by Haven Rose
"Ryan, are you okay?"
My mom has always been able to discern my moods. I should've known today would be no different. "I'm good, Mom. Better than I have been in a long time." She watches me curiously, but before she can say or ask anything else, I hear my dad call out from the living room.
"Is that Ryan?"
As we walk into the other room, I call out, "Yeah, Dad. It's me. I came over to talk to you guys about something."
Neither respond, but instead look at each other in silent communication. At that, my loneliness really hits. I want that, badly. I force those thoughts from my mind though, telling myself I'm taking the first step toward a new beginning, and hopefully that means in my personal life as well.
"I'm just going to come out and say it, and then we can go from there." I take a deep breath after that, then just blurt out, "I'm leaving the force. I just can't handle it anymore, this feeling like I'm not making any difference. It's getting to me more and more as the years go by, and I know, for my health, my sanity, I need to move on." Then I just wait, and their responses are exactly what I thought they'd be, supportive.
From my mom, "Honey, I won't deny how relieved I am knowing you won't be in so much danger anymore, but I want to make sure you're truly happy with this choice." My dad, the former cop, "I get it, Ryan. I really do. It's a hard life, and it's emotionally draining, not to mention the physical strain it can put on you. I know you, which means I also know you've been thinking about this for a while, probably longer than you even knew before deciding." Dad is one of those men that doesn't say a lot, but when he does, you listen, knowing you're about to hear something insightful, helpful, and just like now, completely accurate. How did he know?
"Thank you both, it means a lot. I'm not sure what's next, but, and this is the hardest part to tell you, I don't feel like I'll find it here. I need a change, I'm just not sure where that will take me."
Again, that talking without words that truly connected couples can pull off. What Dad says next surprises me, and yet, it feels right. "You remember my old Army buddy, Will Shepherd?" I nod, because Will, at least a decade younger than my dad, has been a part of my life since I was a kid, though it's been years since I've seen him.
Dad continues, "Well, we were talking a few days ago, and he was asking about you. I told him I had a feeling you were close to hitting that point both he and I have experienced. He worked through his, but what you don't know is mine came the same week I was injured when you were in high school."
I grow quiet, remembering that time. Dad wasn't injured too badly, though it was enough to end his career, but it was scary, really bringing the possible dangers of his career choice, and mine, into question. It led to some thinking on my part, yet I still knew I was on the right path for me. As if Dad knew I needed it, he had fallen silent as well, and then seeing I was okay, resumed talking.
"He wanted to know if he could do anything to help, and I jokingly asked if they needed a deputy. He said they did, and if you were interested, to fill out the application online. Then he said, if you're anything like your old man, he knows you'd want to be hired on your own merit, so he'd understand if you didn’t mention your connection to him or wanted to downplay it at least."
"He's in Colebrook, right? About two and a half hours away? I could easily drive there for an interview, and if I get hired, it wouldn't be hard to visit you guys over a weekend. Hmm...this might be just what I needed. I can remain a cop, which I like. It's just all the other crap that goes along with it I can do without. But, in a smaller town, I don't see that being such a problem."
Mom stands and walks out, returning moments later with their laptop. Without saying a word, she hands it to me, already knowing I'm going to apply. After entering the website Dad had written down, I begin filling out the application, seeing that it states if they're interested in further information, such as any commendations received, etc., they'll contact me. I submit it, making a mental note to prepare it just in case.
We talk for a few more hours, including over the lunch they insisted I stay for, about other things, avoiding our previous topic. I return home later that afternoon, and set about making a to do list, including everything I need to have ready in case Will's station asks for it, and what I would need to do if I were to move. Knowing I'll feel better once I've completed the first item on it, I begin typing up my resignation letter.
Chapter Three
Ruby
Two days later...
It's Monday again. Didn't we just have one of those? It surely can't be time for another already. I look at my phone, double checking the date, and yeah, it's Monday. And that means it's time to get out of my cozy bed and begin my day. As I make breakfast for Dad and me, letting Boots out, I start making a mental list of what I need to accomplish today.
First, coffee. Umm, what comes after first? Oh yeah, I remember. Thank you, magic brain brew. I need to head to the campus to turn in an assignment, then take a final for my current course. Which means, once I do those, I only have one class, mostly online, left until I'm done. After that, I'll work on a few projects for some clients, then cover the afternoon shift at the hardware store. My dad is heading out of town for a couple days to visit his younger brother, Joseph, and I promised to close today, as well as open tomorrow and stay until Alex, a high school senior working for money to buy a car, started his closing shift. My Uncle Joseph didn’t want to work at the hardware store. He left Colebrook after graduating college and has only been back for visits since.
Dad came in, ready for the day, and walked straight to the coffee pot. Obviously, I get my need for the life-saving liquid honestly. We talk about our day as we eat, stopping only to let Boots in, then laugh as he promptly sits by Dad's chair, knowing he's the softie that will give him some bacon. I love my dog, but come on, it's bacon. Okay, I always give him a piece too. Yeah, Boots has us trained.
As I head to the campus an hour later, I see Bobby's car pull in ahead of me. Yes, bug Bobby. There has never been anything romantically between us, nor even the thought of trying. We're best friends, viewing one another as the sibling neither of us had been given. Though we're studying different fields, with him attending more classes in person, sometimes our schedules line-up. He notices me parking and waits for me to join him.
"Rubik's," he hollers out. Yeah, he started that nickname when we were kids after seeing an article online. It apparently was a toy based upon finding the right strategy to solve it during our parents' time. Bobby thought it was funny to compare me to it back then, and to this day, says he still hasn't figured me out, and I always reply with "Bug off, Bobby." Silly, I know, but it's our thing.
"Hey, Bobby," I say, returning his wave. We chat as we make our way inside, then head our separate ways after agreeing to meet up for coffee soon. I head to my class, placing my assignment on the professor's desk on the way to my seat.
"Class, has everyone turned in their final assignment?" Professor Stevens asks. After we all state we had, he begins handing out the test, letting us know we can start as soon as we receive it, and we can access our scores online within the next few days.
Two hours later, mine was turned in, and, after stopping to eat lunch, I headed home, grabbing Boots to take to the hardware store with me. Everyone was used to his presence there, and he loved the attention.
Thankfully, the afternoon went quickly as the store was quite busy. After closing, Boots and I went home, ate a quick dinner, then played outside for a while. We curled up on the couch and I read a book before going to bed.
Tuesday, wake up and repeat, minus the school and closing the store part...okay, so it's a completely different day. I have a feeling something is coming, I just don't know what, and if it'll be good or bad, maybe both. I push it from my mind though, knowing I can't do anything about it either way until it arrives. I let Boots out, then put breakfast in his bowl as I make my own.
At nine o'clock, Boots and I are walking into the store, flipping the sign
to let everyone know we're now open. I'm only here until one, when Alex's shift starts, which will allow me time to do some cleaning at home, as well as getting some work done for a couple clients. Another day has started, and that feeling is still there.
**Ryan**
Ryan was surprised he'd gotten a response so quickly, even more so that they wanted to interview him the next day. So, after using some personal time, he'd gotten the day off and was walking into the Colebrook Police Station for his nine o'clock interview.
Will greeted him, though he acted as if he was guessing his identity, since they weren’t sharing their connection with everyone, Ryan figured everyone knew everyone, so chances were an unfamiliar face would be the expected applicant. As he was introduced to the Sheriff, James Parker, he took the offered seat as the door was closed. They made small talk for a few minutes, then the interview officially began as the Sheriff started asking his questions. Ryan, never comfortable withholding information, especially as it could later cost him the job he was starting to realize he really wanted, decided to be honest with his potential boss.
"Sir, I apologize for interrupting, but I have a confession to make. Everything on there is true, except for one thing. Will is a long-time family friend, having served with my father years ago, and has known me since I was born." Ryan then sat quietly, hoping he didn't just ruin his chances. Surprisingly enough, the Sheriff wasn't upset, but he was curious as to why he didn't state that on the application. When Ryan explained that he wanted to be considered for the job, and hopefully hired, based upon his own achievements, the Sheriff said he understood that, and respected Ryan for telling him.
After a couple hours, including discussing the duties for the position as well as salary, Ryan was offered the job, and accepted, thanking the Sheriff for the opportunity. As it was still early having just reached twelve, the Sheriff suggested Ryan walk around his new town to get acquainted with it. He also let him know one of the residents had a house currently available to rent and where he could find them, which was the small realtor's office on the main road.
Ryan decided to walk as the Sheriff's Department wasn't too far away from where he needed to go, plus, it gave him a chance to really explore the area. There was just something so relaxing about the place, giving Ryan a peaceful feeling he hadn't experienced in far too long. As he neared his destination, he passed Harry's Hardware, and, as he'd done with the others, glanced inside. However, this one had something the others didn't. The woman was beautiful. Red hair that appeared to reach at least midway down her back, and her eyes were either blue or green, not the typical dark you'd associate with that hair color. But it was her smile that truly captured his attention as she laughed at something her customer said. As cliché as it sounded, she glowed from within, lighting up the darkness that had invaded Ryan for so long because of his job. The peace he felt on the walk over made sense now because he was on his way here, to her. That's why it grew stronger with each step.
Ryan suddenly remembered a talk he'd had with his dad years ago. He’d asked how he knew Mom was the one for him, and his dad simply said, "You'll know." At the time, Ryan had gotten frustrated, unable to understand why his dad wouldn't explain further. Those two words didn't help at all because it made no sense. Now, it did. His dad hadn't said anything else because words weren't enough. It was just a feeling that came over you and it was indescribable. In an instant, you see your entire future, and though you may not even know the name of your future wife, the mother of your children, your everything yet. Ryan knew he sounded crazy, and probably looked it just standing there, memorizing everything about her, but he didn't care. His dad was right, you do just know.
A beeping noise pulled Ryan from his thoughts, and he realized it was his cell phone. He saw his mom's number and smiled, knowing she had resisted asking about the interview as long as she could. Taking one last look, vowing to stop in and introduce himself after securing the rental property, after all, he needed to have a place to make her dinner, he answered his phone as he walked away.
Ryan let his mom know he'd gotten the job and was on his way to meet the realtor. He didn't tell her he'd just spotted her future daughter-in-law though; fully aware she and his dad would be in the car and on the way to Colebrook before he even finished that sentence. He loved his parents, deeply, but he wanted to savor this a little longer, and have the time to get to know all about her before he had to share her with anyone.
He finished his call and walked into the realtor's office, not at all surprised when he was greeted warmly by name. The Sheriff had called ahead, letting Mr. Johnson know Ryan was on his way, and of course, as the man didn't recognize him, he had to be the new guy. You have to love small towns.
Almost an hour later, signed papers and keys in hand, Ryan gave him a check to cover expenses for a deposit and the first month of rent, which worked out nicely as Ryan would finish out the month at his current job, then move over the holiday weekend. Shortly after one, Ryan was making his way back to Harry's, preparing for one of the biggest moments of his life, only to find his angel was gone. Well, Ryan thought, trying to fight his disappointment, she obviously works at the store, and he'd be there, permanently, in less than two weeks, so he'd meet her soon. But, until then, knowing she exists would have to be enough.
**Ruby**
Upon returning home, Ruby spent some time playing with Boots, then fixed lunch. Her dad wouldn't be home until later that night, so she also started dinner in the slow cooker. Feeling as if she'd done all she could, she made some hot tea and went into her office. Technically, it was her dad's, but she used his desk as well.
As she walked into the room, her gaze strayed, as always, to the desk closest to the window. It was her mom's and hadn't been touched in over a decade, aside from her dad going through the paper files to contact her out of town clients. Ruby dusted the desktop from time to time, but left everything as is, knowing her dad just wasn't ready to let go of it. Her parents had spent many hours in here together, doing their respective work, content in having the other so close. Ruby allowed the sadness to seep in, the knowledge of all her mom had missed in life. It just wasn't fair, then again, death rarely is.
Pushing her thoughts away, Ruby sat down and organized her notes before getting to work. She had a few projects to complete, such as finalizing the logo designs for two clients and sketching a variety of options for another to choose from. Taking a break a few hours later after finishing everything, she brewed a new cup of tea, then went back to the office, needing to return a call from someone asking about her services.
As it began ringing, Ruby realized she hadn't grabbed her notebook to write down the clients wishes, ideas, etc. Knowing she wouldn't have time to retrieve it from her bag, she searched the desk, confident her dad would have one as she waited to be transferred. It wasn't until she reached the last drawer, yanking it open when it stuck, that she found one. It was a little bent, which she assumed meant it was the reason it was hard to open. Oh well, it would work for what she needed. Flipping to the end so she wouldn't interfere with anything her dad was using it for, she made her notes while discussing what the caller was looking for. After agreeing to have some preliminary ideas to them within a week, Ruby thanked them for contacting her and ended the call.
Ruby made some final notes on the paper before removing it from the notebook. Unfortunately, clumsiness struck, and it fell before she could stop it. Bending over to pick it up, she realized it was almost full of her dad's handwriting and sees her mom's name circled at the top of one page, then glances at that entry, thinking she discovered love letters he'd written to her mom. Though Ruby knows if she's right, these are private thoughts she shouldn't read, but she can't help it, still enthralled with her parents' love story all these years later, even though they didn't get the happily ever after they deserved. As she skims through them, Ruby notices they’re dated differently, which makes sense if they’re love notes. But as I starts to read them, I quickly learn how wrong
I am about what I’ve found.
I know nothing will bring back my Joy, but I’ve decided to write down some things as I remember them, and that’s because though she’s been gone for a while, I’ve begun having dreams I guess you could say, that she’s trying to tell me something. I figure if I write everything down, maybe that’ll help.
The beginning of the year was like usual. We both worked, making sure to always have time for one another and Ruby, knowing nothing was more important than family.
Joy wished she had more customers and is thinking of advertising in the paper. I offered to set up a display in Harry’s.
New display seems to be helping. Joy’s received a few phone calls from locals, some having no idea she even did this, others from people passing through or visiting family.
Man stopped into Harry’s in early May. Didn’t like him for some reason. He was just off, and that’s the only way to label it. Well, he seemed smarmy, but he was in town visiting family, though he didn’t say who. I’m assuming I know them as it’s a small town and he seemed familiar, so I figure he resembles them, whoever they are. He seemed interested in Joy’s services, asking quite a few questions about her qualifications before taking a card.
Few weeks before the accident, Joy had spoken with the hardware store man and accepted him as a client. She received flash drive, though she had problems with it. Tried to call him numerous times, never received a call back.
Joy is gone. I still can’t believe it. My heart is breaking without her, but I need to be strong for our precious jewel. She needs me now more than ever.
Something isn’t right, aside from losing the love of my life. I’ve called all her clients to let them know she’s gone, but the man from Harry’s is still nowhere to be found. I called his cell, his work, and sent an email as well, and haven’t received any acknowledgement. He was probably fired. The guy just didn’t seem right, and maybe they’d had enough. Plus, you’d think he’d be more concerned about the files he gave Joy and the work she was doing for him.