Dakota released me and pushed his glasses up his nose. “That’s not all that’s bothering me. Although it is part of it, it’s not all.” He looked away briefly, “It’s not that I’m entirely uncomfortable, but I still haven’t sorted out my feelings yet and that’s something I really need to do. When I’m with you, I get…” He didn’t finish but I felt like he didn’t have to. Dakota was confused and he wasn’t quite sure of what to make of the obvious tension between us.
He didn’t want to take advantage of me or the situation. He was telling me without that many details that he didn’t want us to end up compromising ourselves in our quest to achieve a goal that by this point seemed pointless to me. The more time I spent with Dakota the less I cared about pissing off Kirk. I enjoyed being with him because of whom he was. As much of a shock as that was, it was true.
It was also true that, although he was attracted to me, he still had feelings for Margaret and he was letting me know it ahead of time. I should have been glad that he was at least honest with me, because let’s face it, most guys would just let things flow and see where everything lead, but I really wasn’t all that happy with his honesty. I don’t know what I expected, but sincerity wasn’t it. Of that I was positively sure.
I was more angry. Angry that he still cared for her. Angry that he felt like he needed to take my feelings into consideration because he thought…what? That I was getting ahead of myself? I was a huge mess, and none of it was his fault.
“Don’t worry about anything, Dakota.” I looked at him directly. “There’s nothing to be worried about—at least from my end. You can rest assured knowing I can handle myself quite well.”
Yes, I did sound like the very bitch I knew I was. But I was so freaking angry that I didn’t care. It seemed like I’d taken things too far and Dakota didn’t want things to sail that way. Not that I could blame him. I might have come on a little too strong, but the whole point of this plan was to achieve the maximum amount of success.
Obviously, Dakota was unsure of where things were going. And maybe, just maybe, he was right to have doubts. Things were moving too fast and in a direction neither of us anticipated or had planned to navigate through. It could turn out to be a huge mistake. One that would hurt one or both of us.
Wanting to cool off a bit, I stormed off in the direction of my car and was suddenly very grateful that my friends were nowhere in sight. I heard Dakota calling my name but decided to ignore him. I really didn’t want to talk to him while I was fuming. I might accidently say something I’d regret later. I seldom had control over my larger than life mouth and it seemed to have a mind of its own the angrier I was.
As I marched toward my car, I felt a tug on my bag’s strap. Thinking it was Dakota, I turned to my right only to find that the tall, blue eyed, dark haired guy staring back at me was not my partner in crime. But someone a lot more dangerous.
“Hey, Janessa,” Dean McCarthy, the hottest guy on campus, greeted me with a smile that could have melt ice on a cold winter day. “I heard you broke up with Kirk.”
I glared at him for a second. Though I found him very attractive—I mean, knock-your-panties-straight off attractive—I knew he had a reputation for being a womanizer. I’d always liked him, had thought about dating him when I first arrived on campus, but his womanizing ways had kind of put me off.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t faired any better with Kirk.
“Hey, Dean.” I continued toward my car and he followed.
“You dumped Kirk for that other guy?” he asked as he kept pace next to me.
“His name is Dakota. And we’re just friends.” It slipped before I could think to stop myself. And I almost kicked myself when I realized my huge mistake. I was so mad I let something that important slip.
“Some friend,” Dean murmured.
“What?” I snapped.
Dean spared a glance back. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“He is,” I said, relieved when I finally reached my baby. I hoped he would just leave, but when he didn’t immediately stroll away I knew he had no intention to. He’d approached me for a purpose and I was pretty sure what that purpose was.
“But I don’t think friends kiss each other like that.” Dean folded his arms over his chest, putting the tribal tattoos on his forearm on display. He really was a sight. With the tips of his black hair grazing his broad shoulders, lean hips, bulky upper body, twinkling blue eyes, and a smile that could make you think naughty thoughts, he was by no means undesirable. He was sin on two legs. Sexy as hell. If it hadn’t been for his bad reputation, I would have allowed myself a piece of him. He was the type of guy that made you want to sin, badly. But the way he flaunted a flock of females around eighty percent of the time was a huge turn off for me.
“He’s a really good friend.” I leaned back against my car to put some distance between us. He had the tendency to make my body temperature rise in a matter of seconds.
“Too bad, because I think we could have been really good friends too.” He didn’t put a smirk on display like he usually did and that made me wonder whether he was being serious or not. What made Dean even sexier was that goddamn sobering smirk of his, but when it was suddenly notoriously absent, I realized something was wrong.
The fact that he’d come to talk to me could have said all I needed to know.
“A man that flaunts his conquests around doesn’t really appeal to me, sorry,” I replied.
Leaning back against the car behind him, Dean crossed his legs and arched one pierced eyebrow. “Just so we’re clear here, I’m always honest whenever a girl shows any interest in me. They know ahead of time what I’m all about.”
Right. He was all about the sex. No strings attached as they say. But I wasn’t that kind of girl. I’d committed three years of my life to a boyfriend that obviously had no respect for me. And because of this I’d begun to think maybe committing oneself to a man was not worth it after all. What did I get out of it? Nothing. Twice I’d committed myself to guys I thought would care for me and twice I’d been dead wrong.
“That’s just it, you’re all about the physical affection you can get out of the girls you hang out with.” There was a demeaning tone underling my words, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it.
“If a girl doesn’t mind being used, then who am I to complain? Besides, they can always say no, but they don’t.”
I scoffed. “And they don’t mind that you only use them for sex?”
He shook his head. “They use me for sex too, you know. And since I’m always honest they don’t mind. We both get something out of it.”
“Well, in that case, if you’re looking to add me to your long list of concubines I’m sorry to say that I don’t like to share.” I made a face at him.
He actually laughed. “I know that.”
His words kind of unsettled me. He knew? What did he want then?
“It wouldn’t be like that with you, though.”
Who was he kidding? I’d known him for over three years, and I’d never known him to have a serious relationship with anyone. He would be seen around with a girl, but two weeks later he’d be walking around with an entirely different blonde, brunette, or red head.
“Oh really? And I’m supposed to believe that?” Where was he going with all this anyway? Sure, he’d come on to me more than once in the past, but this seemed different somehow. He appeared a lot more determined this time.
“Why not? Why won’t you ever give me the benefit of the doubt?” He actually sounded upset. He even looked a little wounded.
“Because, I just found out that hot guys cheat. A lot.”
His smirk almost made me want to give in, almost. “You think I’m hot?”
The second he said that I realized what I’d let slip?
“No,” I lied. “But the chances of you cheating are huge.”
He uncrossed his legs and pushed himself off the car. Like a mountain lion stalking its prey, he started for me. I glanced around, trying t
o decide which way to run but he was on me before I could even think to move.
“It’d be different with you.”
Before I could think to scream, he was on top of me, his hands on either side of my face. I could barely look up for fear that he would take that as an invitation and kiss me.
“It’s no secret to you or anyone else just how much I like you. I believe we’ve had conversations similar to this one before. You’ve made me beg when no other woman has ever done that.” And I had a feeling that only made him want me more.
His male aroma, combined with the cologne he wore almost made me want to beg too. It almost made me wish he would kiss me, touch me.
“Dean, I kind of have this thing going with…” I stopped short, unable to finish. The look on his face was no longer friendly.
“I thought you said you two were only friends.”
“We are,” I added quickly. “I mean, we’re…well, we are getting to know each other better.”
“Excuse me.” The sound of Dakota’s harsh tone almost made me jump out of my skin. I’d forgotten all about him.
Dean glanced up, acknowledge Dakota briefly before stepping back from me.
“You’re excused.” Dean didn’t go too far though. He was still too close for comfort, and when he turned his attention back to me, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to kick him in the balls or reach out for him. “Think about it, Janessa. It would be different with us.”
My mouth dropped open as he said that. Why did he have to say something like that in front of Dakota?
“Thanks,” I managed to mutter through my embarrassment, which sounded like such a stupid thing to say under the circumstances.
Dean waved briefly as he stalked off, leaving a very confused me staring after him in a mixture of admiration and regret. The anger and frustration I’d felt moments before disappeared just as quickly.
Dakota glared at Dean as he walked by but as soon as he was out of sight, Dakota strolled toward me and stared down hard, as if wishing he could decipher my every thought.
“What was that all about?” he asked, his eyes dark and intense.
“Oh, nothing much. Just another guy hitting on me,” I said with a shrug of the shoulders.
Dakota’s eyes darkened even more. “Does that happen a lot?”
I tipped my head back. Why did he care if it did? Didn’t he have another girl to worry about?
“It happens once and a while.” I tried to sidestep him but he blocked my path.
“Why did you just walk off?”
“I needed time to think,” I hurried to reply, trying once again to sidestep him but he grabbed on to my wrist and pulled me back. “And space to breathe too.”
“About what?”
“About you. About us. Isn’t that what you wanted me to do? To think about where this is going?” I wiggled free of his grip, opened my bag, fished my keys out, and used the remote to unlock the doors. When I made to open the passenger side door, Dakota put his hand on it, mere inches away from my face, and moved in closer.
“Yes, I wanted you to think about it because I’m attracted to you. I don’t want this to get confusing. I don’t want us to do something we might regret later. Is that hard to understand?”
I would have ignored him, shoved him aside, and climbed into my car but then he reached out and touched the side of my face with one hand, and I all but melted at his feet.
“I don’t want this to get to a point where it will confuse us or something much worse.”
It was already confusing to me. I really liked him and liked him more every second I spend with him. But I understood where he was coming from. He didn’t want us to get too involved with each other and complicate things in ways we might resent later on.
“I know what you mean.” I reached out for his hand and moved it away from my face. “You don’t have to worry about that. It won’t get to that point.” But even as I said that, I realized that thinking about his lips, and how good they felt whenever they descended on mine, probably had already messed up with my head.
“Janessa—”
“Let’s just stay friends. You’re a great guy, and I’m sure Margaret will realize her mistake sooner rather than later.”
“Hey, you two.” The sound of Delilah’s voice drew us apart. “Been waiting long?”
“No. Not really.” I was aware of Dakota’s eyes on me but I refused to meet his gaze. “Ready to head home?”
“Actually, I…um…am going somewhere, so I’ll be carpooling with someone else.” Again that nagging suspicion that she was hiding something hit me. “But I’ll see you later,” she added.
It bothered me that she wouldn’t confide in me, especially because she had never excluded me from her life, but I didn’t want to push an issue that probably didn’t even exist. She had every right to have secrets.
“Sure. Have you seen Audrey?”
Delilah shook her head. “Not really, but she should be here soon.”
I glanced around and let out a sigh of relief when I spotted her marching in our direction with Uziel keeping pace next to her.
“Dakota, are you riding with Demarco?” Delilah asked, drawing my attention back to him.
Dakota spared a glance in my direction, his expression completely unreadable. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
I looked away because there was little else I could say to him. There was little else I wanted to say. I needed time away from him to think properly. To organize my thoughts. That was hard to do with him around.
“Hey.” Audrey finally reached us, and I all but dragged her to the car. She gave me one of those what’s-going-on looks but I ignored it.
“I have to get going. But I’ll see you guys later.” I tossed over my shoulder as I hurried to the driver side door. Uziel stared after Audrey, who climbed into the car right after me, and Dakota stared after me. I had the good grace to ignore him though. The last thing I wanted right then was to look into those enchanting dark eyes and be swept away once again.
I was running away. I did that a lot, but right then I felt like I had to run. I was confused and felt vulnerable. It had had been a long time since I’d felt that way, and I certainly didn’t want anyone to see that side of me.
Delilah waved just before I drove off and we waved back. Once we well on our way home, Audrey turned in the passenger side seat and slapped my arm with the palm of her hand.
I jumped up but kept my gaze on the road. “Ow. What the hell is that for?”
“What is wrong with you?” She sounded angry, and I was pretty sure that if I bothered to gaze at her I’d probably see that she was.
“What do you mean?”
She slapped my arm again. “Don’t pretend with me. Why were you flying off the parking lot? You didn’t even stop long enough to say goodbye.”
“I said goodbye.”
“Yeah, barely.”
“It’s nothing. I just needed to get away from Dakota. That’s all,” I blurted before I even realized what I’d said. Damn. Me and my goddamn big mouth. I couldn’t just keep it shut.
“Why? Did something happen between you two?”
“No. Of course not,” I lied through my teeth.
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not.” I reached out and turned the radio on to end the conversation, but she turned it off almost as soon as my hand returned to the steering wheel.
“Yes. You. Are,” she said. “Why?”
“I don’t want to tell you,” I hissed. “You’ll lecture me.”
Audrey slapped my arm a third time. “I’ll lecture you anyway.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I hate it when you’re bossy.” This time I did spare a glance in her direction only to catch her grinning.
“It’s the only way I can get you to open up. And I know something’s going on with you.”
My gaze returned to the road. “Dakota told me we should carefully think over this whole scheme.”
“That’s
what has you all upset?”
I really didn’t want to, but I realized it was best if the details just spilled out anyway. And they did. I told her everything that happened between Dakota and me moments before she showed up. Once I was done talking, it actually felt good to unwind and take off some weight.
“So, he’s having second thoughts because he’s attracted to you?” Audrey finally said.
“What?” Now I really did look at her like she’d lost her mind. “He never said that.”
“Maybe not in so many words.”
I checked my mental inventory searching for Dakota’s exact words, and it dawned on me that what Audrey said made sense.
“He might have said something like that,” I murmured.
“It sounds to me like he’s getting confused because he’s attracted to you, and he doesn’t want things to get compromising between you two knowing that he still has feelings for Margaret.”
I nodded. “Why would he think that?”
“Maybe because he noticed you’re attracted to him too.” Audrey nudged my arm with an elbow.
Being that I didn’t want anyone to know how I’d begun to feel about Dakota, I opened my mouth to deny it, but quickly realized Audrey was no fool. She could see the truth was plain as day.
“I like him. Yes. But it’s not like I’m going to fall in love with him or anything,” I said instead.
“You should be careful, Janessa. Never say never.”
“Oh, please. Don’t pull that cliché crap on me. That’s not going to happen. I won’t let myself fall in love with anyone. That mistake has turned around to bite me in the ass before, there’s no way I’m going for a repeat.”
Audrey shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
Refusing to comment on that, I focused my attention on getting home. Once we got there, however, I realized that locking myself in my room to think would probably just drive me crazy. What I really needed was some distraction.
“You go on in. I have somewhere I need to be,” I said as I parked in front of the garage I hardly ever used.
Audrey gave me a confused look but said, “Okay. I’ll see you later then?”
Payback is Sweet Page 14