by Ana Newfolk
I wished I was as certain about potentially seeing Isaac again.
Maybe this was the opportunity I needed to set the record straight. After all, our best friends were together. Joel had always come first, and always would, so I needed to do this for him too.
Sitting up, I made my decision to go to Portugal. I would put my feelings aside for Joel’s benefit and make sure Isaac and I were friends. I didn’t know when it was that I started lying to myself, but as Joel called me down for dinner, I decided to also put that thought away.
Chapter Six
Isaac
Lisbon
When I got the call from Dorian to help with Diogo’s trip and reconnection with his family, I couldn’t have been more excited. I wanted to work with the LGBT Liberty Center in New York and this was a good opportunity for one of our kids to go abroad and experience a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
We did a contest, but in the end it was one girl who wanted to teach languages that got the opportunity.
Marcia had barely stopped talking about it since I told her she was the one to go to New York. Unlike a lot of the kids, Marcia had a good supportive family, but she struggled financially. It was the opportunity of a lifetime for her.
I’d been so busy with work and travel arrangements over the last week, I had given no thought to the fact that Max was the one who was chaperoning Diogo.
At first I’d been in shock when Dorian told me. I couldn’t believe Max wanted to come anywhere near me and my Center, but then again I knew how committed he was to Liberty Center so it didn‘t surprise me that he’d put his feelings aside to help someone out.
What he didn’t know was that I had a plan to get him alone so we could talk things through. I just hoped he accepted my olive branch.
The arrivals area at Lisbon airport was busy as usual. I was early, thanks to my nervous energy, so I’d sat in one of the cafés near the arrivals walkway with a bottle of water. I was pretty sure a coffee wouldn’t help my already-racing heart or quieten the butterflies in my stomach.
When my hands were free again, I started fidgeting. The flight had just landed, but since they still had to go through customs and collect their luggage I knew they wouldn’t be out for a while.
I was playing with my phone absentmindedly when it buzzed in my hands, causing me to nearly drop it on the floor.
“Hey, bro, guess what?” Alex said, so excited I could only guess Sofia had reached another milestone in her development.
“Let me think, Sofia asked if she could spend the weekend with her favorite uncle?” I tried.
“Not quite. Her only words are Ma and Mama. I’ve even tried bribing her, but it looks like the girls are sticking together on this one.”
“Maybe because she knows you’ll give her a snack anyway.” At nine months old, my niece already had both her dad and I wrapped around her little finger. Not that I’d have it any other way.
“Yeah she’s fickle that way. What I rang for is that we have a date for her christening in February and we’d like you to be Sofia’s godfather.”
“Oh, Alex,” I choked. “It would be an honor, you know that.”
“I know,” he said, “anyway, are you at the airport yet?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you feel?”
“Nervous,” I confessed. “I know what I want to say to Max but I’m not sure how he’s going to be when he sees me.”
“You’ll be fine. If he’s anything like what you’ve told me he’ll want to hear you out. Plus, no one can ever say no to you.” He laughed.
“Not true, you say no to me all the time.”
“Not for the things that matter, big brother.”
I decided to change the topic since Alex was making too much sense for my liking.
“Can I see her?” He knew exactly what I meant, and in seconds my screen changed to a video call and I could see the beautiful chubby face of my niece, with her rosy cheeks from teething.
“Hello, Popcorn.” She opened her eyes wide and smiled at the sound of my voice. She stretched her arms to hold the phone.
“Sofia,” Alex said, “tell Uncle Isaac how much you love it when he changes your diapers.”
Sofia obliged with a bunch of baby sounds.
“If that’s your way to get me to babysit I’d say you’re out of luck this week.”
“Why don’t you come over for dinner on Friday? Joana is making her mom’s Portuguese stew recipe. I promise it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.”
I chuckled but then stopped in my tracks when I looked at the crowd of people waiting. I couldn’t have missed him. The confident, tall, blond, amazing guy I’d met at Christmas was here.
“Max,” I said to myself. “Alex, I have to go.”
I heard him say, “Bring Max on Friday,” before I ended the call and waved to catch Max’s attention.
My breath caught when his eyes locked on mine and he stopped for a moment before lifting his arm in acknowledgment and spoke to the young guy that was following him.
I checked him out as he made his way toward me, navigating the groups of people hugging and reuniting.
He’d lost weight and the hair I’d loved to run my fingers through was now too short. It looked like a practical cut, and it didn’t suit him in the least. Not that it made him look any less perfect in my eyes.
Diogo was walking two steps behind Max. His face was pale, and he looked like he was struggling with his suitcase.
As soon as they were close enough Max spoke with urgency. “Isaac, Diogo needs to eat. Is there a café here?”
I didn’t know much about Diogo, other than the relevant details of what he was coming to Portugal for, but Dorian had told me he was diabetic and had recently been in hospital, which was the reason Max had wanted to accompany him.
Well, I hoped it wasn’t the only reason.
“This way.” I grabbed hold of Diogo’s suitcase and walked back toward the café I’d sat in earlier.
“What does he need?” I asked Max.
“Just a sandwich and some orange juice.”
I ordered the food, two espressos, and two custard tarts for us while they picked a table. Fortunately, service was fast.
Diogo’s hands were shaking on his lap and Max’s reassuring hand on Diogo’s arm did nothing to mask his worry.
When Diogo had finished his sandwich and half of his juice, color slowly returned to his face and he was no longer shaking. He looked at me and smiled shyly.
“Hi, I’m Diogo.” He held his hand out.
I could swear that was the moment Max realized where he was and the change in Diogo was like a cloud of relief lifting.
“Hi, Diogo, I’m Isaac. How do you feel now?”
“Much better, thanks. I’m sorry I was a little out of it earlier.”
“We fell asleep and missed breakfast,” Max explained. “The air hostess refused to make something for Diogo even though we had all the medical paperwork that showed he needs to eat at regular intervals. She said we were too close to landing.” He sounded frustrated.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’re both here now, and that you’re feeling better, Diogo.”
Max looked at me and the corners of his mouth rose slightly, he then looked at the custard tart in front of him and chuckled.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” I said.
He knew I meant I wouldn’t tell David that he’d eaten a custard tart someone else had made.
This time his smile reached all the way to his eyes and it was like the sun rising after a long dark night.
I noticed Diogo looking at us. How long had we had our eyes locked on each other?
“When you’re ready,” I coughed, “I’ll take you to the Center. Diogo, your grandparents and your uncle will meet us this afternoon. In the meantime, you can rest in one of our rooms and catch up with some sleep or you can meet the other young guys and girls that socialize in the Center.”
We made our way
through Lisbon traffic toward Fundação Arco-Iris, my LGBT Center. Magically, we also found a parking space. I would have to thank the parking gods later.
When we arrived at the Center Tiago was so focused on his computer he jumped as we approached.
I made the introductions, noticing how Tiago’s eyebrows shot up at the sight of Max, and then discreetly gave me a look. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
“He‘s stunning. Remind me again why you didn’t get in touch with him?” Tiago asked under his breath while Max examined the contents of my desk and picked up the Christmas decoration he’d given me.
If only the answer to that question wasn’t that I’d been too afraid of being rejected.
Diogo asked if he could sleep so we took him to the newly renovated floor where we had the emergency accommodation units. Each unit had a phone that connected directly to our desks so he could call us if he needed anything. Once he was settled I offered to give Max a tour of the Center.
I showed him the other units first. I was proud of the work we’d done. To save money we’d done the decorating ourselves over the summer.
Each unit had a different style of decoration but they were all very modern. All had en-suite bathrooms and three had a small kitchen unit. We hadn’t planned on having anyone there long term but we knew too well how long the system took so we’d included cooking facilities to make the units more independent for those unfortunate enough to stay with us longer than a few nights.
After that we went to the kitchen.
“This building used to be a kindergarten so we have a fully equipped industrial kitchen. It’s here that David does his baking workshops for the kids. One of our older kids, Bruno, recently got a job at Café Lima after excelling at the workshops.”
Max nodded but said nothing. I made us a coffee each and took him to the back garden.
“This is a very special part of the project. It was designed and created by the kids that come to the Center to socialize.”
I looked around at everything that made the small, enclosed space a little haven. There were fairy lights in one corner wrapped around an arch made of tree branches, and under the lights there was a comfortable couch we’d got as a donation from a furniture store.
Right next to it there was a box that served as a side table but was also full of books. Some kids loved to pick a book and read for a few hours when they felt like the social rooms upstairs were too noisy.
On the other corner there was a wall, which currently had a big rainbow painted on it. The kids thought that having some kind of art in the garden was nice but it would get boring after a while so they decided that anyone could paint the wall and it would stay on display for some time until it was painted over and someone else had a go. I thought it was a fantastic idea because it allowed them to express themselves without fear of judgment and it also brightened up the place since they all seemed to like bright colors.
In the middle of the garden we had a flower pot display with a few recycled school benches around them so the kids could sit in a circle and chat.
“This is beautiful, Isaac. I remember what you told me about your Center but I didn’t realize it was like this.”
He was looking around and then walked to the sofa under the fairy lights and sat down.
“There’s so much life in here. It feels cozy, safe, familiar. Like everything a home should be.”
“Thank you. When I went to New York, this place was nothing like what it is now. Tiago and I spent a lot of time working on it and the kids have been great. Letting them get involved was the best thing we could have done. Jean-Paul gave me that idea.” I smiled.
Max looked comfortable sitting on the sofa and I was tempted to sit next to him. No, correction, I was tempted to sit ON him, so before I ended up doing just that I grabbed a stool and sat facing him.
“I spoke to Diogo’s uncle yesterday,” I said. “They are very excited to see him, and invited us to meet the family. I think Diogo’s uncle is hoping to move to New York to help Diogo while he’s at university. I think he works for a multinational company and can ask to move to their Manhattan office.”
“That would be great. Diogo will always have a support network at the Liberty Center but there’s nothing like having your own family around.”
I nodded in agreement.
I knew nothing about Max’s family, but from the little David had told me, he’d been close to Joel’s parents. I wondered if he had siblings or an extended family.
Max asked me more questions about the Center and our setup, which I was happy to answer. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been in the garden but in that whole time he’d never touched on anything personal or mentioned what had happened that night at the club.
“Diogo’s family is here,” Tiago said from the doorway.
“Thanks, we’ll get him and be there in five,” I said.
We got up to leave at the same time, which meant we’d ended up only inches away from each other. We were nearly the same height, which was perfect for kissing. I looked into his brown eyes. They were dark and unsure.
“Isaac.”
I put one hand on his chest and his ribcage expanded beneath my touch. Everything in my body was screaming to grab hold of his neck and pull him into a kiss but my brain was currently in charge and stopped me from following through.
“You still have the decoration.”
I was caught off guard by his words.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It reminds me of New York. Of everything that happened and all the possibilities.” I replied honestly, since I was talking about more than us. “Where are you staying?”
“David’s place. I need to rent a car.”
“Will you have dinner with me tonight? I can drive you back to Caparica afterwards. Or you can stay with me.”
“Isaac.” He let out a breath.
“It’s only dinner, Max, I just want to talk, and I have a spare room so you don’t have to go all the way south of the river.”
“Okay. Thanks, I’d appreciate the room, and dinner too, for tonight.”
I smiled at him. “Great, let‘s reunite Diogo with his family.”
Chapter Seven
Max
I was cursing myself for not insisting on getting the rental car and traveling to Isaac’s apartment separately.
Not that I didn’t want to be near Isaac. Quite the opposite, it was more that I needed to get a hold on my feelings, except now I had no choice.
His dinner invitation had come as a surprise but the offer to stay in his spare room was a shock. I’d accepted with some reluctance. Was it a good idea to be in such close proximity?
It was much better to talk in the privacy of his home, so in that respect I was glad.
I was just afraid of how I would react to having Isaac all to myself with no one interrupting.
I’d already decided I wanted to be friends with Isaac no matter how much I wanted more; our best friends were together, and we also had a connection through the LGBTQ Youth Centers.
At best, I could hope for friendship since we were also on different continents.
The drive from the Center to Isaac’s place served as a good distraction.
Driving in Lisbon looked challenging. Nothing made sense. There were roundabouts that were so big they probably had their own zip code. There were roads with four lanes that split into two two-lane roads so if you missed your exit you were basically screwed.
It was also a very charming city I hoped I would have a chance to explore over the next week.
Isaac’s apartment building looked new. In fact, the whole street must have been built around the same time. The road had a partition through the middle that was populated with trees and further down the road that partition became a small square with benches. No doubt to allow the locals to enjoy some outdoor time under the shade of the trees.
I was used to the architectural density of Manhattan, but here, even though we w
ere in the city, it was quiet, and the street wouldn’t have looked out of place in a smaller town.
We didn’t say much on the elevator ride up but I couldn’t have been more aware of Isaac’s presence next to me.
Did he remember when we were last on an elevator together going up the Empire State Building?
Isaac’s eyes were on me. They were dark and searching. No doubt he was as nervous about spending time together as I was even though this had been his idea.
I gave him my best smile, hoping it carried more of the friendship feels rather than the desire I was feeling.
Isaac smiled back and I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a laugh.
“Does this feel like the worst movie ever or what? Come here.” I pulled Isaac toward me for a hug.
It didn’t last long because soon the elevator dinged and the doors opened.
Isaac’s apartment was exactly like him, clean lines with a hint of life you didn’t see until you really paid attention, and when you did you noticed all the individual things that made up the whole.
The first thing that caught my eye was the view. The living room was open-plan with a direct route from the door to the balcony with its wide glass doors. The kitchen was to the left, making it into an open-plan L shape, and I assumed the corridor to the right led to the bedrooms.
I walked toward the balcony doors, pulled in by the amazing panoramic views of the river Tagus and the statue of Christ the Redeemer on the south margin of the river.
“Everybody has the same reaction,” he said.
“It’s stunning, Isaac. How long have you lived here?”
“Two years. I started off renting from the owner after he moved abroad but then he decided to sell up so I bought it from him.”
“Can we go out—ouch,” I shouted as something hit me on my legs and I felt the bite of sharp claws. “What was that?” I turned around to identify my attacker and saw Isaac crouching down on the carpet.