by Melissa Hill
‘Sounds perfect, can I bring anything?’
‘Well, now that you say it, could you pop to the shops and maybe pick up a salad or something?’ she asked and Nina got the impression that she was used to having minions at her beck and call. But she didn’t mind, as long as the other girl didn’t make a habit of it.
‘Why don’t I pop into the cafe and get Ella to rustle us up a salad roll or something?’
‘That would be fantastic,’ Ruth said, sounding relieved, but also Nina noted, a little frazzled. ‘Nothing with wheat though, you know how it is. And nothing with butter, eggs, or meat …oh and no tomatoes either; they give me breakouts.’
‘OK.’ Nina wondered what options she actually had left. Soda bread and lettuce?
‘Oh sod it; actually, maybe I need a carb blowout,’ she said with a sigh.
‘Ruth, are you OK? You sound a bit … stressed.’
‘What? No, no, I’m fine. I just didn’t want you to think I was ignoring your calls or anything. You and Trish have been so nice to me and – ’
‘No need to worry about that,’ Nina reassured her. ‘Tell you what, I’m just going to get changed, pick us up something nice, and I should be with you sometime after one o’clock OK?’
‘Great, see you then.’
Getting off the phone once more, Nina went into the bathroom to freshen up. As she was getting ready, she studied her changing body shape in the mirror. Hmm, her boobs were definitely bigger, as was her stomach. She grimaced, placing her hands gently on either side and turned to look at her profile. Yep, over four months in she was now very definitely starting to show.
She felt a sense of awe as she thought about the baby growing inside her. Would it be a girl or a boy? What colour eyes would it would have and would it have dark hair like hers or dusty blond like Steve’s? Then Nina shook her head, preventing herself from thinking about such things. What did it matter who it looked like? What mattered was what the hell she was going to do about it.
She slipped on a white form fitting t-shirt with the intention of placing a bulky sweater over it to hide her growing frame. Then she realised that she’d left the sweater back in her bedroom. She padded barefoot back out to the hallway and almost collided with Patrick at the top of the stairs.
‘Oh!’ Nina stopped in her tracks and locked eyes with her father.
‘I was just wondering if….’ His words trailed off as his gaze trailed to her mid-section, settling on the small bump highlighted by the tight-fitting T-shirt. Nina instinctively lowered the towels and clothes that she had been carrying.
‘Yes?’ she prompted, hoping that he was just embarrassed about seeing her still half-dressed. His eyes wouldn’t meet hers; they were shifting back and forth as he stood there, dumbstruck.
Nina felt her face becoming hot, and before he could say anything, she moved away and down towards her room, closing the door behind her. She threw the towels on the bed, and rushed to put on the sweater. Damn! Could her father possibly put it all into place? Had he spotted that she was pregnant? Or maybe she just looked bloated like she’d ate too much for breakfast?
She rose to look again in the mirror. No, she definitely looked pregnant, there was no way anyone could pass that off as too much food.
Then again, what of it? What business was it of his? She wasn’t asking him to raise it and she wasn’t sixteen either. She was thirty years old and only living here temporarily. There was no reason for Patrick to care one way or the other; he knew that she’d been living with her boyfriend, so why would he care?
Still, she didn’t want Patrick to know, didn’t want anyone to know in case word would get back to her mother. And the last thing Nina wanted was to have to deal with other people’s emotions; it was hard enough dealing with it all herself. Not to mention that she hadn’t even begun dealing with … the consequences.
The last conversation she wanted was one with her father where she had to explain she was pregnant by a man who was no longer her boyfriend, and who had no intention of marrying her nor helping her raise the baby.
Still, Nina knew that regardless of how odd Patrick may be, he wasn’t an idiot. If he did suspect something, it was only a matter of time before he’d ask what the hell was going on. Not to mention that sooner or later she’d need to tell him the truth.
Or would he ask? Nina didn’t know. Patrick could be so strange sometimes that he might not have noticed a thing, or even if he had, might not make mention of it in any case.
And for once in her life, Nina was somewhat glad that her father wasn’t quite like anyone else.
Chapter 17
The doorbell of her parents’ house rang and Ruth went to answer it, expecting to see Nina. She’d phoned her on the spur of the moment really; needing to talk to someone after Troy’s wholehearted and very hurtful rejection of her.
Of course she had no intention of confiding in Nina about her newly discovered state – it was way too early for that – but she’d spent so much time cooped up in this house lately that she needed something to take her mind off her problems. And in truth, she felt guilty about avoiding Nina’s messages this last while; she was a lovely person, easy to be around and had this nice sort of calming effect on Ruth – sort of like Chloe but better.
But when Ruth answered the door she was met by none other than Charlie Mellon.
‘Charlie?’ she gasped, confused. What was he doing here?
‘May I come in?’ he asked sombrely.
‘Sure.’ Ruth stood back to let him pass and he stood in the hallway looking around. ‘The place hasn’t changed much,’ he commented lightly. Then he glanced towards the kitchen. ‘Are the folks home?’
‘No, they went to Dublin for the day.’
‘I thought as much when I didn’t see the car outside. You didn’t go with them?’
She smiled tightly. ‘I’m trying my best to keep a low profile these days.’
‘Ah. Know what you mean. I guess that explains why I haven’t seen you around town lately.’
‘I would have thought you’d be glad about that seeing as apparently my presence here offends you so much,’ she said, clearly recalling their last meeting.
‘Well, actually that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour in the café that time.’
Ruth couldn’t hide her surprise. ‘Apologise? Why?’
‘Because I know I shouldn’t have been so rude to you.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, I won’t argue with that. But why the sudden change of heart?’
Charlie sighed. ‘Look, any chance I could have a cup of coffee while I’m here?’ he said, eyes twinkling in the slightly roguish way that had always made him irresistible.
‘Depends on whether or not you deserve one.’ Ruth wasn’t going to make things that easy for him.
‘OK, OK. I admit it; I was an ass for talking to you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it.’
‘Agreed and I’m still trying to figure out where this turnaround is coming from.’
He held up a newspaper she hadn’t noticed he was carrying. ‘I read the interview in the News this morning and to be honest, I didn’t realise that you’d had it so tough in Hollywood.’
‘Tough?’ Eyes wide, Ruth reached for the paper. What the hell had Trish been saying about her?
She flicked through the pages until she found the two-page spread, including (an admittedly fabulous photograph) of her taken down by the lake. Ruth was impressed; she hadn’t expected the local photographer to be that good. But the headline wasn’t so good.
Our Ruth Overcomes Hollywood Casting Couch Hell to finally make it to the Top.
Damn! Ruth had mentioned very briefly how she’d had to work hard to break away from the Oirish stereotype but it had been nothing like the ‘hell’ the headline suggested! Carrying the open newspaper through to the kitchen, her eyes scanned through the interview. It was for the most part flattering, and while Trish had mercifully glossed over the Tr
oy Valentine and Late Tonight incidents, she did imply that Ruth enjoyed and embraced the party-girl tag, pointing out that she’d always been an attention seeker while growing up.
‘I think it’s pretty good.’ Charlie commented but there was mirth in his voice. ‘Particularly the bit about you being a ‘go-getter’ and ‘always destined for bigger things.’
‘Translate; too-big-for-her-boots stuck-up cow,’ Ruth said acerbically.
‘Come on, I think all in all Trish did a good job. And she’s a journalist, so of course she’s going to bring her own … slant to things,’ he chuckled, choosing his words carefully.
‘Does she still have a crush on you then?’ Ruth asked drolly.
‘Come on Ruth; it’s been a long time since our school days.’
She looked at him. ‘That’s not an answer.’
‘What more of an answer do you want? Anyway, let’s not change the subject. As I said, I was unfair to you before and I wanted to make up for it. Coffee?’ He was making himself at home, opening the kitchen cupboard doors like he did it everyday. Which of course he practically did back when they were together.
She pointed to the edge of the counter. ‘They’ve got a cafetiere now.’
He paused for a moment and then shook his head from side to side, the beginnings of a smile on his face. ‘You really are used to being waited on hand and foot, aren’t you? You expect me to make us both coffee too?’
‘Oh cripes, sorry.’ Ruth truly hadn’t intended on him making the coffee; she wasn’t that bad a hostess, but her mind was still preoccupied with not only the interview, but what she’d learned that morning. ‘I’ll do it.’
‘Good. After coming all the way up here to apologise, the least a guy could expect is a decent cup of coffee. Seeing as he clearly isn’t going to get a pardon.’
‘What?’ Ruth said distractedly.
‘Ruth what is wrong with you? I know I acted like an ass that day but don’t tell me you’re still going to hold a grudge?’
Ruth bit her lip; she really didn’t know what he wanted from her. ‘OK fine then, you’re forgiven,’ she said haughtily.
Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Well thank you so much for accepting my apology.’ He said each word pointedly as if bringing it to her attention that she’d never apologised for her behaviour in the past.
It worked. ‘Look, I’m sorry too – sorry for what I did …back then. I know I should have handled it better, and shouldn’t have … run out like that.’
‘I think that could just about be described as an understatement.’
Bloody hell she didn’t need to deal with this right now, with these thoughts, feelings from her past… Goodness knows she had enough on her mind at the moment without throwing all this older stuff into the mix.
She plopped down in a nearby chair and sighed. ‘Look, I realise what I did was wrong, especially with how we were but it was all such a long time ago. I mean, really, would you have actually wanted to marry me?’ She was surprised how she’d made that sound, almost as though she herself believed she wasn’t worthy.
He blinked. ‘I don’t think I would have asked if I didn’t.’
‘Well, for what it’s worth, I really am truly sorry for causing all of that. I know it was horrible at the time, and yes perhaps I don’t blame you for saying you didn’t want anything more to do with me. But really, you wouldn’t have wanted my life, the way it is now.’
‘The way it is now …what does that mean?’
Ruth had no idea why she had phrased it that way. After all, she was living the dream life wasn’t she? The result of all those years’ hard work?
She shook her head. ‘Ah don’t mind me; I’m just a little stressed out lately, all that media stuff, you know.’
‘I can imagine.’
Despite his earlier teasing, Charlie took over making the coffee. As he stood up, suddenly Ruth was aware of how much smaller the room felt with him in it. She couldn’t deny he looked great and had really kept himself in good shape over the years. She started to wonder if he still looked just as good with his clothes off, but then caught herself, realising she shouldn’t be thinking like that, especially now. She put her head in her hands and massaged her temples.
‘Hey, are you all right?’ She noticed the change in his voice and she looked up as he placed a couple of coffee mugs on the table between them. The concern on his face was so real and familiar that guilt flooded through her. She felt terrible that she had been the one to cause this lovely man so much pain. I truly am a rotten person, she thought, before bursting into tears.
‘I’m sorry but it’s just so horrible; everything is horrible,” she sniffed, as Charlie stared at her, bewildered. “I’ve just made so many mistakes Charlie … I made them with you … made them with my career … with everything. Why can’t I just make good choices, sensible choices?’
He moved his chair closer to hers and put a comforting hand on her arm. ‘Hey come on, don’t cry, it’s OK. All right so it might not have looked like it before, but honestly, I’ve long forgiven you for what happened, and the choice you made.’ He paused and she looked at him.
‘It’s not just that though,’ she sobbed. ‘I’ve been messing things up my whole life. I messed it up with you, and now have probably messed up my career, everything!’ She was crying openly now. ‘I can’t trust myself to do anything without making mistakes.’
‘Well, I’m not sure what you’re talking about but maybe they aren’t mistakes at all. Maybe it’s just that the path to the place you’re supposed to be is longer?’
Ruth smiled a little and wiped her eyes. ‘That’s like something you’d hear in LA.’
‘Well maybe I would have been cut out for the place after all,’ he grinned but his eyes were sad, and she saw a flicker of something in them that brought back a memory; it was the way he used to look at her. She didn’t know what to say. ‘But for the record Ruth, I would have welcomed any path my life took, so long as it was with you.’
‘What?’ she whispered, feeling something flutter in her stomach.
He shrugged. ‘I knew you wanted to be a star and had bigger ideas and dreams than just Lakeview. I would have gone anywhere you wanted Ruth, but you never gave me the chance.’
‘Charlie …’
‘I would have done anything. Then, when I heard you were coming home, I must admit that I tried to make myself feel angry. I wanted to hate you,’ he laughed shortly. ‘And believe me I’ve tried to do that for a long time, but Ruth, I also wanted to see you.’
‘You did? But you were so furious …’
‘Of course I was furious, the last time I saw you, you left me holding an engagement ring. But after left, I realised that I’d just have to move on with my life. There was a side of me that was kind of hoping you’d get in touch and maybe ask me to come over there and see you, but then the years went by and nothing happened.’
Ruth had no idea – no clue that he’d felt that way. She’d always believed that he was content to stay in Lakeview, that he’d intended for them to settle down and spend the rest of their lives there as a regular couple. Never for a second did she think Charlie would have come with her to LA. Would it have been different if he had, she couldn’t help wonder now?
Charlie was still talking. ‘So before you arrived, while I had prepared myself for bumping into you sometime, I hadn’t prepared myself for all that stuff in the newspapers, pictures of you with that … guy.’ At the mention of Troy, Ruth felt her heart harden – for more reasons than one.
‘I didn’t want to look at them, because I had my own memories of you…’
There was a very long and heavy silence for a while but then, and Ruth wasn’t sure how it happened, but suddenly his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her with an intensity that made her heart feel like it was going to stop.
He cupped her face tightly in his hands, and instinctively she threw her arms around his neck. She was amazed at how familiar he felt, how easily the old
feelings came rushing back; it was incredible. It almost felt like discovering exactly what had been missing from her life. Maybe he was right; maybe the path to where she was supposed to be just took longer, and had many detours. Maybe she and Charlie were supposed to be together and they could really make it work this time.
Then something tapped at the back of Ruth’s brain, and she quickly pulled away.
‘I’m sorry,’ she gasped, standing back and putting a hand to her mouth.
Charlie stared at her, his expression unfathomable.
‘It’s just that …this is a really bad time for …this.’
He was staring at the floor. ‘I understand.’
‘No – you don’t.’ She stepped forward, reaching for him but he stood up.
‘I think I do.’ His tone was cold. ‘You’re sorry for what happened before, but it was a long time ago and you’ve moved on. I get it.’
‘No Charlie, you really don’t,’ Ruth said, tears brimming in her eyes again. She had to tell him; needed to tell someone. Never mind that the circumstances were crazy, and that given what had just happened, he was possibly the last person in the world who’d be able to sympathise. ‘Remember those mistakes I was talking about earlier?’ She took a deep breath as he met her gaze. ‘Well, I actually left out the mother of them all...’
‘You’re pregnant?’ he gasped in disbelief when she’d finished telling him the whole sorry story.
Ruth felt like crying. Her life was going to go down in the Guinness Book of World Records as ‘Worst Life Ever.’
‘I just found out this morning,’ she told him gently.
‘You mean before I got here?’
‘Yes.’
‘Unbelieveable! So who’s the … father?’ It was the obvious question but he looked as though he was steeling himself to ask it. Ruth eyes were downcast, her expression guilty. ‘Him? The Valentine guy, seriously?’ He ran his hands through his hair.
‘It was an accident – obviously,’ Ruth defended. ‘It wasn’t supposed to happen.’