.
“Understand this,” he continued. “If we keep at this, if you keep building up your Mendaihu defenses, I will keep building up Shenaihu strength. I am only keeping the balance. We are as precious as you are, Denysia. I do not want them harmed. But I will not think twice about sending them in if you threaten us.”
Denni grunted in frustration and threw her hands in the air. “I keep telling you, Saisshalé. The Mendaihu have no reason to threaten you! You have just admitted harming one of mine, for no other reason than keeping this balance. Do you not see that is our reason for our preparations? If you keep throwing these attacks at us...”
“...we'll keep doing this in an unending cycle,” Saisshalé answered. “Just like this damn conversation. And Gharra will end up just another battlefield. Just like before.”
“Another battlefield? I know this has happened before on Gharra. You’re talking elsewhere?”
He shook his head in disgust and began to pace in front of her. “You really don't know, do you? Of course you don't. You never ascended. By the way, that was me dismantling the ascension, under the Dahné's orders. Do you want to know what I did?”
Denni was burning with anger, but she noticed that Saisshalé was not smiling. He was not reveling in his victories. He was trying to free himself from them. “Yes, Saisshalé, I do.”
He stopped pacing and faced her, nodding. “Very well, then. As you are well aware, because of your failed ascension, you did not directly link with the former Ones of All Sacred. You can speak with them in your sehna lumia — I know you've been visiting there for the last few weeks — and you can learn from what they tell you. But you still don't have their direct connection with me, do you? They've told you that I'm the one you're looking for, the one you have to d
estroy. And each time, you and I get together and we have this pathetic war. For what? Victory over what? What are the spoils? A bunch of spiritually aware citizens of a backwater planet? You and I both know we aren't the kind of deities to question the Goddess: She is the one with the ruling hand. We're just her faithful servants. We don't question why. We just go along with this stupid war, time and time again.
“So what did I do, when you were about to link up with those that came before you? Simple. I interrupted.” He smirked, bowing his head slightly. “I did something I should have thought of nearly two centuries ago, when this battle was brought to Gharra. I simply broke your concentration, caused you to doubt yourself, and made you believe that you couldn't possibly do what you were doing. Obviously you showed promise otherwise, when you set off the Awakening of Gharra. That was impressive, and something I would never have expected from you.
“But because of that Awakening, you've set some other...interesting spiritual events in motion.”
Denni crossed her arms. “Such as?”
He smiled. “Well, here you've done something I don't think you've thought all the way through. Perhaps you have, I don't know. But in awakening everyone on this entire planet, you've awakened every soul. Mendaihu, Shenaihu, and cho-nyhndah. Everyone is involved now, and it's your doing. I'm not putting you at fault, Dearest One, remember that. In fact, I’m amazed you had the temerity to make that decision. For the first time, you have made the both of us completely responsible for our own. As the Mendaihu would follow you, the Shenaihu would follow me...and the cho-nyhndah would have their choice. I do know your followers have been, shall we say, 'recruiting' more spirits for your cause, whatever it may be. As have mine.
“Honestly, I do not know what your cause is, Dearest One. Not this time. You are quite different from the previous Ones that I've interacted with. You're probably the youngest, for a start. And to have that much knowledge at such a young age! But let's face facts: you are still maturing, Denysia. You do not fully understand the implications of your actions. I know, I know...you want to base this all on faith. You have faith in yourself and faith in the Goddess. You have faith that you know what the outcome of your actions will be.
“Such as the Awakening of the kiralla. Didn't think they would come in to play, did you? They've always been around, and they're very adept at hiding. Most of them don't even know they're kiralla until someone or something awakens them. You know a few, as do I. And we know they're not going to be taking part in this, It's not their job.
“But honestly, Denysia? Yes, you did awaken the kiralla, as many of them are now losing that blinder. Many of them are now making themselves known, as well they should. I'm sure you've seen that graffiti.”
Denni shuddered. “Yes, I have.”
“Well, then,” he chuckled. “That would explain their sheer number.”
She flashed a grin at him, not so much to agree with him but to shut him up. She had come here thinking she would be in charge, only to lose control of the dialogue so early on! She had to remind herself that she was here to talk, first to appease Saisshalé's wish for a parley, but more importantly to prove her stance, to prove that the Mendaihu were here to protect the Gharné at any cost, even if that meant fighting the Shenaihu to the death. She was not about to let herself be swayed by this man.
Not again.
“So where does this leave us, Saisshalé?” she said, and began a slow pace around him. “If we are pawns in this game of fate, what is the purpose of having two deities who cannot be more different than each other? I do not dare question the Great Goddess, but I do wish to know what She has in mind, as it obviously concerns us. Perhaps you and I are destined to fight every twenty-five years. Perhaps you are to die some times, and I am to die others. This time is no different, Saisshalé. I am no different from any of the other Dearest. I'm bound to them by spirit, Saisshalé, but I am not their clone. I can use their influence, but all of my plans are my own. They've taken their own paths, most of which include destruction and fatalities I'd rather not have to bear. You're right, I'm young to be the One. I'm only fifteen, though my soul is ancient. The past Dearest and I are all the same, yet we retain our individualities.”
“So Trisandi in your dedication,” Saisshalé smirked. “One of Gharra's endearing qualities.”
“Quite,” she said. “Let me tell you another endearing quality, Saisshalé. We spend most of our lives trying to remember what we already know. It’s the respect and the quest for knowledge. That's something the Trisandi spirit had been doing for millennia, and will do so indefinitely. We're fascinated by what we see; we want to know how it works, how it affects us, how it becomes a part of our lives. This is remembering and learning about life. Some of us even move forward and learn something new, and perhaps we'll retain it in our next iterations. And the interesting thing? We never lose this knowledge. We may think we've forgotten it when we're reborn, but that's not entirely true. It's the process of remembering that we forget. As infants, we have to learn it all over again. And those of us who are lucky enough to find this process again? We become enlightened...we achieve Light. And then we go for more.
“Me? I've acquired the knowledge of eight other Dearest. So you may well think that I'm just rambling on and wasting your time. What do I know about knowledge? Do I even know what to do with it? Well, let me tell you: interrupting the Ascension is probably the best thing you've done for me. I retained both my Trisandi spirit and my Gharné self. I think, act, and live like Denni Johnson, a teenager from Bridgetown. I may force myself into these sorts of conversations, Saisshalé, and that's when I ask for the help of the Ones. I am not their mouthpiece, nor do I ask them to speak for me. I speak and offer my own opinions and thoughts to you, because you deserve it.
“I won't lie to you, Saisshalé. I hope you haven't lied to me, but I've already chosen not to lead you astray in any of our conversations, now and in the future. I feel you have earned this, despite your misdeeds and despite our disagreements on many things. If I ask to be treated with respect, I am expected to show the same.”
Saisshalé said nothing for the moment, only crossing his arms and looking down at the nonground, at the grayness that surrounded them. After a moment, he looked back up and smiled. “I appreciate that,” he said quietly. “Honestly I do. Because I wish to ask one question of you right now, and I believe it's a question that's been asked here countless times. It's something you and I have asked each other over the millennia, at this point in time, when we've done all we can to avoid our wars.”
“What is your question?” she asked firmly and without a hint of anger or fear.
Saisshalé recognized the cue and laughed quietly. “Jumping so quickly into the old routine again, Denysia? Don't you want to know the outcome?”
“I know the outcome,” she said. “I know it,” she repeated, pointing at her chest.
“Suit yourself,” he snickered, and sat down on the gray floor. He gestured in front of him. “Please, sit.”
She eyed him for a moment before doing so. This was an unexpected request…what did he have in mind? She trusted him, just as she’d promised, but she had also chosen to remain fully aware of any questionable movements. She sat across from him, cross-legged and clasped hands resting in her lap. She looked him directly in the eyes, never wavering, never looking away. “I'm sitting,” she said.
“As an equal,” he added. “Always a good sign. So. This question I ask of you, Denysia Shalei, Dearest One. I ask of you now.
“How much are you willing to sacrifice, Dearest One, in order for Gharra to remain the spiritual offspring of Trisanda?”
“I am willing to sacrifice myself in order to protect Gharra,” she said. “That is the Code of the Mendaihu.”
“You're fifteen and human,” he countered. “You're reacting with surface emotions, Denysia. Can you tell me honestly, as you promised, that you've thought this through? That you may end up forced out of existence on Gharra, in order for it t
o retain its Trisandi spirit?”
“I have,” she said. “Many assume my sehna lumia visits were to speak to the previous Ones, in order to gather what information I could about you. And they’re not wrong. But I also stayed there on my own. I weighed a lot of things in my mind and in my heart as well, things I never spoke aloud or within. I kept my link between myself and the Ones open, yet I only talked to them when I chose to. This reaction, as you put it, is that of a Mendaihu Gharra who has weighed the options in her head, has conversed with her consort and her Protector, and has refused to be influenced or swayed from her goals. I do know what I'm getting myself into, Saisshalé.”
He nodded once and stood. “You have chosen, Denysia Shalei. You are willing to sacrifice yourself in order to protect Gharra. May it be so.”
“And what about you?” she asked, rising to her feet. “What are you willing to sacrifice?”
“Me?” he said with a wolfish grin. “I plan on winning.”
Denni laughed. “You always were the arrogant bastard.”
“Someone has to be,” he said.
“May it be so, then,” she said. “You are the arrogant bastard and I am the savior. I dearly wish we will not resort to violence, Saisshalé.” She stepped forward and stopped directly in front of him. He was a tall Meraladian and he towered over her by at least a foot and a half. Despite that, she looked up into his eyes and held out her hand. A little surprised by the gesture, he held out his own hand and clasped it in hers. Her hands were tiny and frail in his, but his grip was soft and kind. She placed her other hand over his and shook it slightly.
“I wish you Peace, Love and Light, Saisshalé. I wish we could meet on peaceful terms more often.”
“I wish you the same, Dearest One,” he said quietly.
“Until next we meet,” she said, and let go. “Safe journey, Saisshalé.”