She looked up from her tablet when Abby called her name. Ruffles jumped onto the sofa and begged to be petted. Abby plopped down beside her, a big smile on her face.
“Hannah’s mom has a new movie for us to watch, and we want our hair to match. Can you braid my hair?”
“Of course.”
Upstairs, Julie sat on the edge of the bed, pulling a brush through the dark strands of her child’s hair. This was one of the joys of her day. Dividing the dark hair into sections, Julie plaited the first braid, securing it with a colored holder.
Abby pulled the finished braid over her shoulder and examined it. “I have a birthday coming soon.”
Her heart swelled. “I know. You’re going to be nine on April 4.”
“Daddy said I can have a big party at Grandma’s house.”
“That should be fun.” Julie entwined the strands.
“Hanna has a birthday in the summer. She said she’ll be officially nine at ten forty-five in the morning on her birthday. I don’t know what time I was born.”
Wrapping the band around the second braid, she let her mind travel back to the most significant day of her life. “It was two thirty-one in the afternoon. A Thursday, and it was a beautiful spring day. Perfect for bringing you into the world.”
Abby looked over her shoulder, a deep frown on her face. “How do you know that?”
Realization stole her breath and sent an icy shaft of horror along her spine. What had she done?
“Yes. How do you know that?”
Gil. What was he doing home so early? Every vein in her body burned. Her heart stopped beating. She clutched the brush in her hands, unable to look him in the face. How could she have been so careless? She’d guarded her tongue every moment since coming here, and now one thoughtless comment had shattered everything.
The tension in the room pressed in on her, making it difficult to breathe.
“Abby, go on over to Hannah’s. She’s anxious to start the movie.”
Gil stood like a statue in the room until he heard the back door close. Only then did she find the courage to stand and face him. His eyes were dark as midnight and the hard set of his jaw sent a jolt of alarm along her nerves.
“How do you know the time of Abby’s birth?”
She wanted to run, but her body was rigid. Tell him! She couldn’t avoid this any longer. Focusing her gaze on the brush in her hands, she forced the words from her mouth. “Because I was there.”
His hard gaze penetrated to her core. “I don’t understand.”
She closed her eyes, prayed for strength then looked at him. “I’m Abby’s mother. I gave her up for adoption when she was born.” Each play of emotion across Gil’s face ripped through her heart like a jagged knife. But it was the look of realization that threatened to buckle her knees.
“You’re her mother.”
Julie longed to reach out to him, to assure him everything would be all right, but the horror in his voice was forbidding her to move.
Gil ran his hand through his hair as he paced the small room. “How could I have been so stupid?” His steely gaze nailed her to the floor. “She looks just like you. That’s why you never wanted to have your picture taken together, isn’t it? Am I the only one who didn’t see it?”
“Gil, I need to explain.”
“What? Why you lied to me all this time? What did you want, Julie? Are you trying to take Abby away from me?”
“No! I’d never do that.”
“How do I know that? What kind of game have you been playing? Are you and Pam in this together? Is that it? You’ve got some scheme to discredit me and take Abby? Well, you can forget it. I’ll never let her go.”
Julie clutched her throat. “No! No, I would never take her from you.”
He turned away, inhaling between his teeth, upper lip curled. “It all makes sense now. The way you bonded with her so quickly. Your devotion to helping her. I thought you were different. Honest. What a joke.”
“If you’ll let me explain. I just wanted to see that she was all right. That she was happy.”
He whirled and glared at her. “She is.”
She flinched at his anger but didn’t back down. She had to make him understand. “But she wasn’t happy. It was only supposed to be for a week. I just wanted to see her before I left the country. Then you asked me to stay, and I saw a chance to bring you and Abby together. I just wanted to help.”
“Help? By lying to me and my daughter?” Gil rubbed his forehead. “Abby. How am I going to explain this to her?”
“I’ll find a way.”
He jerked around, his eyes hard and dark. “No, you won’t. I want you out of her life. Now.”
“But I have to tell her goodbye. She’ll be upset.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Gil, she’s my daughter.”
“No. She’s my daughter.” Gil pivoted on his heel and walked out. “Don’t be here when I get back.”
Julie sank onto the bed, too numb to cry. Cords of sorrow and remorse curled around her senses tighter and tighter until she couldn’t breathe. She clutched her necklace, her one link to sanity. She’d ruined everything. She hurt Gil deeply. He’d been lied to before, and now she’d made him feel like a fool again. He would never be able to forgive her. Ruffles came and placed her paws on Julie’s knees. Scooping the little dog up, she buried her face in the soft fur. “Oh, Ruffles, what am I going to do?”
Julie closed her eyes, searching for the words to offer up a prayer for forgiveness and direction, but none came. Only a soft groan of defeat.
Her secrets had finally caught up with her. She couldn’t blame Gil for being angry and upset. She deserved it. But what about Abby? She couldn’t walk away without some kind of explanation.
Slowly she stood, glancing around the room. Maybe she could leave a note. No. Gil would find it and probably tear it up. Her hand went to her throat. The necklace. It belonged to Abby in a sense. It was the only thing she could give her now. Their link. It was time to let it go. Make a clean break. Unfastening the clasp, Julie draped the necklace around the neck of Abby’s favorite doll, propped up against the bed pillows.
Numb and foggy, she made her way to the apartment, absently gathering up her belongings. Each breath tore another section of her heart away. How could she leave the two people she loved most?
She wrestled her luggage down the stairs. There was no handsome man with strong arms to help her this time. Those arms would never hold her again. His smile would never touch her with tenderness.
Climbing into the car, Julie stared out the windshield. Where would she go? She’d vacated her duplex. DiDi and Ed had left this morning for a trip. She’d already turned down her chance to leave for Paris early. Where else was there?
Pensacola.
With shaky hands, she pulled her phone out and touched the screen.
“Mom. I’m coming home.”
Chapter Twelve
Every nerve in Gil’s body sparked like a frayed wire. He pulled into the drive of his family home with no recollection of deciding to come here. All he knew was he wanted as far away from Julie as he could get. Bands of tension squeezed around his chest. His jaw ached from clenching his teeth. His heart had shriveled into a black cinder. But it was his fear for Abby that twisted inside him like barbed wire.
He stopped the car, clutching the steering wheel and dropping his forehead onto his hands. He was too shell-shocked even to pray. All he could do was call on His name. Pulling himself together, he went inside the house. His mother met him in the hall.
“Gil? What’s wrong?” She gave him a hug and urged him toward the kitchen, the place they always talked. After pouring him a glass of tea, she joined him at the table.
He searched for a place to start. “I jus
t found out Julie is Abby’s birth mother. She’s been lying to us the whole time.”
“Oh, dear.”
It took him a moment to register that his mother wasn’t as shocked as he’d expected her to be. The moment he met her gaze, his gut kicked. “You knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I hoped she would.”
“She told you?” He dragged a hand across his mouth. “Oh, this just gets better and better.”
“No. But I had a strong suspicion. The necklace she wore, the little filigree heart. A few months ago a young woman in our Bible study shared her testimony. She told us she’d gotten pregnant very young and had given her child up for adoption. The foundation that helped her gave them each a necklace as a remembrance. When I saw Julie’s, I put it together.”
He clutched his hands in front of his chin. “Who else knew?”
His mother sighed and met his gaze. “I think Pam figured it out. Linc, too.”
Gil exhaled a bitter laugh. “So I’m the only blind idiot who didn’t see through her deception? Guess that’s a bad habit of mine.”
“You saw what you wanted to see. I’m surprised you never noticed the resemblance, but you’ve always been a trusting person. Have you told Abby who Julie is?”
“No, and I’m not going to tell her.”
“Is that wise?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure of anything right now.”
“Gil, I’ve gotten to know Julie a little in these few weeks. She’s not a vicious woman. I don’t believe she set out to deceive you.”
Anger drove him to his feet. He didn’t want to hear any endorsements of the nanny. “She infiltrated my home like a spy.” He turned his back on his mother, setting his hands on his hips. “It all makes sense now. The way she bonded with Abby so quickly, the way she loved her so much. What a chump I am.”
“Because you fell in love with her, or because you didn’t see what was right in front of you?”
“Both.” Anger spent, Gil sank onto the chair again, hands clasped on the table. “I thought she was different.”
“She has a big heart. Julie will be hurt by this as much as you and Abby.”
A memory of the agony on Julie’s face when she admitted the truth penetrated his pain. She would be hurt, deeply. He rubbed his forehead and hardened his heart. “Not my problem. Abby is. I don’t know how she’ll take Julie’s sudden departure.”
“Not well. But how are you taking it? I know you love her. And I suspect she’s in love with you, too.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does.” She leaned forward. “You know your dad and I loved Leah. As much as she would allow. But we never thought you were right for each other. I watched you grow more and more withdrawn and bitter in the marriage and after the divorce. I understood you were hurting and angry, and desperate to see Abby, but you changed. We worried. After your father died, I worried you’d lost your anchor.” She sighed. “Then with losing Leah so soon and the custody battle, you became cold and hard.”
She reached over and took his hand. Gil didn’t pull away. He needed her comfort and guidance right now.
“Then I came home and met Julie. You were relaxed and happy again. Like your old self. Seeing you with your guitar, you and Abby onstage, gave me hope that you could find peace again. Julie gave you that, and I’m grateful. I can’t hate her for restoring my son’s joy or for helping him bond with his child. You need her in your life, and so does Abby.”
He shook his head. “My only concern is what this is going to do to Abby when she finds out the truth.”
“I suspect not as much as it has to you. She knows she’s adopted. She’s bound to have wondered about her real mother. Finding out it’s someone she already adores will be exciting. Learning the truth doesn’t have to cause anger and resentment. Sometimes it can bring about healing.”
Gil mulled over his mother’s words as he drove home. He thought about his conversation with Pam. The truth had cleared a path for them to set the old resentments and jealously aside and work toward a better future.
As he pulled into the driveway, his throat tightened at the absence of Julie’s car. She was gone. Probably forever. He should be relieved. But all he felt was a terrible sense of emptiness.
* * *
Julie sat in the rocker on the front porch of her parents’ town house, battling waves of grief. Her sister’s funeral had been this morning. She’d had only a week with her before she passed away. She grieved for the loss of her sister, but also for the lost time together.
“J.J? Are you all right?”
She nodded at her mother as she took a seat in the other rocker. “I wish I’d come home sooner. I’m so sorry, Mom. I could have helped. I could have spent more time with Maryann.”
“Sweetheart, there was nothing you could have done. Believe me. She’s at peace now with the Lord. We need to take comfort from that. It’s your peace I’m concerned with now.”
“I’m fine. I have a bright future ahead of me. I’ll get to live in Paris. You and Dad will come and visit, won’t you?” The look in her mom’s eyes told her she wasn’t buying it.
“Julianna. Stop lying to yourself. Haven’t you done that long enough? I know you love that young man, Gil. You need to go back to Dover and clear the air with him.”
“Mom, he won’t listen. Besides, he won’t let me see Abby again.”
“I’m not talking about Abby. I’m talking about your feelings for Gil. If you love him, doesn’t he deserve to know? Doesn’t he deserve to hear an apology from you?”
“I tried. He wouldn’t listen.”
“Then try again. Don’t give up so easily. It’s time you broke that bad habit.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You always took the easy way out of things. Your sister was very competitive. Everything was an opportunity to win. Who could run to the car fastest? Who could finish their lunch first? You never rose to the challenge. You gave in and walked away. You couldn’t lose if you didn’t participate.”
Julie wiped tears from her eyes. She was right. Losing to her sister had been too humiliating. She didn’t have the competitive nature.
“Sweetheart, don’t let this setback keep you from finding happiness. I don’t know if this man will forgive you or not. That’s not really the issue. You need to tell him everything. Truth isn’t the poison, it’s the cure.”
“I did.”
“Then tell him again until he understands. If he doesn’t, then you can at least move forward knowing you fought for what you wanted. How much do you love him?”
“More than anything.”
“Then ask yourself, do you love Gil for the man he is, or because he’s Abby’s father?”
She didn’t have to think about the answer. She loved Gil for the man he was. Her feelings might have started because of his love for her child, but his compassion, his devotion to those he loved, would have won her heart no matter the circumstances.
She’d tried to tell herself she didn’t really love him. Her feelings for Gil were fleeting, a product of being together so much, of their mutual love and concern for Abby. She’d been afraid to admit how much she loved him because she believed it was hopeless. An impossible Cinderella dream.
But that fairy tale had a happy ending. Maybe her mom was right. Maybe it was time she stopped standing on the sidelines and fought for what she wanted. After all, there wasn’t anything left to lose.
* * *
Gil Montgomery stood on the broad deck at the back of his home watching Abby as she twisted her swing around one direction, then let it unwind quickly in the opposite, sending her feet and her hair sailing in the air. He chuckled softly. She was going to make herself dizzy, but she looked contented and he didn’t want to spoil her mood.
It was the first time since Julie had left that Abby hadn’t pouted and shot glares in his direction. As far as his daughter was concerned, he was totally to blame for Julie leaving. He had to own that one. But he was suffering, too. It had been one week, three days, fourteen hours since she’d left his home. He missed her. She’d stepped into his life with her bright smile and her caring heart and shone a flashlight into all the dark corners of his mind. She’d taught him how to love again, to enjoy life again and most important, she showed him how to be a father to Abby.
But there was still a big obstacle to overcome. How to tell Abby about Julie. His mother’s words of wisdom the other day had nagged at his conscience, forcing him to take a hard look at the situation. She was right about one thing. Keeping secrets was never good. He had no idea how she would react to the truth, but he’d had enough of secrets. “Abby. Time to come in.”
He sat down and patted the seat next to him on the couch. “I want to talk to you a minute. You remember a while back when we talked about you being adopted? I want to make sure you understand what that means.”
“Mommy said that the lady who had me couldn’t keep me because she was sick or poor or something. So she loved me so much she gave me to you and Mommy because she knew you’d take good care of me.”
Gil worked his jaw. He’d been unfair to Leah. For all her issues, she’d been up-front and honest with their child. “That’s right. Have you ever wondered who that lady might be? Your birth mother?”
She nodded. “Mommy said when I was older she’d help me find her.”
He took Abby’s hand. “What if I told you that I know who she is and it’s someone you care about?”
“Who?”
He took a deep breath, prayed and stepped out in faith. “Julie.” He watched the news play across her little face. Her eyes grew puzzled at first, then widened then a smile slowly spread across her face, wrinkling her freckled nose.
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