A Blessing for Miriam

by Jerry S. Eicher

  No time to think of that now, though. Ivan looked both ways before he let the reins out, and Billy plunged forward again. His hoofbeats on the road soon settled into a steady rhythm, and Ivan let his thoughts drift again. Laura was excited about one thing this week. Another letter had arrived from her sister Esther in Oklahoma. Esther had returned to the Oklahoma Amish community to care for the Swartz family’s ailing grandmother, Mabel.

  Laura had wanted to read him the whole letter, but Ivan had waved his hand for silence once enough of the details emerged. Esther had resumed her interest in a young man in the community and felt she was close to a conquest of his attentions. The young man’s name was Wayne Yutzy, a handsome fellow by Esther’s account. They would soon date, Esther was certain. Laura had giggled as she reread that portion of the letter.

  Esther was capable of plenty of charm, that was for sure, Ivan thought. She easily matched her sister in beauty and charm. The two had their pick of any of the unmarried Amish men in Possum Valley they set their hearts on. Esther was the eldest, but she’d not accepted a date since the family had moved back to Ohio from Oklahoma. Apparently this Wayne situation explained why. Esther had left her heart in the West—no doubt with this Wayne fellow.

  Laura had chosen Ivan out of all the Amish districts’ eligible men. This was a great honor, and one he was grateful for. Laura was a catch, there was no question about that. He adored her many virtues more each day. Now that she was with child, his affections for her increased. Why else would he be on this inconvenient trip into town this late in the day? For Laura’s comfort, of course. Still, there were chores that awaited him at home.

  Ivan glanced behind him as another thought niggled at his brain. Why was Laura so interested in her sister’s conquest in Oklahoma? There was the sister thing of course, but he was sure it went deeper than that. Perhaps all the way back to why Laura had chosen him in the first place. He’d never have dared to ask her home after a Sunday evening hymn singing if Laura hadn’t made it abundantly clear with bright smiles that she was interested in him.

  And that was after he’d had his heart set on Miriam Yoder for several years. The attention he’d paid to Miriam had been no secret in the community, he was sure. In retrospect, it seemed like Laura had liked the challenge of pitting her charm against that of another girl. Miriam hadn’t stood a chance, even with her deeper character and personal maturity.

  He had nothing to be ashamed of, Ivan told himself. He’d married the woman he’d wanted. Yah, there had been the kafuffle over the farm Miriam had inherited from that Englisha man. Ivan had attempted to resume a relationship with Miriam after he’d found out. Miriam believed his affections were tainted by her farm ownership, which hadn’t been entirely untrue. Sure, he’d thought about what a farm, free and clear of debt, could do for him, but in the end he’d put all that aside.

  His main mistake had been dating Laura while he spoke of love with Miriam. That had been the height of foolishness. Laura could easily have dumped him when she found out, and she would have been in the right. Instead, Laura had risen to the challenge and closed the deal with him rather quickly.

  Ivan winced when he considered that Laura must know this Wayne fellow was now dating Miriam. She had to know. Such things weren’t secret in the Ohio and Oklahoma Amish communities because of their strong ties to each other. For one thing, he knew about it, and it seemed like most folks in his community knew. Sure, he was aware partly because he still had some interest in Miriam’s whereabouts. Such was usually the case with former sweethearts, wasn’t it? They lingered in a man’s mind. But if he was honest, Miriam outranked both of the Swartz girls in character. In looks—now that was another matter.

  Esther followed in her sister Laura’s footsteps, Ivan told himself. When she set her cap for a fellow, she would land him for sure. Ivan didn’t like that—the idea that Miriam might lose out again to a Schwartz. But what could he do about it? Should he order Laura to tell Esther to back off? Laura wouldn’t listen. She enjoyed conquest too much. And who said Esther would listen even if Laura passed on the message? Any explanation of the wrongness of what Esther was doing would bring up questions about his involvement with Miriam and Laura’s actions during their courtship. She’d used kisses and other female wiles to win his heart, even knowing he had strong feelings for someone else.

  Ivan glanced over his shoulder at the cars lining up behind him. He pulled aside again. No, he wouldn’t broach that subject with Laura. Not in a hundred years.

  Ivan waited, his gaze on the cars as they drove past. Billy didn’t paw the ground this time. That last hill must have taken some of the fire out of him. Moments later all the cars had passed, so Ivan continued on. He had best leave the subject of Esther alone. There were too many angles he didn’t wish to explore. What if Laura should ask him if he had regrets that he wasn’t the possessor of Miriam Yoder’s farm? Miriam’s daett, Eli, currently tended the place for her. The word in the community was that Eli now owned the place but had promised to return it to Miriam once she married. Ivan frowned. The farm could have been his place now instead of the rental where he lived with Laura. No, he wouldn’t be able to lie if Laura asked him. Even a moment’s hesitation on his part would send her into hysterics. Why Laura couldn’t believe she’d won his heart fair and square or that he considered the wedding vows unbreakable was beyond him.

  Ivan cheered up as a new thought crossed his mind. Perhaps Laura and Esther were both wrong. This Wayne man might be impervious to Esther’s charms. Ivan stared over the darkened fields of Possum Valley, and his brow knitted. It was true that marriage wasn’t marriage until the vows were said, but Miriam had dated this Wayne fellow for some time now. Shouldn’t that carry some weight? It would serve Esther right to lose out to Miriam.

  Ivan sighed as the headlights of another car broke over the hill ahead of him. He needed to get home. Hopefully Laura had the letter out of sight when he returned so they could talk of something else. If not, he’d steer the conversation to safer ground. Laura didn’t need any enlightenment on how he felt. And she wouldn’t ask if he kept his mouth shut about Esther’s devious plans.

  A car raced past, shaking the buggy. Obviously a guy in a hurry. It sure looked to Ivan like it was Jonas Beachy’s fancy convertible. Jonas was his boss’s son, although in reality Jonas was his boss at the furniture shop. Raymond Beachy rarely showed his face around there anymore. Jonas must be headed out to Berlin…or Wooster, more likely. The boy had plenty of money and could go where he wished, unlike Ivan. He pushed the bitter thought away. He had Laura’s love and beauty to comfort him and that was enough. A man couldn’t have everything. Still his gaze lingered on the fancy convertible.

  Ivan stiffened as the car’s taillights suddenly blossomed and the vehicle braked hard. He heard the screech of tires skidding on pavement as a thunderous thump boomed through the air. The headlights, now on high beams, pointed off the road and illuminated a herd of deer near the brow of a knoll.

  His heart racing, Ivan sped up Billy. Jonas might need assistance—and quickly. The boy had been going pretty fast. When Ivan was within a dozen feet of the crash site, he pulled off the road and onto the shoulder. His flashing lights normally served their purpose well, but they seemed inadequate now. They’d have to do until the police arrived. Already another vehicle ahead had pulled to the side with flashers blinking. Ivan saw the driver pull out his cell and assumed he was calling 911. Help would be on its way.

  Quickly climbing out of the buggy, Ivan hurried toward the convertible. A huge deer lay partially in the road obviously in the throes of death. Approaching the convertible on the driver’s side, Ivan breathed a sigh of relief to see Jonas appeared unscathed. He already had his car door open and was leaning in to help a woman who occupied the passenger seat.

  “May I help?” Ivan asked as he stared into the convertible. Both air bags had deployed, and there was blood on the seat and on Jonas’s shirt.

  Jonas’s face showed surprise when
he looked up. “Ivan! Has anyone called 911? Shirley’s hurt!”

  Ivan held up his hands. “I’ll check to be sure someone has.” He looked for cross traffic before he dashed across the road to the nearest parked vehicle. They were lined up in both directions now as everyone wondered what had happened and whether help was needed.

  Ivan stopped at the first car’s window. “Did you call 911?” he asked.

  A woman answered anxiously, “Yes, sir. Help is on the way. Is anyone hurt?”

  Ivan nodded and thanked her for calling for help. When he returned to the convertible, a man and a few women had gathered around it. Already sirens blared from the direction of Berlin. Ivan hung back as a blanket was thrown over the shoulders of the injured woman and cloths were put against the deepest gashes. She was bleeding severely from wounds on her head and shoulders. Jonas had said her name was Shirley. Could it be Shirley Yoder, Miriam’s sister? Ivan shuddered at the thought. He’d heard that Jonas had gone out with Shirley a few times.

  Ivan retreated as an ambulance pulled up. He’d best get out of here before he was blocked in. Jonas and his passenger were now in capable hands. Ivan could do nothing more for them. He climbed into the buggy and guided Billy off the road shoulder, moving slowly until he was clear of the ambulance and the police cars that had arrived. Already a man in uniform was directing traffic around the accident.

  Ivan was back on the road, still shaken by the accident and considering if the passenger was Miriam’s sister. It was well known that Shirley was on her rumspringa. Ivan knew Eli Yoder wouldn’t take it well if his daughter had taken up with the likes of Jonas Beachy.

  Chapter Eight

  Shirley clung to the side of the gurney as the ambulance sped through the night. She tried to move her head to glance at the attendant on one side of her, but she couldn’t.

  “Hold still, dear,” a voice ordered above the chatter of a radio.

  The pain from her head and face seemed to burn through her whole body. Shirley whimpered as the memory of the accident replayed in her mind. The line of deer seemed to appear suddenly on the road ahead of them. The next scene she remembered was a glimpse of brown coming over the hood and then a sudden explosion of white hitting her in the face, followed by a swerving motion she figured was Jonas slamming on the brakes and steering sideways. She vaguely remembered something hitting her head and face over and over, but she was so dazed that she wasn’t sure what had happened.

  Shirley groaned. Why had this happened? Was this the Lord’s punishment on her? Shirley tried to move her hand up to her head, but it wouldn’t move.

  A voice gently said, “No, ma’am. Don’t move. You’ve been in an accident and are hurt.”

  Shirley already realized that, but how bad was she? She wanted to ask, but no words would come. Was she all right? She shivered as pain overwhelmed her again. She remembered seeing blood around her, and the truth crept in. Her head must be injured badly. The more she thought about, the surer she was. There had been a lot of blood. And her face hurt. Much more than superficial cuts and bruises would. She tried to shift on the gurney.

  “Hold still, dear,” the voice ordered again. “I’ve given you something to dull the pain and help you relax. You’re in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”

  Shirley tightened her fingers on the thin rail and allowed her mind to drift. A numbing haze seemed to be wafting around her. She felt the pain ease, but the the calm was punctured with another question. Have Mamm and Daett heard about the accident yet? Daett already had strong objections to her relationship with Jonas. Now he would have a lot to say when he learned she was in the hospital. And this ride in the ambulance would have to be paid by someone, to say nothing of doctor and hospital bills. They had no insurance, but perhaps Jonas did. But really, Jonas wasn’t responsible for deer ambling onto the road. How did people pay for things caused by accidents?

  At least Jonas had held her hand while they waited for help. She’d noticed that he didn’t leave her side until she was loaded into the ambulance. Shirley groaned and felt someone squeeze her arm gently.

  “We’re almost there. Please hold still.”

  Noise chattered from somewhere above her head. This time she realized that information was being passed back and forth, probably via a radio. The attendant next to her leaned into her line of sight. “Shirley, your parents have been notified by the police. A state trooper will bring them to the hospital.”

  Shirley held perfectly still. Was she supposed to be happy about this? Mamm and Daett’s presence wasn’t the most comforting thought right now. This night had turned into a nightmare—and after such a pleasant evening with Jonas. She tried to turn her head, but cried out from the increased pain.

  “Dear!” The paramedic placed gentle hands on both sides of Shirley’s head. “You must hold still.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes. Was there more to her injuries than she realized? What else would provoke such a vigilant reaction from the paramedic? What if the doctors couldn’t fix her up? What then?

  She felt the ambulance slow as the siren wail ceased. Shirley breathed a sigh of relief. The awful ride was ending. They must have arrived at the hospital. She’d have some answers soon. What if her face would heal but she’d be scarred for life? Could she survive if her beauty was gone? Would anyone like her? Would Jonas still be interested? If she was scarred up, what man would want to stay around?

  Shirley forced her mind to stop as the ambulance halted, the back doors opened, and paramedics rolled her gurney out of the ambulance. They went through some doors and bright lights assaulted her eyes. The rush of people talking and machines humming droned in her ears. Doors swished around her, and silence replaced the droning. The lights didn’t dim though. Soft voices spoke and kind faces peered down at her. Shirley began to tremble. Even Mamm and Daett would be a welcomed sight at the moment.

  The ambulance paramedic appeared again by Shirley’s side and squeezed her hand. “Good luck, girl. You’re going into surgery now.”

  Shirley could only nod her thanks, and the paramedic seemed to understand.

  The gurney moved again, and Shirley noticed ceiling lights passing by. She closed her eyes. Oh, please, God, let this end! But she realized this night was far from over. She was no longer in charge and might not be for a long time. Perhaps never again. Tears escaped her eyes, and then the gurney stopped, she felt pressure on her arms, and sleep came.

  Shirley awakened in what seemed like moments later. All was quiet. Where was she? What had happened? She tried to focus. There’d been an accident. She’d been taken to the hospital. An awful ambulance ride. The swish of doors. Bright lights. And then…nothing.

  Shirley shifted and realized she was on a bed. Mamm’s face appeared in front of her. “Don’t move, Shirley. Don’t move unless you have to.”

  She was tired of being told to not move. “Tell me, Mamm. How bad is it?”

  Mamm didn’t answer right away. “You’re in what they call the recovery room. You’ve had surgery, and now you need to rest.”

  “Who’s here?” Shirley tried to sit up, but Mamm pushed down gently on her shoulder.

  Shirley had caught a brief glimpse of Daett seated on a chair beside her bed. He hadn’t said a word. His lecture would probably have to wait until they got home. But she wanted to get it over with right now, even though the world seemed to be swirling around dizzily.

  When no one said anything more, Shirley whispered. “I’d rather be chewed out now rather than later, Daett. Let’s get the lecture over with.”

  “No one’s chewing anyone out.” Mamm stroked her arm. “You need to sleep now.”

  “Daett will have his say,” Shirley insisted. “I know you don’t approve of Jonas. But I couldn’t help myself.”

  In the silence that followed, she sensed Daett rising and coming closer.

  He spoke in hushed tones. “Yah, this is what comes from following the world, Shirley. How many times have I warned you on how the Lord l
ooks at these things? We sow to the flesh, and we reap to the flesh. The Lord will not be mocked. If we disobey, He will stand by His word. You can be thankful this wasn’t a serious injury. You could have been lamed or blinded or even killed in such an accident.”

  “Not serious?” Shirley whispered. Her hands reached up to touch her face and encountered bandages. “Unless I miss my guess, I’ll be scarred from this, won’t I?”

  There was a brief silence before Daett said, “Life is not about how a person appears. This is another lesson you will do well to learn.”

  Shirley ignored her daett and reached for Mamm’s hand. “How bad will the scars be? I know something happened to my face.”

  “Hush now.” Mamm’s fingers tightened in hers. “The doctors aren’t saying much—at least the ones we’ve spoken with. They’ll be in soon. I’m sure they’ll tell us more. They may not know until the bandages can be removed.”

  Daett’s voice rose in volume. “Of all the things to think about at this moment, Shirley, it shouldn’t be your looks. What does that matter? Your soul is what’s important. Inward beauty transcends outer beauty. You should know that. ‘Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.’ ” Daett paused for a moment. “You should be thinking of repentance, Shirley. I believe this is a warning from the Lord. This is the result of lusting after Englisha cars and Englisha ways that are not right for our people. Humble yourself, Shirley, and seek forgiveness for the path you’ve taken these past few months.”

  Tears stung Shirley’s eyes, and even Mamm’s hand in hers didn’t provide much comfort. Daett was right. She should repent. Only she couldn’t. She couldn’t repent from the way she felt about Jonas. She couldn’t be like Miriam, which was really what Daett was wanting.

  Daett must have taken her silence as encouragement because he continued. “We love you, Shirley, your mamm and I. But we can’t approve of the way you’ve been conducting your life of late. And now when this warning from the Lord also knocks on your door, you must take it seriously. Open the door of your heart, Shirley. Let the Lord’s Spirit…”