by E. S. Carter
Without realising, my mouth lifts into a small smile but I still cannot get enough courage to turn and face him.
Before I have chance to offer a reply, his fingers gently touch my face, delicately cupping my chin and moving my gaze towards him.
Just this small touch seeps into me, the warmth of his skin on mine is both soothing and electrifying and my whole body craves more of it, craves it so much that I am unaware I have tilted my head into his palm, seeking more of that warmth, more of that heady buzz I feel at his contact.
‘Emma’ his voice breaks through the silence and my quiet enjoyment of his innocent caress.
‘I’m sorry for everything.’ The deep timbre of his words forces me to look at him.
Those bluest of blue eyes are so clear, it is like looking into infinity, yet all I can see reflected back at me is guilt.
The everything he is sorry for is clear enough, my initial instincts are right. He does not see Emma, he sees a broken and battered ‘Scarlett’ from that bloody awful night when everything changed.
It takes all my strength to break eye contact and offer him a small nod, my throat has closed up and even if I the had words to offer him, I do not think I could get them to pass my lips.
I resume the inspection and tracing of the flowers in the lace of my skirt, wanting more than anything to make this right so I can leave and take with me any guilt he feels.
Forcing air into my lungs, I make my voice as strong and honest as I can.
I need him to hear my words and know that I am going to be alright, in fact I need him to know that I am alright, right here and now, no need for him to feel guilt any longer.
‘I’m glad we could talk, I’ve thought about you a lot over the last couple of months, more than I should probably be admitting. I really do want to thank you for everything Jake, I’m in a good place now because of you.’ My breath catches a little but I have to make him hear me, I have to get all this out.
‘Words are all I can offer as thanks, even though they seem insignificant on the grand scale of things.’
I want him to see me as Emma and not a girl to be saved so I turn and meet his eyes.
‘You not only saved me that night Jake, you saved me every day, of every week that followed. You words, your beautiful flowers, they broke through the darkness I felt encased in and helped me find my way back into the light. I am sat here now because of you, I owe you everything. That’s why words, they just aren’t enough.’
He understands, I finally see it on his face, he sees me.
I know that I have finally got it all out. A piece of me I never knew I lost, seems to click back into place and yet again I owe Jake for helping me to get that piece back.
Reaching out to touch him one last time, I gently place my hand against his cheek.
‘You saved me Jake’ my fingers move lightly across his skin, memorising the feel of him.
It is only when it becomes apparent we have said all we need to and Jake does not respond that I know it is time to go.
Not wanting to leave him, I pull my hand away in a sharp movement, the same way you would pull a band aid from a scab. I need instant distance from a man that I will never, ever, forget.
Standing just as quick, I turn to leave, not sure that I am capable of saying goodbye.
I have only take one step when I feel both his hands grab mine.
‘Emma wait!’ I turn slowly towards him; defeat not allowing me to take my eyes from the floor, there is nothing left for Jake to say to me.
‘I…… leave tomorrow night, straight after Nate’s birthday celebration. I want to see you again.’
Not believing I heard him right confusion causes me to look back up into his face.
God damn, he is utterly beautiful. I find myself stunned and unable to reply and yet he is looking at me expectantly. This is stupid, say something Emma!
All at once it hits me, he is yet again trying to do the right thing. It is time for this to end, time for Jake to realise he is off the hook when it comes to me.
With more power than I thought I had left in me, I tear my hand from his and back a step away from him, pivoting to turn I am stopped dead when he speaks again.
‘Emma.’ his voice sounds desperate and it takes all my resolve to keep moving but he does not stop
‘You said you wouldn’t run Emma.’
The pain in his voice both shocks and pierces me, I want so much to turn and run back into his embrace.
How sad is it that I will take anything he has to offer, even if he is offering it for all the wrong reasons?
Can I cope with only one more day of Jake?
He is leaving soon, I should just make this easy on myself and keep walking but a small part of me, the part that wishes I was a girl that Jake really might desire and not just feel pity for, speaks before I do.
‘Pick me up at 4pm, Nate has my address.’
I do not wait for a reply, I move my legs as fast as I can and bolt for the door.
By the time it has closed behind me, the reality of what I have just agreed to slaps me in the face.
I am seeing Jake again at 4pm this afternoon!
Shit! I need to find Rhian, hand over the club and calm myself the hell down.
I am not sure if I feel sick, exhausted after the long night or just worn out from all the drama.
My body is tingling all over, a mixture of adrenaline and nerves, so the quicker I find Rhian and get her up to date, the faster I can be in a cab and having a full blown meltdown in private.
Forcing my feet to walk back towards Aurora, my brain is going a million miles a minute and my hands have a full on case of the shakes.
God if Liv could see me now, she would probably wet her knickers.
If she could see me now, she would know exactly what to do to slap me out of the anxiety rush that is pumping through my body. I have only got a few hours to get myself together and I could really do with some sleep but I am guessing that is highly unlikely.
Oh God Emma, have you set yourself up for another fall?
Sleep. That elusive five letter word that my body desperately needs but my overactive mind will not allow happen.
My thoughts have been consumed by her.
The way her flawless skin blushes when she is embarrassed or feeling nervous, the way her captivating eyes sparkle with innocence yet are full of knowledge and the way her breasts rise and fall with each breath she draws.
Yes I’m a bloke, we notice these things even if we are trying not to and with Emma, you would have to be blind not to!
Giving up my quest for sleep, I grab my phone, load up the search engine and begin trawling through local websites, looking for ideas that I can use to make this afternoon with Emma something that will blow her mind.
Jet skiing? No, not intimate enough.
Snorkelling? Again, not enough chance for interaction.
Wine tasting? Boring!
Restaurants? Too cliché.
Boat trips? Hmmm maybe if I can find one that takes you around the hidden coast of Ibiza that could work.
Ten minutes of phone calls later and I hit gold when a large boat hire company I call, gives me the number of a local guy who does exclusive, private, tours of some of the most hidden bays that the island has to offer.
After calling him and promising to make it worth his while, I book him for 4.30pm.
The trip includes a fully prepared, champagne picnic for two that we can enjoy while sitting on a beautiful, small bay, where he ensures it will be just the two of us.
I hope this will not scare Emma off. I do not want to overwhelm her but the thought of having to share my time with her, even with random strangers in a restaurant, instantly grates on me.
I want to know more about this girl who has got both the brain in my head and the one in my pants, hungering for any meagre offering she throws our way.
I just have to remember to keep my hands to myself and my dick in my pants. I am not planning on seducin
g her. Well not yet anyway.
For once I find myself genuinely just wanting to get to know her better. This is a first for me and H would be buying me my own pack of tampons if I admitted these thoughts out loud!
A quick time check alerts me that it is currently 2.30pm.
I have just over an hour before I have to leave to shower, make a call to my agent, who has been hounding me by voicemail, email and text to get back to her urgently and then check up with Nate about tonight’s plans, plus get Emma’s address from him without the third degree.
My agent can wait, I will deal with her once I have showered. I realise things are going to be manic when I get back to the UK and I just want to concentrate on Emma until I have to return to the circus that is quickly becoming my life.
Nate on the other hand is easier to deal with via text, I am not in the mood to deal with his twenty questions, so I pull my phone from my shorts pocket and fire off a quick message.
Hey Bro, what’s the deal tonight? Also send me Emma’s address, taking her out for the day
Short and sweet and I make sure not to phrase the Emma part as a question, I am not asking for his approval, I just want her details.
My phone buzzes almost immediately in reply.
Club 10pm for family meal, don’t be late & that’s not a good idea little Bro
Fuck that! I knew he was going to be awkward but he does not get to decide if I am good enough for Emma. Closing his message I open a new one and text Liv.
Liv I need Emma’s address, taking her out today
Again, I do not word it as a request and I am hoping that she is not with Nate when she sees it.
Like hell are either one of those going to meddle in my shit.
I throw my phone on the bed and begin to undress for the shower; a message comes through just as I am slipping off my shorts, tossing them into my open suitcase at the foot of the bed.
Sorry Jake, not a good idea
What the fuck! I am going to rip Nate a new one when I see him tonight, he has obviously intercepted my text to Liv. Not to worry, I have one last shot at getting that address without having to march myself over to Nate’s place to beat it out of him.
Liam, I need Emma’s address
Short but sweet.
Discarding my phone on the bed, I make my way into the shower with visions of Emma sat aboard the bow of a boat, her hair whipped around by the sea breeze, her eyes drinking me in as though she is parched, desperate for the sight of me.
These are not good thoughts to have while standing naked in the shower.
My erection is painfully hard despite the coolness of the water pouring over my body and I contemplate relieving the ache in my balls with a quick hand job but no sooner than my hand wraps around my girth, I drop it like it’s hot, not wanting to jack off to thoughts of Emma and sully the vision of her in my mind.
She deserves more than me whacking one off while thinking about her like a depraved, sex starved, prick. She is too good for the likes of me and I wonder when she will realise this and kick me to the curb.
Maybe Nate is right to withhold her address. After all he knows me better than anyone.
Cursing my pounding dick, I focus on washing as quickly as possible, trying my best not to touch my throbbing hard on.
Shit, maybe I should have a quick wank just to clear my brain. I cannot go picking this girl up with a tent in the front of my trousers.
Shutting down all thoughts of Emma, I wrap one soapy hand around myself, aggressively manipulating my flesh as quickly as possible, aiming for a hasty release.
My breath picks up, the rhythmic, hard, motion of my hand sends sparks of desire straight into my balls.
My spine stiffens, my back arches and I come hard against the tiled shower wall.
Images of full round lips wrapped around my dick and blue/green eyes filled with desire looking up at me, causes my orgasm to tear from me, seemingly never ending in duration, draining me, yet filling me to bursting with a voracious hunger for the vision I have conjured.
This girl is going to be the death of me.
I step out of the shower and even though I have just experienced one of the most intense orgasms that I have ever had by my own hand, my balls still feel heavy, my voracity unsated.
I roughly wrap a towel around my waist and do not bother to dry myself off, walking back into the bedroom to check my phone.
The screen lights up when I tap it and I notice a reply from Liam.
I’m only cooperating because I’ve checked with Emma, no need for address, she’ll meet you at 4, just txt me where and I’ll pass the details on. I don’t need to tell you, DO NOT mess with her Jake
My little brother thinks he is hard enough to warn me off. How cute.
I want to pick her up. Address?
No chance Jake, she wants to meet you there, take it or leave it
Fuck him! Why the hell does everyone think they have the right to get involved?
I am not going to shag her and drop her crying on their doorsteps when I have had my fill, even if that is my usual MO. She is a big girl and they are treating her like a baby and fucking with me in the process!
Fine. Marina 4pm. I’ll be waiting right on the front. Don’t fucking try getting involved in this Liam, it’s none of your damn business
Jules is MY business. I swear I will forget we are blood if you fuck with her
Ha! My little brother has grown a set on his travels. Shame he is pissing around the wrong tree.
Besides that, why the hell does he call her Jules?
I do not bother to reply.
Instead I throw on some clean jeans and decide to call my agent before she hounds me any further.
‘Tina Daniels office …’ before Amy gets another word of her greeting out I interrupt with ‘Amy, Jake Fox returning Tina’s calls.’
I am far more abrupt than normal with her, in fact flirting with Amy was once a fun way to pass a few minutes and fucking her was a real fun way to pass a few hours but now I just want to find out what Tina wants and I do not have time to piss about chatting up her assistant.
‘Oh hey Jake, it’s been far too long, when are you back in the UK? I have an itch that needs scratching.’
Amy’s voice drips with seduction, it does not affect me anymore though, in fact I find it quite a turn off.
‘I am sure there is someone available to help you with that itch Amy but I am just calling to talk with Tina and if you don’t mind, I’m short on time.’
She replies and her tone has quickly been flipped from desire to disdain, how someone can change their tonality so drastically from one second to the next is quite impressive and a side I have not seen of Amy before.
‘Putting you through, Mr Fox.’
A second later the line goes quiet before buzzing through to Tina’s office.
‘Fox, where the effing hell have you been?’ Tina always cuts the crap, no sweet words from her for one of her biggest rising stars.
‘I’m on a break Tina, I told you I’d be unavailable for a few days for some family time. What’s the problem? You’ve been hounding me ever since I landed.’
‘Don’t get too big for your boots Foxy, I’m the person who clears up the shit you leave in your wake, the one who makes your many conquests either shut up and move on or make you look like an effing sex god when they sell their boudoir stories to the papers. Things are hotting up in the UK and your face is EVERYWHERE. The studio is requiring you to sign off on some more contracts in light of your sexscapades and you need to get your firm arse back here to prepare for the season one premiere.’
I huff out a harsh breath. ‘I know what’s required of me Tina, I’m fully prepared, no need for the lecture.’
Her voice takes on a hard edge ‘No Fox, things have changed over the last few days. The hype surrounding you and this series has gone through the effing roof, we need to make sure you are prepared and get things in place. You’ve been living in a bubble while filming, trus
t me when I say, they OWN you now, your life will never be the same again.’
Her words roll off me, yes I have been getting recognised more, yes I read the articles she emails through to me every day, I know I am the hot, bad boy player in the eyes of the press. I know what is expected of me.
‘Tina, you can own me when I land back in the UK, right now I’m making the most of my last few hours, I will call you when I land.’
I hang up, not bothering with a goodbye.
Arriving at the marina with ten minutes to spare gives me time to peruse the many boats anchored before me.
They range from small fisherman’s vessels, to ostentatious super yachts and every variety in-between.
I can only hope that the boat I have booked for this afternoon is half decent. The owner described it to me over the phone but I have no knowledge of boats, so it all went over my head.
The name sounds promising though, ‘Never Say Goodbye’, as soon as he told me the name, I knew it would be perfect for Emma.
Whenever I am with her, I never want to say goodbye.
I am feeling uncharacteristically nervous at the thought of seeing her again and I am not sure I like feeling this way.
Gazing out over the many boats on display, my stomach churns in anticipation and I hope the view gives me time to reign in these unfamiliar emotions that swirl around inside my gut.
At 4pm I focus my attention back on land and scan the crowds looking for Emma to arrive.
I pick her out of the throng immediately; she has not noticed me yet, so I get to stare unabashedly at her without her knowing.
Her long hair is tied to the side in a thick braid, her eyes are covered by a simple pair of aviator sunglasses and her tanned body looks amazing in a flowing, white, dress that touches the floor, with a wide, brown leather belt cinched at her waist, highlighting her womanly curves.