by Lissa Kasey
Aki nodded. “I just want to go home.” He needed to see his closet of shoes, sleep in his tiny bed—or even in Candy’s—and just feel like he was real again. “I don’t want this to be a dream.”
“It’s not a dream. We are all right here,” Candy assured him.
But Aki couldn’t shake the fear. What if he closed his eyes again and woke up the next time back in the camp? His left eye suddenly had a tunnel of dark edges around it. How odd. He tried to ask if he’d get to leave soon, but the tunnel swallowed him up completely.
RECOVERING, THE doctors said. Shane had never had fear settle so strongly in his gut as it had the moment when Aki had been up and talking only to have a seizure so bad that it took half a dozen nurses to hold him down. When the shaking finally stopped, everyone seemed to have lost all sense of motion. They all stared at each other, not wanting to think about what it meant that Aki had tumors in his brain or that he was having seizures and was confused as to what was real and not.
Shane’s phone rang. At least he was in the waiting area so he could take it. They’d all been kicked out of Aki’s room so he could be taken for more tests. Not that it mattered since he was unconscious again anyway. The call was from Taylor.
“We’ve got another missing kid.”
For a moment Shane stood there just thinking, Who the fuck cares? Then he let out a deep breath. Their families, of course. Even rich people could miss their kids. Maybe. Sometimes.
“That’s quick for him to reestablish a lab. You got a mark, the note? Same MO?”
“Yeah. Already talked to the parents. They fessed up to an eye-dyeing surgery. Well-off, but not in the same range as the rest of our victims. This kid is small, blond, and blue-eyed.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. And not the same doctor. We’ve got three different doctors. None of them are A-Ms.”
“Maybe he’s got one working for him?”
“You know we don’t have that kind of control. There would be blood at the abduction scenes.”
Fuck, could this get any worse?
“Someone leaked the surgery info to the press.”
“What? Biniski’s going to flip his lid.” Shane glared at the hallway where Aki had vanished for more tests.
“Already has. He’s blaming you. Apparently you’re on record as okaying the release of medical records.”
“Not to the press, just internal to the case.” Came back to bite him in the ass, hadn’t it? “Page okay?”
“Yeah, she’s doing the duck and cover. The department obviously has a leak. You might want to come down to the station before Biniski takes his complaints to the air just to spite us all.” Taylor sounded tired. “My cycle is coming. I’ve got maybe forty-eight hours.”
Shane didn’t know the man could predict it, but it made sense. Why else would he be working for the ISS on cases like this? He’d have to have a pretty regular cycle. “They just took Aki in for more tests, so I have some time. I’ll head your way.”
“I can pick you up. I just can’t go inside the hospital right now. The smell….”
Shane knew. Yeah, hospitals always smelled of disinfectants, sometimes blood and the like after a bad accident, but the worst was the smell of weakness. Like a lion sniffing out a wounded gazelle, the scent called to them. It was worse near the cycle. Shane had had years to grow used to it, but Taylor was very young.
“I understand. I’ll meet you downstairs. Just have to go convince someone to call me with updates.”
“You really have a thing for this kid?”
Shane smiled faintly and hung up without answering. He searched for Candy first, figuring they had a mutual bit of blackmail on each other. By the time he got downstairs, there was a media circus outside, and Taylor had to escort him to the car like he was some sort of celebrity. That couldn’t be good.
Biniski had blown up his phone a half dozen times; so had Page and the chief. This was going to be bad. The chief meeting him before he even got halfway through the station to pull him aside meant only one thing.
“You’re being suspended,” the chief told him quietly. “Unpaid leave while Internal Affairs investigates. I’m sorry.”
Shane sighed to himself. He should have seen this coming. “How likely am I done for good?”
The chief’s expression said it all. Shane took his badge out of his pocket then removed his gun and holder before handing them to his boss.
“You’re the best I had, McNaughton.”
“Not good enough to stop this psycho, though, right?” Shane pushed his way out to his desk where he grabbed the few things that were actually his. Not that he had anything personal. Most of it was things given to him by his coworkers, like the waving Lucky Cat from Page and the potted ivy from Detective Glenn’s wife.
Page tapped on his desk. Shane gave her a tight smile. She was a wreck, but he shook his head as she opened her mouth to speak. “No need. Just take care of yourself.”
“But we still have a missing kid….”
Yeah, and didn’t that just bite? Leaving in the middle of an unsolved case this big. He thought back to his stack of MP cases and the databases he’d created to try to come up with leads. He always found the most random threads to pull a case together. Guess that was all in the past now. He should have been angry, but he was really just tired. Tired of finding dead people. Tired of working twenty-four seven. And tired of hiding what he was, so as to not scare the norms.
“Can’t save everyone,” Shane mumbled. “Been trying for nearly forty years.” He probably had weeks of vacation time that he could cash out, maybe even months. Maybe it had been time to think about retiring from the force anyway.
Page sat down hard in the chair across from him.
Shane banged a pen she’d given him three years ago on the desk. “Hey, if they offer you my job, take it, okay? They need someone who can pull their head out of their ass in this position.”
She nodded mutely. Shane got up and headed for the door. It was a bit like a funeral. Everyone stood to shake his hand and somberly wish him well. They all knew where this suspension was leading. He supposed he had it coming.
He paused at the door where Biniski waited, arms folded across his chest, then turned back to the chief. “Let’s make it easy on everyone. I quit.” Shane turned to smile at the senator. “I quit. You wanted my job. Good luck.” He walked right past the man, ignoring the blubbering and demands for attention. Oddly enough, Taylor still sat parked in the same place. Shane was grateful the younger A-M had waited.
“The ISS will take you in a heartbeat,” Taylor said as Shane put his mostly empty box in the backseat.
“Nah. I think I’m done dancing like a monkey.”
Taylor nodded and pointed them toward Shane’s house. All those years ago, Shane had left the war something other than human. Now he looked back and realized he’d never done anything about it, never cared to be anything more than the soldier following orders. It was time to create his own rules and stop killing himself at work for everyone else to avoid going home to an empty house. Embrace what he wanted. And he wanted Misaki Itou.
SEVENTEEN
AKI SPENT the first week in the hospital sleeping, going through tests, and sleeping some more. He was surprised to wake one evening with Shane sitting beside the bed. The man looked tired and scruffy, but it was good to see him.
“What time is it?” Aki whispered, feeling a little hoarse from days of rest.
Shane held up a glass of water with a straw. “After midnight. Everyone went home hours ago. Figured you’d sleep the night.”
“But not you?”
“Been watching you sleep. As long as I stay out of the way of the nurses, they let me stay.” He patted the chair he sat in. “Good place as any to sleep.”
It didn’t look comfortable at all. “You should go home and rest. You look tired.”
“You don’t want me here?”
Aki blinked at the man, confused again by all the emotions that
McNaughton made swirl inside his head. “I just don’t want to be a burden to you.” He took a sip of the water and yawned. Why was he still so tired when he slept so darn much? “What about work? You have to catch that bad guy, right? Stop kids from going missing?”
“Some things are more important than work.” Shane frowned, then turned and picked up something from beside the chair. A stuffed bear, plush and bright blue in color. “Saw this and thought of your new shoes.” He wouldn’t meet Aki’s eyes, and he shoved it toward the companion. “Down in the gift shop they said that bright happy things can speed recovery. Maybe once you get out of here, I can take you to Artie’s. LuAnn told me the other day that they have been getting berries in pretty regularly.”
Aki smiled at the bear. It was so soft and squishy. Shane must have been sitting with it for a while, because it smelled faintly of peppermint. “Thank you. He’s wonderful.”
“It’s okay, you know.”
“Huh?”
“It’s okay for you to forget to be a whore around me.” Shane reached out, but stopped just before touching Aki’s face. “I want to touch you, but the doctors say you’re not well enough for that. The drugs won’t dull your ability enough. Have you ever felt the touch of someone who’s more than just a friend?” Shane sighed. “Candy says he holds you and you sleep better. It sounds stupid, but I wanna do that.”
“Hold me when I sleep?”
Shane’s nod was barely perceivable. “All the time.”
But the detective was always working. Aki only saw him a couple times a month, and often when Shane came in, he was tired from putting in endless days. The man had an important job, and Aki understood that, but he really couldn’t live with the tiny bits that he’d been getting. He needed someone to be there for him every day.
“McNaughton….”
“I know. You’re a whore. Bart says it’s infatuation that will fade. But two years, Aki. I came around as much as I could. Does infatuation last that long? Do all your clients come around that much?” He shook his head. “I’ve been alone so long I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I want more than what we have right now.”
“But wanting it won’t stop me from being a whore. Can you handle me servicing other men and dating you?”
“You won’t let me buy out your contract?”
Aki shook his head. His gut said no. He thought back to Paris’s many questions. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Shane; it was just that he wasn’t sure Shane was ready to be what he needed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Can we work on it? You tell me what you need, and I try to be there?”
Aki smiled. Wouldn’t that be nice? “I’m willing to try.” Though it scared the crap out of him. What if Shane got bored? Eventually everyone abandoned him, right? His earliest memory was of being dragged from a car and dropped at the feet of the guards in the concentration camp. Only Candy hadn’t, or Paris, or even Bart. Hope was terrifying, but really, what was life without hope?
That earth-shattering smile crossed Shane’s face, and Aki couldn’t help but smile back. The detective picked up his com tablet. “I’m not much for TV, but Candy says you like these. Figure this should put you back to sleep. You need your rest.” It was a foreign drama. Aki didn’t need the subtitles, as he understood what they said, but he figured Shane would need to read the stuff, so he didn’t complain. Just made himself comfortable, let the man adjust his blanket, and then dozed off to the warm feeling of not being alone.
SHANE ATTENDED more meetings in a week of being unemployed than he had in his entirety on the force. He’d handed in an official resignation, received a check for his unused time off that rivaled most people’s yearly salaries, and tested for and been granted a PI license, which included fingerprinting and DNA recording with the ISS. The ISS actually offered him a consultant’s contract, which he took with him to think about. They seemed to sense that he wasn’t going to put down roots with them so didn’t offer anything fulltime.
He spent his evenings dozing in the chair at the hospital, watching Aki sleep. Somehow just being that close made him feel useful. On the occasion that the drugs didn’t dull Aki’s brain enough to let him sleep, he’d toss and turn, crying out in his sleep, and Shane would whisper calming things to him, rub his hands and shoulders through the blankets. It seemed to help. He wished there was a way he could touch the companion without adding to the problem. He’d have to talk with Candy and see if the kid had any ideas on how to block his thoughts from the psi. There was so much to do, plans to be made, a life to build.
After a long talk with his accountant, Shane knew that he had a good amount of money, but since he was A-M and didn’t appear to be showing any signs of physical degradation like the rest of the world, no one knew how long he would live, so he couldn’t be free with his money. Being well invested meant more money coming in as long as there wasn’t another war that sent the markets dropping again. But forever was a long time to plan for. If Aki ever did decide to let him buy the companion’s contract, Shane would be working hard to restore the balance of his savings. The weekly visits to the Gem would set him back too—unless he had another income coming in—which was why he spent the day touring real estate for an office. He’d have to work, but that would be on his own terms now.
Nothing so far had jumped out at him. They were all the same: small, dark, cramped, and surrounded by norms who would freak seeing a psi or—God forbid the A-Ms ever came out—something not quite human going to and from. The last location was a building downtown. The architecture said it had survived at least two world wars; materials and arches that no one saw anymore decorated all three stories. The inside was a dump, empty except for beams and metal framing that seemed to fight to still be standing.
The location was perfect. Four blocks over was Just Shoes, and it was a half mile from the Gem and Artie’s. Neighbors were nothing more than an accounting firm on one side, trees and a parking lot on the other.
The place would need all new wiring, plumbing, a new roof—hell, it barely had walls. But it called to him. Priced low enough for him to buy outright, the space was huge, large enough to put a small waiting room up front and an office or two in back. If he added a second and third floor, he could sell the house and eliminate the commute to work. He could imagine Aki at the reception desk out front, taking calls for him, greeting clients with that sweet smile of his, making coffee, and leading them back to Shane’s office for a meeting. Shane hoped for long lunch breaks fucking the psi over his desk or quickies before scheduled appointments. Upstairs he’d have a huge master bedroom with a walk-in closet large enough to hold all the shoes Aki could ever dream of owning. None of the rest of the space mattered so long as he could put Aki in it. He sighed at the thought. A month ago he’d barely entertained the idea. Now it was all he could think about.
“I’ll take it,” he told the agent. He knew a contractor, had found the man’s daughter who’d been kidnapped by her boyfriend, saved her life. Shane could imagine Grey would know where to start to fix the place up. He followed the agent back to the car where they wrote up paperwork. Having been empty for so long, the place would be quick to change hands. Shane just had to get the actual space and the vision in his head to mesh.
His next meeting, the last meeting he had scheduled, was likely to be the hardest. He hoped to get it over with as soon as possible so he could check in with Aki. Paris wouldn’t have demanded the meeting if Aki wasn’t well. The fact that the senator had demanded he come to his downtown loft instead of a public place worried Shane a little. The man was physically smaller than him, but obviously more powerful since he was a political official with more money than half of City M combined.
Shane arrived at the high-rise and was quickly escorted upstairs by security. The former companion had more guards than the entirety of the Hidden Gem. Did Paris have that many enemies? The loft was decorated stylishly, like a movie set, walls of windows to look out over the view of the city lights.
Beautiful, really. Had he made this sort of money being a whore? Somehow that was hard to fathom.
“Welcome, Detective. Do you still wish to be called that? I heard you quit.” Paris stepped into the room, looking like the celebrity he should have been, all glam, perfectly pressed clothes, and good posture. “There has been talk in the senate about relieving Biniski of his seat for City M’s loss. You really have an amazing track record. Thousands found. I had no idea. Perhaps you should look at becoming a politician.”
Shane shrugged. He was pretty sure he’d never be slimy enough to run for office. He did what he could to help people because it was the right thing to do, not because he was looking for a pat on the back.
“And modest. Wonderful. This should be fun.”
“I’m not exactly sure what this is.”
“First day of training. You do wish to eventually buy Misaki’s contract, do you not?”
“He already refused when I offered.”
“So are you giving up on him?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you know why he refused?”
“Candy said it’s because neither of us are ready for that yet.”
“Candy is brilliant as always. One of the best things I’ve ever done, smuggling that boy out of the South like some exclusive contraband.” Paris folded his hands together. “Misaki refused you because you’re not yet providing what he needs. Tonight will be the first of a series of training sessions between you and me. Once the first two lessons are completed successfully, you will be allowed to date Misaki. Bart will even give him nights off to spend time with you. I will ensure an addendum is added to his contract to prevent the final balance from growing. I checked your financials. It’s good that you’re not just going to sit on the money you have and expect to get by. Misaki is used to material comforts. He has a fair amount in savings, but not nearly enough to buy out his contract. Most companion contracts are fifteen to twenty years of indentured service. Misaki’s is fifteen. At the rate he is earning income, he could buy it out in seven. If he controlled his powers and bent over, he’d be out in four.” Paris crossed the room to stand in front of Shane, but the man had to look up to meet his eyes. For a minute Shane almost felt like he had the power in the room, but only a minute. “Choose a safeword. Something you’ll say to get me to stop completely. And a second word for a pause. Many just use red and yellow when first starting out.”