Gingerly, I wrap my arms around her. She sits still for a moment, tension hard in her muscles until she relaxes against me.
It feels strange. I should be the one finding comfort in my mother's arms. I rest my cheek against the top of her head.
"I don't hate you."
When she hears me, it's like the strings are cut. She goes limp, then throws her arms around my waist and begins to weep. It was all there, all this time, I realize. She took all her feelings and desires and impulses and stuffed them away somewhere deep down, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until they turned into a hard stone ball somewhere deep within her, and now it's cracking open and all pouring out. She whimpers half-coherent apologies into my shoulder as she weeps, stroking my back with a tenderness I never imagined she had.
"I'm so sorry."
"I know."
"I can't fix what I've done overnight, can I?"
"No. You're my mother and I love you, but I…." I pause. What do I say? "I don't really like you."
She whimpers softly for a while.
"Could that change?"
I think about that for a time, then hug her a little tighter.
"Yes. Maybe."
"The truth is, I want to abdicate. Now. I want you to take over. I don't want to be queen anymore. That isn't fair to you, though, is it?"
"I need to finish my education." I sigh.
She sits up and looks at me warmly.
"You will be a better queen than I was." She wrings her hands. "Do you think you'll marry him?"
"Am I allowed? He has no noble blood."
"I could issue a decree. Change the rules."
"Could you?"
"I'm the queen. I can do whatever I want."
I eye her.
She cracks a thin, hesitant smile. "Right?"
I shrug.
"Will you wait while I dress? I'd like to meet your boy."
"His name is Jason."
"Yes. Ah. Jason. I'd like to meet him."
"I'll wait."
She gets up and stands to her full height. I doubt my mother will ever stoop. Her back is straight as an arrow. When she walks I can visualize her balancing a book on the top of her head.
I wait while she steps into her changing room and emerges clean, her face cleansed of the runny makeup. She never wore much and now she looks the same as ever, but there is something different in her eyes. She looks broken, in a way, but relieved, like she's been carrying something for years and years and finally just up and dropped it.
Mother gives me a questioning look, holding a dress in her hands. Without a word I stand up and step behind her, help her pull it on, then lace it up the back for her. She wears her hair loose to her waist, and it unnerves me to see it. She looks so much like me that I could be gazing into a mirror. I've never seen her wear her hair down; she always wore it in a bun or a braid.
We both look at the crown resting on a tufted velvet pillow near the bed. She reaches for it but pulls her hand back, like she remembers at the last moment that a stove is hot. Then she walks out of the room and leaves it behind.
I catch up to her in the hall. Thorlief is waiting outside. She touches his arm with her hands.
"Come with us."
At the foot of the stairs, Jason is waiting. Mother walks up to him, and he awkwardly bows before she stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
"We will need to teach you to do that properly at some point," she sighs.
"So, um, Your Majesty?" he says.
"My name is Karen. Call me that."
"Karen. Uh, hi. I'm dating your daughter."
Her eyes narrow. "Against my wishes."
"Mother," I groan.
Jason scratches at his head. "Well, about that, ah…."
"Thank you. She needed it. I must tell you something."
"Yes?"
Mother points to Thorlief.
"If you hurt her I'm going to have him kill you. Violently."
Jason nods. "Uh, right."
Mother then takes his arm. "Let's have tea, but first we have an announcement to make."
She leads us through the castle, to the throne room where all the ministers of state have gathered to hear her decree.
A chill shocks my body, like I've been thrown into the ocean in the heart of winter. I turn slowly, clutching Jason's hand to keep me from sinking into the freezing sea.
Mother stands straight as an arrow.
Her eyes are stern and hard.
"As your queen, I formally announce my abdication from the throne. I will surrender my crown and titles to my daughter at such time as she completes her education in America." She swallows, hard. "Further, I am issuing a royal decree. The prince or princess may choose their consort as they will, without regard to birth, station, status, or nationality."
My mother sobs.
"I'm sorry Ana," she chokes out, "I didn't mean it."
I raise my hands to Jason's cheeks. "Can you give me a minute alone with her?"
He nods. "Take all the time you need, honey. I'm probably off the team now."
I rise up and kiss his cheek.
Jason does what I never thought he would. He bows to me before he steps out, never once turning his back. My brother must have told him about that.
Suddenly I am alone in the throne room with Mother and Thorlief.
He starts to leave, and she catches his wrist.
"Stay," she says. "Ana." Her voice is thick with emotion.
"Why now?" I ask her. "After all this, why now?"
"I saw the look on your face when he entered the room. Your boy."
"His name is Jason, and he's not 'my boy.' He'll be your son-in-law."
She swallows hard. Her throat bobs.
"I saw the look on his face. It was like… it was like…." she trails off. "I'd forgotten what it looked like."
Her eyes fall on Thorlief, then rip away.
"I forgot what it felt like. It all came rushing back to me. No. No I can't take that away from you. I need you, Ana. I need you to succeed me and rule our people."
"I've heard that my entire life. I don't want to hear about you dying anymore, Mother."
"I know, my child. That is why I must give up the throne. I would wish to see you come into your own as queen. The crown will suit you better than it ever did me. You will have your… your husband with your by your side as I never did. You will be a better queen than I could ever be, Ana. Never before today have you been so regal as you are now."
I pull my tiara down and strip my veil off, and walk up to meet her. I throw my arms around my mother and hug her hard.
"Will you ever forgive me?" she whispers.
"I will try," I tell her. "You have much to beg my forgiveness for, Mother. Perhaps you will be a better grandmother than you were a mother to me."
She blinks. "What? Are you—?"
"I don't know," I say with a smirk, touching my stomach. "It was only the one time, but if I am not soon, it will not be for lack of trying."
Thorlief growls.
I rise on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek, and take his hands.
"Thank you for being more of a father to me than I deserved."
He nods, and I see something I never imagined could even happen. Thorlief sheds a tear.
Mother looks at him with a knowing smile.
"How is it you never told me?"
"You are my queen. It is not my place."
"Your place is where I say it is. Right now I say it is in my bedroom. I have had a, what do they Americans call it?"
She looks at me.
"A loooong dry spell."
As they leave, I am left alone in the Great Hall. I walk up to the throne, but I do not sit on it. It is not time.
I have homework to do.
I sprint out of the throne room. Jason catches me and twirls me in the air, and raises me in his arms.
"Put me down," I command him.
He lowers my feet to the floor.
"Let's
go home. We have to turn in our assignments."
Jason
Okay, so, ah, we're heading back to America.
We should be landing in an hour or so. Thanks to the time difference, it will be the dead of night when we land. Ana is fast asleep, her head pillowed on my shoulder. She's wearing her hair down now, and it spills across my chest like glacial melt.
She looks so sweet and innocent when she's asleep, like an angel. Both of her arms wrap around mine, and I can feel the soft rhythm of her breath against me. Nothing makes me feel more content.
I could stand to sleep myself, but then I'd miss out on watching her. As the plane starts to turn, she stirs in her sleep, licks her lips, and buries her face in my arm, as if somewhere deep down she knows she has to wake up soon and she's fighting it.
The plane jumps a little and the pilot makes the announcement. She slits up slowly, blinking and yawning, and as soon as her mouth closes, I dart in and kiss her on the lips.
"What was that for?"
"Because I wanted to."
I lean back in my seat and crush my fear of flying with a mental fist. I can't let myself look weak in front of her.
Ana takes my hand, or rather, she slips her delicate fingers through mine. I squeeze without thinking, and she squeezes back.
When our eyes meet no words are exchanged. She just smiles, and I start to tremble. She squeezes my hand in both of hers, and I press my eyes shut.
No, I can be afraid in front of her. I don't have to hide anything.
After the landing, as the plane taxies into position to let us off, Ana goes back to leaning on my shoulder. We sit there while everyone else climbs off. Queen Karen was kind enough to charter busses for us to ride back to campus.
Ana and I go last. When we get on the bus, I feel every eye on us as we walk to the back and drop down into the rearmost seat.
She clings to me for the entire ride.
When we get back to campus and the bus lets us off, we're the last to leave.
"All of my things are gone," she sighs.
"Doesn't matter. You're staying with me."
Thorlief stayed behind, and her other guard, Bjorn was his name, isn't coming anywhere near her again. She has two new ones now, Ragnar and Sven.
No, really.
They carry her suitcases as we walk back to the house. My house that I share with the Thunder Brothers. After her things are deposited in the living room, the two guards sit on the couch. I'm not sure where we're going to put them.
"Go get settled in," I tell Ana with a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going out."
"Aren't you tired?"
She tugs on my belt, trying to take me upstairs.
I don't think sleep is on her mind.
I grasp her wrist and gingerly pull her hand away. The look in her eyes could melt steel, and her half-embarrassed, half-aroused little smirk makes me start to stiffen, but I have something I have to do first.
"I'll be right back. I promise."
"Hurry up. That is a royal command."
I nod and slip out of her arms. Truth is, I'm exhausted, but she gives me an energy that seems to be without limit. Once I'm outside I run out to the Cadillac and borrow her, drive across town, and pull through the Burger King drive-through.
I return only ten minutes later carrying a bag containing two double Whoppers with cheese, a large order of French fries, and two chocolate milkshakes.
Oh, and a pair of paper crowns.
Ana smells the damn food and slips down to the kitchen. She's put her hair into a loose ponytail that swings behind her when she moves, and hungrily snatches one of the burgers to begin devouring it. I lock together the ends of her new paper crown and stand behind her to settle it on her head. I tuck her hair just so to keep it in place.
She eyes me as I sit down and put mine on, and we eat in silence.
"I owe you an apology," she says.
"Why?"
"There was a time when I believed you'd been unfaithful to me."
I sigh loudly.
"No, I owe you an apology. I should have told you Grandolf came on to me."
She nods. "We can forgive each other."
I rest my hand on hers. Her skin is so warm.
"Yes. We can."
I make no secret of being hungry as hell. I finish my burger in record time, but Ana still beats me and burps loudly in between deep pulls on her milkshake. She grins sheepishly at me, and she's so fucking cute I just want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her upstairs.
So, after shoving the remains of the meal into the garbage can, that is exactly what I do. She yelps and playfully smacks my back with her little fists as I lift her up into a fireman's carry and bear her upstairs.
I drop her on my bed, and she bounces a little, her smiling lips trembling with anticipation. I shove the door shut, lock it, and by the time I've turned around, Ana has wriggled out of everything but her underwear… and her paper crown.
After halfway ripping my own clothes off, I dive onto the bed and into her. She wraps her legs around me and our lips meet in a storm of passion, her hand slipping and scratching everywhere like she wants to touch every part of my body at once.
I know the feeling. Every part of her is magical. Her lush, heavy breasts, the soft skin on her sides, her full ass. I squeeze her butt in my hands and she gasps and bucks against me, her stomach sliding against mine. She peels her underwear off and gets on top of me, and sits on my stomach, straddling me. Her silken thighs grip my sides, and she pulls the scrunchie out of her hair so it falls down her back in an icy cascade. It's like silk when I lightly grasp her head and pull her down to kiss me again.
Feeling her warm, soft body on top of me makes me want to explode with lust. Just seeing her in her skivvies again made me hard; now I feel like there's a hot iron bar swinging between my legs.
Ana is ravenous. She kisses me like she never has before, and her hands roam everywhere. She licks and bites my neck, and her hands won't leave my cock. I have to grab her wrists and pull her hands away. I need every ounce of self-control I have.
She's nimble and slippery. Ana wriggles loose from my grip and slips down my body, dragging her soft skin and breasts over my stomach. I groan as she squeezes her breasts between arms and my cock slips between them, and then she takes me in her mouth and I go rigid, pure instinct driving me to thrust into her mouth.
God, when she looks up at me with her pink lips wrapped around my cock, the corners of her mouth twisted up into a little smile, I can barely take it. She sucks my dick like she means it, and uses her hands. It's too intense, and I push on her shoulder, trying to slow her down, but she wraps an arm around my waist and her legs around mine and uses her mouth and hand and pushes me to the edge.
"I'm gonna—"
My cock leaves her mouth with an audible little pop.
"Good."
She goes right back to it, and delivers on her promise. My whole body from my shoulders to my heels lifts from the bed as the pleasure rips through me. It feels so fucking good it hurts as I explode in her mouth. I look down and flush with excitement and pleasure as I watch her throat bob as she fucking swallows it, then takes me to the root. I can feel her damn lips at the root of my cock, and the tip of her tongue pushes into my balls.
Ana sits up all in one motion and licks her lips, then swipes her mouth with the back of her hand.
I lie there stunned for a moment.
"I am going to—" I gasp "—I am going to…." I take a deep breath. "I am going to eat your pussy until you beg for mercy."
"You have to catch me first," she says and springs from the bed.
I dart up and grab her by the arms and yank her back down on top of me, faceup. She wriggles and squirms and tries to pull loose, laughing and giggling all the while, at least until she moves just the right way and presses my still-hard cock against my stomach with her ass.
My shaft lies between her cheeks, and she slowly grinds on it, a wicked look on her face.
The look on her face when I knot my hand in her hair and pull her head back to expose her throat sends a shockwave of desire through my body. She arches her back, and I feel her pulse under my lips as I kiss and nibble her soft skin. Her nails rake my back and she tries to push me down by the shoulders.
"You like it when I take charge, Princess?"
"Please do it, Jason. I want it."
"Do what?"
"The thing…."
"Say it. Or I won't. I'll just lay here and do this."
I roll my hips and rub my cock against her stomach.
She shivers.
"Go down on me. Eat my pussy. Please."
"That's better."
I lie on her and hold her down with my weight, moving slowly, licking along her collarbone. I can't wait to taste her breasts, to feel her nipples stiffen in my lips. I grasp her upper arms in my hands so she can't wriggle loose, and try to push my head down between her legs. I'll do it when I'm good and ready, and when she's good and ready.
She mumbles a soft plea, and I take my time anyway. Ana spreads her legs as I slide down her body, and my mouth finds the soft curves of her breasts, avoiding her nipples. They tighten with need, nice and hard, like she's aching for me.
God, I want to bury my face in her mound as much as she wants it. I let go of her arms and she immediately tries to push me down, both palms on my head, but I'm too strong for her. I can feel the hot flush in her stomach, the excitement as I grow closer. She gasps and writhes when I finally suck her nipples, cupping her breasts together in my hands while I explore her skin with my tongue.
At last I relent and kiss down her stomach. When I reach her sex, she throws her legs open wide and spreads out on the bed, a contented and excited look on her gorgeous face as her stomach tightens and her mound rises to meet me. The soft, honey-colored hair on her mound tickles my chin before I taste her.
She whimpers and coils up, her legs snapping around me as I push my tongue into her body. She's already so hot that I can feel how close she is to the edge, so I go slowly, moving my tongue in long, hard strokes, pressing at her entrance, avoiding her throbbing clit. When I touch it just a little with the tip of my tongue, she jerks so hard it shakes the bed, and her heels dig into the mattress.
BENCHED Page 45