He nodded slowly.
Gia wondered if he remembered who he was speaking to, he seemed so lost in his memories.
“Once I persuaded her to get away from her sisters more, we used to meet quite often, the group of us. Your parents were always there, some others too. We used to talk all the night through.”
He smiled sadly. “We solved all the problems of the world. Nothing was impossible to us. Sari was pretty quiet mostly, but when she spoke, everyone would listen. She was so different from the rest of us. And she seemed to enjoy those meetings. At any rate, she kept coming.
“Of course, by that time I knew what she was. I’d followed her and her sisters out one night and saw them change themselves back into swans, putting on their swan skins. I never said anything about it. I thought that if she knew that I knew, she’d stop coming. And by that time, I was so in love—” He sighed. “It sounds terrible now. But things were so different then. It was like being in a war. Things were happening. Nobody cared about the past or the future. All that mattered was getting the most out of every moment. I didn’t think about what I was doing, I just knew that I could not bear to lose her.” For a long moment he sat, staring down at the cup in his hands.
“Then everything changed. It really happened overnight. First it was just talk, and things in the news about attacks on magicals, people being denounced, show trials, that kind of thing. Then suddenly it was real. There were riots. I saw a man being— no. No need to talk about that.
“I knew by then that Sari’s sisters were involved in the resistance. They were in danger all the time. They wanted to take Sari away somewhere, for her to be safe but their father refused to go, and they could not leave him behind. Every time I said goodbye to her, I thought it might be the last time.
“We were a couple by then, and I did not want her to go. Every time she went to join her family, she was going into danger. We argued about it endlessly. I wanted her to come away with me, back here to South Africa. We were going to start a business together. Me, your mother, and your parents, Gia.
“I’d even bought the tickets. It was all organised. It was clear we had to leave. Italy was no longer safe. We were just waiting for you to be born, and as soon as Jennie was strong enough, we’d go. It was the only thing to do. But Sari would not agree.”
“She did not want to leave her family,” said Mandy.
Karel looked up, almost as if he’d forgotten there was anyone there and was surprised to hear Mandy’s voice. “That’s right,” he said.
“At last I could bear it no longer. I found out where she hid her swan skin, and hid it away so that she couldn’t leave. She didn’t know it was me, at first. I let her think that some random stranger had stolen it. That was wrong of me, I know.
“There wasn’t really much time to think about anything by then. You were born, Gia, and then everything started happening. Somebody— I never found out who it was— denounced your parents to the authorities. They were supposedly spies for the resistance, or some such thing. It did not make sense, but then it did not have to. Being accused was proof of guilt.
“Sari and I were sharing rooms with your parents by then, and one night we came home to find the doors broken down. Your father, Benjamin, he was gone. Jennie was hiding in a cupboard with you in her arms. She told us that the police had come to take them away. I’m pretty sure they killed your father that night. There was a lot of blood—”
Karel must have seen Gia’s expression, as he stopped, and put his hand on hers.
“I’m sorry, Gia.”
She shook her head, and managed, “It’s okay. Go on.”
He nodded. “I haven’t spoken about that night to anyone for so many years, it seems like a dream, now. I remember thinking that Jennie was unusually calm. She was so logical about it. She said that we were to look after you, that she had to go looking for Benjamin.
“I think she knew that he was dead. In any case, she had to go. She made us promise to leave as soon as we could, even if she did not come back. All she cared about was that you were safe, to get you safely back to South Africa. Then she left. We never saw her again.”
For long time they sat without speaking.
At last, Gia said, “And then you came here? With Mom?”
Karel nodded.
“That’s right. Sari figured out by then that it was me who took her swan skin. I mean, it would have been impossible for me to conceal it from her. I’d packed it in a trunk, and had to bring it with us. I’d have got rid of it if I could, but I did not dare. I think something would have happened to her, if any harm came to her skin.
“She knew I had it. But I think she stayed mostly because of you, Gia. Because she was looking after you by then. After all, it was just locked in a trunk. If she’d wanted to go so badly, she could have found a way to get it open.”
“I’ve always heard,” said Mandy quietly “that a bird-woman cannot take her skin, once it’s been locked away like that. Somebody has to give it to her.”
Karel looked at her bleakly. “I did not know that,” he said at last. He touched the bracelets.
“I bought these for her. As a disguise. We had to get out of Italy somehow. It took some pretty heavy bribes too. But everyone believed that only full humans could bear the touch of silver, so nobody ever suspected she was more than she seemed, once they saw the bracelets.”
Gia wanted him to stop speaking. Each new revelation fitted into place, but brought with it a new and unexpected pain. It was as if somebody had taken her life and turned it inside out. Still, she had to know.
“Do you think my parents might still be alive?” she said.
Karel shook his head. “Once we were back here, I did my best to find out. I even paid a man I knew over there to investigate. But we never found anything. I used to look up anyone I knew who came from Italy, or any part of Europe, and ask them for news. They told us the most terrible stories and I lost hope.
“Then the years went by and there was no word from them even after things settled down. There would be no reason for them not to contact us, at least. But we never heard anything. I’m sorry, Gia. I’m as sure as I can be that neither of them survived that night.”
Gia nodded, feeling strangely calm.
There was something else she needed to know. “Dad, why did Mom go out every full-moon night? Was it something to do with her being— well, something to do with being a swan-woman?”
“You knew about that? Oh. Well. I followed her a few times, to see where she went. Actually I think she knew perfectly well that I was checking up on her. I was terrified that she was going to leave, but when she kept coming back I stopped following her.
“It was to meet her sisters. They did not always show up. In fact I think they hardly ever came. But every now and then, on a full-moon night they came to meet her. Always down there by the Liesbeek River. I only saw them once. There were just two of them. Two of her sisters. The other times she just stood there, waiting for them, until she had to go home again.”
Suddenly he pushed the chair back and got up from the table. “Listen, I’m— I’m going out for a bit.”
Mandy put a hand out to stop him. “Mr Grobbelaar, do you want me to stay here the night? With the boy?”
He stared down at her, then nodded. “Can you do that, Mandy? I think that would be good.” Then he left abruptly.
“Well then,” said Mandy, getting up. “I’ll just give them a call at home, to say I’ll be spending the night here.”
As Mandy reached the door, Gia could no longer hold in the question. “Mandy,” she said. “Do you think she’ll come back?”
Mandy did not turn to look at her. She stood with her head bent, one hand on the doorframe. “No, child. I don't think that.”
“Why? How do you know?”
Now she did turn to look at Gia. “Your mother is not the first, Gia. I’ve heard the stories. It’s always the same. Once a bird-woman gets her feathers back, she’s gone forever.”<
br />
Neighbours
The next day Gia stayed home from school. She slept late into the morning and even when she was up and dressed, she still felt groggy and half asleep.
Mandy was in Nico’s room, sitting on his bed and talking to him. He lay curled up into a little ball, sucking his thumb, Poepie in the crook of his arm.
“How’s he doing?” Gia asked softly, once she caught Mandy’s eye.
Mandy shook her head. “Little boy is far inside his own head,” she said, stroking Nico’s hair.
“Did he sleep okay?”
“He did. But there were some dreams, poor boy.” She looked significantly at a bundle in the laundry basket that stood by the foot of the bed. “If you could just go put that sheet there in the machine. I don’t want to leave him like this.”
“Okay. Where’s Dad?”
“Working downstairs.”
Gia picked up the basket and carried it to the kitchen. She bundled the sheet into the washing machine, put some soap in the dispenser and turned it on.
Not a good sign. It was years since Nico had wet his bed.
She stood for a while watching the sheet tumbling round and round in its soapy suds. The doorbell brought her back to reality.
“I’ll get it,” she called to Mandy.
The man standing outside the burglar gate was vaguely familiar. He was old, but stood upright, and held something covered with a very clean dishcloth.
“Good morning,” he said as soon as he saw Gia coming down the stairs.
“I’m sorry to disturb— ahem.” He cleared his throat. “I’m Mr Joubert, your neighbour.” He indicated with his chin. “Number three. I should have come to introduce myself before. Rude of me. Ahem.”
He nodded to himself. “And now I come at a time like this. Terrible thing. Terrible thing. Private and all that, I know, don’t mean to pry but I could not help hearing.”
He stared at Gia, brows bristling. “I don’t pay mind to the, ahem, neighbourhood gossip as a rule, but I know that your family has been through the wars lately, what with Special Branch sniffing about. And now this thing with your mother.” He shook his head. “I’m so terribly sorry.”
“Well, uh, thanks,” said Gia. Her gaze went to the bundle in his hands again, and he gave a start.
“Oh! Ah. I happened to be baking this morning, so I made an extra pie for your family. I know you won't feel like cooking at a time like this.”
“Thanks,” said Gia, unlocking the gate. “That’s very kind of you.” She took the pie dish from him.
“Don’t put it in your fridge yet,” he said. “It’s still too hot. But it keeps quite well, if, ahem, you don’t want to eat it right away.”
Gia could see that he was not ready to go yet, so she waited there, holding the warm pie dish. Mr Joubert looked at his shoes, nodding to himself. After a few more nods and throat clearings, he straightened himself up.
“Don’t want to keep you. Give my regards to your father.”
And he turned on his heel and walked back to his own front door.
-oOo-
Not all the neighbours were as understanding as Mr Joubert.
When Gia went to get some milk and bread, a group of women gossiping on the corner fell silent as she went by, and their looks were far from friendly. One of them drew her toddler back as if she thought Gia might snatch her up.
“Birdy-girl,” somebody hissed.
Gia walked on, her face burning, biting her lip to keep tears back.
Why cry about something stupid like that?
A tall young woman with a far-too-short skirt and glossy waist-length hair, caught her eye and grinned. “Don’t mind them,” she said, in an unexpectedly deep voice. “Old bitches.” She flicked her cigarette derisively.
“We’ll chew them up and spit them up, hey, darling.” She straightened up from the wall that she’d been leaning against, her eyes suddenly serious. “Your mother was a lady, doll— ” She grimaced “Is a lady, I mean. Always used to compliment me on my style.” She smiled and flicked her hair back. “Don’t let those old bitches get you down.”
Gia gave her an uncertain smile. “Thanks,” she said.
In Granny’s shop the conversation died down as she entered, then started up again in a too-loud, too-cheerful way.
Gia waited until the other customers left before she approached the counter.
Granny took both her hands. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry,” she said, and suddenly Gia felt like crying all over again.
“Does everybody know?”
Granny laughed a little. “Sweetie, a swan comes crashing out of a window and flies down the road like an angel from heaven, yes, everybody knows.”
Gia frowned, struggling to keep the tears back. “Did you know, I mean, before? That my mother was—?”
“I had a guess, my sweetheart. But Granny’s been around, you know. I spot the signs. You’re sore because nobody told you what your mom really was?”
Gia nodded dumbly. It was ridiculous, she knew, she was acting like a little child but Granny had gone to the heart of it. The hurt of feeling like a fool for not knowing, for never guessing.
“How’s the little one taking it?” asked Granny, releasing Gia’s hands. “Wait, don’t use your sleeve. Here’s a tissue.”
“He’s not so good,” said Gia, wiping her face and then blowing her nose.
“Poor little thing. The caretaker not been round yet this morning?”
“No, I’ve not seen him.”
“But I hear Mr Joubert came with one of his pies.” She laughed at Gia’s surprise. “Told you Granny knows everything. He’s a good man, Mr Joubert. Had his own trouble with Special Branch messing him about. They don’t like his kind, if you know what I mean.”
Gia did not know, but she nodded anyway.
“Well, I’ll let you go back then,” said Granny.
“Granny,” said Gia. “Will she— is she really gone? I mean, she might come back—?”
But Granny was shaking her head. “No.” Her eyes were dark with unbearable knowledge. “No. Once they fly away like that, they don’t come back, my girl. They never come back.”
-oOo-
A little later, Granny knocked at the door. She had a box of odds and ends from her shop. Gia showed her in to Nico’s room.
“Thought you could make a jungle gym for that rat of yours,” she said to Nico. She plumped down on his bed, and started taking things out of the box.
“I’ve got lots of these tubes,” she said, “and I think these connectors will fit. You could make a whole maze for him to crawl around in. And then there’s this thing, it could be a little window…”
Nico lay watching her for a few seconds, and then, intrigued, reached for some of the objects.
“Look, they fit together like this,” said Granny, demonstrating. Nico sat up. Soon he was absorbed in the possibilities of the various bits and pieces from the box. He did not speak, but at least he wasn’t just curled up with his thumb in his mouth.
“Gia, can you come down?” said Mandy from the door. “Your father is calling a meeting.”
“What about Nico?”
“Leave him with Granny.”
Down in the studio, Karel asked Gia and Mandy to join him at the cutting table.
“I’m calling a meeting,” he said when they were both seated. “There are some difficult decisions to be made. I know that the business is probably the last thing you want to be thinking about now. But we have some serious commitments we have to honour, and deadlines to meet.”
He paused for a moment, lips moving as he searched for words. Then he got up so abruptly that Gia had to catch his chair to prevent it from falling over. He walked a few steps away, then stood there, rubbing his forehead. When he spoke again it was so softly that Gia had to strain to hear.
“If it were just me, I would just drop everything and go looking.” He shook his head. “But it’s not just me involved here. If I let it all go to hell, we will
lose—” He gestured to indicate the studio, the house upstairs. “I can’t, do you see?”
He looked from Gia to Mandy, trying to convince them.
“Of course not, Mr Grobbelaar,” said Mandy. “And we’re here to help, aren’t we? Gia’s been doing the gown, and I’m to put in the linings into all those jackets. What else needs to be done?”
Mandy’s words seemed to calm him, and Karel returned to the table and sat down once more.
“That’s what we need to figure out. Gia, I’ve had a look at the gown. You’ve done a lot, but it’s far from finished. If your— if your mother was working on it I would say we're well within the deadline. How do you feel about it? Can you finish it by yourself?”
Gia licked her lips. “I don’t think so Dad,” she said. “I mean, Mom was pretty much holding my hand all the way. If you could—”
Karel was shaking his head. “I can do it, of course,” he said. “But that means leaving all the other work, and if we don’t make our other deadlines we're in serious trouble.”
“I guess I can take on a bit more,” said Mandy but even Gia could hear the doubt in her voice.
“No, Mandy, you are already overstretched. Also, there’s Nico to look after.”
“Well, he’s only really here in the afternoons—”
“Can’t you hire somebody to help Mandy?” asked Gia.
Karel looked unhappy. “That would be a solution but we simply don’t have the money for that right now.”
“And there’s not many who would agree to work for us as things are,” said Mandy heavily. “I’m sorry, Mr Grobbelaar, to have to bring it up, but the stories that are flying around about Madam…well. Also it’s difficult to find anyone worth having, who wouldn’t be worse than useless. We need an experienced seamstress.”
“Taking on help is not an option right now,” said Karel. “Gia, I’ll be busy, but I can keep an eye on what you’re doing.”
“But Dad,” said Gia. “I’m not going to be around for that much longer. I’m leaving for Special Branch the day after tomorrow. There’s no way I’m going to finish Kavitha’s dress in that time.”
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