“And you’re funny, in your way.”
I close my eyes. “Is that the last compliment or the criticism?”
“Huh?”
Shaking my head, I open my eyes. “What, Jason? What are you getting at?”
Now he looks embarrassed. The expression slides off his face in a millisecond, his features hardening until he’s the man from the E-Z Cash, the man who punched Toby over a cell phone charger.
That’s the moment I realize I’ve been seeing another side of Jason. The real Jason. And I liked him, but now he’s gone.
“I prefer to be in charge,” he says. There’s nothing slow or unsure about him now, and my head is spinning as I try to understand what’s happening. He waits. The silence gnaws at my nerves.
“Do I need a safe word?” I joke.
“Yes.”
My eyes are probably bulging. “What?”
“Your safe word is… money.”
“No.”
“Then pick one you like.”
“No.” I cross my arms over my chest and pray he can’t somehow read my mind, can’t know that I’m curious about kink. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m not into that kind of stuff?”
His face is unreadable. “Have you tried it?”
“What do you think?” I ask sarcastically, hoping my tone will mislead him.
He shrugs, and I’m disappointed that it worked so easily. But then, he doesn’t know me—we don’t know each other. Which is one reason why I can’t step into the world of BDSM with Jason as my guide.
“I’m going to fuck you, DeeAnn. Hard.”
Say it again. My core pulses just from his words. I wonder if he can see the need written all over my face. “What if I don’t want you to?”
He shrugs, turns away. “Then I won’t.”
He’s going to take a shower, I realize. “Wait. Jason…”
He continues to the bathroom. At the door, he stops, turns back. “When I come out, I want you on the bed. On top of the sheets. That’s what I want. What I demand. But you can choose to end this now. It’s your decision, DeeAnn.”
The door closes softly behind him and the shower starts up.
My decision. What a joke. My desire for him has taken root on a molecular level. What decision can I make when I crave him more than food, than water?
I’ll have advance warning before he returns, but already I’m pulling off the comforter. I lie in the middle of the bed.
Should I strip?
I sit up, my fingers tugging at the bottom of my pajamas. Jason didn’t specify…
My clothes stay on.
I imagine Jason in the shower, his naked body wet, soap bubbles sliding down the ridges of his abs. My pussy aches. My hand dips low, cups over the ache, and that small amount of contact makes my muscles clench.
Jason’s shower probably only lasts a couple of minutes, but it feels like an hour. To my surprise, he’s dressed when he comes out of the bathroom.
I sit partially up, resting on my elbows, trying to keep my disappointment from showing.
“Flat on the bed.” His low growl makes my skin tingle.
Instinct is a strange thing. It pushes me to obey him, and at the same time it tells me not to let this dangerous criminal out of my sight.
But I lie down, my chin tilted so I can watch him approach.
He sits beside me. “I don’t have condoms.”
I have condoms, and I would tell him except his lips brush against mine. So soft and gentle, and then the bite of his teeth and now his tongue is exploring my mouth and I’m arching on the bed, my pussy dripping. My body craves him.
And this is how I learned that I have a thing for bad boys. Except I don’t know if it’s bad boys, or if it’s only Jason. I didn’t crave him like this until I glimpsed under the armor, saw the softer side of him. Softer being a relative term, of course.
He begins to straighten, and I strain up, trying to keep him from leaving. He presses me down again. My lips throb from his kiss.
“They must sell condoms in the lobby, or there’s a vending machine,” he says.
“I’ve got some. In the gold duffel bag.” I look away.
“Should I be offended that you assumed I’d be down to…” He trails off, not finishing the joke as he realizes why I have them.
The silence that follows is awful.
He’s surely thinking about me fucking Toby, about me fucking men for money. For the first time, I’m embarrassed about that. I don’t want to be, don’t think I have anything to be ashamed of. Really, I don’t. The thoughts retreat but leave drips of toxic sludge that congeal along my spine and eat away at my confidence.
“That’s my girl,” Jason says finally. “You came prepared. Now that I know you, I should have expected nothing less.”
I want to protest that I don’t need his approval, but it’s not entirely true. I think I did need something to help me draw a line between the present, scary and full of possibility, and the life I was heading toward, scary and hopeless. Jason is the only one who knows my secret, so he’s the only one who can help me close that chapter, put it behind me.
He kisses me again, bringing the world to right. He crumples my pajama top up over my breasts. My skin tightens into goosebumps, and my nipples harden.
Jason presses a finger into my mouth, and I suck enthusiastically as he stares down at my naked chest. He might be unreadable some of the time, but I know exactly what he’s thinking now. So I know he’s going to put his mouth on me, yet I still gasp when he catches my nipple between his teeth.
He flicks his tongue over the stiffened flesh, which makes me moan, and his teeth bite at the same time, which makes me whimper and tremble.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Everything is white emptiness, like a valley filled with the softest feathers and I’m falling into it. My hips pulse as the craving for Jason becomes unbearable, and I’m stammering something, begging.
The pain. The exhilaration.
This. I love this. Until he stops licking and then slowly pulls away while holding my nipple hostage between his teeth. Dark pleasure I never could have imagined makes me hiss, and my eyes fly open.
Jason’s mouth on me is the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. His broad shoulders are flexed because he’s leaning on his arms. He’s all dark, wavy hair and thick muscles and stubble, and when his eyes lift to meet mine, the intent focus there shatters the last of my shyness.
He can have my body. That was clear. But now I want him to have more. To have everything, which is silly…
Need to get my head on straight. Later. After a few orgasms, because now his hand is sliding under the waistband of my pajama bottoms.
He releases my nipple. For a moment, the pain increases, and warmth rushes in, soothing everything.
“No underwear. Interesting.” Jason rakes his teeth along my neck.
I’m beyond words as his fingers draw sensual curlicues over my lower abdomen. I’m soaked, and it’s just a matter of time before he notices.
Is he hard?
“Funny, isn’t it,” he murmurs into my ear. One finger begins to circle my clit while two others trace a slow path lower until they’re filling my spasming entrance.
Jason stops moving, and I emerge from the trance. “What’s funny?” I manage to ask.
He kisses my neck, flicks his fingertips against my nipple, making me squirm on the thin, rough sheets.
“Funny how you trust me with the money, and trust me with your life…” His third finger abandons my clit, and suddenly my pussy is being stretched full.
I gasp. The world turns white, and blood thunders in my ears.
“… But you get so weird around safe words. You’re an enigma, DeeAnn.”
My name on his lips sends me into a million pieces. I cry out only to discover his mouth covering mine, his tongue caressing and stroking and then his teeth bite my lips, my tongue, tiny points of pain that send me soaring.
The first orgasm is barely over b
efore he brings me to the brink again.
I’m lost.
It’s the only coherent thought that can take root in my undone mind, and it repeats over and over. I’m lost. I’m lost. I’m lost.
Finally, Jason gives my body back to me. My skin burns, my pajamas are soaked with sweat, and strands of damp hair cling to my cheeks. Inside, I’m filled with a pleasant warmth that I know will disappear once I’m thinking clearly again about…
About who Jason is. Ah, there it is. The warmth is gone, and I want it back.
I grab at the button of his jeans. “Smash time.”
Jason catches my wrist and effortlessly pins my arm over my head. “Look at me.”
I do, and I immediately sink into the depths of his eyes. This guy just made me come, just forced me to make those wild noises. He knows my O-face.
“We’re not into the same things,” he says.
Now I’m outraged, and I struggle, trying to sit up. It’s impossible with one arm over my head, and Jason’s muscles aren’t just for show.
“You don’t want to have sex?”
“Never said that.” His gaze wanders down to my mouth. “I want you, DeeAnn. You’re beautiful—”
“And funny in my own way,” I say. “I remember.”
His sudden smile seems to catch him off guard, and I realize he actually meant that as a compliment earlier. Then the smile disappears, locked away wherever he hides the genuine parts of himself.
“But I like to be in charge.”
“Can you let go of my arm? I can’t think straight like this.”
Jason removes his hand, and I sit up, tugging my pajamas down over my breasts.
“Disappointing,” he says mildly.
“Says the guy who hasn’t taken off anything.”
“I didn’t know you cared.”
I start to tell him I don’t actually care, that I’m just making a point, but then he pulls his shirt over his head and… Oh. My. God.
Muscles for days. Seeing them up close isn’t the same as subtly ogling from across a dingy motel room when I was almost hallucinating from lack of sleep. I never understood when men’s bodies were described as “sculpted” or “chiseled” but now I totally get it. Jason’s torso looks like a gifted artist carved it from granite.
I want to touch, to run my fingers over his tattoos, to feel the spikes on the thorny roses and caress the lion’s mane. Heaven help me, I’m willing to compromise on the spanking thing.
“I don’t care,” I say, trying to recover.
Jason smiles patiently. “Glad we established that.”
“Yes.” Brilliant comeback. But how can I defend myself when seeing him shirtless rendered me temporarily speechless?
“What are you going to lecture me about now?”
“Lecture you?” I ask, and for a moment I actually forget how goddamn hot he is. “When have I ever… I mean, except the whole stealing things from innocent people?”
If he smirks, I think I might strangle him. Luckily for us both, he merely holds his hands up in mock surrender, which makes the muscles across his chest and arms ripple, and my brain shorts out again.
“I apologize for assuming. What was on your mind?”
Good question. My self-respect makes a belated appearance.
“You can’t get it up if the girl isn’t restrained?” I ask.
Jason’s deep laugh fills the room. “Are you trying to insult me by attacking my masculinity? Not cool, DeeAnn.”
“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean…”
“You owe me an apology.” He’s not laughing now. He looks pissed, and even though I know he must be faking it, I rush to put things right.
“Yes, of course. I know. I’m sorry—”
“Ah, forget it.” He smirks. “I shouldn’t tease you, but you’re such an easy target.”
“The bully mantra. I’m not surprised. You know what would end this squabble?” After a beat, I answer my own question. “A big cock shoved into my mouth.”
Jason’s eyebrows shoot up. “You want to watch yourself.” His words are calm and measured, and his deep voice rumbles over my skin.
“I could give BDSM a try,” I say with a shrug. “Since you can’t perform otherwise—”
The air rushes out of my chest as Jason drops me onto my back and lifts both my arms over my head. He easily pins my wrists with one large hand.
“Safe word?” he asks.
“Anything but money. How about eggplant?”
“Eggplant?”
“What? You’ve never used an eggplant in the bedroom? Unbelievable.”
“Eggplant it is,” he says. “You probably won’t need it. I’ll take it easy on you.” A demonic light shines in his eyes. “Because it’s your first time.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You don’t,” I insist, even though he’s completely right.
He silences me with a burning kiss and drapes his heavy body over mine so that my torso and legs are as trapped as my arms. My first instinct is to panic because I can’t move.
But it passes almost immediately, leaving a simmering nervousness in its wake that will probably last for hours.
Jason is scary, and I’m afraid of him, but I don’t think he’s going to hurt me.
Not tonight, at least.
Chapter 26
“Relax,” Jason murmurs into my ear. “You’re safe with me.”
Safe. The thought leaves me breathless. I’ve been scared since leaving home yesterday morning. No. Longer than that. Months. Maybe years, because I’ve always known that one day I would be alone in the world.
Right now, I don’t feel alone.
“I’m right here. I’ll take care of you, DeeAnn.”
I close my eyes and soak up his words. He doesn’t mean forever, and I won’t be greedy.
This, the seduction, surprises me.
Needing to shift away from what’s happening in my chest, I open my eyes.
Jason is staring at me, and heaven only knows what he’s seeing. Instantly, I go rigid.
“You don’t have to be scared,” he says.
“But I’m not scared. At all.” My throat is tight, and my unconvincing protest comes out shrill. Nervousness doesn’t explain why I sound defensive, though.
Jason tilts his head, curious. “Do you believe that? Or are you lying to me?”
If he’s not annoyed with me yet, he probably will be soon. I’m no better than a fumbling virgin. Even if we were having vanilla sex, I’d be nervous and awkward. I wish I could channel the version of myself who hit on him in the car. Wantonness is easier at seventy mph down the highway.
“It’s—”
“Those were rhetorical questions. You’re all wound up. I should have known.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing bad. You’re intense, that’s all.” He makes it sound like a good thing.
He trails slow kisses from my ear down to my collarbone, then along the base of my neck. “Can’t go any lower while holding you down.” He inhales, then on an exhale that tickles my skin, he says, “I like the way you smell.”
My mind spins. Shouldn’t he be insulting me or something? Instead, I’m getting compliments… and it sounds like he wants to go down on me.
Jason’s lips brush against mine, and I startle, tense up.
“DeeAnn.” Jason rolls to the side. His weight off my body leaves me feeling vulnerable in a completely different way. “You gotta relax.”
“Sorry.” I would pull myself up but then I’d have to look at him, and it’s easier to stare at the anonymous hotel room ceiling.
“Let’s talk for a bit.”
My gaze snaps to his in confusion.
“You’re good at talking,” Jason says. “And while you talk, I want you to rub my cock through my jeans.”
I start to snort-laugh but manage to cut it off. Very uncool. “If talking and giving hand jobs is kink, then I mastered tha
t back in high school.”
“Good. No reason to be nervous.”
There’s no point in saying I’m not nervous. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Let’s get the handy started first.” He grabs my wrist—why were my arms still over my head when he wasn’t holding me down anymore?—and presses my hand onto the long, thick bulge in his jeans.
Yup, Jason is hung. Getting to fuck someone who looks like Jason is maybe worth running from the bad guys?
The idea is so ridiculous that I laugh. The coil of anxiety loosens.
“That’s exactly the reaction a man hopes for when a woman sees or touches his cock.” He smiles yet sounds so confused that I laugh even harder.
Suddenly, I can’t control myself and I’m curling up on my side, shaking, gasping for breath. Tears leak from my eyes.
Jason growls, and I find myself on my back again. He slides one of his legs over mine.
“Care to explain?” he asks in a low grumble.
If I knew him really well, I’d probably end up laughing even harder, but he’s been so patient and I don’t want to offend him.
“Sorry,” I say. “Flashbacks of my ninth-grade boyfriend. Doing this when we were supposedly watching movies. I feel like I should be keeping an ear out for his stepmom coming down the hall.”
“Hm,” Jason says. “You were given a task. Why isn’t your hand moving?”
“Sorry.”
“It’s hot when you blush and apologize.”
We both fall quiet. I concentrate, slowly rubbing my hand over his impressive bulge. Fantasies of Jason’s cock consume me. I bet the skin is so soft. I want to gently drag my mouth along the underside, kissing and licking where the tip connects to the shaft.
That’s not all I want to do…
“What did you want to talk about?” I ask.
“Anything.”
“What’s it like in prison?”
Jason groans. “And you were going to be a hooker? The goal is to pleasure the erections away, not scare them into hiding.”
My fingers tighten momentarily, and I wonder how much he can feel through the denim. “Are you saying you’re not hard right now?”
Brightest As We Fall Page 17