Zaiden and Nyla followed behind them, and they all piled into Chandler's SUV to head back to Chandler and Brynn's. Zaiden and Nyla sat in the back, holding hands and kissing the whole time. Once back at Brynn's, Nyla gave Zaiden directions to her house, where they had planned to continue their date.
When they left, Chandler walked Brynn to her front door, holding her hand. Before Brynn could get her keys out, Chandler had pulled her in for another kiss.
He backed her up against the door, as he kissed her with everything he had in him. His tongue delved into her mouth and she responded just as eagerly, reaching up to pull his head even closer so she could deepen the kiss. He moaned into her mouth again and she immediately wanted to melt. Brynn was thankful to be between the door and Chandler, so that she didn't fall down. His kisses were making her legs so weak.
Brynn finally broke the kiss when she simply had to come up for air. She panted and struggled to breathe. Chandler chuckled against her hair. "We are definitely going to have to talk about this," he said.
"Definitely," she agreed.
"I think we both need to figure some things out tonight, so maybe it's better if we talk tomorrow?-
"That's fine. I don't think I can even form coherent sentences right now," Brynn said with a shaky smile.
Chandler kissed her on the nose. "Good night. I'll call you in the morning before I send Barrett home."
"Sounds good," Brynn told him, then reached up to pull his head down to hers one more time. She kissed him hard at first, then softly, teasing him by nibbling on his full bottom lip as she moved away.
"Mmm, if you keep kissing me like that, then I won't ever be able to leave," Chandler moaned.
"I know..." she murmured. "So you had better go."
"Good night," Chandler whispered and gave her a final quick peck on the lips before turning and walking away toward his house.
Brynn's hands were shaking as she unlocked her door. She shut the door and backed into it, smiling. She stood there for a long moment, reliving every second of those kisses. It was going to be impossible to sleep, but she reminded herself that the sooner she went to dreamland, the sooner tomorrow would get here, and then maybe - just maybe - she would get to kiss him again.
Chapter 8
Brynn tossed and turned all night, thinking about everything that had happened with her and Chandler. She couldn't deny that she had feelings for him, and that his kisses made her feel like she was floating, but was she really ready to get into another relationship, and more importantly, was he?
She knew that even though it had been two years since his wife's death, Chandler wasn't really over Brooklyn, and she wasn't sure he ever would be. Brynn didn't want to feel like she was constantly competing with a ghost, the ghost of his wife, his first love. She didn't want to give in and end up falling for him, when he was just going to hurt her somewhere down the road. After all, someday he'd realize that Brynn would never measure up to the woman that Brooklyn had been; where would that leave Brynn?
But on the other hand, he was such a good kisser, and he could sure shake his ass on the dance floor. He was such a good friend, and he was always there to talk, or listen, or just hang out. He was a great father to Willow, and a great male role model for Barrett. He was a genuinely sweet man; she didn't think Chandler had it in him to hurt anyone, especially not her.
But then again, he was a man, and what man hasn't hurt a woman at some point in his life, intentional or not?
By the time the morning sunlight arrived, Brynn knew her line of questioning was getting her absolutely nowhere. How could she even know what he was feeling? She stared at the clock for a few minutes, gave up on sleep and rose to get her shower.
Brynn then headed downstairs to get a Pepsi. She got the drink out of the fridge, grabbed the morning newspaper from the front porch, and headed out to the back deck to read. She flipped through the paper, looking at all of the articles, but not truly absorbing any of the words she read. Just when she was about to give up, she looked over and saw Chandler walking toward her. He smiled at her when their eyes met, and she put down the newspaper.
"Good morning. I see you're up early," Chandler said as he reached her deck.
"Morning. I didn't exactly get much sleep last night. How about you?" Brynn asked, giving him a shy smile.
"Yeah, not so good. I don't think either one of us is going to get much sleep until we talk about what's happening."
"I agree," Brynn said nervously. "Are the kids up yet?"
"Yeah, my mom just came and picked them up. She wanted to take Willow for the day, to go to the beach and offered to take Barrett along with her. I hope you don't mind that I said he could go. I sent them with plenty of sunscreen and strict orders not to go near the water without an adult with them."
"Oh, that's fine. I trust your mom. After all, you made it out of your childhood alive." She laughed, still nervous. "Besides, I think it's good if we have some time to talk without interruption."
"Agreed. So, let's talk."
"Now?" Brynn stammered.
"Yes, now. I think we need to clear the air, and do it as soon as possible."
After a few minutes of silence, Chandler took the lead. "Okay, since you don't want to start, I guess I will." He reached across the patio table and grabbed Brynn's hand. "I don't know what's happening between us, but I have to tell you, the feeling I get kissing you is indescribable. I haven't felt this way about a woman in a long time, and quite honestly, it scares me."
Brynn took a deep breath. He had been incredibly honest, so it was her turn to do the same, no matter how much it made her blush. "Glad I'm not the only one then. I get this tingling feeling every time I'm around you, and it scares me too."
"Why does it scare you?"
She sighed. "I really like the friendship that we have, and I don't know where I'd be without you as my friend."
"I completely agree. Our friendship is very important to me, more important than pretty much anything, other than Willow of course." Chandler paused for a long moment, gathering his thoughts. "When you came into my life, I felt like a part of me had finally been glued back together. I have been broken for so long, but I also don't know if I am really over Brooklyn's death."
Chandler looked into Brynn's eyes, trying to read her reaction to what he was telling her. "I am so confused. One minute I think I'm ready to move on, then the next I feel so guilty that I am even thinking about it."
Brynn felt the tears building up in her eyes. She had known this would be hard if they ever pursued it, but now it seemed like it really wasn't the time. They were already moving too fast. "Chandler, I really like you, and I enjoy spending time with you, but I don't want to push you into something that you aren't ready for. I don't want you to resent me because you feel guilty for moving on, and I also don't want to lose your friendship."
She took another deep breath. "If you aren't ready, I need to know now before I get into this too deep. I still have some scars from the way Nico treated me and our marriage, and I don't think I can handle any more at this point." Brynn swallowed hard. "I don't want something to start happening with us, then a month or two down the road you realize that you weren't ready. I also can't live in the memory of your first wife. If you decide that you want to be with me, I need you to be with me, not someone who is there as a replacement for Brooklyn. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Chandler nodded. "I understand. You don't want to live in Brooklyn's shadow. I get that. Just like I don't want to live in Nico's shadow. I don't ever want to be judged because of something that Nico did. I'm not Nico, and I never will be. I think he is the lowest form of life for cheating on his wife, and not wanting anything to do with his son." Chandler started to get mad just thinking about Nico. His hands clenched into fists and he took a few deep breaths. He caught what he was doing and gave a harsh laugh. "I get furious even thinking about that...excuse for a man."
Brynn smiled. "I'm glad we're on the same page about that."
"Bu
t anyway, I think we are getting a little ahead of ourselves. First we need to decide if we are ready to head into the next stage and start something between us."
Brynn was silent for a moment. They she rushed ahead with what had been in the back of her mind since the night before. "Well, I know how I feel about you, but I'm not really sure how you feel."
"How do you feel about me?" Chandler asked her, a slight smile on his face.
Brynn blushed hard. She put her hands up to her face, covering it for a moment, before she finally decided to just go with it. She was too deep in this conversation not to anyway. "Well, every time I'm around you, I get these little butterflies in my stomach. I think about you a lot during the day. You make me smile, and I enjoy the time I spend with you."
"So, that's positive," Chandler laughed.
"And what about you?" Brynn asked.
"Well, let me tell you...As soon as I saw you this morning, all I could think about was coming over here, wrapping you in my arms, and kissing the hell out of you."
"So, this is just something physical then?"
"I think you know better than that!" Chandler smiled. "It's just really hard for me to talk about this, to talk about my feelings. I haven't done anything like this in a really long time, so I'm rusty. Maybe we should just take things slow and see where it leads us."
"Slow is good. But no matter what happens, I don't want to lose my friend," Brynn said, wiping her eyes.
"Me too. You are very important to me."
"So, what was it again that you were thinking when you walked over here?" Brynn asked shyly, her breath already short.
Chandler stood up and pulled Brynn from her chair. She instinctively moved closer to him, so he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against his body. She was so close that he could feel her heart racing as he lowered his head down to hers. Her lips opened under his, and her little moan sounded both eager and relieved. . Her arms drifted to his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, with one of her hands reaching up to play with the hair on the back of his head. One of his hands found its way up to Brynn's face and cupped her cheek.
They took their time, kissing fully and openly now that the conversation had been had. Brynn closed her eyes and took a ride on the tingly magic that was working inside her. Kissing him felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Chandler kissed her harder as the thoughts of their conversation swirled in his head. As Brynn went supple and limp in his arms, he thought once about Brooklyn, and the guilt rose up again. But before it could take hold, the reality of Brynn and how much he wanted her made him forget about everything but this magical moment in her backyard.
Chandler broke the passionate kiss to place small kisses on Brynn's lips, and rest his forehead against hers. "It feels so good to be able to do that. Especially when it's all I could think about all night," Chandler told her.
"I've been thinking about it since last week when we went out. How bad is that?"
"I can't help it if I'm so irresistible," Chandler laughed.
"You have no idea," she teased.
"So, when can I take you out on our first official date?"
She smiled up at him. "Well, how about next weekend? I don't really want to start leaving Barrett with babysitters all weekend. I think once a weekend is more than enough."
"I agree. I don't want to be unfair to the kids. So next weekend we can go out on our date? But we can still hang out with the kids like we have been, right?"
"Of course, we can still hang out. I really enjoy the time we spend together, and so do Barrett and Willow," Brynn told him. She looked into his eyes and hesitated for a moment before asking, "So are we going to tell anyone about this, like the kids or our friends?"
"Good question. I know Nyla will be pumping you for info at some point today, so you can tell her what you want. I don't want to make it public yet with a whole lot of people knowing. Let's see where things go first. Does that bother you?"
"Not in the least. I completely agree."
"Good. Now, can I convince you to come over to my house so I can cook you breakfast?"
"Only if you wear an apron that says 'Kiss the Cook'," Brynn teased.
Chandler took her hand and led her to his house. Once inside, he told Brynn to make herself comfortable in the living room while he got the food started. He left her with a kiss and she turned to the room, already curious to see what she might find there, what more about him she might learn from his private spaces.
Brynn made her way over to the mantle that was lined with picture frames. Every single picture was a memory of a time that Chandler spent with Brooklyn. There were wedding pictures, pictures from when Willow was born, and other every day pictures.
Brynn picked up one of the wedding pictures, and ran her fingertips lightly over the glass. She looked at the smiles on the bride and groom's faces as they looked into each other's eyes over their glasses of champagne. They looked so happy, so in love. It was the kind of love that would make anyone smile, and Brynn did just that as she looked at it. Brynn wondered if she could ever make Chandler as happy as Brooklyn had made him.
She returned the picture to the mantle, and turned around to see Chandler standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall. She looked at him and flashed a sad smile before her eyes drifted to the floor.
"I'm just not ready to put her pictures away yet," Chandler told her.
"I think this may be a mistake Chandler. You aren't ready, and I don't know if you ever will be," Brynn said as she rushed to the door.
Chandler stepped in front of her and grabbed her arms. "Please, don't go. I can't tell you that I'm going to forget the memories of everything that ever happened with Brooklyn, because I won't. But I think I am ready to put the memories into the past, and move forward with my life. I can't just go from mourning to moving on, and getting rid of all her pictures overnight. This is going to take some adjustment for me," Chandler said, pleading with her to understand.
"I do understand that. I'm not asking you to forget your life with Brooklyn. I would never do that." Much to her chagrin, Brynn began to cry.
"Then what is it? What has you so upset?" he asked
"Nothing, Chandler."
"That's not true. Please talk to me."
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just overreacting since I didn't get enough sleep last night," Brynn said. Chandler gave her a look that said he obviously wasn't convinced.
"Well, when you're ready to tell me what's really bothering you, let me know," he told her, and let go of her arms.
Brynn took one step away from him. They looked at each other for a long, awkward moment.
"I'm sorry," she said again.
"How about we go out for breakfast instead?"
"That's probably a good idea. Are you sure you want to put up with me though? I'm not much use when I've had no sleep."
"I think I can handle you," he said with a smile.
"Chandler..."
"If you apologize again, we'll go to your house and you will have to cook for me."
That made her smile.
"Come on, let's go," Chandler said, and pulled her out the front door. They got in his SUV, and headed to the diner a few minutes away. Leaving his house made Brynn feel a lot better, but she worried that she would never feel comfortable there with all the memories that haunted it. Only time would tell.
Chapter 9
After breakfast, Chandler and Brynn strolled down the street filled with small shops, going into the ones of interest and looking around. Brynn had bought a few knick-knacks for her house, some clothes, and even managed to buy something for Chandler when he wasn't looking.
"So, I take it you like shopping?" Chandler asked as he helped her carry some of her many bags.
"Not really. That's why when I shop, I really shop. I don't think I could shop in stores or a mall more than once every month or two. Just another reason why I love the internet. There are no crowded stores to deal with, and I can wear m
y pajamas while buying!"
"So then you won't make me come out shopping with you all the time?"
"Well, no! We'll do this as little as possible!" Brynn reassured him. "Speaking of which, I've had it for the day. How about we head home and enjoy our time left until the kids come back from the beach?"
"Music to my ears!" Chandler said, and led her back to his vehicle. He put her packages in the back, and helped her into the passenger seat. As he drove them back to their houses, he reached over and took Brynn's hand in his, content to just touch her.
Chandler and Brynn spent the rest of the afternoon at her house relaxing. They were taking the time to get to know each other better, sharing stories from their childhood, and reliving old memories. Shortly after lunch, Chandler got a call on his cell phone.
"Hi Chandler, it's Mom. I just wanted to let you know we're on our way back from the beach. I wanted to make sure you were home before I dropped Willow and Barrett off."
"Yeah, I'm home, Mom. You can drop them off at Brynn's," Chandler said into his phone.
"We'll be there in about 15 minutes. See you then. Love you," she said.
"Love you too," he told her, before closing his flip-phone.
"Mom said they'll be here in about fifteen minutes," Chandler told Brynn.
"Sounds good. I feel like I haven't seen Barrett for a long time," Brynn laughed.
"Well, how about we spend some quality time with our kids, then meet up again after they've gone to sleep?"
"Good plan." She thought about being alone with Chandler at night. "You know, I still haven't used my hot tub. Maybe we can break it in tonight after they go to sleep. Why don't you bring Willow over here to spend the night, so that you aren't too far away from her?"
"I think I like the sounds of that." Chandler pulled Brynn down so that she was sitting in his lap, then captured her mouth with his. "Mmm, this is going to be the last time I can kiss you like this until later tonight. I don't know if I can wait that long!"
Brynn laughed. "You went for months without kissing me when we met. I think you can handle waiting until later tonight."
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