Dangerous Confessions of the Heart (Dangerous Secrets of the Heart)

by Johnson, Michele

  “Did you find a tux to wear?” I asked ignoring him defending Jesse.

  “Yeah, I’m ready.” He said.

  I knew tomorrow was going to be hard. We were going to have to work together for me to not get seen.

  “I trust you to keep me safe and hidden tomorrow.” I said.

  “You can always trust me Jamie.” He admitted.

  I gave him a half smile. We decided to get a bite to eat at another one of my favorite places in town. But this whole town reminded me of Jesse. David and Mrs. White were sitting at a table a little ways down from where the hostess had seated us. Fortunately she didn’t see us as they left. When our food arrived I hurried and finished so we could leave. Austin did as he was asked and took me back to the hotel.

  Once there I climbed in the shower. I gradually pulled off my clothes, threw them on the floor and turned on the water. The hot, steaming water trailed down my body. I heard the door open.

  “Austin?” I asked.

  “Yeah...” He answered back.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Just using the bathroom…” He said.

  I peeked out. He was fully dressed leaning against the wall.

  “I thought you were using the bathroom?” I asked.

  “Umm…” he said.

  I laughed.

  “I’ll leave you alone to take your shower.” He said and began to turn around

  “Austin…wait...” I called out.

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  “Make love with me?” I said.

  “What?!” he asked hesitantly.

  “If tomorrow ends badly for us…I don’t want this to be our last memory.” I admitted. “I love you and always will.” I confessed.

  “And if it doesn’t…” he started. “You know…end badly?” He asked.

  “Then this will be one of our many nights together.” I said.

  He smiled and began to seductively take off his clothes. He pulled back the curtain and joined me in the steaming, sauna like shower. He slightly slid his hands around me and pulled me close as the water dripped between us. He gently and carefully pulled me up and held me against the wall. He began to slip his meat in me. I started to moan as he moved himself inside me.

  Meanwhile:

  At the house James and Sarah were sleeping apart. James was in my bed with Jesse.

  He leaned his head against the wall as he thought about me.

  “Jesse…” James began. “I’m sorry.” James admitted.

  “Do you enjoy seeing me in pain James?” Jesse asked sitting up and looking at James.

  “Of course not! You’re my brother.” James admitted.

  “Then why can’t you tell me where she is?” Jesse asked.

  “Because I don’t want to see you in pain…” James said.

  “You’ve killed her…haven’t you?” Jesse asked.

  “No, I couldn’t do that to you…” James said.

  “That is the only thing that would bring me more pain then not knowing.” Jesse admitted.

  “She’s moved on…” James confessed.

  “What…?” Jesse asked as his heart broke in two.

  “I told you I didn’t want to tell you…” James said.

  He leaned against the wall again.

  “I’m sorry.” James said.

  “Why…why would she do that?” Jesse asked. “I’ve been looking all over for her and the baby.”

  “Oh…” James said.

  “What?” Jesse asked.

  “Bill…made me dispose of the baby…” James confessed.

  “YOU KILLED MY BABY!” Jesse began to be furious. He jumped on James, wrapped his hands around his neck as they fell heavy to the ground with a large thud. “Some fucking brother you are!” he said as he began to strangle James.

  “Let…go…Jesse…Please.” James tried to speak.

  He continued to strangle him as my bedroom door swung open. Bill heard the commotion and came in. He grabbed Jesse off of James and held him tight against his chest facing James.

  “How could you do that to me, James…!?” He asked as tears began to fill his eyes.

  James lay on the ground in mostly silence as he coughed to catch his breath. Bill took Jesse aside while James left the room.

  “Get a grip son. He was only following orders.” Bill said.

  Jesse pulled away. “I hate you! I hate you both!” Jesse confessed. “I’ll find her on my own.” He said as he pushed past his father. He traveled down the stairs. As he reached the front door and opened it but he felt a pinch in his neck as he fell to the ground.

  James came out of his father’s room to see what was going on. Bill had shot Jesse with a tranquillizer gun.

  “Dad!?” James said. “Why did you do that?”

  “Why did you tell him you killed the baby?” Bill asked.

  James remained silent.

  “He’ll be fine. I’ve used those before on a lot of people. He’ll be awake in about an hour and he won’t remember this conversation at all.” Bill said with a chuckle.

  James followed Bill into the bedroom. “Dad...Why won’t you let Jesse be happy?”

  “Because, that boy has disrespect me, defied me, and took away every ounce of happiness I ever had.” Bill began. “He doesn’t deserve happiness. That is why I was so thrilled that you and Sarah decided to tell me that you were together…saves me another kill on my hand.”

  “You were going to kill Sarah?” James asked.

  “…If she was with Jesse.” Bill admitted.

  “Dad, I don’t understand…” James said.

  “Every wife I have had, he messes it up. Your mother, Elizabeth, Helen, everyone left me because of him.” He said. “And if I find out he saved Helen…he’d better watch out.”

  “Saved Helen? The police still haven’t found a body?” James asked.

  “No…” Bill said with hatred.

  “I shot her dad, I did.” James began to defend himself.

  “I know…” Bill said.

  Back at the hotel:

  We had finished with our time in the shower and had gotten dressed. I was lying on the bed and Austin was watching television. After I knew it I was asleep. I began to dream:

  I was dressed in my mother’s sky blue dress and swaying away. All I could see was darkness around me. I looked upon my partners face and seen Austin. He had a large smile on his face as Jesse and my song began to play. The speakers began to play Every Time We Touch (Candlelight Version) By Cascada. The room began to be light as the ocean began to reveal itself. I smelt the saltiness of the water as I began to hear the waves crashing upon the shore. Austin’s gentle touch guided me into the water as the dolphins surrounded us. I patted them as they began to shoot water in a circle around us. I looked up at him as he presented me with the dolphin ring and asked for my hand. I didn’t hesitate as he gave it me. He gently lifted my hand and placed the ring on the tip of my finger.

  “What are you doing?” I heard a familiar voice call to me.

  I looked out towards the open sea as I seen Jesse walking on water towards us his hand reaching toward me. I looked down at my dress and it had become a white wedding dress. I reached toward him and Austin pulled me back.

  “Don’t Jamie. I love you.” Austin yelled as he jerked me back. He picked me up and began to carry me away from Jesse. I screamed as he fell into the water and was engulfed by waves.

  “JESSE!!!” I screamed. “NO!”

  Chapter 13

  The darkness began to fall followed by light again. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling of the hotel. I sat up in the bed and began to think

  “What am I going to do?” I asked myself as I thought about today. “I’m in love with two guys.” Part of me was still second guessing this decision. “Was this really worth it? Did I really want to know if Jesse still loves me? What would I do if he doesn’t? Would Austin ever forgive me?” I had so many questions.

  I began to realize that Au
stin wasn’t here again this morning. I jumped up and began looking for him. I checked the bathroom. He wasn’t here. Something caught my eye on the floor. I walked over to my jeans that I had thrown off before my shower last night. Placed on top of the pants were E’s ring and the two letters from my pocket.

  “Oh no…” I said. I looked down again at the clothes and seen something else sparkling. I picked it up. It was the ring Austin had given to me. He had taken it off my finger and placed it under the notes. My heart began to ache as I thought about Austin’s pain when he found these. But I quickly brushed it off because I knew I had to go through with this today. I began to get ready for the wedding. It was already 12:17pm. The wedding was in three hours. I went to the sink and wiped my face with a wet wash cloth and soap. I brushed at my hair and put it into an elegant bun on the top of my head. I curled the small pieces of hair that was hanging near my ears. I slip on my mother’s now fixed dress that I had worn almost a year ago. I placed Austin and E’s rings on a chain and placed it around my neck. I put the two notes in a sky blue handbag that I picked up when buying the dress along with my phone, hotel key and wallet. I was ready to crash this wedding. I called a cab because I figured Austin had taken the car. I waited for what felt like forever until the cab driver called my phone announcing he was here. I entered the car and noticed the radio clock said 2:08pm. I had to get going and fast.

  “…The church on 39th, please…” I said to the driver.

  He began to drive us.

  “You look nice Jamie.” The cab driver said.

  I looked up. It was a guy from school, Conner.

  “Hello Conner.” I said to him.

  “How have you been?” He asked.

  “Great. You…?” I asked.

  “I’m fine. I have a wife and three kids now.” He said.

  “That’s cool.” I said.

  “Where are you going dressed so fancy?” He asked.

  “I’m going to crash a wedding.” I said.

  “Crash a wedding?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’m in love with the groom.” I admitted.

  “Wow, well good luck with that, we’re here.” He said.

  “Keep the car and meter running Conner; I might need a quick getaway.” I said.

  “…Will do…” He said.

  I climbed out of the car and seen a lot of unfamiliar faces. I stood behind a large group of people and followed in. A hand grabbed me and pulled me toward the stairs.

  “Hey!” I whispered hatefully.

  “Shhh.” Austin whispered back. “The groom’s room is upstairs. James and Bill just left and went into the sanctuary, now’s your chance.”

  “Thank you Austin.” I said whole heartedly.

  “…Anything for you…Now go...” He ordered.

  I rushed up the stairs quickly. Above me was the bride’s room. I swiftly crossed in front of it as the bridesmaids cooed over the bride. I found the grooms room and quickly entered unseen. I leaned against the door and took a deep breath.

  “Jamie?” a familiar voice asked in surprise.

  I looked over to see his handsome face. “Jesse!” I said in relief.

  “What are you doing here?” James said pretending to be Jesse.

  Meanwhile:

  Downstairs at the wedding, Austin waited impatiently at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Hello sir.” A voice came from behind him. “Can I help you find a seat?”

  “I’m okay, I’m waiting on my date.” He said facing the man.

  “Hello, I’m the father of the groom.” Bill said over the shoulder of Jesse.

  “Hi, I’m Austin…Umm, I’m friends with the groom.” He lied.

  “Oh really? How do you know the groom?” Jesse asked.

  “I need some punch.” Bill said and walked off.

  “Oh, Jesse and I go way back.” Austin lied again.

  Jesse looked at him with suspicion.

  “Come with me.” He said.

  “Oh, I really shouldn’t my date…” He started trying to make excuses.

  “It won’t be but a moment.” He said taking Austin to a private room where they could talk

  Back in the groom’s room I stared at what I thought was Jesse and began to answer why I was there:

  “I…I came to find out if she is what you really want?” I admitted.

  “Of course she is…don’t you think I would’ve found you by now if I wanted you?” He said.

  His words stung like fire in my chest.

  “I...I thought…you loved me?” I asked with tears beginning to fill my eyes.

  “Look…Thanks for coming Jamie, but you better go before Bill finds you.” He said.

  “I wouldn’t care if he did.” I admitted. “Killing me would be better than facing this…”

  “Jamie…What about Austin…?” He asked.

  I looked down at my neck and seen the dolphin engagement ring.

  “James told you about him?” I asked.

  Back in the room with Austin and Jesse:

  “Alright, start talking…” Jesse ordered.

  “A…About what…?” Austin tried to play it off.

  “How do you know Jesse?” He asked.

  “I...I told you…we go way back.” He lied.

  “I’m Jesse.” Jesse admitted.

  “What?” Austin said in surprise. “What are you talking about? Aren’t you supposed to be in the groom’s room getting ready for the wedding?”

  “I am ready.” Jesse said becoming annoyed with the dancing around.

  “Aren’t you the groom?” Austin asked.

  “Hell no, I’m not the groom.”

  Back in the groom’s room James still pretended to be Jesse:

  “Go back to him, be happy.” James insisted. “You might want to go down the fire exit…I don’t want to risk you getting killed.” He admitted putting his tie on. “You and Austin go back to Hawaii, don’t worry about me, I’m happy.” He said.

  A knock came on the door.

  “Go.” He said in urgency.

  I opened the window and climbed out on to the fire exit. I shut the window and began to descend.

  Back in the room Austin and Jesse were still talking:

  “What!?” Austin exclaimed. “Jamie just went up to the groom’s room to see YOU!” he said.

  “Jamie is here?” he asked excitedly.

  “Yes. She thought you were the one getting married.” Austin said.

  “Come on.” Jesse said leaving the room as Austin followed.

  They rushed up the stairs and into the groom’s room. Bill was standing in the room with James.

  “Austin! We need you buddy.” Bill said. “Sarah added an extra bridesmaid; we need another groom’s men. Here is a matching tie. ” he said handing him a bow tie.

  “I can’t stay sir…I have to get going…” He tried to speak.

  “Nonsense…!” Bill chimed in interrupting him. “You need to be here for your friend.”

  Austin rolled his eyes as Bill turned around.

  “See you boys down stairs.” Bill said and left the room. As soon as the door shut Jesse started.

  “Where is she James!?” Jesse said.

  “She left.” James said.

  “Damn it! What did you do to her?” Jesse asked.

  ”She thought I was you. I told her what was needed to be said.” James said trying to defend himself.

  Jesse jumped on James and began to strangle him again. “Tell me now James, what did you tell her?”

  “I told her… you were happy with Sarah… and she should go back … with her new love… Austin.” James said.

  Jesse shot a hurtful glance at Austin as he got off of James.

  “When were you going to tell me that, Austin?” Jesse asked as tears filled his eyes.

  “She’s been dating him for eleven months now.” James said.

  The room was silent as it began to settle in Jesse stomach.

  “I can’t trust any of you.” He sa
id pushing past Austin.

  “Jesse!” James said. “Please, dad will kill Sarah and JJ if I tell you where we hid her…and if you don’t show at the wedding then he will know something is wrong.”

  Jesse rolled his eyes as his hand touched the doorknob.

  “She’s in Hawaii.” Austin spoke up. James looked at Austin hatefully.

  “I’ll tell you everything!” James said. “Just don’t leave yet.”

  He began to franticly tap on his phone. “Look, her plane doesn’t leave until 5pm; please…I can’t lose Sarah again.” James pleaded. “Doesn’t my happiness mean anything to you? I’m you brother.”

  Jesse hung his head for a moment. “Does mine mean anything to you!?” Jesse yelled back. “All this time you could have told me, but you didn’t! It’s all about what you want!” He said. “Get ready, your bride is waiting.” He said as he opened the door to exit the room.

  “Does that mean you’re staying?” James asked with relief.

  “Despite what you think, James, I do care about you… “I’m your brother.”” Jesse quoted James as he left the room. Austin followed.

  “What about Jamie?” Austin asked.

  “It would be wise for you to not talk to me.” Jesse warned.

  “It’s not my fault she was being lied to.” Austin said. “She thinks you hate her…and I was there for her.”

  Jesse became angrier “I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER!” he yelled back.

  He looked around and remembered he needed to be quiet. “I...should have been the one…not you.” He whispered hatefully to Austin. “Let’s get this over with.” Jesse said as he walked down the hall and back down the stairs.

  “I’m not staying.” Austin argued.

  “Look, he’s right. If we leave, Bill will know what’s up and go after Jamie.” Jesse explained.

  “Are you sure we will get out of here on time?” He asked.

  “If I have anything to do with it we will.” Jesse said. “Let’s go.” He walked down the stairs and Austin followed. The time was 2:30pm.

  Chapter 14

  As the three of them argued in the groom room, I had made my way down the fire exit. I searched franticly at the bottom of the stairs for Austin, but after about a minute I gave up. I figured it wasn’t worth the risk of getting caught by Bill and headed back to the cab.