by Claire Adams
“Yeah, sure,” Nina said, flopping back on her bed and staring up at the ceiling. “Whatever.”
“Nina, Mom loves you,” I said. “She’s doing the best she can.”
“I know,” Nina said in a flat voice. “Whatever.”
“C’mon, get up,” I said, trying to think of a way to pull her out of the dark place she was headed. “We’ll go to Newbury Street and get you that jacket you wanted. How about that?”
“It’s okay, Dad,” she said, without looking at me. “It wasn’t that important. Can I be alone for a little while?”
“Sure,” I said backing out of the room. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?”
“Uh-huh,” she said, still staring up at the ceiling.
I cursed Remy under my breath the entire time I was washing breakfast dishes and wondered how I could pull Nina out of the funk before she did something destructive. When Remy and I first separated, Nina had taken it hard and had wound up fighting with a couple of girls at school. We’d taken her to a counselor who’d helped her deal with the emotions she was feeling about the divorce, and after a short time, Nina stopped fighting, but old habits die hard, and whenever she felt bad, Nina would revert to destructive behavior as a coping mechanism. This time I wanted to stop it before it started.
An hour later, Nina still hadn’t emerged from her bedroom, and I was starting to worry. I stood next to the door listening for sounds of anything unusual before I knocked.
“Punkin, how about if I call Emily and ask her to come for dinner?” I called through the closed door. “We could order pizza and watch a movie.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Nina replied. I waited to see if she would say anything else, and when she didn’t, I wrestled with whether to open the door and talk to her or to leave her to process things on her own. I felt damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
Instead, I called Emily and explained the situation. I asked her to pick up a couple of movies she thought Nina would like, and told her I’d order pizza to be delivered around 6.
“Are you sure she wants me around tonight, Blake?” Emily asked. “I mean, I’m not trying to take the place of her mother or something. I’d hate for her to think that.”
“She said it was fine,” I said, wondering if Nina would see it the same way. “If she gets upset, we’ll deal with it. I’m not going to put my life on hold just because Remy can’t manage hers.”
“Way to go, Captain Empathy,” Emily chuckled. The sound of her laughter made me smile despite the fact that I was worried about my daughter. She agreed to get the movies and said she’d see us at 6.
“Nina, Emily’s bringing movies and I’ll have the pizza delivered at 6, okay?” I called through the bedroom door.
“Sure, whatever,” she replied. I hesitated and then turned the doorknob. Nina yelled, “Dad! I’m not a baby! Just let me have my privacy!”
“Sorry,” I said, as I let go of the knob and walked back down the hall. I felt like I should have insisted on talking, but the part of me that identified with her need to sulk in private wanted to respect her wishes. I sighed heavily as I rubbed my eyes, wondering how many other parents were suffering through this same thing.
When Emily showed up, I told her what had been going on, and she shrugged it off.
“She’s a teenager. They’re moody,” she said, as she dropped the movies on the entry table and took off her coat. “Let her tell you when she’s ready to talk. If you force it, she’ll pull back more. Believe me, I know.”
“All right, I’ll trust your expert opinion,” I said, smiling as I reached out and pulled her to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I leaned down and kissed her. I could feel the blood rushing away from my brain almost immediately, so I pulled back.
“What’s wrong?” Emily asked, with a worried look on her face.
“Trying to keep it PG,” I said with a wry grin. “You don’t make it easy.”
“Ah ha,” she laughed. “Well, it’s not my job to make anything easy. Hadn’t you noticed?”
I leaned back and let out a loud laugh as she sidestepped me and headed for the kitchen calling, “Where’s the food? I’m starving!”
“It’s on its way,” I said, as I checked my phone and saw that the delivery driver was a couple of minutes away. “Nina! Emily’s here, and the pizza will be here in five!”
“Okay!” Nina called from behind her bedroom door. She emerged just as I was accepting the boxes from the driver. I handed her one and followed her to the kitchen where Emily had set out plates and sodas. Nina smiled, “Hey, Emily. Glad you could come over for dinner.”
“Hey, Nina, I’m glad you asked me to,” she smiled back. “I got a couple of movies I thought you might like. Not so sure your dad will like them, though.”
“Eh, he’ll watch anything,” Nina shrugged, as she helped herself to several slices of pizza and grabbed a soda.
“Hey, I have good taste in movies,” I protested, as I loaded my plate with pizza.
“Yeah, sure, Dad,” Nina said, as she sat down on the far end of the couch and picked at her pizza.
We watched two movies, and by the end of the second one, Nina yawned as she stretched and said she was going to bed. She gave me a hug and patted my cheek saying, “Don’t worry so much, Dad. I’m fine.”
I nodded as I watched her disappear down the hallway, then turned to Emily and said, “What in the hell just happened?”
“I think she’s trying to figure that out,” Emily replied, as she gathered up the plates and carried them to the kitchen. She put the dishes in the sink and said, “I’ve got to get going. I’ve got school tomorrow, and if I don’t get my rest, I’ll have little hope of educating the masses.”
“Aww, do you have to go?” I whined, as I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply.
“Yes, Mr. Gaston, I do have to go,” she said when she came up for air. “As tempting as it is to stay here with you, I have my duties to think of.”
“You’re no fun,” I pouted, as she patted my cheek and went to gather her things.
“Maybe not tonight, but I’ll definitely be fun on Tuesday!” she said with a sly grin. “You’re still going with me to the game, right?”
“I guess,” I moped, as she pulled on her coat and grabbed the movies.
“Buck up, soldier,” she said, as she stood on her toes to kiss me one more time. “We’ll have our time. I promise.”
“I know, but I don’t like waiting for it,” I muttered.
“Good things come to those who wait, Mr. Gaston,” Emily grinned. And then she was gone.
I poked my head in Nina’s room to say goodnight and found her curled up, facing the wall, with the glow of her phone screen creating an eerie light.
“Nina, it’s time for bed,” I said.
“I know, Dad,” she replied, without rolling over. I walked in and sat down on the edge of her bed and rested a hand on her back.
“I know your mom can be tough, but she really does love you, Punkin,” I said. I felt Nina draw a deep breath before she rolled over to face me.
“Dad,” she choked out, as she wrapped her arms around me and cried like a small child. I patted her head and whispered that it would all be okay waiting for her to calm down. When she could finally talk without crying, she said, “I don’t want to live with Mom anymore. I hate it there.”
“Oh Nina,” I said, knowing that this admission was going to open up a can of worms that I definitely didn’t want to deal with. Remy would never agree to letting Nina live with me full time, if for no other reason than pure stubbornness. But I heard myself say, “Well, we’ll talk to Mom when she gets back and see what we can do, okay?”
“Just don’t make me live there anymore, Dad, please?” Nina said, in a voice so small that it made my heart ache.
“I’ll do what I can, Punkin,” I said, as I kissed her head and hugged her tightly. I just hoped I wasn’t going to disappoint her.
#
After school on Tuesday, Nina came home and locked herself in her room until Emily pulled up in front of the house.
“Nina! Let Emily in!” I shouted from the bathroom. I listened, but all I heard was silence, and I wondered if Nina was telling Emily about her plan to ask her mother if she could live with me full time.
Remy was due home in a few days, and I’d been trying to map out a plan to talk with her, but every possible way of framing the question seemed to lead to only one outcome — Remy’s rage. I knew that she was going to point out the fact that I was in a dangerous profession that kept me away from home for 24 hours at a time and that it wasn’t safe to leave a 16-year-old alone for that time. I knew that Remy was also going to accuse me of turning Nina against her, and the thought of having to counter that nonsense gave me a headache.
I tried to put all of that out of my mind as I wiped the last bit of shaving cream off of my face and patted on some aftershave. Satisfied with the end result, I pulled on my shirt and jeans, grabbed a pair of socks out of the drawer, and took them and my boots into the front room.
“You’re not ready to go?” Nina sighed heavily. “Dad, it’s supposed to be the girl who keeps you waiting, not the other way around.”
“It’s okay, Nina,” Emily smiled. “We can flip the script for Mr. Slowpoke. He’s worth the wait.”
“You’re lucky she’s so patient, Dad,” Nina said seriously. “Not many women would be.”
“I know, I know,” I said grabbing a glass, filling it with water, and drinking the whole thing in a couple of gulps. “I’m almost ready!”
“Dad,” Nina asked. “Did you talk to Mom yet?”
“Not yet, Nina,” I sighed heavily. “She doesn’t get home for another couple of days. You know that.”
“You guys need to get it together,” she said, stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t want to go back and live with Mom!”
“I’m sorry, kiddo, the judge is in charge of the decision,’” I said, hoping that I wasn’t making a promise I couldn’t keep as I said, “I’ll do what I can to try and convince your mom, but you know how she is about you living with me.”
“Why can’t the two of you ever make a decision about me that I want?” Nina said, pulling away from me. “Why do I always have to do what you want?”
“Because that’s the law, Nina,” I said, trying to stay calm.
“I hate the law,” she cried, as she turned away. Halfway down the hallway, she turned back and yelled, “And I hate you, too!”
“Nina!” I shouted, as Emily grabbed my arm and shook her head. I pulled back my arm back before raising a hand to rub my eyes as I sighed, “Jesus, no one tells you about this shit when you decide to have kids. Maybe this is what sex education in schools should consist of — fights with teenagers that you’ve raised from infancy.”
“What’s going on with her?” Emily asked, as we watched Nina disappear from view. “She was silent at school today, and she didn’t turn in her homework.”
“She’s mad about her mother being gone,” I sighed. “And she’s also mad about the fact that if she wants to come live with me full-time, she’s going to have to ask Remy first.”
“She wants to come live with you?” Emily asked, with a furrowed brow.
“She hates living with Remy,” I said, feeling uncomfortable airing our family’s dirty laundry this way. “I get it, but I don’t want to get in the middle of this battle since it really doesn’t involve me.”
“Huh, interesting,” Emily said, looking back down the hall toward Nina’s room. “I know how she feels.”
“Didn’t get along with your mother either?” I asked.
“You met my mother, what do you think?” Emily said, as she stared at me.
“Yeah, right, sorry,” I said, feeling stupid for having asked the question. I quickly shifted the subject, “You ready to go to dinner?”
“Mmm hmm,” she nodded, obviously lost in thought. I moved close enough to rest my hands on her waist and pull her toward me.
“Emily, can we leave this behind us and enjoy this evening, please?” I murmured, as I bent down and kissed her.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, returning my kiss before adding, “You want to check on Nina before we leave?”
“Nah, she’s just being a teenager,” I shrugged. “If I leave her alone for a bit, she’ll be back to normal when we get home.”
“You know her best,” Emily said, smiling as she took my hand. “Let’s go cheer the Celtics on, shall we?”
“Unless you want to skip the whole game and, you know,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.
“And miss the game?” she said with a shocked look. “What would your dad say about wasting these tickets?”
“My dad never has to know,” I grinned,as I leaned down and kissed her neck.
“But I would!” she laughed, as she swatted me away.
“Totally up to you, Teach,” I said, as we moved into the front hall where I grabbed my coat and keys. “I’m driving?”
“No, I invited you on the date, so I’m driving,” Emily scolded. “C’mon, be a modern man.”
“Oh, I’m modern all right,” I said with a wry smile. “I’m just not sure you’re a safe driver.”
“I only burn things down, not up,” she said with a teasing grin. “You’re safe with me.”
“So reassuring,” I laughed, as we exited the house and headed for the car.
Once in the city, Emily parked at the stadium, and we walked a few blocks to Boston Beer Works to grab some dinner. The bar was loud and full of Celtics fans, but we managed to secure a table in the back away from the action where we spent the meal talking about everything but what was really on our minds — Nina.
After dinner, as we walked back to TD Garden, Emily slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it tightly. I looked over at her and saw a smile spreading across her lips.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“This feels so high school-ish,” she chuckled. “Dinner in the big city and then a basketball game with my boyfriend.”
“Is that what I am?” I asked, as I stopped on the sidewalk and pulled Emily back toward me.
“I don’t know,” she said, looking up at me with a warm smile. “Is that what you want to be?”
“More than anything else in the whole world,” I said softly, as I took her face between my hands and gently kissed her lips.
“Then that’s what you shall be, Mr. Gaston,” she whispered into my lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against my body as I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her harder. I could feel Emily’s hands flat against my chest as we kissed more deeply.
“Jesus, get a room, you two!” a guy dressed in a Celtics jacket yelled as he passed us.
“Jealous?” I shot back, before Emily punched my shoulder and shushed me. When I looked down at her again, she was giggling.
“Now you really are my boyfriend,” she laughed. “Defending my honor!”
“Your honor?” I said with a lopsided grin. “Lady, I was lording it over that jackass!”
Emily dissolved into a fit of laughter as she took my hand and pulled me toward the stadium. Once inside, we bought beers and headed to our seats. My dad had sprung for some incredibly good seats, and as the teams took the floor to warm up, Emily went through the lineup and explained the odds on the Celtics winning. I listened intently and nodded despite the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about.
“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Emily asked.
“How did you do that?”
“Do what?” she replied.
“Never mind,” I said, smiling as I leaned down and kissed her. The arena erupted in cheers, and when I looked up, I saw that Emily and I had been caught by the Kiss Cam. We were up on the arena's screens, encircled by hearts and flowers as the crowd cheered. Emily leaned back and laughed as I went in for a second kiss, and the crowd went wild.<
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Emily’s intense interest in basketball was contagious, and by the second quarter, I was cheering as loudly as she was. The Celtics took the lead, and by halftime, they were ahead by a very comfortable margin as they exited to the locker room. While Emily went to the bathroom, I looked around the arena, wishing I could take Emily somewhere more private.
“You okay?” she said, as she returned to her seat.
“Yeah, fine. Why?”
“You looked like you were lost in thought,” she said, as she handed me a beer. “I hope it was a good one.”
“Definitely,” I said with a grin that she immediately recognized and returned.
“You know, I was wondering…” Emily said, as she leaned toward me and lowered her voice.
“What were you wondering?” I said, as the teams began to take the floor.
“I was wondering if we really need to stay for the second half,” Emily said, as she looked up at me, flashing a suggestive grin. “I mean, they’ve got this in the bag, you know?”
“Oh, do they?” I said, grinning at her
“Mmm hmm,” she nodded. “I just think our time could be better spent…elsewhere.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” I said, as I kissed her lips then set my beer on the ground and reached for my coat.
We quickly made it out of the arena and back to the car, where we stopped to make out like a couple of high school kids before Emily put the car into drive and headed back to Waltham. Neither one of us spoke the entire drive. Instead, Emily turned up the radio, and we sang every classic rock song that the DJ played. A half hour later, we pulled up in front of her house.
“Emily…” I said, with my hand on the door.
“Inside, now,” she replied, as she quickly pushed open the car door and got out. I wasn’t going to argue with her, so I followed her up the walk and into the house.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Emily
I gasped when we stepped inside the front door, and I saw the living room lit up by strands of tiny white lights draped across the top of the curtain rods. On the coffee table was an enormous bouquet of long-stemmed red roses, and next to it was a box wrapped in shiny red paper with a big white bow on top.