by L. T. Smith
I pressed forwards, my lips capturing hers. The surge of sensation penetrated my being, ricocheted inside my chest, exploded through me in a wonder of colour and light and joy. Gina’s hand cupped my face, her mouth alive, searching, and in response, mine welcomed her exploration. Heat rose in all the places where our bodies met, the firmness of her making me yearn to be closer still.
I needed more—her kiss, her touch, her scent, her all. I opened my mouth and our breaths mingled, tongues tentatively seeking to ease the escalating want. A moan escaped, hers or mine, it didn’t matter. It was trapped between us in the joining of our mouths. All the fears I’d imagined about this kiss not being right, being inadequate, being stupid, disintegrated along with my primary fear of me losing my attraction to Gina. If anything, my attraction increased tenfold. The thought “because this is Gina” blossomed like an event captured on time-lapse video—so rapid, so colourful, so gloriously wonderful. There was no pause, no deliberation. I felt myself being totally, completely unfurled, like a silk napkin loosened from its ring, and the change of us two becoming one was effortless and perfect.
I could have kissed her forever. It was wordless mutual consent that slowed our kiss, our lips easing and lifting, only to return for short bursts of connection. As I pulled back, my breath eased slowly from me, the sound indicating the feeling of satisfaction and completeness that had taken up residence inside me.
Lifting my gaze, I was again caught up in the wonder of her eyes, those sublime eyes of divine shape, wide innocence, and dark lashes guarding their secrets. Those eyes whose colour eluded me, as it was constantly changing. The outer rim of her iris was still a dark green, the circle still definite and exact, but the usual translucent grey or green had been replaced by pure amber, shimmering and shifting, and totally bewitching.
I was lost in them, in Gina.
It was at that precise moment that I knew for certain, knew positively and absolutely, that romantic love did exist. It might be a dream, an ideal, but it was not impossible to experience it, to capture it. The key was knowing when to hold out my arms and embrace it. Letting go of things I believed I wanted, as well as letting go of ideas about whom I wanted to share my life with had both helped too. I had fixated on one person for the better part of my life, never questioning why I believed she was my one and only. I loved Gillian Parker, always had and always would love her. But I loved her as a friend, my best friend, the friend for whom I would fight to the death, and I knew she would do the same for me. But the love I felt for her was just that—friendship. It was me that had not been able to differentiate between the two, me who had been hankering after an unattainable illusion for far too long.
For the first time in over twenty years, I experienced a sense of freedom, of possibility, of direction. Instead of pining for the impossible, my heart knew that it had a chance to capture its desires. What a fabulous feeling that was.
“Hey, you okay?” Gina’s voice caressed my ears, just as her breath had done to my face.
I nodded, a smile erupting into a grin in an instant.
Gina tilted her head, her smile as wide as mine. “Shall we go get dinner?”
“I’d love to.” I would also have loved to stay longer to explore the new and incredible sensations that kissing her had sent surging through me.
Gina kissed me, then wrapped me in her arms and hugged me close. When she shifted away, the loss of her was immediate, the cool air a signal that I never really wanted her to be away from me for very long.
“To be honest, I’m more of a dessert person,” she said.
It was then I realised what Gill had meant about making sure I had dessert—and it wasn’t anything to do with ice cream or sticky toffee pudding with custard.
“I never used to be, but I think my tastes are changing.” I captured Gina’s hand and tugged her close, brushing my lips against hers. “It’s even early enough to get seconds, if we leave now.”
I trailed a finger along her cheek, an uncharacteristically bold move on my part. Considering my usual first dates both started and ended with disappointment, this date held an unexpected, unlimited promise. Not just for the continuing development of attraction through the entire evening, but the promise of something so much more, something lasting and wonderful.
I thought about what I had said to Jenny, about how I would work at a relationship if it was worth it. I think I’d got that a little wrong. It wasn’t a case of the relationship being worth it; it was a case of feeling I was worth it, we were worth it. And I was hoping that the woman who was standing looking expectantly into my eyes was going to be the woman I would give my all to, just as I hoped she would do the same for me.
Fingers crossed, my search was over. I had finally found my Ms Right, the woman I believed I could spend the rest of my life with. Time would tell. I just had to have dinner first.
And two desserts.
Chapter 15
The sun reflected off the window, obscuring the view of the shop inside. Still, Gina was hyperaware of the products on display. She shuffled her feet and coughed, but didn’t move towards the door. In the window she caught the reflection of Brynn’s easy smile, as if she frequented toy stores all the time. Choosing a present for Gill’s baby should have been a piece of cake. Who knew that there would be so many different kinds of newborn-baby toys to confuse the prospective godmothers?
Watching Gina examine all the different boxes, checking the age range and appropriateness of the gift, Brynn couldn’t stop the smile broadening on her face. Five and a half months had passed since they’d had their first date. Love had blossomed from the start…
I stopped writing. Again. This time it wasn’t because I didn’t know what to say next or because I was struggling to believe that love existed. Quite the opposite, actually.
This time I was struggling because I just couldn’t seem to formulate the sequence of words that would capture how very much in love with Gina Donaldson I actually was. Each and every day I fell in love with her a little bit more. Each and every day I became both lost and found in her. Each and every day my whole life opened up to new possibilities for our future.
“How’s the story coming along?”
I jumped a little, my heart thudding against my ribcage in both surprise and excitement.
Gina placed her hand on my shoulder, and I covered it and gave it a small squeeze.
“Good. It’s coming along good.” I turned and smiled up at her, my breath catching at how close her face was to mine. Her eyes were fixed on me—eyes of divine shape, wide innocence, and dark lashes that no longer guarded her secrets. Those eyes whose colour used to elude me as I believed it constantly changed. Now I knew the shifts from dark green, or translucent green or grey, reflected her moods, her emotions. I also knew the pure amber, the shimmering and totally bewitching pure amber, the pure amber they were at this precise moment, indicated her desire.
She leaned down and rested her chin on top of our joined hands and read the words on the screen, and all I could do was stare at her profile. I inhaled her scent, my lungs filling with her, my exhalation slow and measured.
“I still don’t understand why you’ve used our names.” Her eyes flicked to mine, one eyebrow lifting deliciously.
I shrugged, my ability to speak deserting me. I was just too blissfully overawed by all that was her.
“‘Love had blossomed from the start…,’ she read. “That was definitely true for me.”
Gina’s attention turned fully to me and time stopped. Her eyes searched my face, staring deeply into mine, tracking the line of my nose, sweeping the length of my lips so that even without her touching me, I experienced the caress of her gaze.
Leaning forwards, I kissed her, our mouths joining perfectly, the kiss insistent yet tantalisingly soft. My hand slipped from her chin to her hair, where my fingers threaded into her silken strands. Gina pressed against me, and my chair moved slightly with the pressure.
Each and every kiss we sha
red bound me closer to her. Each and every moment we shared made me ache to share more moments, share more memories.
I slowed the kiss, not really wanting to but needing to for a moment. Pressing my forehead against hers, I waited a second so I could catch my breath.
“I love you, Gina.” I drew back so her features were more in focus. “I’m so very much in love with you.”
Gina brushed the hair from the side of my face, all the while staring intently into me.
“From the very first moment I saw you, I believed you were the one for me.” She kissed my forehead. “Of course, I don’t mean when you were sprawled on the street.”
I smiled. The embarrassment of that situation was long gone.
“It was after you stood up and looked straight at me, straight into me. God.” Her eyes closed with deliberate slowness only to open to that darker shade that I loved. “I was completely lost. It was as if you had captured me completely in that one delicious moment. I saw me with you, saw us together, our lives forever joined.”
Gina brushed her lips over my nose and I grinned, my heart racing. I remembered my own thoughts when I had first seen her on the night I had fallen over on Elm Hill—images of breakfast together, our laughter over stolen toast, the shift in mood over stolen kisses as they transformed into kisses of desire.
The urge to ask Gina to move in with me hit me with a certainty that was unshakeable. I wanted to live the dream every day with her. All of it—the mundane to the sublime; the everyday chores seemed wonderful when shared with her. Still, I knew it was too soon, too soon to be taking that step, although I couldn’t think of one damned good reason for delaying what I hoped to be inevitable.
Instead of asking her, I gritted my teeth so I wouldn’t blurt it out and ruin the moment.
Gina titled her head and peered into my eyes as if she was reading my thoughts. A small blush began to climb up my throat, and the more I thought about not blushing, the more unavoidable it became.
She moved back slightly but continued to assess me. Had she read my mind? Did she now know my innermost longing? Was this the time I offered to make a cuppa?
She gave a small nod, as if she had just agreed to something, something I knew I hadn’t said.
Gina knelt on the floor in front of me. I opened my mouth, but she shook her head slightly, her lips pursing and opening as if she was trying to find the words and needed me to be quiet in order for her to find them.
She lowered her face and stared at what only could’ve been her knees whilst I sat mesmerised.
I started to speak, but she coughed and shifted her position so that she was on only one knee…only on one knee…only one…
“I know you may think this is too soon. I know it is too soon, but I don’t care.”
Gina was on one knee. In front of me. On one knee.
“Brynn.” She cleared her throat and lifted her face to meet mine, her hand reaching out to take my hand. “I’ve known from the first moment I saw you that you were the only woman I would ever want for the rest of my life.”
My heart was pounding, the ache of it agonisingly delectable. I was hoping I wasn’t going into cardiac arrest whilst believing it to be love. But then again, Gina was a doctor…
“I don’t want to move in.”
Maybe it was the breaking of my heart I was experiencing after all.
“No. I didn’t mean that.”
My jaw was clenched, the ache of it shifting up to my temples. I wanted to tell her it was okay, that she didn’t have to give me anything beyond what we already shared, but I just couldn’t. I was desperately trying to swallow my disappointment and the words that might come out with it.
“I meant that I want more than us moving in together.”
I couldn’t pull my gaze from her knees.
“Brynn Morgan, will you—”
“Yes!”
I knew the social etiquette was to wait to be asked, but I couldn’t wait one second longer. I had waited my whole life to love someone like this, to be so loved in return. I wasn’t going to wait even one more syllable.
“…marry me?” Gina looked at me as she absorbed my precipitous answer. “Yes?”
My head bobbed enthusiastically, my smile wide and full. “Yes. Definitely. Positively. Without the shadow of a dou—”
She kissed me, and all thought that didn’t include her and me was banished from my mind.
* * *
My heart was so filled with her, my head so overflowing with all that was mine because of Gina; my life was complete with her. Our love story was still unwritten, the first chapters still in draft. But I knew my beginning, middle, and ending would be with her, whether I got them down on paper or not.
And how positively perfect that was going to be.
###
About L.T. Smith
L.T. is a late bloomer when it comes to writing and didn’t begin until 2005 with her first novel Hearts and Flowers Border (first published in 2006).
She soon caught the bug and has written numerous tales, usually with a comical slant to reflect, as she calls it, ‘My warped view of the dramatic.’
Although she loves to write, L.T. loves to read, too—being an English teacher seems to demand it. Most of her free time is spent with her furry little men—two fluffy balls of trouble who keep her active and her apologies flowing.
CONNECT WITH L.T. SMITH
Blog: www.ltsmithfiction.wordpress.com
E-Mail: [email protected]
Other Books from Ylva Publishing
www.ylva-publishing.com
Once
(revised edition)
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ISBN: 978-3-95533-396-6 (mobi), 978-3-95533-397-3 (epub)
Length: 77,000 words (295 pages)
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After four years in a destructive relationship, Beth has decided enough is enough and leaves her girlfriend, taking with her only her dog Dudley, her broken spirit, and a shattered view of life.
At her lowest point, she meets Amy Fletcher, a woman who has it all–and whom she believes would never want more than friendship.
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Claire, fairy godmother level one plus, is one of the best operatives at the Fairy Godmother Council, but god-mothering in the twenty-first century isn’t all it used to be. The magic’s drying up; the girls are spoiled brats, and guardian angels poach the council’s best clients whenever they can.
When her boss assigns her a VIP case, Claire assumes it’s more of the same. But Frankie, her client, seems to be the deserving underdog of the olden days. And Tamiel, the guardian angel who pops onto the scene, swears she’s there to protect Frankie, not to steal her. It doesn’t hurt she’s smokin’ hot.
As the case starts to unravel, Claire is forced to examine her own prejudices and desires. Is she heading for certain ruin, or will she grab her happily ever after in this lesbian urban fantasy?
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ISBN: 978-3-95533-703-2 (mobi), 978-3-95533-704-9 (epub)
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Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record, everything changes…and not always for the best.
When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the ‘other’ woman, nevermind Abi’s own baggage. And even when those r
easons crumble it seems luck just isn’t on her side.
It’s a learning curve for both of them. But what if money really can’t buy you everything you want? What if the answers aren’t hidden in a big, fat bank balance? What if happiness is right in front of them? They just have to reach out…
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ISBN: 978-3-95533-500-7 (mobi), 978-3-95533-501-4 (epub)
Length: 55,000 words (204 pages)
It’s close to Christmas in Amsterdam, and Cara Jong isn’t having the best of days. Her girlfriend has left her, and her new job isn’t nearly as glamorous as she hoped it would be. A run-in with Jude Donovan, who’s playing Santa Claus in a department store, does little to lift her spirits, even though there’s clearly an appealing woman hidden beneath Santa’s beard.
When Cara finds out that Jude is actually a well-known author of children’s books, she’s intrigued and decides to attend Jude’s reading. A bizarre misunderstanding breaks the ice between them, and they share a heated kiss that same night.
As the weeks go by, they begin to fall in love and hope to leave past experiences behind. But Cara doesn’t trust her luck in love and soon breaks things off, leaving Jude baffled and broken-hearted.
Can Cara’s meddling sisters and a hilarious road trip convince Cara to go after her happily-ever-after with the writer?
Coming from Ylva Publishing
www.ylva-publishing.com
Who’d Have Tought
G Benson
Top neurosurgeon Samantha Thomson needs to get married fast and is tightlipped as to why. And with over $200,000 on offer to tie the knot, no questions asked, cash-strapped ER nurse Hayden Pérez isn’t about to demand answers.
The deal is only for a year of marriage, but Hayden’s going into it knowing it will be a nightmare. Sam is complicated, rude, kind of cold, and someone Hayden barely tolerates at work, let alone wants to marry. The hardest part is that Hayden has to convince everyone around them that they’re madly in love and that racing down the aisle together is all they’ve ever wanted. What could possibly go wrong?