"I need you in me," Brynn whispered. "Please, Chandler..."
Chandler moved between her legs, pressing his knees against them, opening them wider. Settling above her, he looked down into her eyes. "Do we need condoms?"
"I'm on the pill," she assured him.
He guided himself over her hole, running himself up and down her slit a few times to lube himself up. He took deep breaths to keep himself under control - he wanted her so badly that it was taking an effort to go slow. He finally began to enter her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He wanted to take his time, but Brynn wasn't having any of that. Using her leg muscles, she squeezed him, forcing him all the way into her.
"Couldn't wait, huh?" Chandler panted.
"I need you so bad," she groaned.
He started pumping in and out of her, every now and then teasing her by withdrawing almost completely, then making her beg him to put it back in her. He loved hearing how much she wanted him.
Brynn was almost delirious with pleasure. He felt even better than she thought he would, and the tease was heavenly torture. Just when she got close, he would stop. It was almost as if he knew her body so well that he could sense the right moment to make her beg.
He rolled them over, so that Brynn was on top of him, straddling his hips. She took control and set the pace of their lovemaking, taking some time to tease him herself. "Turn about is fair play," she teased as he grabbed her hips, trying to force her to move faster. He groaned in agreement and dropped his hands, letting her ride him however she pleased.
Brynn's body finally decided enough was enough. She began to tremble, the orgasm coming no matter how slow or fast she moved. She gave in to it, throwing her head back, crying out his name as she came.
Chandler felt her convulsing around his shaft, and it took all his control not to send him spiraling too. He held on for a little while longer, until he couldn't handle the pressure any longer. He released his load inside of Brynn, growling out in pleasure as he did. She looked down at his face and watched as he slowly came down from the pinnacle.
After their bodies calmed, Brynn rolled off Chandler, both of them sweaty and spent. She lay in his arms, speechless at the sheer pleasure they had just shared. It was everything she had hoped it would be and so much more, like the stuff of fairy tales. She smiled against his shoulder as she replayed it all in her head.
Brynn had the urge to tell him that she loved him, but she knew it was too soon. They had taken a big step in their relationship tonight, and she didn't want to set them back by telling him her true feelings for him.
Instead, she lay in his arms, listening to their hearts beating in sync. Soon he was sound asleep and lightly snoring. She closed her eyes and fell asleep too, a smile still on her lips.
Chapter 15
Chandler and Brynn slept soundly in each other's arms throughout the night, waking early for an encore performance. After they were both spent again, they lay together, holding one another in the afterglow.
Brynn lay on her side, with her head cradled on his shoulder, drawing random shapes and designs on his stomach and chest. Though her body felt at peace, and thoroughly pleasured, her mind was in turmoil. She knew that she was in love with Chandler, and wanted to tell him so badly, but she was afraid that he would turn and run when he heard how she felt.
On the other hand, Brynn didn't think it was fair that she had to hide her true feelings from him just because he might be scared. After all, everyone gets scared. It's all in how you handle it that separates the men from the boys, so to speak. Besides, Chandler might feel the same way, and just be waiting for her to say it first.
She made her decision.
"Chandler?" She wasn't sure if he was awake or not. His breathing was slow, but she didn't think he could fall asleep that quickly.
"Hmm?-I have something to tell you, and I've been going back and forth over whether I should or not."
"You should tell me," he whispered.
Brynn took a deep breath. "When I left Nico, I never thought I'd want to be with another man again. When I met you, I thought you were the perfect friend for me, and that it would never go further than that. The problem is, it did end up going further than that. You gave me so much to believe in, you showed me that not every man was a cheater, they aren't all untrustworthy, and that I'm deserving of better than what I had with Nico. You have been there for me so much since I met you, and little by little, my feelings have turned from nothing but friendship to something more, something way more."
Chandler smiled but didn't say anything.
"Chandler, I have to tell you...I've fallen for you. I love you," she told him, her voice just above a whisper.
Chandler yawned. "I love you too, Brooklyn."
For a moment time seemed to stand still. She heard the words, but the impact took a moment to truly hit. When it did, her chest ached and she couldn't breathe.
"What?" she yelled, out of bed in an instant.
Chandler shot up in bed, awoken by Brynn screaming at him. He looked at her with confused, shocked eyes.
"What did you just call me? I just poured my heart out to you, and you do this to me? How could you?" Brynn shouted, furiously getting dressed.
Chandler sat there gaping at Brynn. All he knew was that one minute he was having the most perfect dream, introducing Brynn, his new love, to Brooklyn and getting her approval for Chandler to move on, then the next, Brynn was screaming like a Banshee. He didn't know if she was mad at him for falling asleep after they made love, or if he didn't give her enough pleasure...he was clueless at what just happened.
"Wait!" he shouted back. "What happened? Why are you so mad at me?" "I'm leaving."
Chandler was out of bed and grabbing her arm before she had a chance to make it to the door. "What the hell is going on?"
"Thanks for letting me know where I rate, and that I will never match up to Brooklyn!" Brynn yanked her arm out of Chandler's grasp, and took off down the stairs, slamming the back door when she left.
Chandler backed against the wall, and slumped down to the floor, head in his hands. "But I love you," he said softly to the woman who had just walked out of his life.
Then he played the scene out in his mind, over and over, looking for any clues as to why she was upset. He drew a blank, but he knew that he wasn't going to give up on her that easily. He had just found love again, had finally got his life back, and he wasn't going to throw that away.
Brynn ran into her house and straight up to her bedroom. She threw herself down on her bed and buried her head in her pillows. How could she have been so wrong about Chandler? How could he have hurt her so badly? Was he just pretending to care about her to get into bed with her? At least with Nico, she knew it was all about the sex, and that he didn't try to make her believe he cared for her when he didn't.
Maybe that's what hurt the most. She felt more than betrayed, she felt duped. Chandler made Brynn believe that he felt something for her, when all he wanted to do was feel her. How could she have spent so much time with him over the past few months and not seen it? She was so wrong about him!
She knew when they first met that he wasn't over his wife's death. He didn't try to hide it. But lately, he seemed to be making so much progress, like taking down her pictures, telling their friends that they were together, making love to her...why would he do all that stuff if he wasn't over Brooklyn? The only thing Brynn could think of was for sex.
The phone started ringing and Brynn groaned, trying to get ahold of herself. She looked at the caller ID to see if she even wanted to answer it.
She saw the name and snatched up the phone.
"Nyla?"
Nyla instantly knew something had happened. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"It's over. I hate him. He hurt me worse than Nico did!" Brynn burst into sobs.
"I'm on my way over there right now. I'm about three blocks from your house. Come down and let me in," Nyla said.
Huh? Brynn straightened, trying to dr
y her tears.
"Why are you coming over?" "Well, don't get mad, but Chandler called and said he woke up to you yelling and that you ran out on him. He didn't know what to do, so he asked if I would come over and check on you."
Brynn gave a wry chuckle. "Nice to see he's still keeping up with the act, pretending to care about my feelings!"
"Okay, I'm here, come down and let me in," Nyla said.
"It's unlocked. I'm upstairs in my room, and I don't really feel like coming down. You can let yourself in," Brynn told her dryly, and hung up the phone. She heard the front door open and shut, then heard footsteps on the stairs. She looked up when her bedroom door opened and Nyla walked through.
"So what happened to get you upset enough for Chandler to drag me out of Zaiden's arms so early in the morning?" Nyla asked, trying to be playful.
"You know what, I never asked you to come here, so if you don't want to be here, you know where the door is!" Brynn yelled at her, unleashing her anger at the most convenient target.
"Well, at least you're not bawling anymore," Nyla joked, and sat on Brynn's bed next to her. " When I left you both last night, you were happier than I'd ever seen you, and from the way he talked, he was too. What changed so much between last night and this morning?"
Brynn took a minute to gather herself, trying to stay calm and not get upset again. "Ness, last night was perfect! It was so amazing, probably the best night of my life. We made love, and it was everything I could have hoped it could be and more. He was mind blowing. Then we slept in each other's arms, and had a repeat performance this morning."
"Sounds good so far," Nyla said with a grin.
"Both times after we made love, I wanted to tell him how I felt about him. I didn't do it last night, but this morning I couldn't resist. We were lying there, both so comfortable, and I told him how I felt. I poured my heart out to him, then told him I loved him. And do you know what he said?"
Brynn paused, tears coming to her eyes again. "He said, 'I love you too, Brooklyn.'"
Nyla drew in a breath. "Holy shit."
"Yeah. Whether he was calling me her name, or if he was imagining Brooklyn while we had sex, I don't know. But do you know how much it hurt me?" Brynn pressed her hands to her chest, right over her heart. "Here I am thinking that we may actually have a shot at a relationship, then he says that."
"Well..."
"Obviously I mean nothing to him, and he was just using me for sex. Well, I'm glad he got his rocks off because it's the last time he touches me!" The tears poured from Brynn's eyes. Nyla sighed and opened her arms. Brynn fell into them, sobbing like a child.
"Ah, sweetie. Did you let him explain?"
Brynn sniffled. "He obviously saw no problem with it. He didn't apologize, and he didn't seem to think he did anything wrong."
"Well, when he called me, he had no clue what happened. He said he woke up to you yelling at him, then you took off. Maybe he has no clue what he said," Nyla tried to reason.
"But the fact is he still said 'Brooklyn'. You know how hard it was for me to tell him how I felt about him? And the whole time, he has Brooklyn on his mind? I can't deal with it anymore. I can't keep getting hurt by him," Brynn said, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Nyla had no idea what to say to Brynn, and they both knew it.
"Thanks for coming over," Brynn said, letting her off the hook. "It helped to talk to you about this, but you don't need to be here to hold my hand. Go home to Zaiden. I'm just going to shower and get ready for Barrett to come home."
"Are you sure? You know that I'll always be there for you. No man will ever get in the way of that," Nyla told her.
"I know. But really, go home and let Zaiden start your day off right. At least one of us should be happy right now."
Nyla looked at her. "You need to talk to Chandler."
"No."
The answer was crystal clear, both in sound and in tone. Nyla had rarely heard Brynn sound so certain.
"Well, call me if you need anything?"
"I will. Thanks."
Brynn gave Nyla a hug, and went into the bathroom to start her shower. She could still smell Chandler on her clothes and all over her body. It was enough to get her crying again as she turned on the water.
Nyla let herself out of Brynn's house, but before she got into her car to go back home, she had a pit stop to make.
Hearing someone pounding on his front door, Chandler ran downstairs, putting his shirt on as he opened the door.
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nyla asked, as she pushed right past Chandler and walked into his house.
"If I knew what I did, then I would be able to defend myself a lot better!" Chandler protested.
"You don't think there is anything wrong with either thinking about Brooklyn while you and Brynn are having sex, or calling her Brooklyn?"
"What are you talking about?" Chandler was confused.
"Brynn poured her heart out to you, telling you that she fell for you, and that she loves you, and what do you say back to her? 'I love you too, Brooklyn'? Probably not the right choice of words." Nyla planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. "What were you thinking!? How could you do that to her?"
"Wait, what? She told me she loved me?" Chandler asked, his heart dropping to the floor.
"Yeah, then you go and screw it up. It killed her when you said Brooklyn's name."
"She loves me?" Chandler asked, a small smile spreading across his face.
"Well, she did, but I doubt she does anymore. You really crushed her."
"Nyla, I had no clue she told me that. I fell asleep right after we made love this morning. She was drawing on my chest, and it put me right to sleep. I was so far in dreamland, and didn't wake up until she was screeching at me."
"That's no excuse."
"I had no idea she was even talking to me!" Chandler exploded. He ran his hands through his hair. "What am I going to do? I have to make this right!"
"Don't think you're going to get a chance anytime soon, lover boy. She is seriously hating you right now," Nyla told him. "But either way, obviously you were dreaming about Brooklyn right after you had sex with Brynn, or else you wouldn't have said her name. Still not a good move on your part."
"I was dreaming that I was introducing Brynn and Brooklyn, and Brooklyn was giving me her blessing to go ahead with the relationship with Brynn. I was so happy to know that Brooklyn said I could move on, and then I wake up and Brynn is screaming at me..."
"Well, now you don't need to move on. You've lost her now," Nyla pointed out, moving toward the door.
"It's not over yet," Chandler swore. "I won't give up on her. I'm going to do something to make this right. I have to get her back..."
"Well, good luck with that." Nyla headed toward the door, but then stopped to look back at him with a sarcastic eyebrow raised. "Try not to call out Brooklyn's name any more today, okay?"
Nyla left Chandler standing there, everything now becoming crystal clear, trying to think of a way to get Brynn to come back to him.
Chapter 16
Two weeks had passed for Chandler and Brynn since that dreadful morning. Two weeks filled with rejected flower deliveries, unanswered phone calls, and a tortuous silence. Two weeks filled with the sorrow and anguish of what could have been, but was lost in a moment.
Brynn tried to maintain her resolve and stay strong over the two weeks, and she did, but not without the help of her savior, Nyla. Her best friend was there every day, helping her through her lonely nights, her doubts, her fears, and her tears. Nyla had tried to make Brynn listen to reason, telling her that maybe she should let Chandler explain, but she found that when it came to matters of the heart, reason did not always prevail.
"Ness, what happened to me? I used to be such a strong person. Things like this never got to me. Something bad would happen, I'd deal with it, then move on. I feel like I can't get past this. I feel like I am a weak perso
n now, crying all the time, wondering if I will ever find happiness again," Brynn asked Nyla as they sat in her living room.
"Brynn, you had real feelings for this guy, and you felt like he broke your heart. It's not something that you get over right away. Look at me, a guy broke my heart in high school, and now I am finally learning to get over it, after how many years? Don't let that happen to you. I look back on my life since then, and I was pretty bitter towards guys, causing myself a hell of a lot of heartache. How many good guys did I let loose just because I was afraid to get hurt again? What if I hadn't met Zaiden to pull me out of it? Would I have been alone for the rest of my life?"
Nyla sighed. "I really think you need to talk this out with Chandler. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but maybe you should listen to what he has to say for himself. Just talk to him is all I'm suggesting."
"I don't know Nyla. Don't you think it's easier to just make a clean break?"
"A clean break? Think about it Brynn, you live next door to the guy, and because of that, you see him all the time. Not to mention that your son is best friends with his daughter. Do you honestly think that you will ever have a truly clean break from him while you're living here?"
"So you think I should move?"
"You know that's not what I'm saying! What I'm trying to tell you is that you can't live the rest of your life avoiding him. That's not going to do any good for anyone...besides, it's virtually impossible. You need to at least talk to him, get past this awkwardness, and if you aren't going to be with him, at least get over the whole 'I'm pretending that he doesn't exist' phase."
"Aren't I supposed to be the reasonable one here?" Brynn groaned.
"Well, yeah, but you haven't exactly been listening to reason over the past two weeks. Now, how would you like to set up this little conference? Would you like me to be there to mediate, or do you want to do it on your own?"
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