by Ana Newfolk
Lucy had had an idea that I’d dismissed initially, thinking Max would kill me if I did it, but as the weeks progressed and he wasn’t closer to having that conversation, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
Shelly and Jacki, Max’s colleagues from the hospital, had been an amazing help with trying to get the practical stuff arranged, and Fernando had been really generous with his support too.
Tonight, with Lucy’s help, I was going to tell Max that we had flights booked to go to Portugal for a few days over the Thanksgiving weekend since he already had time off work.
The excuse was that I needed to do some work stuff with the Foundation and was missing my family, but in reality it was a poorly disguised excuse for Max to see Joel.
I knew he’d see right through me but I hoped he loved me enough to know it came from the right place in my heart. The place that felt that until this chapter in Max’s life was closed he wouldn’t really move forward.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Max
I knew what Isaac had done was with the best intention but I couldn’t help feeling like I was being strong-armed into doing something I wasn’t ready for.
It wasn’t fair having this conversation in front of Lucy so I gave Isaac a pointed look to follow me to our bedroom.
“What the fuck, Isaac. Why are you pushing me to do this?”
“I’m not pushing you. You don’t have to talk to Joel, but baby, I know you will feel so much better if you do,” he said.
I’d paced the room in the same way I’d done the day Lucy appeared at the apartment.
“And how about Lucy? You know she doesn’t have a passport. How fucking responsible of us to leave a teenager on her own while we go away.” I felt panic rising in my chest.
“Fernando is happy to look after her for the weekend, and she’s looking forward to spending some time with Diogo.”
“This is my decision to make, if and when I’m ever ready. Don’t you understand? Joel will never speak to me again when he finds out I lied all those years. He’ll never forgive me.”
Isaac looked like he’d been punched.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Max.”
“Me too,” I’d said before I’d put some clothes in a duffle bag and left the apartment without even looking at Isaac.
It had been the first time we’d had a real fight and I hadn’t known how to navigate it so I ended up going to Peter and asking if I could stay with him for a couple of nights. Isaac had been heartbroken when I called him to say I wasn’t coming home, but I’d explained I just needed to get my head around the fact I was going to have to face my fears and tell Joel about what had happened to me as a teenager.
It wasn’t just about sharing a little secret; it was about confessing that I’d been lying to him for virtually the whole time he’d known me. Isaac didn’t understand why I couldn’t do this with him, why I’d had to leave to get my head straight. I couldn’t explain either, I just needed the space.
When I came back home things were different. Isaac was distant and started spending a lot more time at work. He made excuses saying that he wanted to make sure Dorian and Jean-Paul knew everything was running smoothly.
Lucy had also started spending a lot more time in her bedroom or with Diogo, and she was quieter, like she was afraid all the time.
My relationship with Isaac would be resolved at some point. I just hoped it wasn’t too late. I also needed to apologize to Lucy, so I took her out one afternoon and shared some of the stuff I was afraid of. I knew she’d understand and I was right. Most of all it was about making sure she felt safe in our relationship. I wasn’t going to get rid of her like she’d feared, because she was stuck with me as her big brother forever.
After she forgave me for being an asshole she told me to make things right with Isaac. I told her I’d planned to do just that as soon as I’d spoken to Joel.
Isaac had been very quiet on the flight to Lisbon. He’d barely spoken a word and I was pretty sure that when he hadn’t been watching movies with the headphones on, he’d been pretending to be asleep.
I wanted to reach out and take his hand, lace his fingers with mine.
I’d been so selfish, taking so much all the time, and even when he’d given me more I’d thrown it all in his face.
I had a plan of my own but it had to wait until we got back to Manhattan.
Joel waved to get my attention as we walked with our suitcases down the ramp at arrivals. David was standing behind him talking to Alex. I waved back, glad to see them again.
“Hey, guys, it’s great to see you,” I said as I hugged everyone in turn.
“So,” Joel said, not beating around the bush, “why the sudden trip?”
“I have some stuff to do at the Foundation that I’d planned before I left for New York, so I had to come back for that, and it’ll give Max a chance to see you guys before Christmas.”
I nodded.
“Okay then, shall we go?” David asked.
Isaac pulled me aside.
“I’m going with Alex. I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”
He kissed me on the cheek, and said his goodbyes to Joel and David before leaving us.
I was unable to move as Isaac left with his brother. That didn’t feel like a forever goodbye, did it? He said he’d see me in a few days. What did that mean? We were due to fly back in three days. Did he mean that he’d see me back here at the airport?
“Max.” I heard the worry in Joel’s voice. “What’s going on?”
“Can you take me to your apartment? I’ll explain everything when we get there.”
I didn’t say much in the car on the way to the apartment. I was hurt from seeing Isaac leave with Alex. As much as I’d insisted this was something I had to do on my own, now I didn’t know how I was going to do this without him.
“I’ll leave you to catch up while I go to the café,” David said. “I promised Filipe I’d let him decorate some cupcakes with me today.” David kissed Joel and then left us alone.
I hadn’t thought I was going to have to do this right after landing. Not that I was tired, because the adrenaline alone was making me pace up and down Joel’s living room.
“Max, you’re worrying me. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“I have something to tell you.” I sat down next to him and held his hand. “It may change our relationship forever and that scares the hell out of me. You’ve been my family for such a long time.”
I wiped the tears that ran down my face. Joel squeezed my hands but didn’t move. I was glad for that because if he hugged me, even for comfort, I was pretty sure I was going to break down and never tell him anything.
“Max, you’re not like a brother to me, you are a brother to me. You’ve been there for everything that was important in my life, the good and the bad. Whatever is it, I can assure you it will not change our relationship.”
I thought back to some of the moments we’d had together, the ones that weren’t tinted by lies. The time he’d told me that the guy he was crushing on had asked him out in high school. The time at university when I’d had a horrible flu and he’d made me stay in the dorm room for a week while he’d looked after me, and had made sure I got all the lecture notes from my classmates.
“Joel, do you remember when you came out to your parents?”
“Of course.”
“They were so amazing, and they told me after that I never needed to come out to them. If I ever wanted to bring a girlfriend or boyfriend to join us for dinner all I needed to do was ask. They had been so amazing that I decided to come out to my parents too.”
“You never talked much about your parents.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d noticed.
“That’s because they kicked me out when I came out and I haven’t seen them until recently.”
“What?” Joel sat back in shock, his eyed wide as he considered the ramifications of my statement.
“I was on the stree
t that first night. It was the scariest night of my life, Joel, but then this guy took me to an abandoned building and gave me a safe place to stay.”
“Why—”
I put my hands up to interrupt the questions I knew he wanted to ask.
“This next bit is really tough for me so I’m going to need you to just listen, okay?”
“Okay.” He breathed in. “Max, it won’t change anything.”
I nodded but couldn’t meet his eyes. There was no way to shorten the story so I told him everything, from living with Ryan, to the ways in which I used his house for comforts, and my time with James and Iris.
Joel sat back and looked out toward the balcony doors.
“And your parents?”
“I never saw them again. When Lucy turned up on my doorstep it was like the past had caught up with me and I had to face everything. I saw them at the custody hearing. I realized then what I already knew but had forgotten. James was my dad; your parents were my parents. I was so lucky to have more role models in the last fifteen years than most people have in their lifetime, and now I have Lucy too.
“I’m scared that I’ll mess things up with Lucy, but I’m also excited. She’s so great, Joel. You’ll love her.”
The tears were running in streams and I struggled to speak between my ragged breaths.
“All these years, when I thought you were going home. When I thought you were safe. You were just surviving.”
Joel pulled me into a tight hug and sobbed. All the pent-up tension slowly left my body as we stayed locked together for the longest time.
“I’m so sorry, Max. I’m sorry for everything that happened to you in the past. I’m not going to beat you for not coming to me because I’m sure you’ve already done enough of that to yourself to last a lifetime. But I will tell you now, I swear to god, Max James, you pull another one of these again, and I will have your ass on a plate.”
I let out a half chuckle half sob.
“It was so hard going through all that without you,” I said. “I wanted to tell you more than I did but I wasn’t ready. I love you so much, Joel. I have a new sister but you’ve been my brother since day one.”
We talked for longer than we had in the last few years about anything and everything. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed Joel until then.
“Now tell me what’s going on with Isaac.”
“I messed up, Joebug. He made us come here so I could talk to you. He’s been telling me for ages that I needed to come clean but I was so afraid and I let all my anger out on him. Now he’s gone to Alex’s and I don’t know if he’ll come back home with me.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Go on.”
“I don’t know Isaac very well but I know enough to know he’s a great person. He’s been there for David in the same way you’ve been around for me. I think he may be hurting a little but that he wanted to leave you to do this on your own so you can start again with a clean slate. The question is, how are you going to start?”
I could have asked for forgiveness, but even if everything was okay between us there was still the unanswered question of what he was going to do after Dorian and Jean-Paul got back home. Could I persuade him to stay? Hadn’t he already said he wanted to stay? After the way we’d separated at the airport I wasn’t so sure any more.
The idea came to me like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle fitting in to complete the picture.
“Joel, I’m going to need some help.”
“Anything.”
“First I’m going to need to catch some sleep, and then I’m going to need to find a glassmaker.”
I was so tuned in to Isaac’s presence, I saw him as soon as he walked through the revolving doors into the departures area of Lisbon airport.
Alex saw us before Isaac did and acknowledged us with a nod that went unnoticed by Isaac, which gave me a few extra seconds to compose myself.
Isaac knew me better than I knew myself so I was afraid he’d see everything that was in my heart before I was ready to reveal it.
His blue-green eyes were bright and shiny as he stared into mine full of uncertainty. I couldn’t reveal my plan but hell if I was going to stop myself from taking him into my arms.
He let out a sigh when I planted a kiss on his forehead and pushed his curls back to look at his beautiful face.
“I missed you,” I confessed.
“I missed you too.”
“Ready to go home?”
He nodded and closed his eyes, leaning into my touch.
We said our goodbyes and went through security. I turned back for a final wave and caught Joel giving me a big thumbs up while David and Alex high-fived each other. I chuckled.
“What’s funny?” Isaac asked.
“What? Nothing. I’m quite tired; I think I’m going to sleep the entire flight.” I lied because there was no way I’d be able to catch a wink when the most important moment of my life was only a few hours away, but Isaac didn’t react to my statement.
It was the longest flight of my life. If I’d thought the flight to Lisbon had been painful, I was wrong. The flight back to New York was downright excruciating. Between pretending to sleep and pretending to have a headache, I went from worrying that Isaac would know what I was up to, to worrying that he was worried about me and my sudden indisposition.
As soon as I could I turned my phone on at the airport and checked for messages. I asked Isaac to wait for me while I went to the bathroom so I could buy some time until I had the all clear. For goodness sake, I would not cut it as a spy.
As soon as the text came in I went back out and grabbed Isaac by the hand to lead him toward the arrivals area. Fortunately, we only had two small suitcases so it was easy to navigate around the other travelers.
I looked around and picked the best spot. Isaac looked at me like I was growing an extra head but I ignored him. I took the box from my suitcase and stood face-to-face with Isaac.
Everyone around us could hear my beating heart and knew what I was going to do, I was sure of it.
I was staring at the box like it contained all the answers and the courage I needed. Isaac put his hands on mine, his brows furrowed.
“Isaac, it’s been nearly a year since I let you go through the security doors of this airport on your way back to Lisbon. Our time together had been so short that after a while my brain started telling me it was all a fantasy, a dream, that it hadn’t really happened.”
Isaac’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and I wanted to kiss him so badly.
“Before you left I gave you a present.”
“The My First Christmas in New York tree decoration.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
His voice broke. “I… I said that the message would assume there would be a second Christmas.”
“I said it then and I’ll say it now. I wish for nothing more than for that to be true. So… I know it’s a little early but I have a present for you.”
I pulled the box up to my chest and then gave it to Isaac. He cleared his tears before taking the box from my hands and opening the lid.
As soon as he opened the box he knew what was inside and his smile put the sun to shame. He leaned for a kiss.
“Wait,” I said. “Can you read what it says on it?”
Isaac carefully took the glass decoration from the box and turned it until he could see the message.
He gasped before he repeated aloud the words that had been engraved.
“Isaac, will you marry me?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Isaac
“Isaac, will you marry me?” I read the words for a second time just to be sure.
Max ran his hand through his hair like he always did when he was nervous and didn’t make eye contact with me.
So this was why he’d been so weird on the flight. I’d known we wouldn‘t have a proper conversation until we got home, but I’d wanted to know if he’d shared his past with Joel. I ne
eded to know if he was ready to face the future together with no secrets from those he loved the most.
I was glad for the very small difference in height between us because it didn’t take much to get him to look me in the eye as I got closer.
“Max, there is no situation, no lifetime, no universe in which the answer to that question would be no.”
“You don’t think it’s too early?” he asked.
“I know we’ve only been together a few months, but I’ve loved you for a year. Even when I was mad because I thought you’d given me the wrong email, I still loved you. It is most definitely not too early.”
His face lit up and in a split second his mouth was on mine. The people dragging suitcases around us disappeared, the noise of the tannoy disappeared, and the entire world disappeared. In that moment there was only Max and I saying with our kiss all the things for which words came up short.
A loud cheer of whoops and claps brought us out of our bubble and I nearly dropped the box I’d been holding with the glass Christmas decoration.
Despite the noise that had pulled us apart my eyes didn’t leave his as our mouths separated.
“We’re getting married,” I whispered.
“Today, baby.”
“What?”
Max gave me a small peck on the lips and turned my face to where the loud cheers had come from. There, at the airport arrivals area, were Alex, Joana with Sofia in her arms, David, and Joel.
“Oh my god, Max, what’s happening? What are they doing here?”
My question went unanswered because the group came over and took us in a massive hug.
Between the congratulations I heard someone say, “Come on, guys, we’ve got to get a move on. Cars are waiting outside.”
They ushered me with Max into a fancy car that had its own driver and big seats at the back. The rest of the group shared another car that had been parked in front of ours.