by Joan Wolf
At ten to three, Kate came out of the house, followed by her dog. She crossed to the car, and Daniel got out. She looked up at him, and her boyishly cut hair shone blue as a raven's wing in the sunshine.
It was a true black, Daniel found himself thinking, unlike his own, which shone brown in the light.
"Come on in," she said impatiently. "There's no point in sitting out here like an unwelcome suitor."
He went with her back to the house, thinking, But I am unwelcome. You've made little attempt to hide that fact.
He followed her in the front door, then into the comfortable blue-and-white living room. She said, "I'll go and collect Ben from the bus stop. You can wait here. I'll send him in when we get back. When you've finished talking to him, you can come into the kitchen. Ben usually has a snack when he gets home from school."
"Do you always wait for him at the bus stop?" he asked curiously.
"Usually I do, and if I'm tied up with something, I send Cyrus." At the sound of his name, the dog lifted his head and looked at her.
"I'm going now," she said.
He watched her leave the room. She was wearing jeans, a long-sleeved blue shirt, and laced brown paddock boots and, from the back, with her short hair and slender frame, she could have been mistaken for a boy.
Not from the front, however, he thought. No one would ever mistakenly think that face was masculine.
It was fifteen minutes before Daniel heard the front door open. Then there was the sound of a dog's nails on the bare floor, and Kate said, "Go on into the living room, Ben. I'll be in the kitchen if you want me."
A floorboard creaked, then someone was opening the living room door. Daniel stood with his back to the windows, his heart in his mouth, as Ben came into the room.
"Hello," the little boy said shyly. "Mommy says that you're my father." He was dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a striped and collared knit shirt.
Daniel held out his hands. "Yes, I am, Ben. And I'm so happy that I've found you."
Ben crossed the room toward Daniel's welcoming arms and allowed himself to be embraced. But Daniel felt the stiffness in his son's small body and did not attempt to hold on to him. He released him and smiled downward. "Why don't we sit? I imagine you have some questions you would like to ask me."
Ben's beautiful, little-boy face was grave. "Yes, I do."
Daniel sat on the blue-and-white patterned sofa and drew Ben to sit beside him. "Shoot," he said.
"Why didn't you come before?" Ben said.
Daniel had known this must be coming and had done his best to prepare an answer. "Let me tell you a story that may help explain why I didn't," he said.
Ben's eyes were trained on his face. "All right."
With difficulty, Daniel refrained from touching his son. He began the story he had thought up on the drive to Glendale. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl who ran away from home because she wanted adventure. But the man she ran away with wasn't Prince Charming. He didn't take good care of her, and she decided she didn't want to stay with him. Then she met another man who she liked better. This young man was a baseball player, and he liked her, too. So she left the bad man and went to live with the baseball player." He looked down into Ben's grave eyes. "Are you getting this so far?"
"Is my mother—Colleen—the beautiful young girl?"
"Yes."
'And you're the baseball player?"
"That's right."
Ben nodded. "But if they liked each other so much, why didn't they get married?"
"They were both very young, Ben. They didn't think they were ready for something as serious as marriage. But then the young girl—Colleen—found out she was going to have a baby."
"Me."
"That's right. You. And knowing that she was going to be a mother made her grow up very fast. She realized that she had to have a home and security for her baby, and she decided that the best place to find both these things was in her own home with her own family. She thought the baseball player was too young and too poor and too . . . frivolous ... to marry."
Ben's fine, straight brows drew together. "What does frivolous mean?"
"It means he wasn't serious. All he thought about was baseball. He wasn't interested in anything else. She didn't think he'd be a help to her."
For the first time, Ben's gaze fell away, and he looked at his feet. "Is that true?"
"Is what true?"
"That you wouldn't have been a help to her."
"No, it's not true. I would have helped her. But she didn't know that, Ben."
"Would you have been glad that you were having a baby?"
Daniel looked at his son's bent head. "Yes," he said. "I would have been glad."
Whether that was true or not, he didn't know. What he did know was that his son needed to hear those words from him.
Ben lifted his head. A little color had crept into his pale face.
Daniel said, "So what happened was that Colleen left the baseball player without telling him she was having a baby and went home to her mother and her sister. They took excellent care of her and her baby and then, when Colleen died, her sister adopted you as her own child."
"Mommy."
"Yes. Your mommy."
"But how did you find out about me?"
"The man that Colleen ran away with and later left came to your house one day and saw you. He saw how much you look like me, and he guessed what had happened. He was the one who told me about you."
For the first time normal color returned to Ben's warm olive skin. "Do we look alike?" he asked shyly.
"You look exactly as I did when I was your age. One day I'll show you some pictures."
Ben's eyes sparkled. "Then you really are my father?"
"I really am your father. And I am sorry that I wasn't around for you before, but I hope you'll let me be part of your life now. I'm so happy that I found you."
Ben smiled and Daniel's heart swelled. "I'm happy, too," Ben said.
This time when Daniel embraced him, the small body relaxed and leaned against him. Daniel buried his lips in the shiny dark hair and shut his eyes to hold back tears.
"Can I call you Daddy?" Ben asked into his shoulder.
He relaxed his arms and looked down into Ben's face. "I would love it if you would call me Daddy."
The little boy gave an excited jump. "Can I tell my friends who you are?"
"Certainly."
"Wow," Ben said. "This is so cool."
Daniel laughed a little shakily. "Your mom and I are working it out that you can spend one day a week and two weekends a month with me," Daniel said.
"Oh." The word sounded startled. "Then you're not going to live with us?"
Daniel felt a pain stab his heart at those artless words. "I can't live with you, Ben. Your mom and I aren't married. And I presume you want to continue living with her, not with me."
"You lived with Colleen, and you weren't married."
"That's true, but this is different."
"How?"
Daniel tried to speak calmly and logically. "Your mother and I hardly know each other. It will be better if we live separately, and you come to visit me."
"I know. Like Andy's parents," Ben said sadly. "They don't like each other either."
"I didn't say I didn't like your mother," Daniel said hastily. "I just said I don't know her."
"Maybe Mommy can come to visit you, too. That way you'll get to know each other."
"We'll see," Daniel temporized. "Right now the important thing is for you and I to get to know each other."
"Can I come watch you pitch?"
"Of course you can. In fact, I'm due to pitch Sunday afternoon. Would you like to come to the game?"
Ben clapped his hands. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
"Great. Tell you what, let's go into the kitchen for a snack and you can tell your mom about coming to the game Sunday."
"Okay." Ben jumped to his feet. "Do you like milk and cookies?"
"I love milk an
d cookies."
"Or you could have a cup of coffee. That's what Mommy does."
"Coffee would be great." "Come on," Ben said. "Let's go."
Kate was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee when they came in. One look at Ben's radiant face told her that the interview had gone well. She forced a smile and thought, Please God, let this man turn out to be a good father to Ben.
"Guess what, Mommy! My daddy said I could come to his game on Sunday. He's going to pitch!"
"I hope you will come too," Daniel said quickly. "And your mother as well. I would like to take you all out to dinner afterward."
I need to get to know this man, Kate thought. I need to find out if I can trust him with Ben.
"Thank you," she said to Daniel. "That would be very nice."
"Can we have some cookies?" Ben asked. "We're hungry."
He was so transparently happy with his marvelous new "Daddy" that Kate's heart cramped with fear. Could this man possibly realize the treasure he was plucking so casually out of her home? "Of course you can have some cookies. Do you like oatmeal-raisin, Mr. Montero?"
"Please call me Daniel. And yes, I like oatmeal-raisin."
"I want milk, but Daddy wants coffee."
Meeting the sparkling eyes of her son, Kate smiled. "Coming right up, my lord." She sketched a bow. "Will there be anything else I can get for you?"
Ben laughed. "No. You're so funny, Mommy."
Ears pricked, Cyrus followed her as she went to the counter to get cookies out of the cookie tin. "Cyrus gets a cookie, too," she heard Ben inform Daniel.
"As he should," Daniel replied gravely.
"Do you have a dog, Daddy?"
It seemed that Ben could not use that term enough. I didn't realize how much he missed having a father.
"I don't have one now, because I'm away so much. But I had several dogs when I was growing up."
Kate set the last cookie on the plate and turned to bring them to the table. "Mommy says it's not fair to have a dog if you're gone all day," Ben said. "Dogs need company."
"That is true, and that's why I don't have one. I do have a cat, though."
Kate put the plate of cookies down and looked at him in surprise. He did not seem to be the kind of man to have a cat.
"What's his name?" Ben asked.
"It's a her, and her name is Annemarie."
'Annemarie?" Kate said. "That's an odd name for a cat."
"She doesn't think so."
Kate laughed. "I imagine not." She brought a glass of milk for Ben and a cup of coffee for Daniel. For some reason she felt better knowing that he had a pet. "Do you take milk or sugar?"
"No, thank you."
She refilled her own cup and joined them at the table. "Do you have homework, Ben?"
'Just a little. I can do it after dinner."
"All right."
Ben looked from Kate to Daniel then back again to Kate. He beamed. "Now I have a family like everybody else."
Kate looked at Daniel and thought she saw a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. She said woodenly, "I'll inform the school and the parents of Ben's closest friends of what has happened."
"Thank you . . . Katharine."
"My name is Kate."
He shook his head. "Your name is Katharine . . . Katharine Foley."
"But everybody calls her Kate," Ben said around the cookie in his mouth.
"I believe I shall call her Katharine," Daniel said. He smiled at her. "A special name for the mother of my son."
Kate stared at him suspiciously. She didn't trust either his smile or the sudden warmth in his voice. He was trying to charm her, and she didn't like it. "Call me whatever you like," she said.
He finished his coffee. "Unfortunately, I have to be going. My manager gave me some time off, but I should be getting to the stadium as soon as possible."
"What time are you supposed to be at work?" Kate asked curiously.
"I usually get there between three and four. I do some throwing and they have a big spread of food, and I eat."
"I'll wear my Yankees hat on Sunday, Mommy," Ben said.
Once more she looked into his big sparkling eyes. I have to make this work, she thought. For Ben's sake I have to be friendly to this man.
"Would you like to walk me to my car?" Daniel asked Ben.
"Yeah!"
"I'll call you about Sunday," Daniel said, looking at her.
She nodded and watched as the two of them left her kitchen together. They both carried their heads the exact same way.
* * *
7
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Kate stood next to Ben, her eyes focused on the solitary figure on the pitcher's mound. It was the eighth inning, there were two strikes on the man at the plate, Daniel was throwing a perfect game, and the crowd was on its feet, screaming for a strikeout.
He went into his windup, an incredibly fluid motion, and delivered the pitch.
"Ball two!" the umpire called.
"Damn," Kate said out loud.
"Damn," Ben repeated.
"You can't say that word until you're eighteen," Kate said automatically.
The stadium was packed, and all around them people were yelling words of encouragement to Daniel. The late-September day was warm enough for Kate to have taken off the cardigan of her blue sweater set, and the smell of beer and hot dogs was in the air. Ben's face was sticky from the cotton candy he had eaten earlier.
"What a fantastic way to end the season," the man next to Ben said to Kate. "A perfect game!"
When Kate was a child she had watched baseball games with her father on television, and she had really gotten into this one. When inning after inning had passed, and Daniel had not given up a hit or a walk, she found herself rooting for him as wholeheartedly as the people all around her.
Daniel went into his windup and the roar of the crowd seemed to shake the stadium. The pitch went in, and the man at the plate swung mightily. "Strike!" the umpire called, and the crowd went wild.
The inning was over and as Daniel approached the dugout he looked up at Kate and Ben, who were sitting behind it, and gave them a cocky grin. Ben grinned and waved back, and Kate smiled. The man next to Ben said, "Do you know Montero?"
Ben replied importantly, "He's my daddy."
Kate set her jaw and prepared to endure humiliation. The whole of New York knew that Daniel wasn't married.
"Well congratulations, youngster," the man said. "Your daddy is pitching a whale of a game."
"I know," Ben said. "It's perfect"
The man's curious gaze fixed on Kate. "The suspense must be killing you."
Kate looked at him through a wall of ice. "I'll survive."
"Ah." The man immediately took his eyes off her and fixed them back on the field. "Let's hope the Yankees can score another run here," he said to Ben. "One-nothing is a pretty tight game."
"Derek will get a hit," Ben said confidently.
Derek did in fact get a hit, but the following batters couldn't advance him beyond second base. Consequently, Daniel went into the ninth inning pitching a perfect game with a one-run lead.
Kate could not believe how involved she was with this stupid game. Her heart was beating hard, and her stomach was tight with tension. Come on, Daniel, she exhorted him silently. Come on.
The first Baltimore hitter bounced a weak grounder to the second baseman, who threw him out.
One down, two to go, Kate thought. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides. The entire stadium was standing, and Ben climbed onto his seat so he could see over the person in front of him.
"He's got it," the woman behind her said jubilantly. "Nothing can stop him now."
Shut up, you idiot, Kate thought fiercely.
The next batter had hit a deep fly ball to left the last time he was up. "Careful, Daniel!" the man next to Ben called.
"Strike him out," Ben yelled.
Just don't let him get a hit, Kate prayed.
"Bal
l one," the scoreboard flashed. It was far too noisy to hear the umpire.
The next pitch was a strike, then Daniel delivered two more balls. The crowd yelped indignantly when the last pitch was called a ball, but the umpire's ruling was the law. The entire stadium tensed as Daniel delivered the three-one pitch. If he walked the batter he would still have a no-hitter, but he would have blown his perfect game.
The umpire's right arm went up, signaling a strike.
Now the count was full, and the crowd began to roar for another strike. Daniel sent in a slider, and the batter fouled it off. The crowd quieted until he went into his windup once more. The next ball was a fastball, a cutter that came in on the hands of the left-handed hitter, who swung at it futilely, missing completely.
Two out. The crowd was ecstatic.
Kate felt sick to her stomach. This is ridiculous, she thought, but she couldn't seem to help herself. He looks so alone out there.
Strike one, the umpire signaled.
The batter fouled the second pitch off, then Daniel threw a low slider, but the batter didn't bite. The count was one-and-two, and Daniel was one strike away from pitching a perfect game.
The next strike was the pitch with which he had been getting out batters all afternoon, a high inside fastball. The batter swung late and managed to fist the ball off the handle of the bat. It flared into the air toward the shortstop. The standing crowd held its breath in anticipation. The shortstop jumped as high as he could, and the ball floated over the top of his glove to land just behind him on the outfield grass. It was a hit.
"Noooooo!" the crowd roared.
On the mound Daniel stood perfectly still as the left fielder picked up the ball and fired it into first. Then he turned around to face the plate and signaled for a new ball.
Kate, who admired grace under pressure above anything, was profoundly moved. Ben was crying. Kate leaned over and said close to his ear, so she could be heard above the roar of the crowd, which was still standing, "He's going to win this game for his team, Ben. Just watch. He won't let them beat him. And that's what really counts."