by Lissa Kasey
“Me?” Aki shook his head. He didn’t change into any sort of animal. He just had the unfortunate skill of reading people’s heads.
“You have both psi strains and A-M strains in your DNA. It’s unheard of, as they kill off the host when mixed. Yet here you are.”
“I don’t change into anything. I get headaches, but nothing like you describe.” He had a headache right now, probably from the strain he’d put on focusing his powers over the past few days added with the stress of his upcoming date with Shane.
“I’m not showing you this to scare you.” He put the com tablet away. “I want to give you a chance to understand Shane better. Why he comes across as gruff and dangerous, especially when his cycle is near. I want you to be cautious of him, watch for the change. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Shane would never hurt me.” Did Shane really turn into something? Did he hurt like that before it happened? Aki could barely breathe at the thought. Maybe Paris would know how to help Aki make sense of it all. Surely there had to be a way to stop it, or at least ease the pain. Aki got up from the table. “You should go. I need to think.”
Jack nodded. “I’m sorry to have been the one to tell you this. I know you’ve had a difficult life and hard memories, but I didn’t want you to be in the dark. If you manifest A-M abilities, shift into something, you may hurt someone. And that is something you’ll never forgive yourself for.” The look on the man’s face said he’d experienced just that.
“Are these things always predators?”
“Those who survive, yes. The other strains tend to kill the host with the first change. Perhaps the healing ability is just not as strong in them. No one really knows.”
Aki nodded, thinking back to the single kiss he’d shared with Shane. The violence, the need for pain and blood, was that the animal in him? “I need to think.”
“You have my number. Call if you have questions. Ask instead of stewing and fearing what we are. I have my own issues. The people who dragged me into the lab and strapped me down to do this to me were psis like yourself. Pale pupils with slanted eyes. I know you’re not them, and I haven’t treated you as I should have. I am sorry. I’m working on it.”
It made sense that the man kept him at a distance because he was afraid. It wasn’t the general bias that most people had when it came to psis, but something truly rooted in memories of a painful past.
“I will ask Shane if I have questions. Thank you for sharing your secrets with me, Detective Taylor.”
Jack shrugged one last time and left. Aki made his way to the kitchen on autopilot, his brain a mash of crazy ideas, questions, and anxiety.
“What did he want?” Candy asked. He sat at the table with a bowl of frozen yogurt and fresh strawberries. “Pull up a spoon. You’re pale all of a sudden, maybe the sugar will help.”
Aki grabbed a clean spoon and sat down beside his best friend. Two spoons of icy-cold sweetness later and he was feeling a little more focused. “Do you know what A-M means? That there are people who turn into animals because of a genetic mutation caused by the last plague?” he finally asked his best friend.
“Mhmm. None of us figured you were ready to learn about that just yet.”
“Who’s us?”
“Bart, Paris, DM, me.”
“So everyone knew about this?”
Candy gripped Aki’s hand. “Sweetie, you were in the hospital for two weeks after meeting Ino, who is an A-M. Paris thought maybe the man’s thoughts or emotions passed without touching you since he’s an A-M. Said sometimes you react funny to other psis or A-Ms. Bart screens them at the Gem. The only A-M to ever get to you is DM and only him because he got through before anyone ever knew what he was. Any others are heavily monitored. I’ve serviced a handful of them and all with heavy guards in the room with me. Most aren’t quite as old or in control is McNaughton is. Taylor sure isn’t. I don’t think Bart would actually let any companion at the Gem service him.”
“They’re dangerous?”
“No more than anyone else. If they are able to function as regular people, that means the ISS has already screened them, knows that they have a manageable cycle. But they have more violence in them. Quick to anger. I’ve heard some can partially shift. You know DM would never hurt you.”
But Aki’s mind kept going back to the kiss they’d shared and the image that Taylor had shown him of someone killed by an A-M. This serial killer was an A-M. That’s what Taylor had been saying without actually saying it.
The sound of voices filled the back hall.
“Paris is here. You have a date with DM after class tonight. Are you going to be okay? Are you afraid of him now?”
Was he? Aki replayed the video in his head of Taylor’s change. The pain, the gore, and the final change. Not afraid, no. Saddened. Did Shane hurt like that every time? How awful. “I need to talk to Paris.” He had to know something. Maybe there was a way to fix it. After all, Paris was a senator. The government knew everything, right?
TWENTY-FOUR
“BUT THERE has to be pills or some kind of medicine to make it hurt less,” Aki insisted as he changed into the outfit that Paris had brought with him—black hose with soft garters under a denim skirt with lace down the sides and on the edges and a dark blue button-up untucked that just barely hit his waist. It was more casual than anything Paris normally chose for him.
“Their bodies don’t even process it. It’s an unknown chemical so it just passes through. A-Ms are resistant to all known poisons, and their body kills viruses and diseases off like it’s laser targeted for destruction. I wish Taylor hadn’t brought this up to you yet.” Paris was fiddling with Aki’s hair, making something with elaborate braids and many jeweled clips. “Will you treat McNaughton different now that you know? Do you want to cancel the date?”
“No.” Aki had questions but was more concerned about any pain that Shane experienced rather than his own discomfort from this new revelation. “I’m a psi. If he can overlook that, I can handle him turning furry. I’m not exactly normal. I like animals. They’re soft and nice so long as they don’t bite.”
Paris laughed. “That’s an understatement.”
“What does he turn into? Do you know?”
“I think that’s something you should ask him.”
“But it hurts him?”
“I believe all A-Ms experience pain when the change comes. Even years and hundreds of changes couldn’t lessen the breaking of bones and restructuring of muscles. It’s something I’d never want to experience.”
Aki sighed, wishing there was something he could do. “The clips are pretty.” Like tiny gems of a rainbow sparkling in the mirror.
“They match the shoes. All McNaughton’s choice. I wanted something more sophisticated for your first real date. Had this lovely blue cashmere sweater dress picked out, but the man refused. Said he’s taking you to Artie’s of all places, and the sweater would be overdressing.”
“I love Artie’s.”
Paris pinned the last clip into Aki’s hair. The sides had been swept back in elaborate braids, a bun at the crown of his head was covered in tiny jewels, and the back had been left free to hang in shining curls.
“Would prefer your hair up too. But the date is not with me.”
Aki smiled at his reflection. The pins made him feel like he was wearing a tiara. Paris handed him a box with shoes in it. These were like the blue-gem heels, only in rainbow tones. They refracted rainbows off them like a prism, turning different colors in varying shades depending on the light. Aki slipped them on, loving them even more than his blue heels.
“I feel like a princess.”
Paris smiled as he packed the boxes he’d brought away. “You make a lovely princess, Misaki. If your detective can make you feel that way all the time, he has my approval.”
Candy opened the door to their room. He whistled. “Damn, Aki, you look amazing.” He crossed the room and pulled his makeup kit out of the bathroom. “Let’s fix up you
r eyes.”
“Nothing overboard,” Paris told them. “McNaughton wants it simple.”
“Eyeliner, mascara, a little shadow, and some gloss. Basic stuff. Nothing heavy, I promise.” Candy went to work. Aki almost wanted to beg for gems or something glittery to be added to his face. What if all Shane saw were the gems in his hair or on his feet? Would the man even look at his face? “Done. No rubbing your eyes. You do that all the time when you’re tired.”
“I’m not tired,” Aki protested.
“Let me see your nails.” Candy grabbed Aki’s hand and examined his nails for chips. As usual he had clear lacquer and tiny gems pasted on them. “Looks good. Wish we’d known about the rainbow theme, could have had multicolor nails or something. You clean up like I told you to?”
Aki blushed. He’d never been so thorough in the bathroom before. Squeaky clean inside and out. He hadn’t realized how much work Candy had to go through most nights just to be the hottest piece of ass in town. When Aki had asked for help completing the list Shane gave, he had been a little shocked to learn just how detailed that meant. Hopefully Shane appreciated all the effort.
“One last thing.” Candy took off his necklace and put it on Aki.
“I can’t wear this. It’s so important to you,” Aki protested. The last link to his little sister. The metal was warm against Aki’s skin, and unlike most other objects Candy touched, Aki could faintly feel the colored clouds.
“Just for tonight,” Candy promised.
Aki looked in the mirror again, smiling at the gentle, sultry colors around his eyes. They made the pale blue stand out without looking overdone, and the gloss simply glistened on his lips. The gems and the necklace, everything about him sparkled.
“I have to go to class yet. Maybe I should tone it down for a while?” Would everyone stare at him? He thought back to the only piece of clothing he’d been allowed to choose for himself, which was his underwear. He’d picked soft red lace bikinis, thinking that maybe Shane would like the pop of color. But that was before the shoes and the clips. Now they felt so plain. Did he have time to pick something else? Maybe Candy had something more colorful he could borrow.
“Class is just you, me, and Dr. Vitoric today. Everyone else will be practicing what they learned last week with more advanced students supervising in a different room. We are going to work on your shielding.” Paris adjusted Aki’s collar for probably the tenth time. “She likes how easily you connect to everyone’s quiet place, but the shielding thing needs more work since your abilities are so advanced.”
“I’m trying really hard.” And Aki was. He wanted to learn this shielding thing. He liked the quiet place as everyone’s was so different, but he also wanted to touch people without having to connect to that. And he really wanted to kiss Shane for real, no blood or guts or scary animals involved.
“We know you are. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. These things take time.” Paris motioned to Candy, who was getting ready himself, though it was pretty early in the day. “Do you want help with hair or makeup?”
“We’re just going to the zoo and then dinner. I think I’ll stay casual. Tone down the makeup a bit.” Candy’s hair was blue now with streaks of purple and pink.
“You have a date?” Aki asked.
“Of the paying kind with that doctor who’s been back a few times. Claudius is my escort, and I’ll be back by two, so no worries. You, however, should stay out late, get fucked, come home smiling like a loon to give me all the juicy details.”
“I don’t know if that will happen.”
“Well, at least have some kind of sex. Let him blow you for a change.”
Aki glanced at Paris, searching for any signs of disapproval but found none. Was it really okay if he and Shane had sex that the detective didn’t have to pay for?
“I’m thinking that McNaughton will at least blow his mind.” Paris smiled at them and held out his hand to Aki. “Ready for class?”
As ready as he was ever going to be. It was the date that would start in two and a half hours that he was nervous for. He grabbed his phone, stuffed it in his pocket, and followed Paris out.
“Be safe,” he called back to his best friend.
“Always am, sweetie. Have fun!”
AKI WALKED through the rain though his skin remained dry. He knew Paris was calm by the tone of the storm. The water couldn’t reach Aki anyway as long as he had his shield in place.
“Can you find beyond his quiet place?” the doctor’s voice whispered through Aki’s mind. “It may look never-ending, but there’s always a trick to finding the way out, a displacement of light, like the waves off a highway in the middle of summer.”
Aki paused and let his gaze drift around the rain-drenched landscape. Everything looked as solid as it could through the smattering of rain. Wait… off toward the trees when he turned his head just right, he could see gentle waves of movement not related to the downpour. He walked toward it, worrying that he’d see something bad from Paris or that he’d somehow hurt the man.
“We’re just going to take a glimpse beyond. Just to give you a chance to feel the change,” the doctor told him. She stayed firmly in his head, though he couldn’t see her. Her shields were strong, powers beyond what everyone claimed he had. But she’d been nice enough to him, shown him so much with a lot of patience and guidance.
Aki stepped through the wavy barrier without hesitating, and with it, into Paris’s mind. The doctor kept him focused, forced him to keep calm and breathe through the onslaught of images, everything from lovers and scenes in his home dungeon to bits of his childhood. Aki let it all filter, not grabbing any one memory, but instead letting them flow over him as though he were just a pebble in a lake. If asked later to recall something in particular, he would have been at a loss. But general information remained. Enough for Aki to know that despite his mentor’s protests, Paris was not happy with his life but had not yet found a way to change it. Aki stepped back through the barrier just as easily as breathing and was surprised he’d never figured it out on his own.
“We rarely look for simple solutions to anything in life. It’s human nature to complicate things.” The doctor guided him back through the rain and pulled him back into himself. He felt Paris’s barrier go up and the presence of the quiet place leave him completely. Thankfully Paris looked no worse off than when they’d started. He held Aki’s hand, but it was just a warm weight instead of a constant mental push. Paris had caught on to the shielding thing really fast.
The doctor sat beside Aki, holding his other hand. “Let’s work a little more on your shielding. Then we’ll walk through Paris one more time to practice.” They both nodded.
Aki had a headache by the end of class, but Paris had given him a handful of painkillers and a bottle of water. He’d never worked so hard to keep anyone out of his head. The doctor had been brutal, pushing at his shield until he was sure his head would explode. At least he’d come out of it feeling like he could keep that barrier in place. And Dr. Vitoric assured him that it worked both ways, keeping him out of other people’s heads as well as them out his. Apparently Paris did it naturally, so Aki had spent a lot of time studying him.
The rainy, quiet place was his barrier, something that made him unreadable to pretty much any other psi. Aki had stepped through the hidden barrier a half dozen times, each time glimpsing memories but not focusing on anything so not really seeing anything. The doctor said in a few weeks they would work on how to pick and choose memories to view from the most basic, like choosing an emotion, to the most hard to find, like the things he would need to help Shane with cases. Dr. Vitoric told him it could take months for him to become that skilled. Aki wasn’t sure he wanted to dig that deep. He was pretty happy just keeping everyone out of his head.
Aki thought about the quiet place and how it seemed to change with the emotions for Paris. The rain was calm and peaceful when he was at ease, heavy and brutal ice rain when something upset him. Could
Aki do that? Create a quiet place as a barrier instead of just a wall?
He thought for a long time about his closet of shoes. Imagined the many rows and colors, the different shapes, open-toed or closed, chunk, wedge, or stiletto. When the doctor pushed harder, he thought more of the stilettos, which were sharp and dangerous. Without her pushing he could keep the glittery ones at the forefront. Maybe add a soft lace pair or two.
Paris had actually laughed when the doctor described the place to him. “Leave it to Misaki to use shoes as his shield.”
When they were finally finished, Paris escorted Aki downstairs to the lower level where Shane stood waiting next to his car. He had cleaned up again, like he had that day so many weeks ago when they’d almost shared their second kiss. His jeans clung in all the right places, his shirt hugged his wide shoulders, and his hair was brushed back into a tiny tail. When had it gotten so long? Aki wanted to run his fingers through it.
He let go of Paris’s hand to stand before Shane, hoping he liked what he saw. “Here as ordered, Sir,” Aki whispered.
“Shield in place, boy?” Shane asked. He glanced at Paris, who nodded.
“Yes, Sir.”
“A test, then. Best to do it now so we know how the evening will proceed, eh?” Shane leaned forward and captured Aki’s lips with his own in a breath-stealing kiss. Aki fought to keep his shield in place, his closet of shoes his stronghold even as the man’s soft peppermint-flavored tongue darted between his lips to taste his own. Was this what kissing was supposed to be? Aki clung to the man’s sleeve, breathing in his scent and letting the warmth filter through him. He got the briefest glimpse of something dark and immediately sought out Shane’s quiet place before pulling away from the kiss. He wasn’t ready for it to end yet.
A green meadow surrounded by trees. It felt familiar. Hadn’t he dreamed of that place before? Shane pulled away, taking the space with him, but his eyes were heavy with lust and need as he stared down at Aki.