by Cherry Kay
Christmas carols became louder and Christmas trees with shiny ornaments decorated the large square. Everything was absolutely wonderful, like a Disneyland almost. Smiles and rings of laughter swirled along with soft blows from the wind.
Then all of a sudden, there he stood; James Smith, tall, foreboding, and eyes full of mystery. The way he looked at me shook my innards all over, and if it hadn’t been for the long sleeves on my arms, goose bumps would’ve gladly made themselves visible.
He smiled a little upon seeing me. I couldn’t help but notice a hint of disturbance in his eyes. There was definitely something wrong. Normally he appeared secure and perfectly in control of everything.
I walked up to me and faced me, his eyes searching me, piercing my soul as he did every time. What was he thinking about? Was it the same thing that plagued my mind constantly? I hoped so. I was eager to get rid of this nauseating nervousness tickling my stomach.
“Let’s get you something warm to drink,” he offered, standing next to me and offering me his arm. I hesitated before taking it and letting him lead me down the street. There were cars everywhere. Instead of walking on whatever side I was on, he strategically placed himself on the outer edge of the sidewalk. I looked at him gratefully. He was definitely a gentleman when he wanted to be.
We didn’t say a word the few minutes it took to walk down there. When we got inside and stepped into the warm cozy café, he immediately walked up and ordered me a Caramel Latte.
I stared at him from behind, taking in everything. The way he had parted his hair, the scarf that adorned his neck, and the long sleeve that protruded below the usual vest he wore. He was dressed up for a reason and I couldn’t help but anticipate the following conversation. What should I say? I didn’t want to seem desperate. Perhaps I should let him do all the talking?
It didn’t take long for me to quit thinking about it. He brought it all up almost the instant we sat down by a little window.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, clearing his throat. “About everything actually.”
I took a sip of my coffee, my heart now pounding in my throat in reference to what he was talking about. I felt like I should say something. “I have too.”
He reached out his finger and placed it on my lips. “Let me just get this all out before you say anything,” he said, his eyes casting a pleading look. This was a side of him I wasn’t quite used to, rendering me almost speechless without his request having sunk in.
“As I was saying,” he continued. “I’ve been thinking about everything. About high school, our night together, and how everything unfolded after that.” His mouth parted with those perfect lips moving erotically as he spoke.
I could feel the heat from the coffee spreading in my cold bones, but it wasn’t entirely the coffee that made the air grow almost too hot. The electricity dancing from our sexual connection overpowered any ill feelings I might’ve had towards him. I sat there, feverish.
“When I saw you come into my business, I immediately recognized you. I was instantly attracted to you again as I was forever ago…and…” He took a deep breath. “I hated you for that. I remembered how you’d treated me and I wanted to make you understand how it felt, which I know was wrong. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. So I figured if I slept with you and cut the ties, I might satisfy this hunger inside me and forget about you like I have so many other women…”
“But you couldn’t,” I interrupted, despite his request.
“No I couldn’t,” he agreed. “You’re so beautiful Ivy. You’re so beautiful and such a different person now. I’m the one that should be apologizing to you. You didn’t deserve that, especially since high school was so long ago. You’ve grown up, had a child of your own, and I’m the one here acting like a spoiled little high schooler who wants revenge from something that happened eons ago.”
We both remained silent. His gaze held mine in suspense. He wasn’t done talking.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is…I want to start over. I don’t know how else to say that I’m sorry. And if you decide you can’t stand being around me or you’re sore about everything, then I won’t blame you if you get up right now and walk away.”
That was it, the moment I was waiting for. I wanted him to say that so bad, to truly feel his regret for hurting me these past few weeks.
I really wanted to say yes, but yet at the same time I was scared. “I need some time to think about it,” I replied, seeing the flash of disappointment consume his face.
He nodded understandingly. “Want to go skating? I’ve heard it’s a lot of fun this time of year.”
I laughed a little to break the ice. “Sure,” I agreed, standing up. So many thoughts and emotions raced through my mind. I needed fresh air. It was getting way too hot in here for me in here. I could barely stand it.
James offered me his hand and I hesitatingly accepted it. I really wanted to say yes to him so badly, but for some reason I just couldn’t. Maybe it was the fact that if I let this man into my life, I needed to account for the effect it would have on Hope. I was a mother, after all. The choices I made with my love life would directly influence my daughter.
But deep down I knew that wasn’t the reason. I was scared. I didn’t want to feel hurt anymore. Opening that can of worms again meant it was a risk I would take and I wasn’t sure I should take it. The power was all in my own hands right now.
We made our way to the rink and James went to rent us skates. I looked over the ice at all the happy couples circling, a few falling, and a couple holding on to the rails for dear life. It was going to be one of those nights. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home with bruises tonight after landing on my ass a million times.
James returned with a small pair of skates in his hand. “I think these should fit,” he guessed, leaning down on the ground as I sat on the bench. His hands went for my feet and began to take off my pumps.
I laughed, his touch tickling me. “What are you doing,” I gasped, looking around to see if anyone was paying attention.
“Don’t question it,” he mused, continuing to put the skates on my cold bare feet.
So I sat there and let him do his thing. Afterwards he put on his own skates and we hobbled over to the entrance. I stepped out awkwardly onto the ice, testing the slippery wetness of the surface.
“I’m going so going to fall on this,” I announced, preparing him for my clumsiness.
“No you won’t. I’ve got you,” he said, expertly shoving himself out on the ice with grace. He beckoned me towards him. “Do you trust me?” he asked.
I wanted to trust him. I wanted to trust him so bad. Finally I said, “Yes. I trust you.”
He watched me hobble towards him and took me in his arms. God why did I have to pick skating? It was too perfect. The lights, the music, and the way his thick strong arms wrapped around my waist. I felt tingly all over.
Then all of a sudden Baby it’s Cold Outside began to play. I felt him instinctively hug me closer, pulling me with him and caressing my frailty. He made me feel like a woman, perfect and secure in his embrace.
We circled a little as he proceeded to show off a little. What was it with men and showing off? They simply couldn’t resist.
As the song continued snow began to fall. It started off light and sparse. As time went on it grew heavier and everyone was forced off the ice rink.
When we removed our skates and walked over to his car, he got inside and turned on the heat. I hesitated; knowing that if I got in, everything would be over. I stared above the car into space for a second before giving in. I couldn’t deny how much I wanted him. The attraction was beyond my control at this point. I felt like a lost puppy finally being shown the way, and it felt terrifying.
After closing the door and putting my hands to the vent, he drove off. He didn’t say where to. All I knew was we were going on some God given adventure on Christmas Eve.
By the time we got to our destination, darkness had fallen. I
looked up at the sky and down the dirt road from whence we came, finally coming to me where he had taken us. It was our old spot that we used to sneak off to in high school.
He put the car in park and stared ahead into the darkness. Trees surrounded us as the snow flew lightly across the heavens. The moon was beautiful tonight and the radio whispered softly in the distance.
He turned to me now, flinging off his seatbelt without a care in the world. His face came near mine as he took my cheek in his warm touch. “Tell me you don’t want to,” his eyes begged.
I could feel the turmoil in his heart, the want, and the desperation. He had been lying to himself this entire time.
This was the moment where I could completely cut the ties from him. I could break his heart, do what my mind thought would be smartest, but I couldn’t. “I can’t,” I admitted in hushed tones. “Because I do want to.”
Relief flooded through his face and the mischievousness once more replaced itself in those steel grey eyes. The heat from his breath intensified as he drew his mouth so close to mine. It was over…and I surrendered.
He kissed me then, such soft sweet kisses. They weren’t like those from before. They were pure, passionate, and perfect.
His soft lips caressed mine, touching and softly delving deeper. He was holding back the whirlwind storming inside of him, letting me feel a side of him that rarely came out.
After a few minutes of pure ecstasy, he stopped. “I don’t want to go too far this time,” he said, backing away from me. “I don’t want to ruin it.”
Fever took hold of me as I dismissed the words coming out of his mouth. He had awoken me, electricity and need wracking my starved body. I wanted him so much that I didn’t care. I could feel he wanted me too, but was too afraid to tread where we shouldn’t.
It was my turn to make the move. Removing my coat and tossing it on the floor, I expertly moved and climbed onto him.
“What are you doing…” he demanded half surprised, but I didn’t let him speak. I crashed my lips onto his, delving, licking, sucking until he didn’t refuse my touch. I was hungry for more, I needed more, and I would get more.
He hands came up to grab my ass, feeling under my dress with the beast I had awoken. He slammed me back against the steering wheel, ignoring the beeping of the horn as he pressed me against it. And then he ripped of my dress, cranking up the heat to keep me from getting chill.
The air smelled sweet. I could see fog clinging to the glass now in the distance, but none of it mattered. I trailed my hands all over him, feeling for the base of his shirt and tugging it off, vest and all. His mouth came to me as I felt his brute strength lift me further. His tongue brushed my exposed breasts with its warmth.
I would’ve tossed my head back but the lack of room wouldn’t allow it. Instead I pushed myself into his mouth and curled my hands in his hair. The sharp pleasurable agony of desire took hold of me, his tongue circling my dark nipples, and my sweet sex feeling his hardness grow within his clothes. I needed him, rubbing myself against him until mews escaped my lips.
“Take me,” I murmured in feverish tones. I didn’t bother to hide my desperation any longer.
I saw the flicker of heat light in his eyes, but the haze simmered it down. We looked drugged in the dim lighting of his car, perfectly oblivious to everything but the need.
He didn’t hesitate to hoist me up and rip his pants down as best he could in the confined space. I gazed down at the surprise waiting for me, raging hard and long from the immense excitement. His body was shaking beneath my touch, quivering with ravenous hunger.
I reached my hands down to touch him as he bit down on my breasts and let out a moan. He was velvety soft and hard in my hand. I could feel the pulse and felt his hand pull at my hair. How much longer could he go before the animalistic instinct drove him beyond that point? I hoped it would be soon.
In turn he moved his hand down and stroked me. “God,” I cried, breathing in heavy gasps. I felt swollen and wet, my thighs wrapping around his pelvis tightly with each brush of his fingers. I was angled perfectly for him, waiting for feel the sweet ache of his thrust.
Eagerly I tossed my thong off somewhere in the car.
When his fingers entered me I bit my lip, pulling on his hair. “Don’t stop,” I begged, feeling his moans match my own with their low deep gurgles.
Then he pulled my hips upwards, letting the tip of him softly touch my entrance. “I won’t,” He promised, licking my ear as he pushed me down onto him, letting the length of him penetrate and slide all the way inside of me.
I gasped, our faces contorting with the expression of painful pleasure. My insides ached with each thrust. I positioned my thighs tighter around him and rode him like a stallion. My entire body tingled from the perfection. And as we ground against each other, I felt him going deeper and deeper inside me.
His mouth went to my nipples again. That was when everything happened. The ache grew stronger and the dull hunger erupted within me, heightening to a point beyond control. I felt the climax and embraced it, also feeling his response from my high pitched squeals.
We both went over the brink together, thrusting together the final time, and letting that earthquake overcome our ready bodies. Together we cried in sync, grasping and scratching each other from the raw ecstasy taking us over. Inside we rocked together. I felt him empty himself, squeezing me half to death from the intensity of it all. God he was sexy when he came.
And when it was over, I rolled off of him and lay in that serene peaceful bliss that most people feel after sex. It was perfect clarity. The veiled haze was lifted and I looked over at him with such a feeling of love. But I knew now was not the time to say it. Perhaps one day when time permitted it, I would be able to speak those words.
He sat up now and looked over at me. “I guess this means yes,” he smiled mischievously.
I nodded back at him, taking in his carved chest and abs. He was definitely a piece of man alright.
I could see the satisfaction within him stir as he tugged on his pants and shirt. “I’ll take you home now,” he said, glancing at the time. It was nearing midnight already.
I felt around for my dress and pulled it over my head. “You’re invited for Christmas tomorrow,” I said expectantly. “My family wants to meet you.”
He laughed a little and found my panties at the base of his pedal. He handed them to me and nodded. “I’ll be there.”
Those were the last words we spoke before he drove away. The night swallowed us in the darkness, and when we arrived to pick up my sister’s car, and then at my house, he motioned for me to wait a second.
He fumbled around underneath his seat as I got out and circled to his car. He then produced a small little box. “I got this for you as a Christmas present. I figured you would like it,” he said. “And there’s plenty more to come for your daughter. I was hoping to come dressed the part, but I suppose I can raise a clatter in the middle of the night…with your permission of course.”
I gasped, surprised and accepted the gift. When I flipped it open I saw a set of keys with a Hyundai Logo on them. Wide eyed and utterly shocked I stared back at him. “You didn’t,” I half shouted and then lowered my voice. “You did?”
“It’s no biggie really,” he interjected. “I’ll drive by with it tomorrow and bring it to your family’s house first thing. It’s all yours, all fully paid for. I was hoping not to see you riding the subway again.”
I didn’t know how to handle it. Should I accept such a huge gift from a guy I barely knew? But then again I remembered something my mom always told me. When someone gives you something out of the goodness of their heart, accept it gratefully, don’t ask questions, and thank God.
“Thank you,” I said while blushing. I didn’t know what else to say.
“And about the whole subway thing,” he said while cringing. “I’d prefer never to talk about that again. It was a mess I had gotten myself into a while ago and you happened to walk in on it. It�
��s all taken care of now, I promise.”
Trusting him, I replied. “No worries,” and then leaned in to kiss him once more.
He got out of the car and walked me up to my door, my hands shaking with excitement. I had a car. No more worrying about getting a ride to places or relying on Gabrielle to take her places. I could be a perfectly independent young woman from now on.
I unlocked my door and turned to him. “This was probably the best gift anyone’s given me,” I beamed, tears threatening to fall down my cheek. I was touched utterly beyond belief.
He shook his head and interjected. “You were the best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten,” he whispered. Then we kissed goodbye amidst the falling snow.
Christmas carolers wandered down the street singing perfectly on pitch.
That evening James did come down the chimney all covered in soot. Little Hope jumped out of bed completely alarmed and screaming that Santa Claus was in the house.
We walked down together to go see, but by the time we got down he had managed to make it outside. So many neatly wrapped gifts were under the tree just waiting for her happy little face to light up. And did she light up. She ran over and slammed herself down on the floor, her eyes sparkling.
“Mommy can we open them now?”
I smiled and sat next to her. “Yes sweetie. We can open them now.”
I didn’t question how he did it. I was merely grateful inside for how special he made Christmas for us. There was no explaining the emotions I felt as her fingers eagerly ripped through the Christmas paper. It was beautiful.
Everything was perfect and as it should be.
THE END