by Mary Nichols
Rosamund squeezed her arm. ‘My dear, it may be that you will be the saving of him.’
‘How can that be?’
‘Wait and see.’
And on that enigmatic note, they all went into Trentham House to be provided with baths, have their bruises tended to and be dosed with medicinal cognac, after which they waited for the return of their menfolk, debating the events of the day in some detail, blaming the poor construction of the viewing platform, which was not sturdy enough to hold all the people who had crowded onto it. They were also scathing about the behaviour of Mrs Thornley. ‘It was bad enough when she called him from his seat to talk to him,’ Eleanor said. ‘But to come rushing over as he lay on the ground and demand he be taken to her house was the outside of enough.’
‘Do you think he really offered her marriage?’ Louise asked.
‘No, of course not,’ Rosamund said. ‘He has more sense.’
‘But he did not deny it.’
‘He was too hurt to know what was going on and too much the gentleman.’
Pippa did not want to listen to them gossiping about Mrs Thornley and was on the point of excusing herself and going to bed, when the men returned. They reported that Ash had been seen by a doctor who assured them Sir Ashley’s back was not broken, but it was badly bruised and he must lie abed until it healed. ‘It might take weeks,’ James told them. ‘And the doctor would not commit himself to saying there would be no lasting damage. He said only time will tell.’
Pippa was the least hurt of any of the ladies and that served to make her feel more than ever guilty that she had survived only because of Ash’s heroic action. The thought of that strong, handsome, eminently desirable man whom she loved, never being able walk again, was enough to keep her awake and in tears the whole night long.
Chapter Eight
Pippa was not the only one awake. Ash’s sovereign remedy of sleep would not relieve him. For one thing his back was too painful, even though the doctor had said it was not broken, and for another, he had realised in the precise moment he had thrown himself on Pippa, that he had met his match at last. He had fallen in love. Oh, he had already acknowledged to himself that she would make someone a loving and lovely wife, but not until today had he known what it was to be in love, really in love. It was nothing like his feelings for his mistresses, the light dalliance, the playfulness, the intransigence; this was serious, stupendous, a huge explosion of emotion such as he had never experienced before, mixed with great tenderness. Now he understood the difference. He knew Pippa’s life and happiness was more important to him than his own and he would readily die for her.
Once he was able to get about again, he would tell her he loved her, try to convince her his days of rakedom were over and he truly wanted to settle down as a married man. He smiled inwardly, imagining the comments of his friends when they heard he was a changed man. Sir Ashley Saunders, a determined and committed bachelor, marrying and for love at that, would furnish them with no end of amusement. But it did not solve the problem of Nathaniel Kingslake and he really must put his mind to that before he said anything to Pippa. But how to do so, when he was laid up, he was not at all sure.
‘But, Pippa, you cannot go to Sir Ashley’s lodgings,’ Eleanor said next morning when they met for breakfast. ‘It simply is not done for a lady to visit the apartments of a bachelor. It would cause no end of scandal. You do not want to be tarred with the same brush as Mrs Thornley, do you?’
‘No, of course not.’ Pippa could not subdue the little green god who sat on her shoulder and prodded her uncomfortably, even though she knew she was being irrational. She wanted to find out the truth about Mrs Thornley. Was she more than a mistress? Even that was hard to bear. It was foolish of her; she had no expectation that Ash thought any more about her than that she was a profound nuisance. Except for his kisses. She could not forget the tenderness in them. ‘All I want to do is see for myself how he does and thank him for what he did for me and see if anything can be done to make him more comfortable. Is that so very bad?’
‘Perhaps if we both went, properly escorted, we might go,’ Eleanor ventured. ‘I will ask William.’
William agreed and that afternoon he accompanied both ladies to Pall Mall. They were asked to wait in the vestibule while a footman went to see if Sir Ashley would receive them. While she waited, Pippa looked about her. The house was modest compared to its neighbours, but it was elegantly furnished. What struck her most was that it seemed cold and impersonal and had none of the warmth and ambience of Fairfields. She concluded that Sir Ashley used it only as somewhere to stay when in town and did not look on it as home.
‘Fine kettle of fish this is,’ Lord Cadogan said. He had come to visit his nephew directly upon hearing that he had sustained an injury the day before. Ash had had his servant help him to a daybed in a small sitting room adjoining his bedchamber from where he could see the park and the people walking and riding there. His lordship had pulled up a chair beside the bed and was surveying him with a jaundiced eye. ‘You could have got yourself killed.’
‘But I did not, did I?’ Ash grimaced. Being told to lie still was frustrating, but every time he tried to move, he was racked with pain and had to desist. ‘And how did you find out about it?’
‘My dear man, it is all over town. You threw yourself on top of Mrs Thornley and she was so overcome, she collapsed beside you. What were you doing in a public place with her? You told me you had given her the bag.’
‘As usual the tattlers have made much of nothing. I did not throw myself on Mrs Thornley. She was nowhere near me at the time. Nor did I ask her to rush over and fall on her knees beside me. If I had had the use of my legs, I would have walked away.’
‘Hmph,’ Lord Cadogan said, as if he found that hard to believe. ‘How long before you are on your feet again?’
‘The sawbones would not conjecture, but if I have my way, it will not be long.’
‘You would do better to go to Fairfields to recuperate, away from all this speculation.’
‘I intend to do so as soon as I can travel.’
‘Good. I need you fit and well and free of gossip. I cannot leave my estate to a cripple. It needs a strong, healthy man who is held in the highest esteem. And what have you done about finding a wife?’
‘Uncle, I cannot possibly go courting as I am, can I?’
‘No, I realise that,’ the old man conceded. ‘But I hope you will not use it as an excuse to give up and remain a bachelor. Men of property cannot afford such luxury.’
‘I will give it serious consideration,’ Ash said, his thoughts on Pippa. How badly hurt was she? She had said it was only bruises, but supposing it was more serious than that? How could he find out? He was hardly aware that his uncle was on his feet, preparing to leave.
‘Good. I will come back in a day or two to see how you go on. If you need the use of my travelling chaise to convey you to Fairfields, you are welcome to it.’
‘Thank you, sir, but I can send for my own carriage.’
On the stairs his lordship met the footman on his way to announce the latest callers. ‘I will see myself out,’ he told him. He had reached the hall and was picking up his hat and gloves when he recognised Lord Trentham. ‘My lord, you have come to see the invalid, have you?’
Pippa, who had seen the man descend the stairs, longed to hide herself. She turned to examine a picture on the wall and prayed he would pass without noticing her.
‘Yes, indeed,’ William answered. ‘May I present my wife, Lady Trentham.’
‘My lady.’ His lordship swept Eleanor a bow and she curtsied in response.
‘And my wife’s cousin, Miss Kingslake. Philippa, Lord Cadogan…’
There was nothing for it. Pippa turned to face his lordship. ‘Lord Cadogan and I have met,’ she said, as calmly as she could manage, given that her knees were knocking and her hands shaking.
His lordship stared at her, in astonishment and then anger. ‘What are you doing here?’
he demanded. ‘Is there no end to your effrontery?’
William and Eleanor looked at Pippa and then at each other in bewilderment. ‘Is it effrontery to visit a man who has saved my life?’ Pippa demanded. ‘Especially as he was injured in doing so?’
‘It was you he saved?’ His lordship did not bother to disguise his surprise.
‘It was.’
‘I suppose you are that Thornley woman’s replacement.’
‘How dare you, Cadogan,’ William interrupted angrily before Pippa could frame a reply. ‘My wife’s cousin is a lady. I demand you withdraw that statement.’
‘I withdraw it,’ he said, though there was no remorse in his tone. ‘For Miss Kingslake’s ambition is above being a mere mistress. She is after the Cadogan inheritance.’
‘That is arrant nonsense.’ Pippa was too angry to observe the niceties of polite conversation. She was determined not to let him browbeat her, though she was still shaking. Her love for Edward had long since dwindled to nothing more than a slight feeling of nostalgia that something which had seemed so good had turned so sour. She had even, since she had come to know Sir Ashley, been glad they had parted. ‘I do not want your son. You did me a favour putting that connection to an end.’
‘My son, madam, is dead.’
‘Edward, dead?’ Pippa was so shocked she took a step backwards; finding the seat of a chair behind her knees, she thankfully sank onto it. Edward’s death was not something she had ever envisaged; he had been a slight young man, not athletic at all, but he had been fit and well. ‘How?’
‘Do not tell me you have not heard of it.’
‘I have not. I have neither seen nor heard from Edward since…’ She paused. ‘It must be six years.’
‘Six years in the pestilential heat of India. The climate killed him in the end.’
Pippa pulled herself together and stood up again; she would not let him see how much he disturbed her. ‘Then I am sorry for you, my lord. Please convey my condolences to Lady Cadogan.’
‘I will not do that. She blames you.’
‘Me?’ she queried. ‘Why? I did not ask Edward to go to India.’
‘He would not have gone if it had not been necessary to sever his connection with you.’
‘Because your foolish wife thought my red hair meant I had made a pact with the devil. Such superstitious beliefs went out over a hundred years ago.’
‘Nothing to do with the colour of your hair, more to do with the colour of your money or lack of it, lack of breeding too, which was more important. We simply pointed out to him that he was putting his inheritance in jeopardy if he married an eccentric like you, and he realised it would not do.’
‘Whatever are you talking about?’ Eleanor asked, looking from one to the other.
Pippa turned towards her. ‘I was once engaged to be married to Lord Cadogan’s son, six years ago it was, the summer you spent with William in the Netherlands. The breaking of it off caused a scandal, but Aunt Augusta took me back to Norfolk and Edward went off to India. I had no idea he had died.’
‘Forgive me for doubting that,’ Lord Cadogan put it. ‘Why otherwise would you attach yourself to my nephew, if not to continue your assault on the Cadogan estate?’
‘Your nephew?’ Pippa asked, puzzled.
‘Ashley. The man lying upstairs, unable to stir a limb. Not content with depriving me of my son, you have managed to make a cripple of my next heir.’
‘Oh.’ Sir Ashley was Lord Cadogan’s nephew and heir. She could hardly credit it. Why, oh, why, had Ashley not told her?
‘I tell you now,’ his lordship said, stepping forwards and wagging a finger in her face. ‘If he is so foolish as to shackle himself to you, he can kiss his inheritance goodbye.’
‘Lord Cadogan,’ William said, ‘I do not know the rights and wrongs of it, but I deplore the uncivil way you have spoken to my relative. I am sorry you have lost your son, but that is no excuse. Miss Kingslake is upset enough that Sir Ashley has been injured saving her without having to listen to your ramblings.’
Lord Cadogan gave an angry snort and the whole encounter might have ended in one calling the other out if a discreet cough had not made them all turn to see the footman had returned. ‘Lord Trentham, Sir Ashley is ready to receive you now.’
Pippa did not feel like going up, she felt more like fleeing, but one look at Lord Cadogan’s thunderous face was enough to put steel into her backbone. She would be damned if she would allow him to dictate to her and keep her from her visit, even though any hope that Ash would love her as she loved him had gone. She rose unsteadily and followed William and Eleanor up the stairs. The banging of the front door told them his lordship had left.
She could not help thinking about his remark that she was a replacement for Mrs Thornley. How many other people thought that? she wondered. Did Sir Ashley think it? How humiliating for her if he did. There was a chair outside the door of the room to which the footman was taking them and Pippa, unable to face Ash, subsided onto it. ‘I will wait here for you,’ she said, handing Eleanor the small parcel she had brought for the invalid. ‘Give him this with my good wishes for his speedy recovery.’
If Eleanor was surprised, she did not show it, but took the package and followed her husband into the room.
Ash had been shaved, had his hair brushed and tied back and there was a shawl about his shoulders. A colourful rug covered his legs. ‘Forgive me if I do not get up,’ he said. ‘As you can see I am somewhat indisposed.’ He looked past them, expecting to see Pippa. ‘But where is Miss Kingslake? Was she injured after all? Is she, like me, unable to stir?’
‘Philippa sustained a few bruises, but nothing to worry about,’ Eleanor said, handing him the little parcel. ‘She sent this to help you while away the hours.’
He took the paper off it to reveal Pippa’s latest book. ‘Held to Ransom,’ he said, reading the title, his lips twitching at the irony of it. If ever anyone was being held to ransom it was he. ‘I shall read it with pleasure, but why did she not come with you? This is not a bedchamber and I am decently clad.’
‘She came, but she is a little upset. We met Lord Cadogan in the hall. He was excessively rude to her.’
‘Damn the man. I hoped they would not meet, at least not before I had broken the news to her.’
‘I wish you would explain,’ William said.
‘I have, on the recent demise of my cousin, Edward, become Lord Cadogan’s heir. It was totally unexpected. I would not have Miss Kingslake upset over it for worlds. Where is she? Has she left?’
‘She is sitting outside the door.’
‘So near and yet so far,’ he murmured. He raised his voice. ‘Miss Kingslake, I wish you would come in. I want to see for myself that you are well and none the worse for your fall.’
Pippa rose and walked slowly into the room. Ash lay on his daybed, grey with pain and fatigue, nothing like the strong, cheerful man he had been, and it was all on account of her. If she had not come to London and involved him in her search for Nat, if he had not felt he had to escort her out and about, then he would not be lying injured. Her heart, already his, ached with sorrow and remorse and the misery of knowing nothing could come of her love for him. There were too many obstacles. She could not bring herself to upbraid him for not telling her about Edward, especially in front of Eleanor and William. Her pride would not let them see how much it mattered.
She approached the bed, close enough for him to grasp her hand. His grip was surprisingly strong. ‘How are you, Pippa?’ he asked, eliciting a gasp from Eleanor for not only using Pippa’s Christian name, but its diminutive.
‘I am perfectly well, thank you, Sir Ashley.’ She was still shaking from her encounter with Lord Cadogan and her answer was stilted. The use of her name hardly registered on her conscious mind. ‘More importantly, how are you? If you had not thrown yourself on top of me, it would have been my back that was broken and I am truly grateful for your intervention. It was a very gallant thing to do.’
‘My back is not broken,’ he said firmly. ‘I shall be my old self in no time at all.’ He paused. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but it was difficult to have a personal conversation with Lord and Lady Trentham present. It would have to wait. ‘Thank you for your gift. I shall read it with interest. Is it the one about the pirates?’
‘Yes.’
‘And how is the smuggling book coming along?’
‘I am afraid I have done nothing since I came to London. There has been too much else on my mind.’
‘I am sorry for that,’ he said, searching her face. ‘If I could relieve your mind, I would.’
She understood he was speaking of her search for Nat. ‘I know.’
The gulf that had opened up between them had widened since her encounter with Lord Cadogan and, though her heart was full, there was nothing more she could say. She withdrew her hand from his.
‘We must not tire Sir Ashley,’ Eleanor said. ‘Come, Pippa, we will leave him to rest.’
It was better that way, Ash told himself as he watched them depart. Until he had recovered his health and, more importantly, solved the mystery of Nat Kingslake, he could say nothing to Pippa of what he felt. But she had been looking bleak and he cursed himself for not telling her about Edward as soon as he heard the news himself. Lord Cadogan was the most tactless man in the world to accost her in that way. No wonder she looked forlorn. If they had been alone, he could have explained, could have reassured her in more positive ways than simply taking her hand. Being in love was not the easy ride he had supposed it to be; it was as bumpy as a pot-holed road.
His valet came in bearing a tray on which was a small glass of a brown liquid, which had been prescribed to deaden the pain in his back, but the few doses he had taken had turned his brain to wool and he could not think straight. And he had to think. He refused the medicine. ‘I want you to take a message to Captain Carstairs,’ he told Mortimer, who was making disapproving noises. ‘I would welcome a visit from him at his earliest convenience.’