Part of Me

by A. C. Arthur

  The way I was feeling right now, all the tension swirling around inside of me made the cat inside edgy and ready for a fight. If I got out and ran down the street, there would be one, no doubt. But there might also be exposure, danger to humans and/or to Lidia. So I slowly pulled my hand away from the handle, moving it instead to the keys that were still in the ignition. I started my truck and pulled off into the night, watching as they followed me all the way to my apartment building, then sped off once I stepped out of my truck.

  Cowards, I thought as I watched their car disappear around a corner. Dirty, disgusting cowards. Then, as I walked up the steps I thought maybe, just maybe, I was like them. A coward when it came to Lidia and to making her mine.

  ***

  “He’s screwing one of the math interns,” I told Lidia the moment she stepped out of her dorm room three days later.

  I’d been standing here for almost forty-five minutes but I knew she had a three-thirty class and would have to come out sooner or later. I also knew that knocking on her door and entering the room with two other females to tell her this about the guy she’d been trotting around campus with for the past few days, probably wasn’t going to go over well.

  From the frown she was giving me as she adjusted the books in her hand, telling her this way might not have been the best idea either.

  “Hello to you too,” she quipped and kept walking.

  I followed. “Hello and I’m serious, Lid. I saw them yesterday. He didn’t even have the decency to take her back to his place, just pushed her against the wall in that professor’s office and did her right there.” I’d stepped to the side of the door after first sighting the bastard with the admittedly hot intern. The escapade hadn’t lasted long so I was there when he came out of the room waiting—similarly to what I’d just done with Lidia. What happened next was between dumbass Daniel and me.

  “We’re not engaged,” she said, not looking at me and turning sideways to walk between two students coming from the opposite direction.

  A few steps later her palm smashed into the elevator button and we stood in the narrow hallway waiting. From a distance somebody was playing Katy Perry’s “Roar” and singing loudly along with it. Two girls ran right past us, lacrosse gear in hand, probably late for practice. And somewhere on this floor someone was smoking marijuana trying to mask the scent with candles. I might have thought that was amusing if I wasn’t more concerned with the female I’d just pissed off.

  “Okay, you’re not engaged but you’re telling me that you gave your boyfriend permission to screw another female while you studied in some foreign language class? What’s he going to do while you sit in astrology this afternoon, hit on your roommate maybe?”

  She turned to me then, her eyes filled with the anger I’d expected her to show a little sooner. “I’m going to be minding my business while I’m in astrology so I have no idea. Maybe you should take a class instead of going around stalking people.”

  I turned so that we were now face-to-face and stuffed my hands into my pockets to keep from touching her. Her face was free and clear of any makeup, except for a light, peach-colored gloss on her lips, just the way I liked it. Her hair was pulled back but had that glossy sheen that had made me want to run my fingers through the thick mass on more than one occasion. Her shorts were denim and damned short, her chest luckily completely covered in a loose-fitting T-shirt that almost touched the hem of the too-short shorts. She looked fresh and pure and sexy as hell all at once and I wanted to get my hands on her as badly as I wanted to get out of this damned college dorm.

  “I’m not stalking you,” I replied. “Just trying to protect my little sister. Isn’t that what a big brother is supposed to do?” I finished with a look that I’m sure matched the sarcastic edge of my question.

  She glared up at me, then over to the elevator that seemed to ignore the switch that beckoned its service. “I’m not your sister,” she spat, pushing past me.

  I almost smiled because what I’d told her about Daniel had upset her. That didn’t sound right, but it was true. I was happy that she was mad at Daniel for screwing the math intern because that meant she would break things off with the idiot and there would be no “boyfriend” excuse the next time I kissed her.

  Following her down the hall was a bit of a task because it seemed as if half the tenants of this building were now on this floor and heading to the elevator, even though it probably still wouldn’t come. Up ahead I could see Lidia pushing through the door leading to the stairs. I hurriedly went in the same direction.

  “I’m glad to hear that fact,” I said, grabbing her arm to stop her before she took the next set of stairs.

  If she had a free hand Lidia would have definitely taken a swing at me. Since that would require her dropping the textbooks and spiral notebook she held, she settled for a seething glare.

  “You’ve said what you have to say, Brayden. Thank you so much for the information, but I have to get to class now.”

  “Are you mad that your boyfriend was cheating or that you didn’t want him in the first place?” I asked her.

  “You are so full of yourself, Brayden Sanchez,” was her reply. “Just because I’m not willing to jump into bed with you doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t with someone else. And Daniel is, or rather I thought he was, just as good a guy to be with as any.”

  “But you didn’t want to be with him, did you?”

  She jerked free of my grasp. “It’s none of your business who I want to be with, Brayden. You don’t see me asking you questions about Kyra.”

  I shrugged. “Ask away. Or better yet, I’ll give you all the gory details. She approached me one day outside of Starbucks, I ignored her. I saw her again at O’Shea’s and she was a little more convincing. We had a couple of dates, a few kisses, and lots of free feels, but NO sex. And now it’s done.”

  “What do you mean it’s done?” she asked cautiously, but still very much interested.

  “I mean, I broke it off with her that night I saw you at O’Shea’s. Do you want to know why?”

  “No,” she answered quickly, shaking her head.

  Then she took a step as if she were going to go down the next flight of stairs. I walked until I was right behind her, wrapping my hand around her waist and pulling her against my front to keep her still.

  “I said I don’t want to know, Brayden. What you do and who you do it with are not my business.”

  “But you are my business, Lidia. You and this heat that continues to spread whenever we’re close like this. You know what this means. You know that I want you,” I told her.

  She shook her head, but I continued, “And you want me. No matter what you say or do, I know it’s true.”

  “I do not want you,” she insisted, her voice hitching just a bit.

  “Liar,” I accused her, holding her tight, loving the feel of our bodies so close. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for this female, no limits to how much I would grovel and plead and wait. The cat inside, on the other hand, had reached its limit as evidenced by the quick and low growl that escaped.

  Lidia shivered at the sound, the cat inside her most likely ready to answer in kind to the heat. “Bully,” she yelled, pulling from me and running down the steps until she got to the bottom. “You can’t make me feel what you feel, Brayden. Even if Daniel is an ass, there’s no future for you and me outside of a friendship. We have different goals and will eventually go in different directions. It’s just not a smart move,” she finished, huffing out a breath. “I’m sorry.”

  In the next instant she was down the steps, running away from me once more. I started to yell down at her that this thing between us wasn’t a “smart” move, it was the only move, the only future for us, for shifter mates.

  Instead, I exercised all the restraint I’d been taught, held the cat at bay with all the strength I possessed, and continued down the steps slowly until I was eventually outside of the dorm house and walking across the street to my truck. I didn’t
look for Lidia because I knew exactly where I could find her. I knew her entire schedule, just as I knew she’d been angry with herself for running away. Lidia hated the idea of being a coward almost as much as I hated her persistent thoughts of us not continuing our lives together. Unfortunately, none of that changed a damned thing, that’s what I wanted to make her understand.

  CHAPTER 5

  Lidia

  My mind was definitely not on the stars while I sat in the back row of astrology class. It wasn’t even really on the alleged betrayal of my wannabe boyfriend. It was where it always seemed to be lately, on Brayden.

  I hated that I’d known he was on the other side of the door before I’d even opened it today. I’d known when Daniel was at the door as well, but the sensations were drastically different. Whereas Daniel’s scent was fresh, human, aroused, Brayden’s was dangerous, a sweet, sultry scent that seemed to speak to me on another level entirely. I knew that level and I freakin’ despised it!

  The growl that rumbled in my chest as I looked up to see his thick eyebrows and inky-black hair in need of a trim was another unwelcome trait. I’d heard him talking but what he said hadn’t mattered because I simply didn’t want him to be there. I mean, yes, for years Brayden had been one of the first people I saw in the morning but that was when we were staying in the same house or hotel or cabin. Now that we lived in separate dwellings about twenty minutes away from each other, I didn’t like the fact that I could look up at any time and see him standing there.

  And yet when we were separated this summer, I hadn’t liked that either.

  Talk about never being satisfied.

  I wanted to scream with this indecision that plagued me like a deadly disease. One minute I thought I knew the answer, was certain of what I wanted and how I wanted to get there. I had an absolute mentality when it came to the tribe I was born into and the cruel hand it had ultimately dealt me. And then Brayden looked at me. He smiled. He laughed. He simply stood there knowing things that nobody should know until I chose to tell them. And my decisions faltered like a house of cards.

  I hated him for that.

  Not necessarily for telling me about Daniel, because after our three dates I knew there was never going to be anything serious between us. Hell, I hadn’t even been up to allowing him to attempt another kiss. For his part, Daniel hadn’t seemed too upset over it, just sort of went with the flow. The reason for that casual attitude was clear now that I knew he was getting it from someone else.

  I inhaled a deep breath, let it out with a heavy sigh, and then wanted to jump for joy when class was finally over. If I’d known who was waiting outside of the door, I may have withheld that joy. I was having such bad luck with doors today.

  It was obvious he hadn’t come to see me. In fact, he was walking so fast, looking down at the floor, I got the impression he wasn’t looking for anyone and didn’t want anyone looking for him. Too bad, I figured it was as good a time as any to get this over with.

  “Daniel!” I called out to him but he kept walking.

  I walked faster, watching as he hurried to turn a corner. I had to jog a little to get around that corner before losing sight of him completely and when I caught up with him, I didn’t bother calling his name, but grabbed the sleeve of his shirt instead.

  “Hey,” I said when he turned to face me.

  Then I gasped, which I didn’t do often because being born a shape shifter, there wasn’t a whole lot more in the human world that could shock me. This definitely did. Daniel was rocking one hell of a black eye. Or was it green and a sickly shade of purple?

  “What the hell happened to you?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Look, I gotta go, Lidia.”

  He was turning away from me and I moved around him, stopping right in front of him so he either had to push me down or squeeze past the flow of other students to get away.

  “What happened to you?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said, still looking down. “Anyway, I guess it’s good that you’re here so I can tell you I’m not interested in seeing you anymore.”

  If I didn’t know better I might have flinched at how cold and just a tad bitter his words sounded, as if I’d been the one getting it against the wall by another guy.

  “You’re not interested in seeing me anymore?” I repeated what he said and it sounded like a question even though I already knew the answer.

  “That’s what I said,” he continued. This time he did look up at me, but he also lifted his hand to act like he wanted to scratch something on his forehead, managing to partially shield the black eye instead. “It’s no big deal, we tried it and it didn’t work. So we’ll move on.”

  I nodded. “Right. You moved on and inside of the math intern while I sat in class. No big deal.”

  He didn’t even look shocked that I knew, which made me wonder.

  “Okay, we’re done, can I go now?”

  “Who hit you?” I asked.

  “Move out of my way please.”

  I tilted my head, saw something beyond the cool blue eyes that I’d found intriguing and the dimple I’d thought was cute. “It was Brayden, wasn’t it? He hit you when he found you with that girl.”

  “Look, you and your psycho boyfriend can have each other. I don’t have time for this juvenile brutality. Now move out of my way.”

  Daniel did push past me this time and I stayed flattened against the wall while he walked away instead of trying to go after him again. Besides, there was nothing else to say. I knew he was an asshole and he knew Brayden had a serious right hook. I guess that made us even.

  ***

  I wanted a latte with a shot or two, or three, of espresso. Actually, I wanted another cranberry and vodka but had a feeling liquor wasn’t going to go well with charting out constellations, which I needed to do tonight for homework. So I stood in the hideously long line at Starbucks during a time when I thought people should be looking for dinner instead of a caffeine high—clearly I was wrong.

  Once the guy with the multiple piercings through everything but his eyeball handed me the cup wrongly marked Olivia, I was more than ready to leave, not really wanting to be around people at this moment. The confrontations with Brayden and Daniel had been more than enough for me for one day.

  I’d taken a sip which had burned the hell out of my tongue and was heading to the door when she came out of nowhere. I mean, really, why hadn’t I seen her and all that dark hair stacked on top of her head in a riot of curls before she was up in my face with that fake-ass smile?

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hi, Kyra,” I replied.

  “There’s something I need to say to you.”

  No! My mind screamed. I did not want another confrontation and definitely not with this chick.

  “I really need to get going, Kyra. I have someone waiting for me and I can’t be late.”

  She nodded as if to say “yeah right” then proceeded to poke one of her elegantly painted nails into my shoulder.

  “I want you to stay away from Brayden. He doesn’t want you around and neither do I. You’re messing up the plan. So whatever you two may have had before, this ‘friendship’ you both like to call it, is now officially over. Got it?”

  It was hard listening to her words because I was much more focused on her continuous poking. Actually, the cat inside was becoming more and more interested in that as well. Another thing the cat seemed to be reacting to was the stench. Kyra reeked of…of…no, not possible. She was a human, I knew that for a fact. And yet, I inhaled again, just one more time to be certain.

  “Brayden and I are just friends,” I said in the calmest voice I could muster considering we were standing in the middle of Starbucks.

  “Whatever,” she said with a wave of her hand. “We’re all he needs now.”

  “We? What are you into, some type of group sex thing? I know Brayden and I don’t think he’s into the swinger scene.” This girl was looking at me like I was the nutcase, when clearly the things she
was saying, matched with that weird scent, were what was really out of order here.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, then rolled those big eyes once more. “Look, just stay away from Brayden.”

  Was she serious? She’d known Brayden for like fifteen minutes compared to how long I’d known him. Not to mention the fact that I could wrap one hand around her pretty little neck and squeeze, watching the blood drain from her face, if I wanted. Luckily for her I opted for the more human reaction. I nodded like I agreed, saying with absolutely no conviction, “Okay, whatever you say. Can I go now?”

  She actually looked like she hadn’t been paying attention to me, but looking somewhere over my shoulder instead. This girl was a real goofball. “Yeah, you can go,” she began sort of absently, but I was already moving around her.

  “Bitch!”

  I heard the word and thought I saw warning lights flashing red before my eyes. I had an impulsive nature, a temper that didn’t take much to flare up. I knew all this and had promised the Sanchezes I would keep it under wraps while attending the human college, but damn, she’d had to go there.

  I turned slowly and was going to ask her to repeat herself but the gloating look she was giving me was just like she’d said the word all over again. I dropped my latte and the palm of my hand landed against her cheek before she could blink those false-ass lashes again. Her head snapped back and a scream escaped her, like I’d been attacking her instead of trying to slap some sense into the tramp. Everyone in Starbucks now had something else to interest them other than overpriced caffeine shots.

  “I’m gonna kill you,” Kyra yelled and lunged at me.

  It took no thought at all and even less effort to sidestep her. She tumbled into something but I didn’t know what or who, until I turned back around. No, I knew, that’s why I took my time turning around.

  I’d scented Brayden the second I smacked her and he’d walked into the store but was otherwise occupied so I couldn’t turn around and act cordial.