“I think they’re beautiful.”
“I might have extra copies stored in a drawer I can give you, along with the thumb drives.”
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
The rest of the pictures were every bit as amazing and wonderful and adorable. The girls sleeping side by side in their bassinets. Lying atop a blanket in a sunny spot on the floor. Nestled together in Frankie’s lap. Crying while their beaming grandfather held them. Happily waving their arms in the air as they sat in some kind of baby seat.
“I wish I’d been there,” Spence said without thinking, and realized with a start how much he really did wish it.
Frankie turned her face to his, and tears shone in her eyes. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“Aw, honey. Don’t cry.”
She didn’t scold him for calling her by his favorite endearment. Encouraged, Spence put an arm around her.
They sat like that for a minute or two. She shifted, and he considered removing his arm before she did it for him. Instead, she angled her body toward him and lifted her chin.
What the...? He gazed down at her, momentarily confused. This was something she’d done when they were dating and wanted him to kiss her.
Wait. Take a breath. Think.
He had to be mistaken, right? Kiss her? When she’d very clearly set boundaries? The next instant, she raised her mouth, his whispered name on her lips as she lightly pressed them to his. Spence didn’t move at first. Then he did.
Not all old habits were bad. He and Frankie slipped into this one with such ease, they might have never stopped. And it felt good. Right. Natural.
Spence suppressed a groan. He’d always loved their hot, hungry kisses. But the truth was these soft, tender, sweet ones totally undid him, reaching places inside him no one had before and probably never would.
Sure, he still wanted to whisk her off to bed. He was a guy, after all, with a healthy sex drive. His reasons, however, stemmed from his heart rather than satisfying any physical need.
His hands traveled a familiar path, raising to cradle her cheeks and tilting her head to the perfect angle. With minimal coaxing from him, her lips parted, and the first taste of her nearly sent him over the edge. He held himself in check, though how long he’d last was questionable.
Suddenly, the photo album shifted on her lap, a subtle reminder their timing wasn’t the best. If not for that, Spence would have gone on kissing Frankie all night and into the next morning.
“That was...” He needed air. A dousing with cold water. Something to clear his head.
“Yeah,” she agreed, her gaze roaming his face. “It was.”
He smiled, hoping that was what she wanted to see. Apparently not, for she wordlessly closed the photo album and set it on the coffee table.
“Mommy, I’m thirsty.”
Hearing Sienna’s small voice, Spence froze. Frankie, on the other hand, was already halfway to her feet.
* * *
FRANKIE FOLLOWED SIENNA into the kitchen, her heart pounding like the bass drum in a marching band.
It’s okay. Don’t panic. She didn’t see anything.
Sienna’s unconcerned behavior set off no alarms. Nonetheless, Frankie cringed. How could she have been so stupid?
Back when she and Spence were dating and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, getting carried away was a regular occurrence. But in those days, she hadn’t been a mother with two children in the house. In the next room!
“Just a few sips, okay? You know you can’t drink too much before bed.”
She handed Sienna a cup of water while checking the stove clock. Eight thirty? Already?
Spence appeared in the doorway, filling it with his broad-shouldered frame. “Can I help?”
“We’re good,” Frankie said, her sense of control returning. “I’m going to get the girls ready for bed. I won’t be long.”
He stepped aside. “Good night, angel face.” The smile he gave Sienna was filled with affection, as was the tone of his voice. “Tell your sister I’ll see her later.”
Sienna practically glowed, and Frankie’s resistance wavered. She’d robbed Spence and her daughters of these precious moments for years. Robbed herself, too. Not to mention Spence’s parents. In all fairness, she couldn’t let it continue.
“Come on, Mommy.” Sienna tugged on Frankie’s hand.
There might never be an ideal time to tell the girls about Spence, regardless of how long they waited. And given the chance, she’d procrastinate indefinitely, as previously proved. Perhaps they should just do it.
She met Spence’s gaze, searched his eyes and felt her conviction grow. “Would you like to help tuck them in? Tell them a story?” She inclined her head. At his arched brows, she nodded and mouthed, “Yes.”
“Um, okay. Yeah.”
“Let me get them changed into their pajamas and their teeth brushed.” That would give them both time to pull their thoughts together.
“Sure. Sure.” He shifted and tugged on his shirt collar.
Seeing him struggle for composure somehow boosted Frankie’s confidence. “Don’t worry. We’ll all be fine. I promise,” she said, and believed it.
There were bound to be a few difficult questions to answer. Hurt feelings and confusion. Perhaps some tears. Eventually, this night would be a memory. If she and Spence handled themselves well, the memory would be a cherished one.
“Let’s go, sweetie.” She shepherded Sienna down the hall and to the girls’ bedroom.
Having an established bedtime routine didn’t stop the twins from dragging their feet. There was always some excuse to delay the inevitable. Not wanting to wear the same pajamas a second night in a row. One of the dogs chewed a favorite hair tie. The red shirt or blue shorts or pink socks weren’t clean for preschool tomorrow and nothing else would do.
Finally, the girls were ready and sitting on their beds, faces scrubbed and teeth brushed. Frankie’s prior reservations started to return, which shouldn’t have surprised her. She had been going back and forth since the day she’d taken the home pregnancy test.
“Read Dr. Seuss.” Paige requested another of their bedtime rituals.
Would Spence understand her indecision and agree to wait? Not likely, and not when he was readying himself even now.
Frankie bolstered her courage. “Tonight, we’re going to do something different.” She went around the room, collecting toys and putting them away. “I—we,” she corrected herself, “are going to tell you a story. A true story. Wait here.” Padding to the end of the hall, she peeked around the corner and beckoned Spence. He stood in the living room, staring at the pictures on the wall and restlessly tapping one booted foot. “We’re ready.”
He turned quickly, as if a shot had been fired, then visibly attempted to shake off his nerves. When he approached, she reached out and, taking his hand, squeezed his fingers. Rather than let go, she continued holding his hand as they walked down the hall to the girls’ room.
At the doorway, they paused. Paige and Sienna stared, uncertainty on their faces.
Frankie produced a bright smile and entered, Spence behind her.
He looked slowly around the room, taking in the matching twin beds, covered by Disney Princess spreads, which in turn were covered by stuffed animals and dolls. On the wall above the side-by-side dressers, Dr. Seuss characters pranced and frolicked among printed sayings like “One fish, two fish,” and “From there to here, and here to there.”
Taking the chair from the corner, which usually just collected discarded clothes, Frankie moved it to the center of the room and indicated for Spence to sit. She then settled next to Paige and motioned for Sienna to join them. With a child nestled on each side of her, she began, conscious of every word she uttered.
“I need both of you to listen carefully, okay?”
Paige and Sienna exchanged cautious glances before directing them at Spence. He fidgeted, but only slightly.
“We will,” Paige spoke for both her and her sister.
“Earlier today, Mommy told you that Spence and I went to school together and have known each other a long time. Well, there’s a lot more we didn’t tell you. Spence is someone very special to me.” Frankie reminded herself to breathe. Here was the first hard part. “He was my boyfriend. You know what that is, right?”
“You liked him,” Paige said.
Naturally, her more precocious daughter caught on. Cara’s stepson, Nathan, attended the same preschool as the girls. Paige had taken a shine to him some months ago. That was until he scribbled all over her backpack with a marker and made her cry.
“I did like him.” Frankie sent Spence a small smile. “I still do.” She didn’t want the girls detecting any discomfort between them.
“I like your mother, too,” he added. “Very much.”
Paige and Sienna listened intently, though confusion continued to cloud their features. Frankie needed to get to the point soon.
“Four years ago, Spence left. For a job. In California.” Not entirely accurate. He’d drifted before hiring on at Cottonwood Farms. But that was superfluous information best saved for another day. “After he left, I found out I was going to have a baby. Two babies.”
Frankie paused, purposely slowing down her racing thoughts. This was a defining moment in their lives. Everything would be different from now on. She absolutely needed to say the right thing.
Spence rose from the chair, startling her. As she blinked in astonishment, he went over to Sienna’s bed and sat down directly across from them. He was so close, his knees bumped Frankie’s.
Leaning forward, he regarded each girl, his expression serious, yet reassuring. “What your mom’s trying to tell you is I’m your dad.”
At Spence’s declaration, Paige sat up straight. Sienna gasped softly and clutched a plush elephant to her chest.
“I had no idea until the other day. But now that I know, I couldn’t be happier.” A wide grin spread across his face. “You both are everything I’ve ever wanted in a daughter. Pretty and smart and absolutely adorable.”
Paige and Sienna twisted to gape at Frankie, eyes wide and mouths open.
“Mommy...?”
She drew them close, hugging their small bodies. All in all, Spence was doing a good job. Better than she’d expected. Ultimately, however, she believed the girls would take their cue from her. If she projected uncertainty or anxiety, they would become uncertain or anxious.
“I’m happy too,” she said brightly. “I’ve been hoping your daddy would come home.”
“And I’m here to stay,” he added.
Wait. Were those tears in his eyes? She’d seen Spence get emotional only once before, that last time when she’d told him they were through, and she didn’t want to see him again.
“Don’t worry.” His voice broke. “We’re going to take our time getting to know each other.”
“Yes, we are,” Frankie agreed. “No rush.”
“Why did you go?” Sienna asked Spence.
Here it was. One of those difficult questions.
“I had a job.” He wisely stuck to the basics. “Your mom didn’t want me to go. We had a big fight. But if we’d known she was having you two, nothing would have made me leave.”
Frankie waited, hoping they didn’t ask why she’d kept her pregnancy a secret.
“Will you live with us?”
Whew. Paige’s question was much easier to answer. “No, sweetie, he’s not.”
“Why?”
“Well...” Okay, maybe not that easy.
Spence cut in, once again impressing her. “Your mom and I haven’t seen each other for four years. We decided I should stay at my own place for now.”
His explanation was probably more than Paige and Sienna understood. Even so, they seemed satisfied.
Spence went on to tell them about their other grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousins, which the girls found very exciting.
“Can we see them?” Paige beamed.
“Of course.”
“When?”
“Soon. They’ll be happy, too.”
Though the hardest part was past them, more difficult questions were bound to arise. Possibly for years to come as the girls matured. Frankie thought about checking with the administrator of the local support groups that met at the church in town. Maybe the woman could recommend a counselor to help guide and advise them.
Feeling the effects of the last hour like a heavy weight on her shoulders, Frankie patted the girls’ knees. “Mr. Sandman’s been waiting long enough, and we have an early morning.”
Of course they protested, with claims of not being tired.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Spence stood and fondly caressed each twin’s cheek. “Good night.”
They remained a little reserved. Frankie assumed that was normal under the circumstance.
“I won’t be long,” she said, as he left the room.
Rather than kiss the girls and shut off the light, she stayed and sang them a song. Before long, their eyelids started to droop.
“Can we sleep with you if we get scared?” Sienna turned on her side and snuggled her stuffed elephant in her arms.
“Yes.” Frankie tucked each girl in. “But there’s nothing to be scared of.”
Paige rubbed her eyes and murmured, “Do we call him Daddy?”
Frankie had anticipated this question. “Only if you want to.”
A minute later, she tiptoed away, leaving the door slightly ajar. She found Spence standing at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee from a mug.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said. “I helped myself to some instant decaf.”
“Not at all.”
He lifted his mug. “Want some? You look like you could use a boost.”
She shook her head. “I am tired, though.”
“Too tired to talk?”
“Can we wait until tomorrow? I have the first shift at the café.”
“I’d like to start paying child support. Right away.”
Apparently, he hadn’t heard her. “I’m not going to refuse you. We just need to agree on how much.”
“I did some asking around. Called a couple divorced buddies.” He named a monthly sum. “That’s about average.”
It was more than average. Frankie had done her own checking, off and on in recent years. “That’s too much.” She named an amount she considered fair.
“I can afford more.”
“You’re starting a horse farm and will need money. Besides, you’ve already given me ten thousand dollars for my catering business.” Something she still didn’t feel quite right about.
“That’s different.”
She pushed her hair back from her face. “Really, I’m exhausted. Mentally and physically. Can we please postpone this until tomorrow?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just can’t believe how well Paige and Sienna took the news.”
Frankie supposed he wasn’t being intentionally naive. Just brand-new to parenting. “They’re still processing. I fully expect them to struggle and have more questions. Possibly require some counseling.”
“They’ll be fine. You worry too much.”
His tone struck her as dismissive and rubbed her the wrong way. Crossing her arms over her middle, she said, “I don’t want you to hurt the girls. They’re young. And emotionally fragile.”
“Why would I hurt them?”
“Maybe not intentionally.”
“Not for any reason.”
“When you’re a p
arent, your children come first. Every decision you make must take them into consideration.”
“I get it.” A small furrow creased his brow. “Like I told you and them, I’m staying.”
“Forgive me for being frank, but I’ve heard that before, and yet you left.”
She could practically see his hackles rise. Well, too bad. She would protect Paige and Sienna at all costs. Even at the expense of her relationship with Spence.
“Guess I was wrong,” he said. “Things didn’t go that well tonight.”
“They did. But Paige and Sienna could still have problems adjusting.”
“Young children adapt quickly.”
“And you know this because you have so much experience at parenting?”
He gave a dry, humorless chuckle. “You haven’t changed one bit.”
Frankie instantly stiffened. “What does that mean?”
“You still don’t want me involved in our daughters’ lives.”
“That’s not true.”
“No? You’re pushing me away. At the very least, making damn sure I know the boundaries.”
“You’re being unfair.”
“Am I?” Setting down the mug, he squeezed past her and went to the living room.
Huffing, she spun, annoyed that he’d forced her into going after him. He’d grabbed his cowboy hat off the coffee table and was heading for the door.
“Spence.”
“You’re tired, Frankie. You said so yourself.” He turned the knob. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Fine. I’ll call you.”
That seemed to amuse him, for he gave another dry chuckle before leaving.
Frankie half stormed, half walked to her bedroom, deciding to shower away the tension coursing through her. She wasn’t wrong. The girls needed more than one little talking to, no matter how well it went, in order to adjust. Hadn’t Sienna asked if they could sleep with Frankie? Deep down, they were grappling with insecurities.
Spence never looked beyond the immediate present. That recklessness and impulsiveness, she supposed, was a part of his charm. It was also a huge contributor to their past problems and, clearly, their current ones. Shame on her for not learning her lesson.
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