Merger

by Miles, Heather

  When our fathers left, I put on a fake smile and made sure that Mr. Blakely knew I was his man in this merger and that I wouldn’t let him down, but the only person I wanted to know that I was her man was K.K. My anger was now starting to bubble up and I had little power to quell it. I was never one to yell, and I didn’t rant and rave. I was always so methodical and made sure I knew what the next move was or what I’d say in any given situation.

  I sat on the barstool contemplating my next move when she sat down next to me, trying to offer up some cute response. I was downright pissed at this point and excused myself to the restroom. For what I didn’t know, because I didn’t have to go to bathroom. For once maybe it was me that needed the space to brood. I leaned over the vanity with both hands looking into the bathroom sink aimlessly trying to decide what to do, when I just wanted to go out there and pull her into my arms and kiss her. I was so fucked.

  I walked out with the intention of fixing this whole mess, when I see my brother with his arm around K.K., kissing her head. What the hell? I knew it was nothing because Jake was my brother and he knew how much K.K. meant to me. It just made me mad that she was so easily affectionate with him, but had been so cold to me.

  When she asked me to talk, I knew I was being an asshole, but I just couldn’t be any other way at that moment. I was mad and I needed an explanation. What I got was a slap in the face. When she asked me if I had a girlfriend, I almost choked on my wine. All I could think was how little she thought of me. Had someone hurt her before with a similar situation? I tried to rationalize where her head was, when she started in with us not know each other and rolling on blow by blow to my gut with things that she liked about me and then reasons to not like those things. Now I was the one overwhelmed. How could I pull her back to me? Where did I go from here?

  I needed to kiss her. Comfort her. Assure her that we could work this out. Let her know that while this was new, it was new for both of us. The fun would be in the discovery. I wanted to discover all of it with her. I had to make her see.

  When she walked to the restroom, it only took me seconds to know that I wanted to be the first thing she saw when she opened that door. I almost ran to the door and fidgeted until she came out.

  I begged her to kiss me, but she maintained her distance with me. I knew she felt the same way about me as I did her, but I wouldn’t beg. I’d give her the distance she needed and hope that she would find her way back to me.

  We walked to the bar and joined the others, both of us distant with each other and now with my brother and Beth. It all felt awkward. I didn’t want to play at friendship when I wanted so much more.

  “I think I’m going to call it a night,” I said to the gang. “Tomorrow’s a big day.”

  I looked at K.K. and she stood looking stunned. My leaving was clearly putting her in a quandary. Was she staying with me? Going with Beth, or to her Dad’s (I doubted)? I didn’t push her, but merely asked if she wanted to share a cab with me. When she replied no, that she’d stay, I turned and walked out the door. I patted my brother on the back, reminding him to make sure and get the tab. He reached up and hugged me. I could clearly see that he’d made some connection with Beth and hoped that he’d fair better than I had. This night officially sucked. It felt oddly strange, but I’d imagine this is what it was like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on, and it sucked.

  I exited the bar decided to walk the couple of blocks instead of taking a cab. I was halfway down the block when I heard her yell my name.

  “Josh!” I turned back to see her standing outside the door of Stella’s. She was looking at me, I was looking at her, but neither of us moving or advancing the other. I knew I wanted to walk back to her, but I didn’t move. I felt like an asshole just standing there with my hands in my pockets. Then she moved up the street towards me. “Wait for me. I want to walk home with you.”

  I knew that I should go back to meet her at some midpoint on the street, but I didn’t. I wanted to her walk the entire distance alone. Like it was some form of punishment for hurting me. It was an asshole move and I knew it, but just stood there and waited until she reached me.

  When she finally was within steps, I said, “Sure.” I turned around and we fell into step, her meeting my stride as we walked quietly for several steps before I spoke.

  “I thought you’d hang out a little longer. Is Beth cool staying with Jake?” I asked.

  “I think Beth is more than cool with Jake. They seemed to really hit it off. I know I don’t have to tell you, your brother’s quite the charmer. I think she’s rather smitten with Jake.” She continued. “I think they were going to go out to a club and I just wasn’t up to it. You don’t mind if I stay with you, do you?”

  “No, I’m happy to let you stay.”

  “Thanks, Josh. I appreciate it. I know you’re upset with me. I’m so sorry.”

  I wanted to reach out and grab her and pull her to me, but I knew it wasn’t what she wanted. She was pulling away and I needed to give her the space to do it, even if it hurt. I’d put on a show of friendship, so that it didn’t ruin our business relationship, but I wanted more. I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a quick squeeze. “It’s okay,” I said. “Don’t apologize anymore.”

  We walked into the building, Marcus waving as we made our way to the elevator. We got in and it started to rise. I didn’t know where to look, so I just looked forward. I could feel the heat from her body as she moved closer to me, then put her hand in mine.

  I held her hand until the doors of the elevator opened and we walked inside the apartment. I dropped the keys on the counter.

  “Want anything?” I asked, looking at K.K. for any response. I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t quite know what to say or what to do with myself.

  She stared at me like she wanted to say something, but replied simply, “No thanks.”

  “I’m going to change and then get a pillow and blanket. You sleep in the bed.” I walked toward the stairs and left her standing in the middle of the living room. Fuckity-fuck-fuck!

  I was standing at the vanity brushing my teeth when she came in. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing one of my shirts. She looked amazing. My gaze didn’t waver as she moved about me.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I borrowed one of your shirts,” she said casually. I stopped brushing my teeth, and answered with a mouth full of foamy toothpaste. I shook my head from side to side.

  “No, it looks good on you.” She smiled at me and it felt like the air had suddenly gotten thinner. I spit the toothpaste in the sink and smiled back at her. I walked around her leaving the bathroom and grabbed a pillow from the bed. I knew there was a throw blanket on the couch, so I didn’t need to take any of the covers from the bed. I walked downstairs and sat on the couch, too anxious for sleep. At this rate, I’d be lucky if I slept at all, knowing she was just up the stairs. I walked over to the bar and poured myself a glass of scotch, neat.

  She came down and sat next to me. “May I have a sip?” she asked.

  “You like scotch?”

  “I don’t know that I’ve ever had scotch actually. Is there anything in it, like a mixer, or is it just liquor?” she asked.

  “Just liquor.” I handed her the glass and she took a sip. She jerked up, spilling some while grabbing at her throat, then spit the brown liquid back into my glass.

  “Oh my god,” she said, handing me back the glass. She leaped up and ran for the water faucet, throwing her head under the flow of water and allowing the water to run into her mouth. She turned around to see me laughing on the couch.

  “Not funny, Josh. That shit burned the hell out of my throat.” I continued to laugh and she came barreling across the room and jumped on me, pinning me to the couch and tickling my sides. I put the glass on the coffee table and continued to laugh. I tried to pull away from her hands, but she had me trapped between her legs.

  “You knew that was going to be awful and you let me drink it
anyway. How do you drink that?” she asked.

  “I won’t be now, after you spit in it.” I looked up at her. My shirt was gaping open and the supple roundness of her right breast was peeking out. She stayed straddling me and I couldn’t help but put my hands on her thighs. “You’re so beautiful K.K.” I said.

  “Thanks,” she replied, pulling one leg down to the floor and trying to get up, realizing that she’d instigated something between us.

  “Please don’t go. I promise to be a perfect gentleman. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just being touch-feely me. I’ll stop.”

  It was odd to be going in reverse with someone. K.K. had me baffled. I wasn’t accustomed to the chase with woman. Frankly, they were usually agreeable and needy—always willing to follow my lead and rarely aggressive enough to keep my interest. It was always a lame retreat when they’d try to get to personal with me. They could never hold my interest after the first three or four dates and while the sex was usually okay, I would grow tired of the lack of true intimacy and depth and always cut them loose.

  Then here I was sitting across from the most stimulating woman I’d ever met. We’d had the best sex of my life over and over the last couple of days. I could feel her body still under mine. I could still recall the sweet taste of her mouth on mine. And now I sat here looking at her as she un-straddled me to sit on the couch. I was at my wits end wondering how she could cut me so deeply and swiftly. I was ill prepared to wrap my head around it. It probably was the best thing, if I was honest with myself; she and I had a business to run. I just couldn’t free myself from believing there was more to us.

  She settled into the couch opposite from me, tucking her legs and feet under her hips. She pulled at her shirt in an attempt to cover up her legs. It kind of pissed me off and I wanted to slap at her hand and pull her long legs out over my lap, but I stared at her in disbelief.

  “It’s not as if I’m going to lunge on you, you can relax. Have we gone so far back from the last couple of days that we can’t be comfortable around each other?” I asked. My look was one of bewilderment and I felt like such an idiot.

  “I don’t know how to be, Josh. We’ve been so intimate with one another and I know that I’ve hurt your feelings tonight. Frankly, I’m a little ashamed. I’m usually better at maneuvering through things personally and professionally.” It was true, even if my words felt grovely. I hadn’t conquered the whole falling in love thing because I’d never experienced it before. I’d dated and had very meaningful relationships, but nothing like this. It was raw and powerful. “Maybe this is why I’m still single. I’m not all that good with the whole dating thing.”

  “First, be yourself. I don’t want you to feel like you ever have to put on an act with me. If you’re mad be mad, if you’re happy I want to know that too. Secondly, maybe you have hurt my pride a little bit, but I’m a big boy I’ll get over it. Thirdly, dating isn’t easy for anyone. It’s about discovery and how people fit together. Nobody is perfect at it. Maybe you should just let things happen instead of always trying to control everything.”

  “I try to control everything so that I can anticipate the outcome. I don’t know how to anticipate the outcome of you personally, but I’m pretty sure I can manage myself around you professionally. That’s why I pulled back. It wasn’t to hurt you or bruise your larger than life ego.” She grinned and I felt like I’d finally broken down some of her defenses. Her shoulders eased and her arms became more languid as we continued talking. Both of us were working at filling the unknown space between us with the knowledge of each other’s lives prior to three days ago, when she stumbled into me at the gym and everything changed. I hadn’t put much thought into anything but her since.

  She wanted to know more about me and me the same. We sat for hour’s just talking, closing the personal gap on the years of our lives. She knew my passion for fast cars and even shared the fact that she owned a Porsche 911 that her Dad bought her when she graduated with her masters. She didn’t drive much, but I liked knowing she had an awesome car in the basement. I talked to her about my house in Malibu and about wanting something in New York. I showed her some of the places that I’d seen and she gave her opinion of the city and where she thought I’d be happiest. I knew I’d be happiest at her place when I was in New York, but I didn’t tell her that as we perused the specs for the places I’d seen. She hadn’t dated anyone in a long time and I got the impression that her last boyfriend was a real dick. It made me insanely mad that someone could hurt her or trample her feelings, but then I wondered if other women could say the same thing about me and I backed off talking too much about it. We both talked about our mothers dealing with cancer and what it meant to recover, or not, from that loss. I didn’t realize it was one o’clock in the morning until her third yawn. Her head dipped to the right and laid gently on the side of the couch.

  “I need to get you to bed missy. We have a big day tomorrow and I’ve already kept you up too long.” I started to stand up.

  “You kept me up?” she questioned. “I’ve been virtually talking your ass off.” She stretched her arms over her head with another yawn and I wanted to climb over the cushion that separated us and pull her into a warm embrace.

  “I’ve enjoyed it,” I said.

  “I think I’ll turn in then. Are you sure that you’re okay with sleeping on the couch? I really am a guest here and I’m the one that should be on the couch.”

  “Say no more. I’ll be fine down here.” I replied.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Go K.K., before I follow you upstairs and ruin this new friendship were working at.” I said.

  “Can I kiss you Josh?”

  I sat there on the couch glued to my seat and fixated on her gaze upon me. The look of need welled in her eyes, and I didn’t know if I had enough control just to give her a friendly kiss. I tried to judge her reaction if I declined.

  “What if I said no?” I asked. She walked around the couch and stood over me. Her sex was dead center to my face and the fullness of her breast above me. I was paralyzed by her and pissed that she was toying with me…again.

  “You asked me to kiss you in the bar and I declined because of what I thought you’d find in that kiss. I think I’m not so afraid of that now.” She dropped down to her knees and moved between my legs. I felt my stomach clinch, my cock started thickening and my heart was about to fly from my chest. This would have to be on her terms and I waited patiently for her next move. She laid her head on my stomach and I was scared now to touch her for fear that she’d vanish, like she was never there to begin with. The smell of her played on my senses and the heat from her body was turning me on. Unable to hide the body part that now hardened under the softness of her stomach, I stayed still waiting for her to claim what I already knew was hers.

  She moved her hands across my chest and up around the back of my neck. I left my arms to my side, painfully, as she moved up my body. She nipped at my bottom lip, her eyes looking fully into mine. Her eyes were languid and limp with the exhaustion from the day, but full of desire. She was more beautiful in this moment than any previous. I could feel my heart gallop as she licked at my mouth begging it to open and let her in. I complied and let her lead us into a passionate and knowing kiss. It was slow and gentle and wrapped up with so much feeling, I thought my heart was going to burst from my chest. I felt her tongue gliding with mine in rhythm and slowly brought my hands up to her face pulling her and her kiss fully into me. She moaned into my mouth and my kiss grew hungrier. We continued like this for what seemed like an eternity, her kissing me and me passionately taking all she was giving. She pulled back and placed her head on my chest. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging her breast against me, the feel of her erect nipples gliding against me and driving me insane.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you earlier tonight,” she murmured. “I promise to tread lightly with your heart.” And with that, she pulled her body from mine and walked up the stairs. I
could taste her on my mouth, still feel her weight and warmth against my body. I sat there in utter shock and hard against my pajama bottoms. What the fuck just happened? I grabbed the Scotch and suddenly didn’t care that she’d spit back into it, and threw it back in one gulp. This was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 17

  Kasey

  It was one thirty in the morning, when I turned to look at the clock for the tenth time. I tossed and turned thinking of Josh downstairs. My body ached with desire, my sex pulsing, and I gripped my thighs tighter to quell that need. I reached down between my legs, feeling over my saturated panties and left my hand gripped against my mound, willing it to stop yearning. I rolled over on my stomach, rumpled my pillow into tight submission and lied there thinking about what in the world I was doing here if he was down there.

  “Ugh” I said softly, when I heard Josh at the door.

  “I can’t sleep,” he said and walked through the door, not quite making it to the bed before stopping. I rolled over to see him shirtless and standing barefoot in only his pajama bottoms, the ‘V’ of his hips dipping into his pants. The sight caused me to lick my lips and I hoped he didn’t just see me drooling over him.

  “What the hell was that down there?” He stood in front of me with his arms over his chest in frustration, waiting for an answer. “I can’t make this whole thing out K.K. One minute we’re lovers, the next we’re supposed to be friends. I’m spinning in circles here. What do you want? You can’t kiss me like that and ask me to be your friend. I never wanted to be your friend in the first place. I made it clear to you when you came home from L.A. that I wanted to be with you. I will give you what you want, but you can’t keep giving me mixed signals. My heart and mind can’t take it.”

  “Okay,” I said rolling up to a sitting position. The sheets were a tangled mess around my legs, my shirt twisted up revealing my stomach. I sensed that he knew I’d been wrestling around the bed for some time now.