by Jo Davis
“In truth, he’s been overloaded, cooking and doing much of what a PA’s job would entail, without complaint.” Jude regretted not realizing sooner all he’d been asking of the man. “He can help with errands when he’s not busy in the kitchen, but I’ll let you two work out the details. As I’ve said, we’re not formal around here, so whatever works best for you both is fine.”
“All right,” she said. Liam chimed in with agreement.
Jude nodded and went on. “Liam decides the menu each day, so if you have special dietary requests, dislikes or favorites, you’ll have to let him know.”
“Is the kitchen off- limits? What if I sneak in here for a midnight snack?”
“Sneak all you want, but if you kill it, let me know so I can fill it,” Liam said. “Nothing more aggravating than starting a meal, only to discover that someone-ahem-has gobbled the last of an ingredient I needed.”
Jude lifted a brow in mock annoyance. “Excuse me? Whose kitchen is it, anyway?”
“Mine, and don’t you forget it.”
Jude chuckled. The man was right. “That’s why you’ve been working for me for how many years now?”
“Four. I’m surprised I’ve put up with you that long,” the younger man commented good-naturedly, needling him.
“Why? Don’t I take excellent care of you?” Jude asked, putting a hint of suggestion in his tone.
“When you’re not disappearing for weeks at a time with no word, letting me wonder if…”
You’re dead somewhere. The thought hung unspoken in the air between them, dispelling the companionable atmosphere, and the silence grew charged.
The younger man stilled. “Shit. I’m sorry, Jude. It just slipped out.”
“Hell,” he muttered, curbing the impulse to snap out a reprimand. Despite Liam’s gregarious nature and the lapse just now, he could always be trusted to keep a confidence. Dammit, Jude hadn’t wanted to get into this so soon, but Liam had made an honest mistake, one that must be dealt with.
Lily broke into the tension, curious and concerned. “You make it a habit to vanish without informing your employees of your whereabouts? Why?”
“I can’t answer that,” Jude said curtly. The pressure in his head increased, along with a vague sense of anxiety. “I don’t have any idea where I used to go or what I did there. And if there are any clues in the house that might help answer those questions, Liam and I haven’t been able to find them.”
“Jude always let me know when he was leaving,” Liam clarified, taking his cue to be able to speak on the matter. “But I never knew when he planned to return until he called me from his cell phone on the way home. He always said what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me, whatever that means.”
“So, you have memory gaps? Because of your accident?”
A sliver of guilt crept in. “Yes. Perhaps I should’ve told you up front, before you accepted the job, but I don’t see why my few limitations should affect our working relationship.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she said. “You did tell me about the headaches and the nightmares. After what you’ve been through, it stands to reason for there to be physical consequences. It is very strange, though, that only specific periods of time are a blank for you.”
“Head injuries can do weird things to the human brain,” he agreed. “Anyway, my intention was to eventually tell you about the gaps, maybe use you as my eyes to help me investigate where I went three or four times a year and why.”
Her stillness was almost tangible, her voice soft, but with a hint of warning. “Going by what you’d told Liam, you might not like the answer.”
“I think he has a hot babe stashed in a warm climate somewhere,” Liam joked in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood again. “He flies off, gets himself a little jungle lovin’, flies home a new man.”
Despite the quiet laughter the three of them shared, he and Liam strongly suspected the truth wasn’t nearly so fun.
“Nice thought,” Jude said with a wistful smile. “But if my visits with this imaginary woman caused me to come home wound tighter than an iron coil and seclude myself in my bedroom for days afterward, then I’d obviously need a new mistress.”
Lily’s tone became sharp. “You know for a fact that you acted this way each time you returned? Or are you just repeating what Liam told you?”
Jude paused. Why would she care either way? Still, he saw no harm in answering. “Repeating, mostly. It’s hard for me to separate what’s just a result of stress since the accident, and what might be real memories.”
Liam fell quiet and continued moving around, going about his tasks, his actions more telling than words. The younger man was fretting, his normally cheerful mood dampened. Lily, however, seemed undaunted. A woman used to tackling problems head-on.
“Well, if there’s anything to these mysterious trips of yours, I’m sure we’ll uncover the reason. In the meantime, I’ll settle in and get my bearings.”
“Thank you, Lily.” The vise on his brain eased a little. “Why don’t we continue our tour and let Liam finish his masterpiece?”
“After you.”
“Lunch in an hour,” the younger man called after them.
“Grilled chicken salad with toasted almonds and balsamic dressing. Oh, and I already put your bags in the suite connecting to Jude’s.”
“The salad sounds yummy,” Lily called back as they walked out together. “And thanks.”
Jude shook his head. “I don’t know what I’d do without him. That man is amazing.”
“Sexy as hell, too. Is he one of those people who ‘arouse and intrigue’ you?”
It took him a moment to recall what he’d told her, and when he did, his lips curved upward. “Frequently. Does that bother you?”
“Yes. But not in a bad way,” she said, her husky tone wrapping around his balls and squeezing. “Many women feel that two men together are beyond hot, same as some men feel about two women.”
Sweet Jesus, he’d hit the lottery. Any illusions he might’ve harbored about maintaining a strictly professional relationship with Lily were swiftly withering on the vine. Their views on sexual freedom seemed to be a perfect match. He’d be an idiot not to explore the possibilities.
After she has a chance to catch her breath. Christ, give her a break!
Though she was the one who’d brought up the subject again, making her interest plain. God, his jeans were going to strangle his cock.
As he struggled for a suitable reply, she went on as though she hadn’t struck him speechless. “Have you ever been in love?”
“What?”
“Love. You know-cupid, hearts and flowers, prenuptial agreements.”
“No,” he said, smiling. “I had a couple of close calls when I was younger, but I’m pretty sure I can safely say that I’m a poor candidate for the status quo.”
“You crave too much swirl in your personal vanilla?”
He laughed. “Something like that.”
“You’re an interesting man, Jude.”
The way she said it made him think she was dissecting a curious bug rather than paying him a compliment. “Not really, but who am I to spoil your delusions so soon?”
“Oh, this is stunning!”
Halting his steps, he realized they must’ve come to the sunroom, a glorious space bathed with sunlight and brimming with plants. Considering he hadn’t been paying attention, he’d either improved on negotiating his way around the mansion or just been lucky.
“Like it?”
“I love it. Do you spend much time in here?”
“I used to. It was one of my favorite spots to relax because it overlooks the pool and the gardens beyond.” The accident had stolen even that simple pleasure from him. To simply chill out and be, to soak in the beauty of his private oasis.
“Can we eat lunch in here?”
She was so enthusiastic, he was loath to refuse. “Of course we can. I’ll do just about anything to prolong the company of a beautiful woman.”
“You don’t know that.” The smile in her voice was evident. “I might be a hideous little troll.”
“Impossible. Your self-confidence shines through-and that, to me, is beautiful.”
After a pause, she murmured softly, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but don’t believe I’m some wonderful guy.
I’m ashamed to admit that isn’t something I would have bothered to say four months ago, even if the thought crossed my mind. Inner beauty wasn’t a concept I ruminated on much.”
“That doesn’t make you a terrible person. A bit self-absorbed in the past, maybe, but not awful.”
The bald truth made him wince. “Until I got a huge God-smack upside the head. Literally.”
“Not to sound insensitive or cliché, but it’s funny how those seem to come along right when they’re needed.”
“Hmm. Are we talking about my experience or yours now? Because I have to tell you, if there’s some cosmic reason a higher power decided I needed to be aimed down the path to becoming a better person, it eludes me.”
“Just making an observation,” she said. “I’ve never been on the receiving end of a major smackdown, at least none that was my fault-my conscience is clear.”
Jude wondered at the edge in her tone, her declaration almost defensive. However, his sixth sense warned him it would be prudent to let the curious statement pass, for the time being.
“Then consider yourself very fortunate. Want to see the rest?”
“Yes, please.”
Easy companionship was restored as he showed her the workout room, the media room with its many forms of entertainment, and Liam’s quarters on the lower floor just down from the studio.
A half hour later, he stopped outside the door to her suite, gesturing inside.
“I’ll leave you to get settled in while I buzz Liam and let him know to serve lunch in the sunroom. When you’re ready, knock on our connecting door and we’ll go down together.”
“Will do. And thanks for the welcome,” she said in the husky tone that made him shiver.
“My pleasure.”
He left Lily to her own devices and shuffled toward his suite, tired but more optimistic about the future than he’d been in weeks. He had a feeling Lily would be an asset, in more ways than one.
Oh, yes. Hiring her was the smartest move he’d ever made. Lily watched Jude go, carefully guarded emotions tossing on a restless sea.
By all appearances, SHADO’s doctors had effectively erased every trace of the horrible man St. Laurent had been.
But one couldn’t erase evil. Right? Mask it perhaps, but not completely obliterate it.
Which did nothing to resolve the lingering doubts in her mind. A man couldn’t hide his true nature forever. Way down deep, people were who they were, good or bad. A procedure such as the one performed on St. Laurent would not change that fact. Eventually, his true colors would show.
And yet…
He’d requested her assistance in mending the ripped fabric of his life, the greatest of ironies. He was astute enough to realize something truly alarming lurked in his past.
“If you only knew,” she said under her breath. As he disappeared into his suite, she did the same, pushing inside and letting out a low, appreciative whistle.
“Sweet.”
Even for a SHADO agent-former agent, she reminded herself-the estate reeked of money. A lot more green than even the best assassin could afford on the agency’s pay. Espionage must be really fucking profitable.
Or perhaps the bulk of it was old money, inherited from his deceased parents. Not to mention the padding from his side career creating erotic paintings that sold for exorbitant sums. The pieces he’d done before his blindness had likely skyrocketed in value, if she had her guess.
Once he was dead, they’d be worth even more.
The thought made her stomach lurch and she shoved it aside, busying herself with emptying her suitcases. Nicer outfits she hung in the spacious walk- in closet. Casual wear, nighties, and underwear were tucked into the dresser drawers.
One drawer was reserved for her collection of naughty toys-dildos, plugs, clamps, anal beads, and more. These were tools for a successful mission; they were weapons, the same as her guns, poisons, and array of frightening devices designed to deliver death to the unwary.
At the moment, however, Lily wasn’t thinking like a professional sent to do a job. Thanks to the sexual tension in this place-which was thick enough to cut with a knife-the ache in her nipples and the insistent burn between her legs was about to drive her mad. If she had to endure another second without relief, she’d scream.
Eyeing the big purple dildo resting innocently among the other toys, Lily cocked a brow. A woman must do what she must to get through the day.
Hefting the phallus, she tested its flexibility and girth. Not as grand as Jude’s cock by any means, but it would suffice. Kicking off her heels, she crawled onto the king-sized bed with her prize, hiked her short linen skirt to her waist, and lay on her back.
Spreading her legs, she ran a palm over her bare abdomen to the tiny, neat triangle at the apex of her thighs. She loved the sensual feel of naked skin and springy curls under her fingers, her pussy exposed and ready-underwear being a confining irritant she avoided unless absolutely necessary. Sporting a bare bottom was also her private acknowledgment of the needs she held in ruthless check. Her brand of rebellion, her secret kick.
Moving her hand lower, she skimmed the slick, naked folds, her blood singing with passion she rarely allowed past her barriers except when alone. Here, she could indulge in her fantasies and leave the coldhearted bitch behind.
Dipping a finger into her hot channel, she moaned, working the digit in and out, then spreading the cream all over her pussy. All around her clit, teasing as much as she dared, until her sex dripped and her body ached for release.
Fully prepared, she gripped the base of the dildo in her right hand and nudged the bulbous head between the swollen lips. Pushed inside, bit by bit, until the fake cock was buried in her needy cunt.
“Oh, yes,” she hissed. As she pumped it slowly, a face formed in her mind. A gorgeous face taut with ecstasy and surrounded by long auburn hair, muscles flexing as he drove into her depths, unable to get enough of her. “Jude… God, yes, fuck me.”
And in her fantasy, he did, cock shiny and thick, owning every part of her. Then her lusty daydream shifted and she imagined him doing the same to Tamara tonight, perhaps while Lily watched. Or even joined in the fun…
Helpless against the onslaught of sizzling images, she hurtled over the edge, hips bucking as she cried out. Orgasm slammed her with a series of jolts that fried her nerve endings, spun her out of control.
Gradually, they tapered off and she lay boneless, satisfaction sinking her into the bed. Damn, she’d needed that, and it was good.
But the real thing would far surpass the experience.
With a contented sigh, she removed the dildo and slid off the bed, heading for the bathroom to freshen up. As she stepped inside, it occurred to her that she hadn’t exactly been quiet. Jude might’ve heard, and the idea caused her to flush with rare embarrassment. And longing.
If he had heard, would he comment? Would he even care?
Shaking her head ruefully, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and paused, taking in her appearance. Her small, fine-boned face was pink from exertion, brown eyes large and surrounded by a fringe of dark lashes. Disheveled black hair tumbled in a glossy mess almost to her waist.
She was cynical and practical about her looks-she knew men found her attractive, and her appearance served a purpose. It had always been the best weapon in her possession.
Except for now, when it counted the most.
Why wasn’t she sorry about that?
Because for once, I want to be a woman, not a weapon. I want to forget why I’m here. I want a man to see beneath the surface, and like what
he finds.
Then she thought of her father, cold in the ground, never again to know joy or sorrow.
Because of a traitor like Jude St. Laurent.
“Suck it up,” she told her reflection. “That destiny was never meant to be yours.”
Armor firmly in place, she reached for a washcloth and set about wiping away the traces of her weakness.
If only cleansing her soul were so simple.
Three
Jude stood frozen near his bed, listening to the husky cries drifting from the adjoining room.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. His cock lifted in appreciation of the extracurricular activity taking place next door, a scant few yards away.
Apparently, Lily was quite affected by her introduction to his household.
With a grunt of frustration, he adjusted his crotch. Hell, he wasn’t twenty-one anymore; if he were, he might be able to coax his semiawake cock to revive. But he’d come such a short time ago, he’d need longer to recover.
The chirping of the cell phone in the front pocket of his jeans stopped his morbid thoughts on aging before they could run rampant. Digging the slim device from his jeans, he found his bed and sat on the edge before answering.
“Hello?”
“Jude, how the hell are you?”
“Dev! It’s good to hear your voice, man.” He smiled. Nobody could sustain an irritable mood around Devon Sinclair or his pistol of a wife. “I’m fine, just bored as shit. Or I was until my new PA started today.”
“Yeah? Do tell, my friend.” He could picture Dev waggling his blond brows.
“I don’t know much about her yet,” he said, hedging some.
“How much do you know? Come on, don’t leave me hanging!”
“Well, her name is Lily Vale. She’s petite and has a killer whiskey voice. Smarter than me, according to her references.”
“Like that would be a stretch,” he joked. “And?”
“She’s… sexually open. By her admission.”
Dev spluttered. “How the fuck did you manage to learn that so fast when she just got there?”