Miriam gathered up her lunch pail and locked the front door on the way out. Sally neighed when Miriam opened the small horse shelter. She embraced the horse’s neck for a long moment as tears threatened again. She wiped them away, and hitched Sally to the buggy. On the drive home, the steady beat of hooves against pavement quieted Miriam’s spirit. She breathed another quick prayer as she approached her uncle and aunt’s greenhouse. “Please let Wayne be gone for the day, dear Lord. I can’t stand another ‘fake talk’ with him right now. And let Wayne tell me the truth tomorrow so we can grow beyond this.”
Miriam pulled into the driveway and parked by the barn. Sally looked back at her as she was climbing out of the buggy. Miriam’s quick glance around revealed no one coming to help her unhitch. She breathed easier, and soon Sally was in the barn with the harness pulled off. A small bucket of oats was Sally’s reward for the trip to the schoolhouse, and the horse munched away with a look of contentment on her face as Miriam gave her a quick rub down and currycombed her coat.
Oh, to be as free from worries of the world as the animals are, Miriam thought. Didn’t Jesus say He took care of the sparrows? Not one of them fell to the ground without Him knowing it. The Lord knew how much she loved Wayne. The Lord knew the devastating pain she’d feel if their love was destroyed.
Miriam left the barn as anger rose up inside her against Esther Swartz. What was wrong with the Swartz family that they produced such heartless females? Laura hadn’t hesitated to win Ivan’s heart when he was showing an interest in her. And now Laura’s sister was on the same path. Miriam steeled herself. Esther had lived in the community before she did, and she obviously knew her way around Wayne’s heart. She must not think ill of Esther or Laura, but neither would she allow Esther to take Wayne away from her—if it wasn’t already too late.
Aunt Fannie opened the front door with a worried smile. “So how was your day? I hope better than this morning?”
Miriam tried to look strong, but the tears came without her permission. Her resolutions didn’t last much longer at the moment than Shirley’s did.
“Oh, you poor thing.” Aunt Fannie took Miriam’s hand and led her niece to the couch. “Sit down and recover yourself. Maybe I can think of something to cheer you up.”
“I’d hoped your suspicions were only dark thoughts like mine were,” Miriam muttered. “But Sarah Mullet stopped by and told me she saw Wayne and Esther holding each other behind the buggies after the hymn singing. If Sarah saw them, who else did?”
“Were they kissing?” Aunt Fannie’s eyes were wide.
“Sarah didn’t think so, but I doubt Esther would pass up such an opportunity.”
“Now let’s not imagine.” Aunt Fannie reversed her viewpoint. “We don’t know what really happened until Wayne tells you. I saw him go into the barn after you did this morning. I take it the conversation didn’t get serious this morning.”
“It didn’t.” Miriam wiped her eyes. “He didn’t even ask how the wedding plans had progressed in Possum Valley.”
Aunt Sarah wrinkled her forehead. “That doesn’t sound gut, but still…”
“I’m trying to keep up my courage.” Miriam pocketed her handkerchief. “But it’s so hard! I’m not going to just leave it be, either.”
“That’s the spirit! We’ll have supper soon. I’ve made soup, and I hope it will help you feel better.” Aunt Fannie bounced to her feet. “We’ll eat once William comes in, which shouldn’t be long.”
“You won’t tell him, will you?”
“Not in front of you, but he is my husband.” Aunt Fannie smiled sympathetically. “One shouldn’t keep secrets from one’s husband, but I will be discreet, and so will he. But come, I can serve you a little soup to tide you over.”
Miriam shook her head just as the outside washroom door slammed shut.
“There’s William now.” Aunt Fannie disappeared. Moments later she was back with Uncle William by her side.
Miriam glanced up at her uncle, but he didn’t appear troubled. Aunt Fannie hadn’t told him yet. She almost wished Uncle William already knew. He might offer her words of comfort or direction. Back in Possum Valley, Daett would have something to say about the situation.
“Long day at the schoolhouse?” Uncle William regarded her with a steady gaze.
“Just the usual.” Miriam forced a smile. “I enjoy my job, and it’s gut to be back.”
“You look upset. Did you and Wayne have a tiff this morning?” Uncle William appeared puzzled. “He did speak with you in the barn, didn’t he?”
Aunt Fannie interrupted before Miriam could answer. “We’ll talk about this later, William. Supper is waiting, and Miriam is starving.”
“So am I.” The puzzlement hadn’t left Uncle William’s voice. “I declare, Wayne was distracted all day.”
“Don’t mention Wayne!” Aunt Fannie ordered. “Not now—later after we’ve eaten!”
“Why? What’s happened?” Uncle William wasn’t dissuaded so easily.
“Later, I said!” Aunt Fannie pulled on his arm. “Come and eat, please.”
Uncle William gave in with a grudging smile. “I’m sorry, Miriam, if I was interfering.”
They all took their seats at the kitchen table. To Miriam’s surprise, the soup looked good. She hadn’t thought she could eat a thing, but hunger stirred in her stomach. Maybe this was the Lord strengthening her so she could go on?
Miriam bowed her head as Uncle William prayed:
Thank You, dear Lord, for Your grace and mercy today. Thank You that we had customers at the greenhouse and can make a living. Thank You for this wunderbah food that Fannie has prepared. Bless the work of her hands and her willing heart. Bless also our home. And remember Wayne and Miriam tonight. Amen.
“Amen,” Aunt Fannie echoed.
Miriam bit her lip to keep back the tears.
Chapter Seventeen
The Sunday noon meal had been over for some time, and the press of women cleaning the dishes in Deacon Phillips’s kitchen was intense. Miriam slipped into the washroom to catch her breath. No one would notice, as there were plenty of hands to help with the work. The truth was, she wanted to get away from Esther Swartz’s smiling face. The young woman had been practically glowing all day, which had confirmed Miriam’s worst fears. She hadn’t dared look at Wayne during the service, and he had to have noticed. That is, if he still cared about her. His brief words from yesterday held little comfort today.
Oh, why was this happening all over again? She couldn’t believe it. Was it the money’s fault? That seemed like a likely explanation. Was she being punished by God? She ought to go to the bank and ask for the whole amount in cash, and then tear every dollar bill to shreds. But no, that would be foolish. There must be another way.
Miriam straightened her kapp as the knob to the outside door turned. Had some woman forgotten her shawl? A gasp escaped her when Wayne appeared in the doorway.
“Did I startle you?” His grin was nervous.
“Well, I…” The rest of the words stuck in her throat.
Wayne tilted his head. “I thought maybe I could see you this afternoon instead of after the hymn singing. Or both times maybe? Unless your uncle might object, of course.”
“He wouldn’t,” Miriam said. Her thoughts were spinning.
“Shall I take you home then?” Wayne asked, still at the doorway.
“Yah, if you want to.” The words tumbled out.
Wayne nodded and vanished into the house. How had he known she was in the washroom? The thought whirled through Miriam’s mind. In the crowded kitchen she would have been almost invisible. He must have kept close track of her movements to have seen her enter here. Warmth spread into her cheeks. Maybe he does still care. Maybe there is a perfect explanation for what had happened between Wayne and Esther while she’d been gone. This trouble might go away like a bad dream. Perhaps she’d awaken from this nightmare to find Esther back in Possum Valley and life going on like it had been.
“Fat chance,” Miriam muttered. She slipped back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. The first of the women appeared ready to leave as the kitchen was spotless by now. Every dish had been washed and returned to its place. Deacon Phillips’s frau, Katie, could relax this afternoon after everyone had left. Miriam frowned. Now, if only she could relax, but wild and conflicting thoughts kept racing through her head. She needed to get answers out of Wayne this afternoon or she’d lose her sanity for sure.
Miriam caught a glimpse of Wayne through the kitchen window as he left through the front door on his way to the barn to get his horse. She should tell Aunt Fannie so they would know she had a ride.
Miriam moved away from the window and glanced around the kitchen. Aunt Fannie was seated near the living-room doorway. Miriam made her way over to her and whispered, “Wayne will be taking me home.”
Aunt Fannie raised her eyebrows.
Miriam continued. “He also wants to take me home after the hymn singing tonight.”
“Then he’s still…” Aunt Fannie left the rest of the thought unspoken.
Miriam nodded, and hope rose in her heart. She tentatively smiled. She stepped into the washroom. If Aunt Fannie had arrived at the same conclusion she had, then she couldn’t be wrong. Wayne wants to continue their relationship! They would work this out.
“Hi, Miriam.” Esther’s cheery voice made her jump. “I haven’t had a chance to welcome you home yet.”
Miriam gathered her courage and put on a smile. “Thank you. I’m glad to be back.”
“Did you have a chance to see Ivan and Laura while you were back in Holmes County?”
Esther’s cheer and smile hadn’t dimmed. “I saw Ivan at the church services,” Miriam replied. “Laura wasn’t well that Sunday so she stayed home.”
“Oh, I hadn’t heard that. Well, anyway, I just wanted to say hello. I’ll see you again soon.” And with that, Esther wrapped her shawl tightly around her shoulders and left.
Miriam drew in a deep breath. She had handled that well, hadn’t she? She hoped so. She stepped outside the washroom door in time to see Esther give Wayne’s buggy a quick wave as she climbed into the back of the Swartz family’s surrey. Esther’s Uncle Troy was in the front with their smaller children. His frau, Lavina, must have stayed home with Mabel today. Why hadn’t Esther stayed home to care for her grandmother? The bitter thought raced through Miriam’s consciousness, and she quickly dismissed it as unworthy of her. She approached Wayne’s buggy. After he pushed open the door for her, she climbed in and settled on the buggy seat. Wayne drove out of the lane and onto the main thoroughfare. Miriam stole a quick glance at his face. He didn’t appear the least bit guilty, which was a small comfort at least.
Wayne smiled. “It was sure gut to look over and see you in the service today. It seems like years since you left. Are you glad to be back?”
“I’m very glad to be back.” Miriam kept her voice steady.
Wayne appeared pleased. “So tell me more about the trip. We only had a brief moment in the barn the other day, and I’d love to hear all about it.”
Miriam opened her mouth, but the words stuck in her throat. How could she chatter about innocent things when the weight of uncertainty hung over her head? And why hadn’t Wayne noticed her discomfort?
Silence enveloped them as Wayne drove down the dirt road. She still hadn’t said anything, and Wayne was staring straight ahead. She would say nothing until Wayne spoke again.
“The bus ride must have been rough.” Wayne glanced at her. “I never liked bus trips myself.”
Miriam couldn’t think of a response. Why was he so clueless about the situation?
Finally, keeping his eyes on the road, Wayne asked, “There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”
She felt awful to force the issue. This was so awkward! But at least it was a beginning. She plunged ahead. “Aunt Fannie told me about seeing Esther and you together. So did Sarah Mullet.”
His back stiffened. “And what did they say?”
“I’m not going to go into details.” Her voice was way too sharp, but she couldn’t help it.
“You’re not a jealous woman, are you?” He tried to smile but failed.
Miriam sighed. “Did you give me cause to be? Did you spend time with Esther behind the buggies after the hymn singing last week? Were you in each other’s arms?”
“Oh, that.” Wayne laughed without mirth. “Why are you letting the community’s busybodies scare you? You know that tongues wag at the slightest provocation.”
“In Oklahoma? I doubt that. Maybe in Possum Valley.”
“What has Oklahoma got to do with it?” Surprise was written on his face.
“Tongues don’t wag around here, Wayne, like they do back home. This community’s different from Possum Valley.”
“I see.” Wayne didn’t look at her. “Esther and I were just talking, that’s all. She’s weighed down with the care of her grandmother, and she needs a friend. Her burden gets heavy at times.”
A sharp retort rose inside her, but Miriam squashed it. She asked the question that burned on her heart instead. “So you didn’t kiss her?”
“Why would I kiss Esther?” His voice caught a little.
“Because she’s beautiful, and charming…and after you.” The words burst out.
Wayne didn’t answer as he slowed down for the Byler’s driveway and turned in. He stopped beside the barn, but didn’t move or climb down.
Miriam’s voice choked on the words. “Well, did you? Did you kiss Esther?”
Wayne held the reins tightly. “Okay. Maybe I did. But it wasn’t planned. It was more she kissed me. We have a past together, you know.”
A sob strangled Miriam for a second. “How could you, Wayne? It doesn’t sound very ‘past’ to me. Why else would you kiss Esther where people could see you?”
Wayne had a pained look on his face. “Doesn’t that show you I didn’t plan to…well, kiss her? It was an accident, and I’d forgotten all about it already. Esther and I used to pay each other some attention while she lived here, but it never worked out. Esther understands that—both back then and now. She’s not like you.”
Miriam said nothing, her mind reeling at the image of Esther and Wayne kissing both now and then.
“Look…” Wayne glanced behind the buggy. “Your uncle and aunt will be home soon, and we can’t sit out here as if something is wrong.”
“Something is wrong,” Miriam choked. “Aunt Fannie already knows. Uncle William probably too by now.”
“You told her?” Wayne’s glance accused her. “Before you asked me for the full story?”
“Wayne, she knew something was wrong already. People aren’t blind. Remember, she saw you and Esther together. And what full story is there besides the one about kissing another woman when you’re promised to someone else?” Miriam held back the tears as Uncle William’s buggy drove past theirs and stopped closer to the barn.
Aunt Fannie climbed down with baby Jonathon in her arms and hurried toward the house without a backward glance. Uncle William didn’t look their way either. He unhitched Sally and led her into the barn.
“I’m sorry, Miriam,” Wayne whispered. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t even have talked with Esther while you were gone, but I gave in. One thing led to another, and we kissed like we did a long time ago. But that was it. It’ll never happen again. I promise, Miriam. I really do. Will you please forgive me? Can we go on like we were before? Surely you can see that I’m sorry. Why else would I be here with you?”
“My money maybe?” The words slipped out.
Wayne forced a laugh. “Now that’s a funny one. You know your money means nothing to me. My family isn’t exactly poor. Miriam, your character far exceeds Esther’s charm any day. That’s the real reason I love you.”
“You should have remembered that before you kissed Esther.”
“Okay, I’m stupid. I’ll give you that. But I said I’m sorry.”
“Es
ther’s not going away. You know that.” Miriam met his gaze. “She was waving to you again today.”
“Don’t worry about her.” Wayne took Miriam’s hand. “Esther will be Esther, but we can patch this up. Things like this happen in life. Don’t you think there will be other Esthers around after we’ve said the marriage vows? We have to be bigger than these temptations, Miriam. I love you, and you love me. Nothing has changed that.”
Slowly her fingers moved in his. Could she believe him? And forgive him? She wanted to. Wasn’t that what love did? And Wayne was here with her, not with Esther. Shouldn’t she count that as a victory?
“Can we?” Wayne’s gaze searched her face. “I really am sorry.”
He looked sorry, Miriam could see that. And she so desperately wanted to feel his arms around her.
“I guess,” she whispered.
Wayne wrapped her in a tight hug. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “Esther is in my past. I promise.”
Miriam said nothing but nestled tightly against him
Chapter Eighteen
Ivan glared at the pile of dirty dishes. Laura was obviously not feeling well again, but a man ought to come home to a clean house—to say nothing of a prepared supper. But not a dish of food was steaming on the kitchen stove. He could never remember in all the years of his youth when his mamm had failed to have supper on the table, and she’d borne a dozen children.
“Laura!” he called out. His voice echoed through the house.
“Ivan!”
Her voice came from the bedroom. He headed that way and pushed open the door.
“Ivan, I’m so weak. I think you’d better take me to the emergency room.” She struggled to sit.
A Blessing for Miriam Page 11