by Misty Malone
She looked at him with big round eyes. “I’ve been accused of being a diva, of thinking I’m all that and then some, but no one’s ever said I had low self-esteem.”
He smiled and nodded his head. “I’ve seen that a bit, too, but I think that’s an act, meant to cover the low self-esteem.” She was quiet and once again, he knew she was thinking. “We can talk more about that later, but right now just remember, don’t put yourself down, because I won’t allow it.”
She nodded, then quickly answered out loud. “Okay.”
He grinned. “The spanking’s over, but I appreciate the verbal response.”
She looked up at him, a bit of a sad expression on her face. “It’s all over?”
Thinking quickly as to why the sad expression, he answered. “Yep, it’s all over except the comforting part. That’s where I hold you in my arms until you feel safe and secure, and know you’re a special young lady who made a mistake, but has now paid the price, and all is well again.” He cautiously added, “That part might take a while, especially the first couple times.” When she didn’t object or pull back, he pressed his luck a bit further. “I hope you feel safe in my arms so you’ll ask any questions you may have.”
“Questions?”
“Yes. I know this is new to you, this idea of being held accountable by me because I care about you, so I know you’ve got to have at least a couple questions. Hopefully you feel safe enough to ask me anything your pretty little head is wondering about.”
She leaned against his shoulder, still holding onto his shirt, and realized she did feel safe. Why was that? She looked up at him and put him to the test. “Anything?”
“Anything.”
“Okay. You’re right, I do feel safe here. Why is that?”
He smiled. This little lady was indeed thinking. Again, he was proud of her. “Well, hopefully it’s because you can tell I’m sincere when I say I care about you and plan on keeping you safe. If I see you do something that’s not safe, I’ll stop you. If I see someone try to do something dangerous to you, I’ll stop them. If you feel bad because of something you’ve done, a spanking helps a great deal in ridding yourself of guilt, which can be a terrible thing to carry around with you. Hopefully, it also helps you feel safe knowing that if you need someone to talk to about anything at all, your feelings, or what you may want to do with your life, I’m here, and I’ll help all I can.”
He gave her a minute to absorb what he’d said, then told her one more thing. “Right now I think you feel better because, like I said, a spanking rids you of guilt you may be carrying around. I don’t think you felt good about the way you took your anger out on other people. Now you’ve paid the consequences for that, and you feel better.”
She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Before long, though, she snuggled into his arms a little further. “Ty?”
“Yes?”
“I’m starting to think you may be one smart cowboy.”
He chuckled and gave her a little hug. “Thank you, Cheyenne.” He couldn’t resist leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
They talked for another twenty minutes with her sitting on his lap. She asked a few more questions, all of which he answered the best he could. He waited until she hadn’t asked any for several minutes. “As much as I like this, are you about ready to go back in the house, or do you have more questions?” She paused momentarily, and he tried to encourage her. “Go ahead, darlin’, ask whatever’s on your mind.”
She looked up at him and sighed. “See, that’s my question.”
He looked totally confused. “What is?”
“How do you know so much? I mean, how did you know I have another question I’ve been trying to find an answer to? How did you know I was being mean to people because I was hurt?”
“Was I right?”
“I want to think about it some, but yeah, I think so. How did you know that and I didn’t?”
“Maybe the same way I knew you have another question you should ask. Honey, I’ve felt somehow drawn to you. I’ve been watching you, paying attention to what you say and do. I think you’re kind of lost right now, feeling like you’ve been sort of plunked here on the ranch without much say in it. I think I can help you find your way, if you’ll let me. In the same way, I’ve been watching your expression while we’ve been talking, and I’ve seen a question hidden in the back of your mind. I sure wish you’d ask it so we can talk about it. I may not know the answer, but we may be able to figure it out together. But we’ll never know if you don’t ask.”
She studied him a few moments before sighing. “Okay, but don’t laugh at me.”
He tightened his arms around her a bit. “I won’t laugh at you, Cheyenne. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask this question. I know it’s important to you.”
“Once again, you knew. Yes, it is important. I can’t figure out why—it’s just that even after the first time you—I mean, I should—why can’t I—”
“Cheyenne, honey, just ask me.”
“Why can’t I hate you like I think I want to?”
It was all Ty could do not to smile, but he knew she was serious and confused. He didn’t want her to think he was laughing at her. He held her close while they talked. “Like you think you want to?”
“Yeah. I mean, I feel like I should hate you. That hurt! A lot! Twice now! And it was embarrassing! So I should hate you, shouldn’t I?”
“But you don’t?”
“I can’t,” she admitted. “I tried.”
Glad to hear she couldn’t, he tried to satisfy her curiosity. “Maybe it’s because you know I have your best interests in mind and I would never hurt you.”
“Says the man who just set my butt on fire.”
“For your own good,” he reminded. “I would never do anything to cause any real harm to you, Cheyenne. I’m trying to make sure you don’t, either. I hope you can somehow sense that you’re safe with me. I honestly just want to help you.”
“Why?”
“For selfish reasons. I see a wonderful, special lady hiding behind an angry front. If I can help bring that special lady out, I’m sure she’ll be happier. If she’s happier, maybe she’ll give this stupid cowboy a chance at having a relationship with that special lady.”
Cheyenne couldn’t have stopped the smile on her face if she’d wanted to. “Yeah, I think maybe I have to rethink my rule. It seems there is at least one smart cowboy.”
“So, would you agree to have dinner with this one smart cowboy?”
Her eyes were full of mischief as she said, “I just said it seems there is at least one smart cowboy. I never said it was you.”
He shook his head, chuckling. “Brat.” He enjoyed her smile, but didn’t give up. “Cheyenne, I was serious about dinner. Will you have dinner with me sometime?”
She grinned again. “We have dinner together every evening, but I was told it’s called supper on a ranch.”
“It is,” he said, returning her grin. “It’s supper when we’re eating on the ranch, with your brother and father if he’s here. That’s why I asked if you’d have dinner with me. That’s the evening meal, not at the ranch, and just the two of us, so we can get to know each other better.”
She got a bit more serious, but thought a few moments before answering. “I think I’d like that, Ty, as long as I don’t end up with a sore butt again. I really don’t think you know your own strength.”
He chuckled once again, but disagreed. “Oh, I think I have a fair idea of my strength. I know I certainly wasn’t using it all tonight, just so you know,” he warned. “And as long as you behave yourself you won’t ever have to worry about a sore butt again.” He kissed the top of her head again, and gave her another hug. “We better get back in the house. Clay and Lynelle are going to start worrying about us.”
Chapter Six
Clay and Lynelle smiled when Ty and Cheyenne returned to the living room, hand in hand. Once they sat down, the two girls looked at each othe
r and both started talking at the same time. All four of them laughed, as Clay held up his hand. “Whoa, ladies, one at a time. Cheyenne, I think Lynelle has something she’d like to say.”
“Okay, but I have something I’d like to say to both of you first.” Without giving either Clay or Lynelle time to say anything, she plunged in. “I want to tell both of you I’m sorry. I’ve been angry and I took it out on you guys, and that was wrong. You’re both really special to me, and I feel bad about how I treated you guys.”
Clay got up and went to his sister and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Cheyenne. I forgive you. It’s really good to see you smiling again, and I mean that.”
Lynelle quickly said, “Cheyenne, what I wanted to say to you is that I’m sorry, too. I treated you horribly, and I’m sorry. Once I lose my temper I say things I don’t really mean. Can you forgive me?”
Cheyenne left Clay to go to Lynelle, who was standing now, as well. The girls embraced, and both started crying, apologizing to each other. Ty and Clay looked at the girls, then looked at each other and smiled. Clay leaned over to Ty and whispered, “Seems they’re both seeing things differently.”
Ty nodded. “And look how much happier they are.”
The four of them spent the next hour visiting. The girls went to the kitchen to get some wine, and compared notes from their spankings. Lynelle was glad that Cheyenne understood the whole spanking concept now, and they both said they were glad they knew they had someone they could talk to about it in the future who would understand.
***
Meals on the ranch were more enjoyable from that night on. Cheyenne was no longer angry and ignoring the men, but joined in the conversation. All three of them were happy with the difference. Friday during lunch Clay turned to his sister. “Cheyenne, I won’t be eating supper here tomorrow night. Lynelle’s still upset that she told her cousin she’d watch her kids for her, so I’m going to take a pizza over. The kids will probably like that, and I’ll stay there with her then until her cousin gets home.”
After lunch was over, Ty waited until Clay went back outside then approached Cheyenne. “I know this is short notice, but would you like to have dinner in town tomorrow night?”
“I think that sounds good.”
“We can go try out the new place if you want, or we can go someplace a little quieter for our first date.”
“Someplace quieter sounds nice to me.”
“Me, too. I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Not much for dancing?” she teased.
“No, I actually like to dance, and I’d be happy to go some other time. I’d just prefer to be able to get to know you a bit better without having to yell to do it.”
“Me, too. Anyplace quieter is fine with me. Just let me know how I should dress.”
“I will. Thanks for going along with the short notice. See you at supper.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead before putting his hat on and going back out.
She watched him as he headed back out to the barn. He sure did look good in his snug fitting jeans and cowboy hat.
For most of the afternoon she thought about their upcoming date. She had been convinced that cowboys were basically all stupid and she’d never be interested in one. However, not only did this cowboy seem to be really smart, but he’d been saying and doing some really thoughtful things. She was being honest with him when she told him she felt like she ought to hate him, but she couldn’t. In fact, the more she’d been around him since then, the more she found herself being pulled toward him.
As usual, Ty showered and changed before he came in for supper that evening. When Clay came in, Cheyenne finished up the meal and started putting it out on the table. Generally, Ty came into the kitchen about the same time Clay was back downstairs from taking his shower, and they ate. She prided herself on her timing, and once again, she was placing the last of the meal on the table as Ty came in the back kitchen door.
After supper, Ty helped Cheyenne with the dishes and clean up, which surprised her, and she told him as much. He laughed and teased her a little. “Even a stupid cowboy can clean a kitchen.”
“I know,” she said as her face turned red, “but I didn’t expect a smart cowboy who’s worked hard all day to do this for me.”
“Again, it’s partially because I’m being selfish. I want you to come sit with me out on the back patio a bit after your work’s done.” He looked around at the clean kitchen. “And since it appears you’re done here, can we enjoy the evening breeze out back, and talk a bit?”
“Sure. That sounds nice. What did you want to talk about?”
“Nothing, and everything.”
“Huh?”
He took her hand and led her outside. “Nothing in particular, but everything you want to talk about. Anything on your mind?”
She looked at him a moment before shaking her head. “No, not really.”
Reaching the patio, he led them to a swing, where they sat down. He was still holding her hand as he turned to face her. “Warning, little lady, I am very much against lies. They are beneath you, and people get hurt with lies.” His expression was stern, but at the same time, friendly. “So can we try that question again? Anything on your mind?”
She sighed and looked at him. “How do you know these things? Are you a mind reader? I mean, seriously, it’s kind of spooky.”
He was chuckling as he saw the sincerity in her words. “Darlin’, I’m just tuned into you. I notice things, like the fact that the last few days, ever since our trip to my house, you’ve seemed a bit distracted at times. Does whatever is on your mind have something to do with the spanking?” He was talking quietly to be sure no one else heard his question, which she appreciated.
“No, not really. I do have some questions in my mind, but it’s mostly involving my reaction to it. But no, that’s not what my mind keeps wandering back to. I keep thinking about what you said about finding something I want to do with my life. You said I’d be happier with a goal.”
“I think you will be happier once you have a goal. Once you realize what you want to do, you have to find out what you have to do to get there. Then you have a goal you’re working toward.”
“I believe you. I’ve been thinking about that, and once again, I think you’re right. But how do I figure out what I want to do?”
“Think about what you like to do for enjoyment. If you can make a career out of something you enjoying doing, you’ll enjoy your work. It won’t feel so much like work.”
“But what do I enjoy doing?”
He laughed a bit as he gave her a little hug. “I don’t know. Let’s try to figure that out. Think for a minute about what you do in your free time between meals.” She had a blank look on her face, so he tried to help a little more. “I’ve seen you doing one thing several times.”
“Shopping? I used to like to do that a lot, but I really haven’t been much into that lately.”
“I haven’t noticed you doing a lot of that, but you haven’t been here all that long, either. Do you normally do a lot of shopping?”
She shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Why? Because you enjoy shopping?”
She looked a bit embarrassed. “More so that I had the latest of everything. It kind of makes me sound pretty vain now that I think about it.”
He smiled at her warmly and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “It sounds more to me like someone who struggles with their self-esteem.”
“You said that before. I never thought of myself as having low self-esteem.”
“Cheyenne, please don’t get upset with me, but I’ve talked to your brother a little bit about you, and the changes he’s seen in you since you’ve come back to the ranch.”
“He’s seen changes since I’ve been back?”
“Yes, he has. But even more importantly, to me at least, is the differences he noticed in the way you used to act around your father as opposed to around your mother.”
She sat up straight, looking at hi
m. “Seriously? I acted differently around them? How?”
“According to your brother, if your father wasn’t around, you were a bit of a princess around your mother, and she sort of encouraged it. If your dad was around, though, if the princess attitude made an appearance, he put a stop to it.”
He watched as she thought. Finally, she shrugged. “You know; he could be right. Mom used to always say Dad just didn’t understand ladies and what we need. So I guess she encouraged me to act differently around Dad. Whether she meant to or not I don’t know, but looking back on it now that you said that, I did act differently.”
Ty was cautious with his next question. “Can I ask, what did she say ladies need that your dad didn’t understand?”
“The latest in fashion and makeup, and—” She paused a bit before continuing, “and regular manicures and pedicures to show off all your new sandals.” After a longer pause she looked over at Ty with sad eyes. “Look at how shallow I’d become, and I didn’t even realize it.”
“Honey, I’m not sure if it was shallow so much as you were following your mother’s example, like all girls do. Just because that’s important to her doesn’t mean it has to be important to you. The more I get to know you, the more I think that’s not as big a thing to you.”
“No, it really isn’t.”
“Getting away from her may have been a good thing for you, Cheyenne. Not because your mom’s not a good person, because I’m sure she is. After all, she brought you into the world,” he said, grinning. “But is it possible that your mother’s example isn’t really how you want to live your life? Could that have something to do with why you’re a bit confused, unsure about what you want to do career-wise? Maybe it took getting away from her to realize that, and you’re feeling a bit confused, caught between how you actually feel, and the way you’ve been brought up? I can see how such confusion could cause anger.”
As if whispering to herself, she quietly murmured, “I thought I was just mad because she walked out on me.”