In the middle of the night, I was the only one there. It was an indoor facility, so there was no cover to remove, no prep work to perform. I could simply dive straight in. Settling into an easy pace, the motions and movement were so routine I executed them without conscious thought. The flow and Zen sense of balance all started to pervade me, restoring my sense of self even as it removed my need for it.
That feeling, as transcendent and elusive as it sounded, I almost expected. It happened more often than not when I swam. What surprised me was the person I looked up and found standing at the edge of the pool.
CHAPTER 9
Emma
I couldn’t sleep. I was usually a pretty good sleeper, but not tonight. Tonight I had too much on my mind. And I realized I missed my parents.
I didn’t live with them anymore. I’d been on my own really since I was 18 and went off to college at Florida Atlantic. I’d moved back to Vero afterward, but into my own apartment. But they’d always been right there, a short drive away. It wasn’t as if we spent all our time together having heart-to-hearts. My dad wasn’t much of a talker, really, and my mom was always hustling and bustling around.
But I realized that being around them felt so reassuring to me. Even when craziness was going down with my horribly failed attempts with boyfriends, all it took was folding some laundry with Mom or doing some yardwork with Dad and everything felt all right again. They were such nice, reliable people, my mom a nurse, my father a property manager for a few local commercial buildings. They took care of things and people, watered lawns for neighbors on vacation, remembered birthdays. I wanted to be like them when I grew up.
At 25, shouldn’t I already feel grown up? Why did I still feel like a kid, mucking my way through life without a clue? I’d started on this adventure so excited about the scheme Tori and I had hatched. We could take our blog to the next level! Get all kinds of crazy exposure, all while having the times of our lives!
She was already in Rio, part of the early PR crew covering the set-up, starting the hype. From her texts, it was everything she’d expected and more. And she hadn’t even met the athletes yet! She couldn’t wait.
Me? I felt like I’d completely lost my mooring. If I discovered untold stories from Chase’s past, how would I feel about telling them to the world? I was starting to think I’d feel like shit. He must have reasons he’d kept things quiet. And from what I’d learned about him, they were probably good reasons. He didn’t seem like a frivolous person, deciding to deny interviews just for the hell of it. And I was starting to feel awful for my ulterior motive in getting to know him.
Besides, other motives were quickly jockeying for top position. The more I learned about him, the more intriguing I found him. Yes, he burned with a fierce intensity that could, maybe even should scare me off. Instead, I felt thrilled by him. He truly amazed me with what he’d been through and the goals he was fighting so hard to achieve. And when he turned that intensity on me? Holy hell, I’d nearly burst into flames by the side of that pool. I hadn’t seen him the rest of the day, but I could still feel where our bodies had touched, where he’d pressed against me. Hard, urgent, driving me out of my mind.
I’d gone out to dinner with the women I’d become friendly with over the week, the ones I’d headed out with the other night. And I hadn’t answered Chase’s call. Maybe it was immature of me, but I felt so in over my head. I needed some time to figure things out.
But my mind raced so much I couldn’t sleep. Wide awake at two a.m., I laced up my sneakers and went out for a walk, just from the hotel to the swim complex and back. It was a safe area, and the distance wasn’t far. Hopefully, it would be enough to calm my restless energy.
When I got to the swim center, I saw a light on inside. Somehow, I knew who it was. Who else would be up in the middle of the night restless with pent-up energy?
Despite the warnings going off in my head—hadn’t I felt like I needed some distance?—I walked in and found him in the pool, swimming laps. He stopped when he saw me at the edge.
“Getting in an extra work out?” I asked.
“What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He pulled up his goggles and we looked at each other. Then he pulled himself out of the pool. Even that looked like poetry in motion, such fluid strength with all that water sluicing off of him, streaming down his ripples of muscles.
“Give me a sec.” He strode off to the changing room, then came out about three minutes later in a T-shirt and shorts.
“That was quick.” I looked at his wet hair. He’d been wearing a cap while he swam, so he must have showered.
“Like I’ve said before, I can be quick when I need to. But when I can, I like to take my time.”
There was no mistaking the double meaning in his words this time around. I looked down, feeling shy and somewhat overwhelmed at how strongly I responded to him. With a few words, he had my pulse racing.
“Let me walk you back to your room.” He wrapped my hand in his and together we started off, flicking off the lights and making sure the door was locked behind us. The crickets were loud in the hot, humid summer night, serenading us as we walked. Under the street lights, we traveled the sidewalk. With the difference in our heights, you wouldn’t expect it would be so easy to walk side by side. He had quite a bit more leg length than I did. But, like so many other things between us, we easily clicked, falling into step as if we’d been doing it our whole lives.
There, in the middle of the night with Chase, I felt a strange sense of peace. All the jitters that had followed me throughout the day melted away at the touch of his hand, the heat I felt radiating from his body. I just loved being around him.
We reached the hotel too soon. I wished we could keep on walking, but we headed into the lobby and over to the bank of elevators.
“Third floor, right?” he asked, still holding my hand, punching the key. I nodded, not bothering to ask how he knew. By now I knew the man was interested in me. He must have asked the front desk and thought about stopping by, maybe had some time while I was out.
When we got to my door, he stopped and reached out a hand to caress my cheek, then my chin with his thumb. “We both have a lot on our minds,” he murmured.
I nodded, not wanting to say good night, but not sure what I wanted to happen next. It felt like something big was happening between us, something I’d never experienced before. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked, looking at his chest.
“Do you want me to?” He tilted my chin so I was looking up at him. He searched my eyes.
I closed them, feeling too vulnerable. But I rested my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me there so strong and secure I about decided I wanted to move in. My new home: his arms.
“Yes,” I decided, moving to take out my room card and unlock the door. He followed behind me and I flicked on the light.
“Why is your room so small?” he asked, sounding affronted on my behalf.
I looked around. It was a standard room in a standard hotel, a double bed, bureau and TV, plus a side table with a desk chair. Nothing to write home about, but not upsetting.
“This is what everyone’s room is like. Except yours.” I recalled he had a nice set-up in a suite. Because he was one of the VIPs on the swim team? Or because he’d paid out-of-pocket for an upgrade? I didn’t know, and felt nosy asking.
“You’ll get upgraded in the new hotel,” he assured me.
“That’s nice, Chase, but not necessary.”
“Yes, it is,” he insisted.
“Have you not stayed in many regular hotel rooms?”
“Sure I have. But I can’t stay in a suite with you in a box like this. I had no idea.”
“It hasn’t been bad.”
“You’re too nice,” he chastised, taking me in his arms again. “You should have thrown a fit once you saw where they were putting me up.”
/> “I’m not big on throwing fits,” I admitted. I’d grown up in a calm, drama-free environment and had learned to love it. As much as Tori entertained me with her ups and downs, I myself was no fan of drama. I hoped someday I’d meet a man who felt the same way. And then it hit me. Maybe I had.
“You’re shaking,” he whispered into my hair, his hands along my back, and I realized he was right. “Are you all right?”
All right? It was three in the morning and I hadn’t slept at all. I felt so messed up and confused about what was right and what was wrong. Half of me wanted to jump him and have wild porno sex all night long. The other half of me remembered how I’d felt all day and night before I’d seen him again—like I needed a breather.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of me?” he asked, pulling back a few inches to look at my face.
“Of us.” I swallowed, worrying I sounded crazy. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling.
“You don’t need to be frightened.” He wrapped his arms around me again, nestling my head against his shoulder, stroking my hair. “Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want. I know I’m intense. I can dial it back.”
“It’s not really your intensity that’s freaking me out. It’s mine. And I’m feeling really confused and exhausted.” Where was all this honesty coming from? I confessed thoughts to him I hadn’t even fully formed.
“You need to get some sleep.” He kissed my forehead, reluctantly pulling away.
“Don’t go,” I found myself saying, grabbing on to his hand.
He nodded. “I’ll stay if you want.”
I didn’t know what exactly I was proposing, but I knew I wanted to be with him. He reached over to flip out the light, then drew back the covers. That’s the kind of moves you had with giant Olympic swimmer arms like his. It made me smile and together we climbed in, finding each other in the darkness, clothes still on, melting into each other’s body.
“Let me hold you tonight, Emma,” he whispered, kissing my hair, pressing my cheek to his chest. I could hear his heartbeat as we lay together, so steady and strong. “I want to make you feel good. Let’s just sleep tonight.”
I could barely believe it, given how horny the man had made me in the closet, at the pool, but against his solid warmth in bed, with his large hands caressing my back, sure and slow, I felt sleep ease its way into my limbs. My eyelids grew heavy, my thoughts fuzzy, my awareness narrowing to sensory impressions. His heartbeat. The rise and fall of his chest. His smell, a unique masculine musk I knew already on instinct. Plus a hint of chlorine, which until now I’d never found sexy. Who knew pool chemicals could combine into something so delicious, so sensual, so dreamy…
The next thing I knew, he was giving me a good-bye kiss the next morning. Standing already at the side of the bed, he leaned down to my cheek. “Thank you, Emma.” And he was out the door.
§
The flight home wasn’t bad, just three and a half hours. My parents were waiting for me, full of questions. They were so excited. We were such huge fans of the Olympics and now I was getting a chance to be part of it all. I wished they had the money to come join and watch in person, but a trip to Rio plus a hotel during the highest-demand window the city had ever experienced? Not going to happen.
“I know you’ve been busy,” Mom explained, “So I’ve been saving these for you. Look who’s on the cover!” She handed me a couple of magazines in the back seat of the car as we drove back from the airport. Look who, indeed. Chase Carter gazed at me from the cover of People magazine and Men’s Health. On Sports Illustrated, though, he had to share the space with a couple of his teammates. I bet they would have sold more copies if they’d just featured him.
With those ice blue eyes and his steely, locked gaze, you could feel the determination radiating from his set jaw. The man was going to win gold, and he would do it over and over again. The world was waiting.
Was that really the same man who’d held me in his arms all last night as I slept? I must have been dreaming.
“What’s he like?” Mom asked. “Is he hard to work with?”
“Make him treat you right,” my father advised from the driver’s seat. It was as if he already knew he had to give me that kind of relationship advice.
I tried to answer their questions as best as I could, but my mother knew me well enough to ease up. “She’s tired,” she told my father, patting his arm. “Let’s not pester her.”
“We’ll give her some dinner first,” he agreed.
I felt like I hadn’t slept in a week. I didn’t even make it back to my apartment after dinner. I just crawled down the hallway like a little kid and fell into my old bed. My room now shared space with a treadmill, but Mom still kept my twin bed set up for the odd night I might want to sleep over.
With Tori out of town already in Rio, there was no one in my apartment to chat with so I ended up spending the whole weekend. I didn’t need more time in my head. I needed regular life and my parents offered that up in spades. Trips to the post office, hardware and grocery stores, making fresh summer salads, fixing loose doorknobs, they ran a tight ship and I enjoyed getting pulled into their organized, efficient bustle.
I didn’t stop by The Center for Sports Medicine, even though I would have liked to say hello to some of my co-worker friends. There was too much risk I’d get pulled into working with a client. Other members of the group practice had happily taken over all of my patients during my month-long absence, but if I walked in and someone had called in sick or needed a break I’d for sure get called into line of duty. I didn’t mind helping out my parents, but I needed my weekend off.
I kept my father company while he tinkered with a bike in our garage. And when I said bike, I didn’t mean motorcycle. To me, my dad was super cool, but even I knew he wasn’t motorcycle cool. Once the bike was oiled and ready, I hopped right on and headed out into the late afternoon Florida sunshine. As a local, I didn’t go out in the middle of the day to bake myself slathered in oil. What I loved were the late afternoons, crowds subsided, lazy sunshine and last fading rays. Give me a book and a beach chair and I was in my happy place.
When I got to the beach, my phone blipped with a text. It was a photo of a beach. From Chase. I almost looked around, half wondering if he were there. I texted him back.
Emma: Where are you?
Chase: Naugatuck. My dad’s house. How’s Vero?
The best way to reply? A photo, of course. I locked my bike and walked out past the dunes onto the white sandy beach. I’d lived there all my life, but the coastline never ceased to amaze. The crashing waves and cries of gulls, the scampering clusters of sandpipers and white puffy clouds against endless blue, it welcomed me home like nothing else. I snapped a pic, which of course didn’t do it justice. Photos never did. Someday I’d have to learn to paint. Maybe in my retirement I’d head out every day with an easel and devote myself to trying to capture even a fraction of the beauty of the ocean.
I sent Chase my version of coastline.
Chase: I thought I sensed you nearby.
The man really knew how to make me smile.
Emma: Have you ever been to Vero?
Chase: No, Palm Beach though.
Palm Beach meant money, money, money. About an hour and a half down the Atlantic coast of Florida, Palm Beach boasted a jet-setting society crowd and expensive boutiques on every corner. Vero had some of that, but a lot more mid-range, family-friendly restaurants and shops. I’d heard of Naugatuck, too. It was an exclusive island off the coast of Massachusetts, the type of place you’d vacation after the IPO and sale of your dot com.
Chase must come from money. Another piece in the Chase Carter puzzle. I’d lost track of whether I was putting it together with my blogger hat on, or whether it was just me, Emma Nelson, interested single woman.
Chase: What have you been up to?
Emma: Catching up on reading the latest issue of People magazine.
I couldn’t help it. I
had to tease him. The man was the featured cover model on practically every major national publication. It was too weird not to mention.
Chase: Do you have a poster of me up on your bedroom wall?
I burst out laughing. I didn’t know why, but Chase’s humor always surprised me. It was probably his intensity, the burning heat in those blue eyes. He didn’t look like he had a great sense of humor. But it turned out he knew exactly what to say to crack me up.
Emma: I was thinking I’d make a collage. There’s plenty of photos of you to make a big one.
Chase: That is so creepy.
I pressed send on the “blow a kiss” emoji before I’d thought it through. It was an instinct. Tori and I communicated in large part via emojis and GIFs. She was the best at finding hilarious ones that I could re-use. But now I’d sent Chase a big kiss.
Chase: Wish it were in person.
I put my phone back in my pocket. Two more days before I’d see him again. The next facility was only a state away in Georgia. Then we’d head directly to Rio.
I biked over to a friend’s apartment to hang out. Another friend came over and we made enchiladas for dinner and watched a silly Zac Efron movie. Really, I’d watch anything with him in it as long as he removed his shirt. Thankfully, directors seemed to understand I was not alone in my thinking and that was exactly how he rolled for most of the movie.
Back at my parent’s house at midnight, they were already asleep so I headed to my room. I felt guilty about it, but I was kind of glad to avoid any late-night heart-to-heart talks with my mom. She was so good at the laser-like questions, piercing right to the heart of the matter. And I knew what she’d say about my current situation. She’d like Chase all right, hard-working, clean-living and, at least from what I’d seen so far, really good to me. But she’d tell me to wait. Now wasn’t the right time to start anything. I was there in a professional capacity, hired as his physical therapist. He was about to compete in front of the eyes of the world, going for gold on an international stage.
In Deep: Chase & Emma (All In Book 1) Page 9