Jack looked up and studied my face before he chuckled. “You speak like you’ve lived your entire life.”
You have no idea.
“In some ways I have,” I admitted. “I’ve made my career commitment to my father. I couldn’t leave my life just like that. Things are far too complicated now. I think people who take those kinds of chances are brave. But I’m just not one of them.” I added the final sentence as an afterthought.
“Yes, you are,” Jack whispered, which drew my complete attention. His eyes were soft and welcoming once again. “Brave, I mean.”
Was he was trying to make amends for our awkward conversation? Now, he was the one entering dangerous territory without even knowing it. I decided to let him off the hook.
“You don’t know me well enough to say that.”
I REMAINED with Jack until he was done with his lunch. I didn’t know what to say to him, and yet I couldn’t seem to detach myself from the situation. I was trying to relax and get a read on him at the same time.
Afterward, Jack and I walked back to the office together. He was on my left, with his head bent and his hands in his pockets. We strolled in the afternoon sunshine, neither one of us in a hurry to head back indoors. We were quiet, yet somehow the silence had become comfortable, even enjoyable.
I glanced a time or two at his handsome profile, acknowledging how fascinated I’d been by him for the better part of a year. His face was the type I was inclined to trust. Intelligence brimmed inside his dark eyes, and his relaxed manner often put my own racing mind at ease. There was something else in his expression that I’d glimpsed on occasion. I would have been hard pressed to describe it as sadness or anger or stress. It was something that made Jack mysterious and complex to me.
And who was I kidding? It also made him fucking irresistible.
I kept thinking I should say something to him. But didn’t want to ruin the first moment of contentment between us since the weekend. There was no sense in pushing forward with uncomfortable conversation.
As we approached the side entrance to the building, Jack picked up his pace and reached for the door handle. He held it open for me and smiled as I walked through. I turned to thank him and considered pushing him against the wall just inside the door and kissing him hard while I greedily grabbed his ass.
Our respective offices were located to the left of the entryway, but he turned right. “I’ll see you soon,” he said.
“Will do.” I doubted he heard my response.
I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead. In truth, I didn’t mind his hasty retreat. After a morning spent with frenzied thoughts of Jack, I needed to get my head back in the game and focus on our impending meeting with Robert. I’d dug myself a nice hole by forgetting our plans on Saturday morning. I would have to pull off a stellar performance to tamp down his bad mood.
I returned to my office, dreading the encounter with Robert and hopeful that Jack’s presence would be enough to help me survive it.
Tracie offered to help me set up for the meeting, but I declined. I was intent on preparing for anything Robert might throw in my direction.
When I entered the conference room, I flipped on the lights and closed the door. I set my papers down on the oblong table and glanced at the large window on the opposite wall. The heavy floor-length curtains were drawn together and the green barrier of fabric was claustrophobic. I strolled around the table, pulled them open and allowed the sunshine to brighten the imposing space. For extra measure, I slid open a window to let in some fresh air. The relaxing and sweet high desert scents of springtime filtered into the room.
I took the long way back around the table, completing a full orbit of the meeting space. I pulled one of the light brown plush chairs away from the table and took my seat in front of my work. As I sorted my various notes into a manageable order, the door clicked open.
My body tensed and I angled my chair in the direction of the doorway.
Jack entered the room and I smiled with tremendous relief.
“Long time, no see,” I joked.
“Too long for me,” he teased back.
I grinned and shook my head as I returned to my work. Jack chose to sit in a chair across from mine on the other side of the table. To his credit, he opted not to distract me from the task at hand. He set about organizing his own notes as soon as he settled into his seat. The comfortable silence we achieved on the walk back from the Chinese restaurant returned, and I was grateful.
Despite the events of the weekend, I was happy to be teamed with Jack on this event. In the months since he joined the firm, Jack had developed a reputation as a solid and capable manager. He was still learning the lay of the land and its particularities, but he never appeared uncertain about how to proceed with any assignment he received. I knew without checking in with him that he’d completed all the tasks Robert would quiz him about.
Just as we both finished rifling through our various notes, I heard Robert greet Tracie as he marched by her desk. He entered the conference room, closing the door behind him without a backward glance. Dressed in khakis and a dark red polo shirt, it was clear he’d spent the morning multitasking his appointments during a round of golf. The color of his shirt complemented his fair skin and hair, which was now more gray than blond, and although Robert had his vices, his body had been well maintained by his love of the outdoors.
As Robert made his way toward me to assume his usual seat, he nodded to the man sitting across from us. “Afternoon, Jack.”
I turned my head in Robert’s direction, tilting it upward. If Jack offered a response, I never heard a word. Robert paused by my chair and with one swift motion pinned me into my seat with an uncharacteristic embrace from behind. Trapped by his strong arms, he then pressed his lips to my temple.
My back hit the chair, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the pressure of Robert’s invasive action or my instinct to retreat from it. His lips were firm and rested on my skin for just a heartbeat or two, but it was long enough for me to inhale the nicotine on his breath and my stomach knotted. When he pulled away and took his own seat, I was frozen by humiliation and revulsion. My forehead was moist from his touch and it took all my willpower not to wipe my face in utter disgust.
“Good afternoon, Kathleen.” Robert’s stern greeting broke through my haze of shock and I turned my head with deliberate slowness and met his pale green eyes. “I hope you’re all better. I missed you at breakfast on Saturday.”
Robert’s attention turned to Jack. “How about you, Jack? How was your weekend?”
I risked a glance at Jack as fear radiated through my veins. His face was more or less composed, but his eyes were remote and cold. There was no denying the tension in the conference room.
Jack’s answer was subdued and short. “Good. Just what I needed.” Rather than ask about Robert’s weekend, Jack changed subjects. “Good round of golf this morning?”
Robert beamed, either unaware or unwilling to acknowledge his disruption. “Yes. First time I’ve been out since last summer. Met up with Charlie Franklin out at Widgi Creek. Have I introduced him to you yet?”
Jack shook his head. “No.”
“Do you golf?”
“I used to, back in college. But it’s been a while.” Jack attempted to lighten the mood, but I was unable to play along.
Robert didn’t skip a beat. “Bend is one of the best places to golf in the whole state. One of the reasons I wanted to move here. Kathleen used to go out with me.” Robert looked back to me and I winced. “Remember that?” His question held an unmistakable icy tone.
“Hmm.” I wasn’t willing to provide any more acknowledgements.
Robert’s eyes narrowed for an instant before returning his attention to Jack. He grinned. “I’ll take you out there one of these days. Lots of business to be done on the links. Gotta take advantage of the great climate we have here.”
Robert continued speaking about his outing with Charlie Franklin, and as he went on I fo
und it impossible to look at him. I was still recovering from the unexpected greeting, although my shock had dissolved into anger. If my eyes locked onto his, I was going to snap.
I decided to take my lead from Jack and watched him instead. I waited until his brown eyes drifted back in my direction. Jack watched with a solemn expression as I wiped the slimy residual from Robert’s kiss with my fingers. I then crossed my arms and wiped my contaminated fingers on the underside of my sleeve. The expression on Jack’s features transformed into concern, and I pulled my arms even tighter against my body.
Robert had blindsided me, and I was stupid for being outwitted by him yet again. Everything that had taken place since he walked through the door had put me at a severe disadvantage.
Jack looked unsettled by Robert’s aggressiveness, and dread crept into my thoughts and my body. Perhaps it was because I was still so unsure about Jack. I would have preferred to remain on equal footing.
I didn’t want him to understand certain things about my life so soon, if ever. I wasn’t ready for it. I wanted to keep the same things hidden from Jack that I did from the others in my life. The fact that he’d observed such a power play moment between Robert and me firsthand was the worst-case scenario come true.
Jack Evans was a man capable of riling intense stirrings in me. He broke through my heavy defenses just by uttering a word or offering me a wandering look. No one had ever left me as raw and translucent as he did. He troubled and confused me, and in doing so, made me understand just how numb to my own life I’d become. And I didn’t have the first clue how to process this avalanche of enlightenment.
As we progressed through the meeting, our professional exteriors attempted to compensate for the awkwardness in the room. Robert conducted his business affairs with tailored efficiency, and Jack and I were prepared for his scrutiny. While the tasks had been completed and reported back to Robert, he couldn’t seem to resist poking me in other ways.
“You’ll come to the house in Portland after the event,” he announced in front of our colleague. “We’ll have an evening together. It’ll make up for this weekend.”
“I can’t,” I said without pausing to think of his reaction. Robert’s eyes flashed with irritation, but I pressed on. “I’m coming home as soon as the event is over. I’m meeting Sarah for dinner to talk about the fundraiser for the hospital foundation. I’ll barely have time to make it back from Portland.”
Robert paused and, because I knew him so well, I understood he was considering how he would address my second rejection of the week.
“Speaking of Portland,” he began, “there will be any number of female clients there, Jack. It should be a good place to display some of that East Coast charm of yours. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up back in the dating game.”
Jack was in the middle of jotting notes and paused. His composure remained intact, while I clenched my hands in controlled anger. Jack raised his arm and glanced at his watch.
“I’m sorry to cut this short,” he announced, “but I need to pick up my daughter from school.”
“Not at all.” Robert slapped his palm against the conference room table. “It sounds like you two have things under control. We’re good to go.”
With that, we both began to gather our notes. As I collected my things, I considered how Jack avoided addressing Robert’s suggestion. The evasion was a trait I would keep in mind moving forward.
Jack made his way to the conference room door and I followed, seeking escape. When Jack pulled the door open and stepped out into the reception area, Robert halted my escape.
“Hold on, Kathleen. I need more of your time.”
“CLOSE THE door.” Robert sounded grave. His command gave me pause, but I complied when he added the rarely used please.
“Take a seat,” he instructed as soon as the conference room door clicked shut.
Doing so would put in me in closer proximity to him, which I was reluctant to do. Despite my misgivings, I sat down. I waited in motionless silence and attempted to avoid his gaze.
When he spoke, he emphasized each word with a stern jab of his finger. “Call Sarah. Cancel your meeting. Spend the evening in Portland with your family.”
“No.” The word was out of my mouth before he could even draw another breath.
Despite my verbal boldness, my eyes were locked on his immense hands. They were twice the size of mine and, even under the friendliest of conditions, they never failed to intimidate me.
“No?” Robert was getting angrier, but waited for me to make eye contact before continuing. “What do you expect me to say to Courtney?”
The mention of the woman’s name turned my oxygen into acid. “I don’t care,” I huffed. “Tell her whatever you want.”
“She was offended when you didn’t show up on Saturday. She spent all day Friday getting the house ready.”
I couldn’t quite bring myself to roll my eyes, although it would have been safer than my response. “You mean the housekeeper spent all day getting the house ready while your wife went to the spa.”
Robert’s foot kicked the underside of the conference room table, and I flinched in surprise. “Watch it, Kathleen. You’re crossing the line.”
Embarrassed by my reflexive display of nervousness, I snapped in return, “Your current wife is nothing to me. I have no obligation to her.”
“What the hell has gotten into you, anyway?”
You mean besides Jack Evans?
As the immature thought flashed through my mind, I was unable to hide the accompanying smirk.
“What’s so funny?” he demanded.
The smirk receded. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You blow me off with no explanation or consideration. You thinking about the past again?”
I glared at him in total amazement. “Don’t even fucking go there, Robert.”
“You need to grow up.”
His remark hit home like a wasp’s sting and reminded me of my breakfast with Jack over the weekend. I’d stood in Jack’s kitchen and compared his status as an adult with my own. It was one thing for me to think these things about myself. It was quite another for Robert to confront me with it. My anger flared.
“You want to go grab the kitchen sink and drag that in here, too?”
“You need to let it all go.”
“I have,” I spat. “You’re the one bringing up the past. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about twenty-five years ago or last weekend. That’s all you.”
“I’m your father, Kathleen.” He made the declaration as though the mere fact was enough to merit my respect. It didn’t. Not by a long shot.
“I know that. Believe me, I know that, although I try not to think about it.”
“You need to pull yourself together. I don’t know what triggered this, but you need to get your head back on straight.”
“Stop talking to me like I’m fifteen.”
“Stop acting like you’re fifteen.”
Our communication had never been good, but this scene had deteriorated to the point where I no longer cared to listen. And for the first time in my life, I realized I didn’t have to.
“Do you have anything work related to discuss with me?”
Robert stopped at my question and abruptly sat back in his chair. “No. Do you?”
“No.”
His face projected calm, but his eyes seethed with anger. “Anything else?”
“How about this? Don’t you ever touch me in the office again. Let’s see if you can master that first.”
I stood up and exited the conference room while Robert continued to sit in stunned silence. I knew if he rose from that chair before I made it through the door, another one of our blowouts would ensue. I was banking on the fact that he wouldn’t be dumb enough to go ballistic in front of his staff.
I returned to my office immediately. I sank into my chair with relief and began to plot my next escape. Lost in thought, I vaguely registered the fast footsteps approaching my open doorway,
but I looked up when my intruder offered a bright, happy greeting.
“Hello, Kathleen! How was your day?” Jack’s daughter stood just outside my office door, smiling. She was dressed in black shorts and a red and white soccer jersey with the word Fury emblazoned across the front.
She was also standing out in the hallway where any number of employees could overhear our conversation. Sleeping with Jack wasn’t something I was ashamed of, but I was desperate to keep this news hidden for the time being. Besides the fact that it was no one else’s business, I couldn’t have Robert hear about it via the office rumor mill.
Talk about fury.
I stood up, waved Heide inside and closed the door. She took a seat in front of my desk without further prodding.
“My day was …” I paused as I considered how to sum it up so a seven-year-old could understand. “It was interesting,” I said. “How about yours?”
“Well.” She looked up to peer up at my ceiling. “It wasn’t great, but it was okay.”
While Heide was evasive, she was more articulate than I in the moment, and I was reminded of how much I enjoyed speaking with her.
“Did anything bad happen?” I asked, now interested to hear more. Any number of school playground scenarios began to flash through my mind, and I was concerned this relative newcomer to Oregon might be experiencing trouble with her peers.
Her attention returned to me. “No.” She glanced over my shoulder and pointed to my desktop computer. “Do you have Minecraft?”
I shook my head. “No, but I’ve heard of it.”
“You should try Minecraft. It’s pretty good.”
“I take it your dad lets you play Minecraft.”
“Sometimes. If I get all my work done, but I’d like to play more. The next time you’re at my house, I’ll show you how.”
I didn’t know how to answer that, so I didn’t.
“What’s your favorite thing about it?” I ventured.
Heide looked back up to the ceiling while she pondered her answer. “I love to create things. There’s nothing in your way to create stuff. It’s like Legos, because your guy is all blocks. You can make whatever you want—no monsters or some monsters or the right amount of monsters or you can go hardcore with monsters. And if you get hit by one, you die.”
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