“You can help me work on my sermon,” he said with a smile. “That was my plan for tonight.”
“On a Saturday night? All work and no play, Andrew?”
“The person I want to play with keeps telling me she’s busy,” he said pointedly.
“Then I can’t imagine why you keep asking.”
“I have nothing but faith. She’s so beautiful and amazing in so many ways that it’s impossible for me to walk away.”
She shook her head. “You knew just what to say to a girl when you were seventeen, and you still do.”
“I got better results back then,” he said dryly.
She smiled. “What do you say to ordering in some food? It’s late, but I’m starving. I was waiting for the baby to go to sleep.”
“I’m in. Whatever you want.”
“I was thinking Antonio’s. I love their spaghetti bolognese.”
“Get a couple of orders of garlic bread and salad,” he suggested. “I’m hungry, too.”
Before she could move, the baby began to squirm and cry, a distinct odor coming from his diaper. “I think someone needs a change.” She gave Andrew a mischievous look. “What do you think?”
“About what?” he asked warily.
“Diaper duty.”
His expression showed absolute horror. “I don’t know how to change a diaper.”
“It’s not hard, and it would be good training for you. You’re going to be a family man one of these days.”
“I’ll wait until one of those days,” he retorted.
“I thought you wanted to help me,” she teased.
“I have my limits.”
She laughed. “Finally. The guy I used to know is back again.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked in confusion.
“It’s been difficult correlating your new perfect, holy self with the kid I used to hang out with—the one who wasn’t always good and trying so hard all the time.”
“It’s part of my job to be an example.”
“I’m not part of your job,” she reminded him. “You don’t have to be the minister with me.”
“That’s exactly why I want to be with you,” he said seriously. “Everyone else puts me on a pedestal.”
Charlotte decided to get back to the subject at hand. “I’ll change the baby. You can order the food.”
“Now you’re talking,” he said. “Charlie, I can promise you this: if you marry me and have my kids, I’ll change diapers.”
His words took her to a place she didn’t want to go. “Promises, promises,” she said lightly as she headed down the hall.
Annie’s room was cold. Although the window had been boarded up, glass remained on the floor.
She laid the baby on the changing table on the opposite wall and quickly changed his diaper. She was getting better at the task and not so bothered by his squirming as she had been. She changed his onesie, too, and then picked him up. “Okay, little guy,” she said as he blinked his eyes at her. “You need to stay awake for a while, because I might need a chaperone.”
An hour later, they’d finished dinner and moved the crib out of Annie’s room and into Charlotte’s bedroom. Her room was up a few stairs, over the garage, and the windows couldn’t be reached from the street. She laid the baby down, watching as he settled into sleep.
Andrew leaned against the doorjamb, smiling. “You look very natural doing that,” he said.
“I’m getting a lot of practice.”
He moved into the room and sat down on her bed, making himself a little too comfortable for her taste. He tilted his head and patted the bed next to him. “Sit down, Charlie.”
She took a wary seat on the edge of the bed. “If my mother comes home and sees us in here together, she’ll be very unhappy.”
His gaze turned serious. “Charlotte, I want something serious with you. Something that could lead to marriage.”
She drew in a breath at his blunt words. “We haven’t even gone on a date in more than ten years.”
“Because you keep avoiding me. What are you so scared of? Do you really think I’ll hurt you again?”
“Maybe. I don’t know if it’s wise or even possible to rekindle a flame that burned out a long time ago.”
“Lauren and Shane did,” he pointed out.
“They’re the exception. Most people grow up and apart.”
“We have a lot in common. We want the same things.”
She picked at the edge of the bedspread. “I’m not sure that we do.” She glanced up at him. “I’m not sure I want children.”
His jaw dropped in surprise. “Really? But you’re so good with Annie’s baby. And you love kids.”
“I can love kids and still not want to be a parent. That would be a deal breaker for you, wouldn’t it?”
He didn’t answer right away. “I don’t know. I’d have to think about it. I’ve always wanted a family. A kid to throw a ball with. A little girl who looks like you. How could that be bad?”
His words pierced a deep pain, and her eyes welled up.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his gaze searching hers. “You can tell me, Charlie. I’ve seen something in your eyes before, but you always try to hide it. I hurt you when I cheated on you in high school, but I hope you know now that you can trust me.”
“I—I can’t . . .” She shook her head, biting down on her lip as words that should never be spoken swelled to the surface.
“You can’t trust me?”
“I can’t talk to you,” she said tightly.
“Something is eating you up inside. What is it?”
She stared at him for a long moment. Maybe she should tell him. It would forever change their relationship, but it was information that was long overdue. “I got pregnant in high school.” Her words came out in a rush.
Andrew blinked. “What are you talking about?”
“Just what I said.” She felt immediately lighter. She hadn’t realized how tired she’d been of carrying around that secret. “I got pregnant senior year of high school.”
His face paled. “No, you didn’t.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “Yes, I did.”
“I don’t understand. You didn’t look pregnant. I never heard anything about a baby. How could you hide it?”
“I lost the baby. I miscarried at three months.”
“Three months,” he echoed. “You were pregnant for three months? Why didn’t you tell me?” He jumped to his feet, anger emanating from him in waves. “How could you keep that a secret?”
“What would you have done? You were already with someone else.”
“I would have . . . I don’t know what I would have done, but you should have told me, Charlie. Did you hate me that much?”
He didn’t understand at all. “I loved you that much, Andrew. You broke my heart. I gave you my virginity, and two days later, you had sex with someone else. And not just that night, and not just with her. You made a point of showing me that I didn’t mean anything to you.”
“I couldn’t handle what I felt for you,” he said. “I had big dreams, Charlie. I was going to be a pro baseball player. I didn’t want to be tied down to someone. I didn’t want to change my plans.”
“Then you shouldn’t have had sex with me in the first place,” she said, still pained by the rejection after so many years.
“I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I acted like an ass.”
“Yes, you did.”
“But you should have told me you were pregnant,” he said with more fire in his voice. “How did that even happen? We used a condom.”
“Maybe it didn’t work. Or maybe . . . you weren’t the father.” She’d never said those words out loud before, not even to herself.
Shock spread across his face. “There was someone else?”
“Do you think I should have stayed faithful to you, after what you did to me?”
“Who was it? When did it happen?”
“It was a
t the beach party. You and Pamela stripped down naked and ran into the ocean. Remember that?”
He didn’t have to answer. She could see it on his face.
“I was drunk and feeling sorry for myself and I just wanted to leave,” she continued. “I went through the woods toward the parking lot to see if I could find a ride home. Someone was there.” She took a quick breath. “Things happened.”
Andrew sank down on the bed. “What are you saying? Were you assaulted? Did you just have sex with whoever was there? What?”
“He told me the best way to get back at you was to show you that I didn’t need you—that I didn’t care what you were doing. In my drunken, depressed state, it sounded like a good plan. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. And then . . .” Her voice faltered. “The whole thing took about three minutes. I was so ashamed of what I’d let happen. And I was angry, too. There were so many emotions going through my head. Shane found me crying, and he took me home. I made him promise not to tell anyone, and I never said a word, either. Not until now.”
Andrew stared at her with angry eyes. “Who was it? Who was the other guy?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t.”
“It doesn’t,” she snapped back. “It was a long time ago. You wanted to know my secret—there it is. That’s all I’m willing to say.”
He got up again, pacing around the room as if desperate to find a way to burn off the adrenaline racing through him. Finally, he stopped. “Okay. You’re right. It all happened more than a decade ago. We made mistakes, but we learned from them. I’m glad you told me. Maybe now we can finally move on.” He paused, giving her another questioning look. “But I don’t understand why you don’t want kids in the future.”
“Because losing that baby was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, Andrew. I don’t think I could live with that pain again. And as a doctor, I know there’s no way to prevent it. Sometimes it just happens. Maybe God has a hand in it.”
He shook his head, compassion filling his eyes. “No, Charlie. God wasn’t punishing you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do,” he said with quiet conviction. He sat back down on the bed and put his hands on her shoulders. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I didn’t go to the doctor, Andrew. I didn’t tell my mother until a couple of months went by, and then she wanted to wait even longer. My dad never even knew.”
“So the only people who know about this are you, your mother, and me?”
Andrew would hate knowing that she’d told Joe about her pregnancy before him. “A few other people know.”
“The other guy?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I really wish that you’d told me about it. I could have helped you get through it. I don’t think I was that much of a bastard.”
“I’m not convinced you would have helped me, Andrew. We weren’t even talking by the time I missed my period. And like you said, you had big dreams that didn’t include me. If I’d told you I was pregnant, you would have flipped out. The man you are now is not the guy you were then.”
“I’m very aware of that,” he said. “And you might be right; I might have let you down. I wasn’t thinking straight back then.”
“When did you start thinking straight?” she asked curiously. “There’s a big gap between us at seventeen and us today. There’s been a lot of years in between.”
“Those years don’t matter.”
She shook her head. “That’s like saying a big part of your life doesn’t matter. I don’t even know why you decided to become a minister, Andrew.” She paused as she heard a car pull into the driveway. “My mother is home. We can’t talk about this in front of her.”
“She must have thought I was the father. I don’t understand why she’s never . . .”
“Treated you badly?” she finished. “I’ve wondered that myself. Maybe she disliked you at the time, but since you came back as the minister, you seem to have a halo over your head. There’s nothing she would like more than to see me marry a minister and live the life she led.”
“There’s nothing I’d like more, either,” he said. “And now that we’ve cleared the air and you’ve let me back into your life, I’m not going anywhere. I screwed up with you before. I want a second chance. Will you give me that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then I’ll just keep asking until you do know.”
FOURTEEN
Nick went for a run early Sunday morning. The beautiful, sunny day didn’t fit his restless mood. He’d spent most of the night thinking about Isabella, remembering how incredible she’d felt in his arms, and wondering what the hell he was going to do now. She might be the right woman, but it was the wrong time.
Rebuilding his relationship with Megan was his first priority. He didn’t have many years left before she grew up and moved on in her life. He’d lost so much time already; he couldn’t lose any more.
But Megan wasn’t as eager to spend time with him. She’d spent the evening with her cousins, coming home as late as possible. Then she’d gone straight to bed. He didn’t know if she was just embarrassed at being caught making out yesterday or angry at the way he’d responded.
He should have handled it better, but seeing her with that punk had sent his blood pressure skyrocketing. He’d had to fight not to take a swing at that smirking, cocky face. He had to get a grip. Megan was going to have boyfriends, and he had to figure out how to deal with them.
When he reached the empty summit, he stopped to catch his breath, feeling disappointed. He’d had the crazy thought that Isabella might be there again. They’d ended up so many times at the same place at the same time.
He stretched his legs as he thought about her. She’d shaken him up on a lot of levels. He didn’t know if he could buy into visions, yet she’d shoved him out from under a falling light that could have severely injured him. If nothing else, she had incredible instincts.
But what about the idea that he was in some sort of danger? He didn’t know of any enemies. He didn’t think he’d even pissed anyone off lately, except his daughter.
It was odd, though, that the dreams had started after Isabella had received a necklace that his grandfather gave her ancestor. And his grandfather had tried to warn him away from her. Maybe the dreams had more to do with his grandfather than with him, with whatever trouble had split Harrison and Leticia up fifty years ago.
Or maybe Isabella’s visions were another reason he should stay away from her. He’d grown up with people who thrived on drama. He’d married an actress and paid a heavy price for not being able to tell when she was sincere or when she was acting. Now he was getting involved with an imaginative costume designer who enjoyed working in the fantasy world that he’d rejected. And she claimed she was psychic.
She didn’t need her head examined; he did.
Isabella might be beautiful and interesting, with a smile that made his gut clench every time she turned it on him, but she was also trouble. Yet as he thought about never seeing her again, it was almost unimaginable. Even now, he was missing her. How could that be? She’d only been in his life a short time, but it felt as if she’d always been there.
And she felt it, too. The only thing that made him feel marginally better was that she was worried about falling for him as much as he was about falling for her. Isabella had been rejected before by people she cared about. She’d also lost someone she loved. There was a vulnerability in her that made him want to put his arms around her and tell her that she didn’t have to keep running, that she didn’t have to keep pretending that nothing bothered her.
She’d said he had guard walls, but so did she. Hers were just masked by smiles and laughter. But, like him, she kept people at a distance, even though they didn’t realize it.
With a sigh, he headed back down the trail, making quick time getting home. When he entered the kitchen, Megan was sitting at the table eating c
ereal and reading a magazine, earphones in her ears.
He motioned for her to remove them, which she did with a reluctant frown.
“What?” she asked impatiently.
His daughter was very good at going on the offensive, but he was getting used to it. “I’m glad you’re up. The sand-castle contest starts in an hour.”
Dismay ran across her face. “I thought you were joking about that.”
“Not a chance. I’m very good at building things. We have a good shot at winning.” He lifted the canvas bag he’d picked up from his parents earlier and pulled out a red shovel and a matching pail. “I have supplies.”
“For a five-year-old, maybe,” she said with disdain.
“They’ll work.”
“I can’t do it. I have other plans.”
“Yeah? What?”
“Hanging with my friends.”
“Like the friend on the motorcycle? Was that Will Harlan?”
She flushed a little at the reminder. “He’s nice, and he likes me. I don’t know why you had to be such a jerk yesterday.”
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just . . . talking.”
“You weren’t exactly talking.”
She flushed angrily. “What’s it to you?”
“I’m your father.” He saw her roll her eyes, but he wasn’t backing down. “We should maybe discuss . . . stuff.”
“You mean sex?” she asked bluntly.
“Have you had sex?” he asked, appalled at the thought.
“No—not exactly.” Despite her bold conversation, her cheeks turned red. “I’m not going to talk about this with you.”
He wondered what not exactly meant, but he didn’t have the guts to ask. “You should speak to someone. You need to be safe.”
“I know how to be safe. I’m not stupid.” She got up from the table, took her bowl to the sink, and dumped it out. Then she turned to him, hands on her hips, stubborn determination in her eyes. “Stop trying to be my father. It’s too late.”
“I’m not trying to be your father. I am your father,” he said forcefully. “I am going to ask you questions and expect answers. And I will do everything I can to protect you and keep you out of trouble. I want you to have a good life. Late or not, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He saw the doubt in her eyes. “You have to believe that, Megan. I didn’t give you reason to trust me in the past, but I mean what I say. You’re my first priority.”
At Hidden Falls (Angel's Bay Novel) Page 21