We give her our orders, food enough to sustain six grown men, and she looks impressed by the time she walks away. Once she’s gone, I focus all my attention on the cup of coffee in front of me, waiting for April to continue with her interrogation, unsure how I will handle it if she does.
“Do you like him?” At my mom’s quiet question, I lift my eyes to hers and nod. “Good,” she whispers, and I bite the inside of my cheek.
“At least tell us the good night kiss was mind-blowing.” April, never one to give up, prompts and I hear my mom huff in frustration. Still, I turn my head to look at my sister.
“The kiss good night was everything I hoped it would be.” I watch her expression fill with relief. Seeing that look, I realize she hasn’t stopped worrying about her role in the way things played out between me and Gareth and has still been feeling guilty about it. “We’re good.” I reach under the table to squeeze her hand, and her fingers lock around mine tightly before they let go.
“So, when are you seeing him again?” June asks as I pick up my coffee.
I hold my cup inches from my lips and shrug. “I’m not sure. We didn’t make plans.”
“Oh.” She looks forlorn by my answer, and I wonder if I should be worried that we didn’t agree on a time to see each other again.
Did he just tell me what I wanted to hear so he didn’t have to deal with things being awkward? I mean, I did sleep with him on our first date; maybe he thinks I’m easy now and wants nothing to do with me. My stomach turns at the thought.
“He’ll call,” April says, and I glance at her. “He’ll call. Just give him time.”
“Sure,” I agree, not feeling sure at all. Actually, now I’m wondering what the heck I was thinking, sleeping with him last night. I should’ve had better control. I should have.... “Oh no.” My heart pounds, remembering him telling me that the condom broke the last time we had sex. How did I forget about that until now?
“What?” Mom asks worriedly, and I shake my head.
“Nothing. I… I thought I saw that crazy-haired guy walk by, from the alien show July watches.”
“What? Where?” July looks behind her out the window to the sidewalk.
“It wasn’t him. It just looked like him,” I say, because I know she will get up and go search him out if she thinks he’s out there.
“Bummer.” She turns back toward the table. “I’m trying to convince Wes to take me to Alien Con in Arizona next year, but so far it’s a no-go.” Her nose scrunches up in annoyance. “Do you guys want to go with me? We could make it a girls’ trip.”
“I’m not going to an alien convention,” April refuses immediately.
“I’ll go,” June says, and we all look at her doubtfully, knowing there is no way her husband would let her go to another state without him. “I mean, I’ll come and bring my husband and baby.”
“Maybe if Evan goes, Wes will agree to come with me,” July plots, sounding hopeful.
“If you really want to go, I think you should buy your tickets and tell Wes you’re going with or without him,” Mom says with an evil smile before she continues. “I bet he’ll change his mind about going then.”
“That’s actually genius.” July nudges Mom’s shoulder with her own. “You really are the master Alpha tamer.”
Mom laughs at the newly bestowed title and looks around the table at each of us. “I’ve had a whole lot of years dealing with you girls’ father, so take it from me when I say sometimes you just have to play dirty to get what you want.”
“I’m sure Dad loves it when you play dirty,” April says, and I giggle in spite of the unease building in my chest.
“You’re not wrong.” Mom grins.
“Gross,” May mumbles.
I have to agree; it is gross to think about what our parents do behind closed doors, but they have never been a couple to shy away from PDA. Since I was little, I have found them making out more than once. Thankfully though, it’s always been when they were fully clothed. If I ever did walk in on them doing the dirty, I would have to go in search of someone capable of erasing my memory.
“Anyway, what’s everyone doing today?” June asks, looking at each of us. “I was thinking of hitting up the mall after breakfast, since I have some time to kill while Evan and Tia are in Chattanooga visiting Colton and his wife.”
“I need to go to the drugstore,” I blurt without thinking, and everyone looks at me. Crap. “I need to pick up shampoo and body wash.”
“We can do both,” June suggests, and everyone agrees, making me wish I hadn’t opened my big mouth. There is no way I can get what I actually need from the drugstore with my sisters and mom present.
“We haven’t had a girls’ shopping day in forever. I love that idea. After we finish breakfast, we can walk to the drugstore down the block, then since I drove your dad’s SUV and we can all fit, I’ll drive us to the mall,” Mom says excitedly, and my stomach sinks as I listen to them all talk about what stores they want to go to. I cringe when they start talking about having lunch and seeing a movie after shopping.
While they are distracted, I pull out my cell phone and don’t even look at the few texts I have, since I’m sure they’re all from my sisters and mom asking where I was this morning. I go to my search link and google information about the morning after pill, feeling relief when I read that I have to take it within seventy-two hours after unprotected sex for it to be effective.
“Did he text?”
At April’s question I quickly exit the page I was looking at and glance at her. “Umm.” I click on my messages, and my heart beats harder when I see he did—not once but twice. The first message from him came in late last night when I was already in bed asleep.
Home in bed, thinking about you.
The second message is from early this morning.
What are your plans today? I’m taking the boys to the batting cages this afternoon then coming home to watch the Mets on TV and eat junk food.
“He did,” I whisper in disbelief.
“What did he say?” April asks, keeping her voice surprisingly quiet.
“He asked what I was doing today.”
“Did you message him back?”
“Not yet.” I shake my head, looking back at my cell phone and wondering exactly what I should say.
“Tell him you’re spending the day with your sisters but you’re free tonight if he wants to do something.”
“It’s Sunday.” I sigh, knowing how crazy Sundays are for me and I don’t have kids. I need to get ready to face another week of school.
“So?” April prompts, and I look over to find her frowning.
“He has kids,” I remind her, and understanding fills her features. “He can’t exactly come see me without having someone to look after them, and I don’t know if we are at a place where he’d feel comfortable having me around his boys.”
“You’re right. Still, you can let him know you do want to see him. Unless…” She pauses, studying me. “Do you want to see him again?”
“Absolutely,” I say, knowing without a doubt that there is something between us worth exploring, even with all the hurdles we might have to face along the way.
“Then you should tell him that. I know we think men should be able to read our minds, but they can’t. They only understand directness.”
“How do you know that?” I raise a brow.
“Because unlike you, my sweet, rule-following sister, I have had to experience falling for a guy, thinking he could read between the lines, and the unfortunate luck of finding out he couldn’t.”
My heart aches and a lump forms in my throat when I see the deep hurt she always tries to hide. I know she’s speaking from experience and talking about her ex, Cohen Abbott—the only guy she’s ever really loved, and the one that got away.
“I….” I don’t even know what to say to make her feel better. I can’t imagine having the image of the man I once loved forced down my throat each time I turned on the TV or looked at
the magazine rack at the store. Or worse, having to hear his voice every time I turned on the radio, singing a song about lost love that I know is directed at me. “Maybe—”
“Please don’t,” she whispers tightly, cutting me off, and I swallow hard. “Just text Gareth and let him know you’d like to see him.”
“Okay.”
She looks away, and I pull in a breath, look down at my phone, and start to type.
I just saw your messages. I overslept this morning and had to rush to meet my sisters and my mom for breakfast, AKA an interrogation session regarding you and our date last night. Somehow, in the last few minutes, I’ve ended up agreeing to go to the mall and maybe a movie. I should be home by five. I don’t know if you’ll be free this evening, but if you are, I wouldn’t hate seeing you.
I press Send before I can talk myself out of it then hold my breath when a bubble appears under my sent text.
Interrogation? Should I come rescue you? I’m not sure I can get away this evening, but if you feel like eating pizza and wings for dinner, you can join me and my boys in front of the TV at my place.
I read his text and breathe, “Holy cow.”
“What?” April asks.
I lift my eyes off my phone to look at my sister. “He said I could join him and his boys for pizza and wings tonight.”
“Awesome, are you going?”
“I don’t know.” I look back at my cell and type quickly.
Do you think that’s a good idea? Is it too soon for me to meet your boys?
My phone rings in my hand and his name flashes on the screen, making me feel elated and freaked. “I’ll be right back.” I don’t even lift my head, even though I feel everyone’s eyes on me. I slide out of the booth then step out of the restaurant, putting my phone to my ear. “Hey.”
“I want you to hear my voice when I say what I’m gonna say.”
“Okay.” I wrap my arm around my middle, not sure by his tone if I’m going to like what he has to say.
“You already know Mitchell.”
“I know, but that’s—”
“And,” he cuts me off before I can explain how me knowing Mitchell at school is completely different from me seeing his dad and going to his house. “I wouldn’t have you over if I didn’t know it was inevitable that you’d be spending time with my boys. I already wasted weeks trying to deny the way I feel and am pissed at myself that I lost time I could have spent getting to know you because I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” I whisper, feeling lightheaded by his words.
“Not anymore, which is why I’m not going to play this cool and see you when I see you, which, baby—” His tone softens. “—it wouldn’t be often. I work two jobs and have two boys. I don’t have a lot of free time to take you out, so if we’re going to do this, we need to jump in and figure it out along the way.”
“Three jobs,” I state.
“Pardon?”
“You work as a mechanic, a tattooist, and you’re a dad. So, really, you have three jobs,” I say, studying the sidewalk under my flats and wondering how he’s able to do everything he does. I have one job and myself to look after, and some days that seems like a lot of responsibility.
“I guess you’re right,” he agrees quietly then asks, “So what’s it gonna be Ember are you gonna run or jump?”
I think about every moment I’ve spent with him and all the things he’s made me feel since the we met, and ask, “What will you do if I run?”
“Chase.” The one word is spoken roughly, making me shiver and smile at the same time.
“I guess I don’t have a choice but to jump then.”
“I’m glad you’re seeing things my way.” He sounds like he’s trying not to laugh, and I hold myself a little tighter, not wanting to lose the feeling in my belly. “I already talked to the boys about you.”
“What?” I squawk.
“When I got home last night, they were up and wanted to know if I’d be seeing you again. I told them yes.” He told them yes! I want to dance around or do a cartwheel. “They were cool with it, so while I’m out with them today, I’ll let them know you’ll be over for pizza tonight.”
“Okay,” I say, sure that the happiness I’m feeling is leaking into my voice.
“I’ll order dinner around 5:30. Is there anything you want, hate, or are allergic to?”
I giggle. “I love food. All food.”
“Anchovies?”
“Would you be repulsed if I told you I love them?”
“Seriously?”
I smile. “My dad always got a can of them whenever we were going to order pizza. I always thought they were gross, but then one day curiosity got the better of me and I found out the salted fish add something unexpected to each bite. After that, I kind of fell in love.”
“Your taste buds are adventurous.”
“Yeah,” I agree, knowing that’s the only part of me that is adventurous. “The rest of me is kind of lame.” Why did I say that, even if I was thinking it?
“You’re perfect.”
“I—”
“Honey, breakfast is here.” I lift my eyes at the sound of my mom’s voice and find her standing in the open door to the restaurant. I nod then hold up one finger, letting her know I’ll be a minute.
“Go eat, baby,” Gareth says in my ear, having heard my mom as well. “I’ll see you this evening. Have fun with your family.”
“Have fun with your boys.”
“Always do,” he says then murmurs, “Later, Ember.”
“Later, Gareth,” I whisper then look around to make sure no one is watching and do a little dance in the middle of the sidewalk. When I get back to the table, I notice each of them are fighting laughter. “What?”
“Cute dance.” Mom grins and I groan. “We’re just glad you’re happy, honey.” She reaches across the table to grasp my hand and gives it a squeeze, saying “Now, let’s eat. We have a busy day ahead of us.” Without another word, we all dig into our food, and like always when I’m with my family, I spend the day with a smile on my face.
_______________
I pull into Gareth’s driveway more nervous than I was last night before our date. Even after talking to him before I left my apartment and his reassurance that the boys were okay with me joining them tonight, I still feel uncertain about his decision.
I take a deep breath as I park then lean over to grab my purse from the passenger seat, along with a shopping bag containing a gallon of ice cream and the store-bought cupcakes I picked up on my way here. If I hadn’t been out all day, I would have put more effort into winning over Gareth’s boys through their stomachs with my favorite chocolate cherry brownies. A recipe that calls for hunks of chocolate in the brownie mix and maraschino cherries and mini chocolate chips swirled into the vanilla icing. Unfortunately, there wasn’t time for me to bake or do anything more than change and feed Melbourne before I had to get back in my car to make it here for dinner.
With my hands shaking, I start to open my door then squeak when it’s suddenly tugged from the tips of my fingers. I look up at Gareth with wide eyes then sigh when he bends to brush his lips over mine, causing a little of the nervousness I’m feeling to melt away.
“Hey,” I greet when he leans back and smiles, taking my bags from me.
“You looked like you were about ready to bolt when I saw you pull in to park.”
“I was,” I admit, biting the inside of my cheek as his eyes scan mine.
“Did you forget I’d chase you?” he asks quietly, taking hold of my hip then using it to force me a step closer causing a small gasp to pass between my lips.
I lift my hands and place them against his warm chest to catch myself and feel his muscles bunch under his shirt, reminding me exactly how it felt last night to have his strength pressed against me. “No,” I say, and his eyes grow darker while his lips twist into a smirk. My toes curl and my heart pounds as his fingers dig into my skin through my light jacket and T-shirt.<
br />
“Fuck. I hate I can’t kiss you the way I want to with my boys watching us.”
Feeling like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on my head, I immediately withdraw my hands from his chest like it’s on fire and drop them to my sides. “They’re watching?” I whisper like they might be able to hear then try to step around him. When he blocks my way, I tip my chin back toward him. “We need to go in.”
“We will after you tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” I say instantly.
He shakes his head, not releasing the hold he has on me. If anything, his grip gets tighter as he dips his head toward mine. “Trust me.” Those two words wrap around my insides as he stares into my eyes, imploring me to believe that everything will be alright. “My boys are good with you being here. I just need you to be good with it.”
“He knows his boys better than you do.” My mom’s words from earlier today when I admitted my doubts about tonight fill my mind, and I know I need to trust him to know what’s best for his kids.
“A lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours,” I say, and he lifts his chin slightly in agreement but doesn’t comment. Resting one hand on his large bicep, I squeeze. “I trust you. If you say everything will be alright, then I believe you.”
I watch his expression gentle and the unease slide out of his features, but then lose the look when he bends to touch his lips to my forehead. “Come meet my boys.”
His breath warms my skin before he pulls away, and I force my eyes open then take his hand and walk at his side toward his front porch, noticing the blinds snap back into place as we head up the steps. My fingers flex around his and my step falters.
“Jump,” he whispers.
I fight against the fear making me want to run, and tighten my hold on his hand and whisper back, “Jump.” The moment the word passes my lips, he turns the handle, and as soon as the door opens, I know my life will never be the same.
Two smiling faces greet us as soon as we step into the house, and I notice both Gareth’s boys are already as handsome as he is.
Until December: Until Her/ Until Him Page 10